


Ikigai

by FloraOne



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Baby Moon Kitties, Canon Divergence for the SilMil memory bits at the end, Contains a tiny Fake Boyfriend Moment cause I'm a sucker for that trope, F/M, Fluff, Fluff Fluff incredible amounts of Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Eating, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I love Makoto and Mamoru friend bonding, I wrote this in 50 days, Mamoru Chiba Appreciation, Mamoru POV, No Destiny Giving Cats (at least in the beginning), Origin/Coming of Age kind of story, POV Alternating, POV Third Person, Psychic Soul Bonds, Psychometric Abilities, Romance, Sailor Moon R, Secret Mutual Pining only in the begging tho than no more secret about it, Secret mutual pining, Some more Fluff, Supermarket Love Appreciation, Tux needs to do it on his own for like 7 chapters, Two M rated scenes, Umino twerks, Unazuki gets her first kiss somewhere in here in a tiny scene, Usagi POV, Was Inspired and Then Wrote Until I Keeled over, eveyone gets to be utterly cool
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-01
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-09-27 16:42:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 122,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10033520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FloraOne/pseuds/FloraOne
Summary: (Slightly AU) The Dark Kingdom never awoke and because of this neither did Luna or Artemis, so when Ail&Ann come around, there's no one around to wake any Senshi.The only one there to fight is Tuxedo Mask, yet Usagi is self-aware of a strange power within her, and thus feverishly wants to help. Also, she has this blindingly-huge crush for that baka Mamoru.This is a story where they have to figure this whole ride out on their very own.Mild adult themes in later chapters (This work contrains two M-rated scenes).Ikigai = (n) a reason for being, the thing that drives you. Japanese word without a literal translation in most languages.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ikigai = (n) a reason for being, the thing that drives you. Japanese word without a literal translation in most languages. 
> 
> This is the first fanfiction I have attempted to write since my teen-years. It’s a story I haven’t been able to get out of my head for a while. It’s still in the making, and I’m happy to get feedback on the way to see if this is going where I want it to ^^ !
> 
> Description: (Slightly AU) The Dark Kingdom never awoke and because of this neither did Luna or Artemis, so when Ail and Ann come around, there is no one to wake any Senshi. Only one around to fight the Cardians is Tuxedo Mask, yet Usagi is self-aware of a strange power within her, and thus feverishly wants to help. Also, she has this blindingly-huge crush for that baka Mamoru….
> 
> AN: I’ve moved the story up a year, so the Senshi would have been 15 during the Dark Kingdom Arc, and are now 16 at the start of this story. (And yes, Usagi is now in High School, but Ms. Haruna is still her teacher. I like her, that’s why.) I’ve made Mamoru a bit younger too; he is now 18/19. All the other things still existed, so Mamoru & Usagi met, everyone who had a Rainbow Crystal still existed, all the daily things happened, just without Generals, Dark Kingdoms, Youmas and Sailor Senshi around. So the first villains to appear in this story are Alan and Ann, and the only one to fight them in Tokyo is Tuxedo Mask – being the only one not woken by Luna. And this is where we start

Chapter 1

 

L

 

He felt her minutes before they collided. The pull he felt to her, magnetism almost, got stronger with each step he took, accelerating slightly to catch her directly at the corner.

 

He flinched a bit when he realized it.

 

Wasn’t it enough that he made fun of her every day, enacting for all it was worth the entire palette of courtesy a preschooler would shower his crush with – complete with name-calling and those condescending, patronizing smirks he had perfected, no; he let her smack right into him daily when in truth he would be able to avoid the collision so easily. The air vibrated around her to him. He need only step aside, feeling her coming towards him.

 

Yet here he was, taking longer, faster strides to be at the point on the street at exactly the right second so the impact cause by her forward momentum would be most intense.

 

And she didn’t disappoint.

 

Her whole body glided forcefully into his, pushing him backwards to the point of falling had he not stood his ground, and he was almost painfully aware of every part of his body that touched hers.  One bun on her head tickling his chin and being slightly squished beneath, the soft hair almost caressing his skin. Her tiny, gentle hands gripping his arms almost in reflex to steady herself, the vibration of her surprised shriek that was muffled by his button-down shirt, the warmth of her sharply exhaled breath tickling his skin through the button-holes, the leg she had extended to take her next step forward that had kicked his shin so painfully he hadn’t been able to withhold a gasp of pain, the way her whole upper body heaved into is. He could swear he could feel her heart hammering alongside his.

 

It made him feel like a pervert, the intense satisfaction he felt at having her body this close to him for this split second every day, for almost two years now.

 

“I’m sooo sorry I didn’t look where I was going I---“ She looked up apologetically. Then stopped. “Oh. It’s you. Never mind.”

 

“Oi, Odango. So eager to see me as usual” He smirked down at her, even though he _did_ feel a bit guilty. The eager one was him, after all. He couldn’t help it, though; with her the grins plastered themselves so easily to his face. He was bending down to pick up her briefcase that had tumbled to his feet, though this time she had closed it securely enough that the contents hadn’t spilled out of it. He still hadn’t brought his pants to the drycleaner from the incident last month, when her fountain-pen had practically exploded on his leg. “And late to school as always, I see. What’s up this time, was the cheesy man in the radio reading love letters again and you were too busy swooning to go to sleep?”  

 

Her cheeks flamed with color and he could see fire ignite in her eyes. It was so wrong of him to want to see it there every day. Having intense emotions directed at him by her gave him such perverse pleasure, even though it really was a different kind he wanted… 

 

“That happened _once_ , you jerk.” She raged, adorably. “And they haven’t aired that show in _forever_. It was a small part-series.”

 

“Right.” He twinkled at her. He knew that of course. He remembered every conversation they had ever had.

 

“Also,” Her voice was a bit high-pitched and breathy. “You’re obviously as late as me, Mamoru-baka, if you’re still lingering around here.”

 

“University classes don’t start until 9.” A blatant lie delivered with the straightest of faces. But these collisions were worth being late to class to him. Also, Mondays were the only days he had an early class anyway, so what if he was late to that.

 

“Oh.”  She still fumed, wrenching her briefcase out of his grip. Their hands brushed for a second, and he reveled in the contact, all feeling in his body zooming in on it.  “I don’t get why this still happens anyway. Isn’t Keio university farer away than Azabu was?” She muttered.

 

“Keio is basically around the corner. And this is the direct route from my apartment.” Not a complete lie. It was only a very slight detour.

 

In the distance, he could hear school bells starting to ring, signaling to the whole neighborhood that it was 8’ o clock and Usagi was indeed very late for school. And on cue her eyes widened as if the sound jolted through her. She dashed off and away from him. “Ja ne, Mamoru-baka, SEE YOU LATEERRR!” She yelled behind her, slowly disappearing from his sight.

 

He sighed, put a hand to his chest for a second where her breath had tickled him, and then broke into a jog into the opposite direction. He was definitely going to be late as well - classes started 8:15 and the campus wasn’t as close as he wanted her to believe.

 

L

 

Usagi slumped down into her seat with a deep and growly _‘Hrmpff’_ and listlessly took her pencil case and folder out to lay them on the desk before her. Haruna had of course given her detention, for being late, again. At least she wasn’t exiled from the classroom again – that only happened when she arrived closer to half an hour late. At least _that_ didn’t happen so often anymore.

 

She was in a foul mood. She had had those dreams again, which kept her awake half the night, which was why she was late in the first place  –  and they were coming to her more frequently ever since these horrible monster-attacks had started occurring.

 

The thought made her gaze fall sadly on the empty seat beside hers. Naru was still in hospital, recovering from that attack weeks _ago_. At least she was finally improving way faster.

 

And then there was this morning when she’d made a fool of herself in front of Mamoru. _Again._

 

Her heart was still beating loudly in her chest from their encounter. So loud and fast she wouldn’t have been surprised for her classmates to notice it. Alas, they were listening to Ms. Haruna talking about the comparison between using the past simple and the past continuum. Both belonging to a species she hated with a passion: English grammar. She sighed deeply, opening her book.

 

Why couldn’t she just be a bit more graceful around him? Why couldn’t she be a bit wittier, more confident? She let her head fall into her palm, her lips pulled into a pout.

 

_He’ll never start noticing me if I don’t stop acting like a banshee around him_ … but he just pushed her buttons so unerringly, she always blew up in his face sooner or later.

 

Her mind flew back to their collision only a few minutes ago and blushed slightly. The way he looked again this morning, in that dark button down to those darker pants, those expensive looking brogues he wore … the way he’s stood there, one hand in his pocket, looking for all eyes to see like someone who belonged on a billboard. _And the way those shirts always seemed to just_ cling _to him…_

 

_And how can anyone smell_ this _good?_

 

Truth be told, she was feeling a bit guilty about this every day. Because she could _feel_ that he was there, moments before she ever saw him. It were only ever a few seconds of warning, or premonition, of whatever she was supposed to call this, but she _would_ be able to act on it and stop before crashing – literally- into him. But she didn’t. She kept walking. And then she usually made a show of pretending to not realize it’s him, as if she walked into all kinds of people like that all the time. Even _she_ wasn’t _that_ klutzy.

 

Her nose scrunched up a bit. _But if I didn’t feel him this would be exactly what would happen, wouldn’t it? I’m just pretending not to be a psychic freak, is all…._

 

“—USAGI!”

 

Usagi jerked upwards in her seat. Ms Haruna had called on her, obviously repeatedly. Her classmates started to snicker.

 

“Maybe you want to start paying attention. May I remind you that this isn’t your strongest subject exactly?” More snickers throughout the room, and some sympathetic glances.  Usagi shrunk a bit lower into her seat. She felt Naru’s absence heavily. Naru would have smiled at her and made her feel better about it.

 

“ _Usagi._ “ The sandy-haired boy in his grey school uniform whispered from the seat behind her. The soft hair on her neck stood on end for a second. He was nice and all, but he was really starting to get a bit creepy. “We can review the chapter together later during lunch if you want…” He trailed off.

 

She flinched a bit, which went unnoticed to him. “That’s okay Seijuro. I’ll manage. But thanks.” She mumbled back in the lowest voice she could muster.

 

“USAGI!”  Haruna boomed across the class again and Usagi hunched even farther into her chair.

 

L

 

Tuxedo Mask fell on his feet with a grunt, breathing heavily, yet lurched himself back into the air immediately. While doing so, he conjured up a dozen roses out of thin air and let them rain like projectiles into the shrieking Cardian’s skin.

 

It yelped painfully, but with a surge of energy, courtesy of its recent victims, one of whom was still attached to it by a tendon like-antenna, it went back to not being injured at all.

 

Tuxedo Mask had been trying – and failing, to free the poor woman out of its grasp. And with her still in the picture, there was little he could do except poke it with pointy things. Namely roses and canes.

 

He looked wistfully at the wrecking ball, so temptingly near.

 

They were located at a construction site near to the loomingly tall Roppongi Hills Tower, and it was raining in buckets. This, Tuxedo Mask flinched, served to be a great disadvantage tonight. It turned sand, and thus consequently, the entire planes of ground this battle was taking place on, into thick slippery mud, but also, and much more pressing, this Cardian’s powers seemed to be aquatic. 

 

What he wouldn’t give for a more potent weapon at the moment. Struggling – he was out of breath, keeling over from exertion, as this fight had been filling quite a portion of his night already, he pulled the last knife he had with him from the inner pocket of his Tuxedo. It wouldn’t do him any service against the Cardian, of course – these beings seemed to be unharmed by any object forged out of metal, including bullets. The latter having been tested by the police in the beginnings of these Cardian attacks. Nowadays the taskforces came late if at all, and mostly waited around at the fringe of it, barricading itself. He guessed it was mostly for appearance though. Never had a police officer ever managed to harm a Cardian, much less defeat it. Yet there were hospitals filled with those who had tried.

 

In the moment he briefly touched the earth beneath him he honed his senses onto his surrounding area. And especially zoomed in on the woman, still attached to the Cardian at this very awkward angle. _Alive_ , he thought relieved.

 

This didn’t surprise him that much, these beings weren’t out to _kill_ exactly, yet merely to extract (or maybe gather?) energy, leaving their victims sometimes comatose for months. Still though, he feared the day they’d take too much, so he kept checking.

 

He grasped the edge of the scaffolding ahead of him and quickly made his way up to the furthermost finished floor of the skeleton of a building. From this height the antennae of the Cardian couldn’t reach him, unless the thing suddenly decided it could fly (and god he hoped he wouldn’t ever come across one that could.).

 

He took a moment to catch his breath and gather his strength, and then, like Sisyphus rolling his stone up the hill, jumped right back onto the bulky backside of the Cardian, repeating what he had thus far attempted to do for the ninth time this night: Jump on the Cardian, cut the antennae the woman was trapped in, free her in the split second the antennae needed to regrow, bring her to safety and then utilize that handy close-by wrecking ball. That was the plan at least. So far, it had always stopped at jumping on the Cardian, at which he had been encased by those lightening fast antennae himself, using one of his knives to free himself instead of the girl while being whipped through the air and into the muddy ground, and managing to free himself before the Cardian had succeeded in suffocating him by pouring yet more water into the fluid grounds. His knives were lost in the process – metal crumbled very shortly after it had touched the alien skins of the Cardians – and he was back to square one; drenched, heaving, exhausted square one.

 

This time it had to work though. This was his last knife; there were no second chances left.

 

He almost cried with joy when this time he managed to avoid the grasp himself and instead got to cut away at her prison instead of his own. He wrenched her free forcefully – she cried in pain but he had no time to be gentler – and with a strong push saw her tumble into the sluggishly soft mud beneath, while the antennae once again started to encase his lower half. He wriggled himself free in the last possible moment and landed in the mud a few meters away from her. In the corner of his eye he could see her crawl away from the creature, with what seemingly appeared to be all her adrenaline-ridden last reserves of strength and energy.

 

There was no time to bring her to safety as the Cardian roared angrily and attempted to crush Tuxedo Mask with a heavy tendon, sprouting water. So instead he splashed trough the liquid and with a forceful kick hefted himself up towards the platform of the wrecking ball controller. He touched the machine briefly – feeling the currents of electricity spring to life under his command – and the machine whirred to life. He pushed the controllers to move the ball jerkily to his desired direction, holding fast to the platform as gallons of water were sprayed against it, little bolts of electricity exploding from the machine as it was drenched, and then proceeded to push that big daunting red button.

 

With a jerk of heavy chain the Cardian was squished into the concrete wall of the skeleton building. It dissolved into fog, as did the concrete wall it had hit.

 

He half jumped/half fell away from the machine and into the mud below. It was so fluid by now that it felt and smelled like wading through thigh-high masses of sewer-water. The wall of the building continued to crumble, large pieces of concrete falling in the mud, splashing water everywhere and coating everything in dark brown. Just in time he reached the woman, still crawling with her last bits of strength, picked her up bridal style, and jumped to safety with her in her arms.

 

The police force – four SWAT teams, a couple police cars, accompanied by the ever present flourish of media - yelled and rushed in a seemingly controlled manner. They were evacuating the surrounding area – just in case it seemed. He handed the woman over to a very young looking policeman, who seemed to struggle with her weight. “She needs an ambulance, now.” He ordered in an authorative voice. Cameras were flashing around him.

 

He hefted himself up and jumped onto the roof of the nearest building, getting out of sight as quickly as he could. At a dark and quiet street near his neighborhood he let himself fall to the ground, and with a deep, painful and exhausted sigh he de-transformed.

 

With the magic boost the transformation seemed to give him gone he half-collapsed against a lamppost, his sides exploding with pain. He took a few calming breaths and let his energy wash over the pain – just a bit – just so much that he could walk. Then he let his mind reach out to his surroundings, checking where he was, what was near, if anyone noticed him, all without taking one glance or even opening his eyes.

 

He had had this connection to his surroundings as long as he could remember. Even more so, maybe, as Mamoru than as Tuxedo Mask, as the surge of adrenaline usually tended to hinder the expansion of his mind like that.

 

Juuban. He was almost home. He was in a residential area that was very common for the neighborhood but very uncommon for the rest of Tokyo, as he was standing in between family homes that were indeed almost spacious.

 

He pushed himself off of the lamppost and began limping painfully towards the direction that would very soon bring him towards his apartment complex. The limp in itself was a partly conscious decision – he could heal it here and now with little effort, and once he was home safely he definitely would do it immediately, but the woman he had just saved but who he felt he hadn’t saved fast enough didn’t have the luxury of instant well-being either, and so he kind of viewed it as his temporary penance and to remind him to be faster in future attacks.

 

Frowning, he honed his senses to the living things around him. Trees, pets, some stray late night party goers, a jogger, a man in suit beginning his day excruciatingly early, a potted hyacinth on someone’s balcony that hadn’t been watered in a very long time, a cat hissing at a shadow in an alley a few streets behind him, and then beyond that, masses of sleeping people in their beds, a few teenagers still awake doing god knows what, a mewling baby in the arms of a drowsy man, and then farther beyond that, the creaking earth beneath his feat,  earth winding around the roaring gas- and water pipes, and metals and heat even farer beyond that … he let the soft hum of his connection to the world dull and came back to his thoughts, watching his limping feet walk along the small winding streets.

 

Today had been excruciatingly hard. And the Cardian hadn’t even been _that_ strong.  He frowned. It was getting worse.

 

He was startled out of his thoughts suddenly, the connection he felt to _her_ fluttering, even though he’d dulled his radar out. He looked around him. _What would she be doing up and around?_ He worried, alarmed, for a second. When he looked around, expecting to see her distinct hairstyle pop up, his eyes fell on a balcony, the windows dark and peaceful. This must be where she lives, he realized with a start. He knew he shouldn’t, but her concentrated on her a bit further.

 

He couldn’t really explain this. At the beginning he had thought that this bond he felt to the small blonde was just a weird anomaly of his power, an extension of his connection to the world. Yet, whereas his connection to others was more binary – alive, not alive, - and connected to bodily functions such as blood flow, photosynthesis, energy flow, measurable units like that, with her it was _feelings_ he felt. When he first laid eyes on her it hadn’t been strong, not at all, a whisper of what the bond felt like now, but definitely there. And it had grown with his feelings for her.

 

He couldn’t turn her off, much like he couldn’t turn his other sense off, even when he was able to dull his connection with everything else. And, as he had discovered a while ago, his usual connection to the world still applied to her in addition as well, when he zoomed in on her – everything as usual, alive, blood rush, blood sugar count, toxins, all of it there, nothing out of the ordinary. So his earlier theory, that to her, for some reason, his power worked differently fell away, and had to face to fact that this was, probably, something else entirely. Something to do with the fact that he was someone with strange and inexplicable capacities, and that this was the girl who - if he was honest to himself -  he was fiercely in love with.

 

She was sleeping, but not dreaming at this moment. Her breath came slow and peaceful; the wind rustled into her hair from what he could see from here was an open window.

 

With a start, he realized what it was he was doing. He was standing in front of a girl’s house in the middle of night, all but doing the equivalent of watching her sleep. He felt like a stalker, he felt sick of himself.

 

He felt he needed to leave her alone. No more deliberate run-ins in the morning. No picking her out of crowds to force his way into her path. It needed to stop. She didn’t deserve this.

 

L

 

In a different place across the globe, where it wasn’t night yet and the sun was only just beginning to set, Minako Aino made her way across the streets of Bethnal Green, the part of London that had been her home for several years now, completely overloaded with Tesco bags full of groceries, a new duvet and a new litter box, both wrapped in plastic, and a wad of newspapers stuffed carelessly into her backpack.  

 

She reached her building and made it into the elevator just as the doors were closing on a neighbor of hers. He pushed his hand out to the connecting doors and they sprang back, letting her in. She was greeted with a charming smile and a mop of gorgeous chocolate brown hair. He was one of the incredibly cute yet incredibly gay ones from the floor above hers, she realized immediately, and her face fell as it always did when she thought of how unavailable those three hunks in apartment 4D were. “Thanks, Greg.” She smiled at him, and he smiled in return.

 

“Need some help with that, Mina?” He looked pointedly at the masses of bags hanging from and around her body.

 

“That’s sweet of you, but I’ll be fine” She shrugged, “I made it all the way here, didn’t I?”

 

He nodded. “You do realize pets aren’t allowed in this building, do you?” He looked pointedly, if sheepishly, at the litter box she was carrying.

 

Her eyes widened and she looked down on herself and the incriminating yellow plastic box. “OH!” She said a bit too loudly. “No that’s for a friend. She recently adopted a kitten.”

 

“Oh!” Greg smiled in return. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry, just thought I’d point it out so you wouldn’t get in trouble?” The elevator dinged and the doors opened to Minako’s floor. “Anyway,” Greg said to her as she waved her goodbye awkwardly around her baggage. “Don’t forget to show your face for Ethan’s birthday party on Saturday, yeah?” He called after her.

 

“I won’t!” She smiled at him, and the doors closed on him.

 

She fumbled a bit with her keys and the task of not dropping everything in front of her door in the process, and let herself into her dingy, tiny little one-bedroom apartment. She went into her equally tiny kitchen and dropped the bags on her makeshift fold-away table that was still done up from her breakfast this morning and started to unpack. Cans in the cupboard, butter into her small fridge, toast on the table, and so forth. Once all the groceries were put away she went into her room with the rest of her bags and crouched down on her knees in front of her folded old duvet in front of her small twin bed.

 

On it were two tiny little kittens, curled atop each other, sleeping soundly.

 

“Hello my cute little fur balls” She gushed at them and proceeded in picking one of them up – the white one. A boy-kitten, she was sure of it. He yawned, stretching his little mouth as far as he could, pink little tongue peeking out and eyes pressed shut then fluttering.

 

They were as kitten-tiny as they come. When she had brought them to the vet last week he had estimated their age to be two weeks maximum, yet she had had them for close to three months, which still baffled her greatly. She had the feeling it wouldn’t be too wise to share this information, though, so she had kept her mouth shut about it.

 

 She had found them mewling pitifully in the alley behind her apartment one day,  and she’d brought them in with her, fully intend to _not_ keep them and just to make sure they’d be alright. She hadn’t named them at first, so as to not get too close, and after all, pets weren’t allowed in her apartment building, and she didn’t want them to starve should she one day not return from her nightly activities. So she had called them white kitty and night kitty, cause it rhymed and they were black and white, and it felt detached enough for her to still be able to part from them should she give them away.

 

But they were so incredibly small and cute and made these soft little kitten-sounds and reminded her of that video she saw on YouTube a while ago where this tiny fluff of a kitten was purring and mewling at being combed with a toothbrush and how could anyone hand over such little heart-wrenchingly adorable mini balls of love?

 

And now she’d finally bought this litter box, and two little paw shaped cat food trays so they wouldn’t have to eat and drink out of her favorite Japanese ceramic bowls anymore.  And she had started to call them Luna and Artemis, cause it felt right to her, and there was no way she would ever give them away again.

 

L


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

 

L

 

Usagi was in a bad mood. No run in with Mamoru in the morning, Naru still in hospital, Umino still as heartbroken about it as she was, which made her feel even worse about not being able to do anything to save her when she witnessed the whole thing happening in the first place. No sight of Mamoru in the arcade after school as well, and now this.

 

She had just arrived home, her mother was slaving away in the kitchen and her father’s morning paper still lay neatly folded on the couch table. The headline read:  ‘Masked Vigilante saves woman (28), but leaves destruction in his wake’ in bold letters and underneath it, ‘23 resident parties in danger of losing their homes because of careless destruction of adjacent construction site. Building company contemplates pressing charges. See page 3.’

 

She let her schoolbag drop to the floor and snatched up the paper, turning it to page 3, all the while seething about it.

 

How dare they treat Tuxedo Mask as if he had any fault in the destruction a Cardian wields! They all had no idea!

 

She gripped the paper in a death grip, hearing it slowly tear. She thought about that first night a Cardian ever appeared in this city. The night Naru screamed on the phone and she had rushed over to see what was happening to her best friend. How Osaka-san had fainted at the sight of her daughter being attacked and she herself had tried with all her might to _do something about it_ and failed.  Only when the Cardian had turned to her and encased her in those vine-like arms those strange powers in her had reacted, yet not when she had desperately tried to save Naru….

 

And here was someone who actually had the guts to fight against these monsters, and everyone was giving him a hard time about it. How dare they!

 

She let the offending paper flutter to the ground and kicked it a bit for good measure. Feeling bad about treating her father’s things this way she quickly picked it up again though, folded it back up and placed it neatly where she had found it.

 

“I’m going up to my room, Mama!” She called into the kitchen and made her way upstairs. She flopped backwards on her bed and exhaled loudly.

 

She hadn’t seen Mamoru all day…

 

…and it was ridiculous how much it bothered her. She had let her strange sense of him reach out as far as she could all day, trying to find him in the crowds… nothing.

And with him gone for a day she realized how much her thoughts and feelings seemed to revolve around him usually. They bickered and fought when she saw him, but afterwards her heart would flutter and she would think about the encounter – mostly in shame, yes, admittedly – all day.

It felt as though her heart revolved around him. Like she was the moon and he was the earth and she could do nothing but orbit around him.

 _Except when he isn’t around I can’t_ …

She sat up with a start. _What if I never see him again?_ She thought with a pang. What if he moved away, or changed universities so his morning routine had changed or if he had a fight with Motoki and now would never show up at the arcade again… She didn’t even know where he lived.

…but she did know where his university is. If she just found a reason to show up there from time to time? But what would she be doing there? Who was she kidding?

 

She growled in frustration and vowed, should Mamoru show his face ever again, to at least _try_ to not be such a snotty brat to him. First steps and all that…

 

L

 

A whole week had passed and all she’d seen of Mamoru was a fast retreating back on Wednesday when she had – for once – not been late to school, and a glimpse of his black mob of hair after her Jūjutsu class yesterday. She had even run after him, calling his name (although she had no idea what she would have said to him had he heard her) but she’d somehow lost him in the crowd, as if he had simply vanished.

Afterwards, she wasn’t even sure if she’d imagined it.

 

She had been pestering Motoki about Mamoru’s whereabouts, asking him if they’d had a falling out, or if his coffee had somehow turned stale, all the while trying to come off as not actually interested and just curious, which in itself was quite a task for her.

 

So she was left sitting in Mamoru’s usual stool at Motoki’s counter, repeatedly stabbing her milkshake with her straw and moping into her English textbook when suddenly she felt her Mamoru-senses tingling.

 

And just as quickly, he was leaning in on her, bringing his mouth close to her ear. “You’re in my spot, Odango.”

 

She yelped and jumped slightly in her – _his_ – seat, hitting his face with the back of her head in the process.

 

Both of them grunted in pain simultaneously, grabbing at their heads. But instead of giving her hell about it, he just chuckled. To say this unnerved her was a bit of an understatement.

 

“Where have you _been_ this week, Mamoru-baka?”  She growled at him and went back to stabbing her beverage.

 

He raised one eyebrow at her, and took the offending straw out of her grasp by leaning over and taking a sip from her milkshake.

 

“Hey!” She protested.

 

“I might have a concussion. You owe me. “, he winked at her. “Besides, you’re not treating it very nicely anyway.”

 

They were interrupted by Motoki. “ _There_ you are. Usagi-chan has been asking non-stop about you.”

 

Usagi flushed instantly, Mamoru chuckled some more. “Odango. Might it be possible that you missed my charming insults?”

 

“Missed your lame attempts you mean.” She said, gathering her milkshake towards herself. In truth, her heart was hammering again, to think he’d put her straw in his mouth… she tentatively put her own lips around the straw and took a sip, but to her disappointment, it didn’t taste any different than before. Glancing back at him, she caught him looking at her and her straw rather peculiarly.

 

“Where _were_ you though?” She asked again.

 

He shrugged awkwardly. “What do you mean, I wasn’t anywhere.”

 

Usagi blubbered at him. “Ask your shins.” She threw at him. “They haven’t been kicked this week. Where _were_ you?”

 

“Right” He said. “We haven’t been running into each other this week. How odd.”

 

She wasn’t buying it. “But you _ran_ from me. I swear. Only yesterday, in front of my dojo. I _saw_ you.” She glared at him.

 

“Your _dojo_?” He smirked at her. “What do they teach you there, Klutz-Out 101?”

 

“ _No_ ,”  She glowered. “Jūjutsu.“

 

He blinked at that. “Oh.”

 

“Oh?”

 

He seemed to flush a bit. “Well, that actually seems rather perfect for you.”

 

And she blushed, too. “Oh.” Actually, her father had suggested she try herself at it when she had come to him discussing if he would be willing to pay a martial arts class for her after her encounter with the Cardian that had attacked Naru. Her father had been more willing than she would have expected and she had started immediately. So far, she loved it.

 

“Well… manipulating your opponent’s force for your benefit rather than putting your own strength in it… seems really fitting for someone as soft as you…” He trailed off awkwardly, hand running through his shamelessly perfectly mussed hair.

 

She puffed up. “Are you calling me fat?”

 

 He laughed out loud at her. “No. No, I’m not.”

 

“USAGI-CHAN!!!” In the back of the arcade Mamoru could see a sandy-haired boy with glasses as thick as coke bottle bottoms come sprinting towards them in high speed. He stopped in front of them clutching his phone to his chest and puffing.

 

“Umino—“ Usagi started, looking at him bewildered.

 

“It’s Naru. Her mom just called. She woke up! She said we could come see her now.”

 

Usagi’s eyes widened, she looked so relieved, her eyes watering.

 

Right, her friend in the coma, the night this all started. That first night that Tuxedo Mask had had something other to do than breaking into jewelry stores and galas to look for a crystal that might or might not exist, and he’d been too late.

 

He’d felt the tingle of danger, but when he arrived at the scene the Cardian was already gone. It had scared him to death seeing Usagi unconscious on that floor. Healing her had taken him a matter of seconds, as she was actually injured, her energy somehow intact. Her friend Naru on the other hand, there was nothing he was able to do for her, as for the all the other girls he had stumbled upon that night that had fallen victim to the alien monster beforehand.

 

Usagi shrieked, and almost fell off her stool, gathering her things and stuffing them carelessly into her bag. She shoved her half-finished milkshake in front of Mamoru, mumbling “here, drink up.” And grabbed her friend by the sleeve, practically dragging him with her she ran out of the arcade so fast.

 

Mamoru looked after her, and Motoki at him. “I hope her friend will be all right.” He said, frowning.

 

“Naru-chan is a brave girl.” Motoki said. “She will be. I have no doubt.”

 

Mamoru switched seats, moving into his usual one which Usagi had just vacated, briefly reveling in the fact that the warmth still lingering on it was hers, and cradled her milkshake. Motoki placed his usual black cup of coffee in front of him anyway. Behind him, to the ceiling, there was a small Flat TV screen flickering, showing the news. They were discussing Tuxedo Masks latest failings as a protector of this city. He sighed. Last night had been tough again.

 

In slow, defeated movements, Mamoru took a large text book from his bag, not even bothering to check which one it was, let it noisily flop on the table and turned a page.

 

“So, where were you?” He hadn’t realized Motoki had remained standing in front of him.

 

Mamoru ran his hand through his hair, agitated. “I thought I’d leave her alone for a while.”

 

“And why would that be?”

 

He sighed deeply. “I’m crowding her too much as it is.”

 

Motoki shook his head at him, rolling his eyes. “Seriously. I don’t get why you won’t just _tell_ her. Instead you keep pushing her buttons. Are you twelve? Seriously Mamoru.”

 

“I wouldn’t be good for her.”

 

Motoki raised his eyebrows. “Because a dedicated, hardworking and conscientious doctor-in-the-making is somehow unworthy how?”

 

“You wouldn’t understand.” He sighed.

 

“Is this because of your parents?” Motoki asked carefully. “Are you afraid to let her in?”

 

“No.”

 

“Then what.” Motoki asked.

 

“I wouldn’t be good for her.”

 

Motoki gave a long, defeated sigh.

 

“Besides, you said it yourself. I only push her buttons. I’m this brooding, moody thing. She’s practically sunshine.” He said. “What would she want with me?”

 

Motoki shook his head. “You don’t give yourself enough credit, Mamoru.” He said, but let the subject drop.

 

And then again, it wasn’t as if they’d been through this subject countless times ever since - about a year ago - Mamoru had caved and admitted to Motoki that yes, he wasn’t just _randomly_ turning into this strange person whenever she was around and that _no_ , he didn’t come here practically every day just because a noisy establishment frequented by Juuban’s High School Population was just _the_ best place to study in peace every day.

 

And it was the same all the time anyway. Motoki would point out that he was sure Usagi had ‘a thing going for you, too, you know?’. Which he knew, at least partly, he wasn’t blind, and anyway, he could tune in into her feelings, so he knew her heart would speed up too when they were close and she’d get nervous and flustered. Still, she was a High school girl, he was reasonably attractive, and High school girls tended to have crushes. He even bet that he himself was the man she saw most often, if ‘accidentally’, and if counting out her father. And if he remembered his Psychology Introduction course in his last year at fancy Azabu well enough, mere exposure was also able to make someone crush on someone else as well, simple as all that. The fact alone that she obviously had no intention to act on it was proof enough for him that her well-deserved irritation about the way he acted with her outweighed any feelings she might have for him.

 

He on the other hand, was dreaming about her-following her-head over heels in love. It was unhealthy, it was obsessive, it would be too much on her and she didn’t deserve this.

 

He’d only managed a week away though. Apparently cold turkey was a bit too hard. All week he’d had flashbacks to their daily bickering. So his new resolution was: Cut out the morning run-ins, keep the arcade. That should be ok, right?

 

He sighed.

 

The first time he had seen her, all this time ago, he had been sure his consciousness had conjured her up straight out of his dream. She resembled her so… She felt so much like her. Later though, once he had understood what these feelings for her were, he thought maybe it was the other way around. Now that he was in love with Usagi, had maybe fallen for her that very first second, the image of his dream princess might have just changed to resemble _her_ , and he now only imagined she’d looked like Usagi all along.

 

He wouldn’t dare to act on it though. She was pure sunshine, drawing people in. She deserved someone happy, … carefree like her.

 

Usagi, he felt, behaved a bit like Tenderheart Bear. Was someone mean, sad, broken, depressed: Care Bear Countdown, Care Bear Usagi preparing for duty. It needed love, lots and lots of love, an extra pinch of sunshine and a few rainbows of joyful Usagi-cheer, and she was always ready to bestow it upon anyone who needed it the most; her way of winning against evil ghosts. Or Sadness, whichever she was currently championing against. Anyone in her vicinity loved her for it, everyone in her vicinity seemed to need her for it.

All he had to offer on the other hand was the occasional brooding fits, and a boyfriend that sneaked out from at her at night to live a secret identity. There was always the chance one of these night was his last, if he wasn’t alert and quick enough. He wouldn’t submit her to the possibility of a relationship with someone she would find dead on the news one day.

 

Also, where he was, there was danger. She could just as well be dragged into one of his battles. And this he would never let happen.

 

Not that he’d think he’d ever _truly_ have a chance with her anyway, at least not in the long run. Who would want a cynical, brooding mess like he was most of the time? Definitely not someone as beaming as her, surely…

 

L

 

 

 

“U-sa-giiiii” Shingo whined behind her, distracting her from the very life-important decision of whether to buy macadamia nut brittle white chocolate or brownie fudge caramel ice-cream.

 

She huffed at her brother. “Well which one would _you_ think we should get?” She asked exasperated. Their shopping cart was already overflowing, and in truth, they had pretty much already everything in it that had been on her mother’s list.

 

“I don’t care. Just take both. Can we just _go_ now?” He pulled at the cart in annoyance.

 

Her eyes lit up. She hadn’t thought about the possibility of taking _both_ yet. Happily, she shoved them both into the cart, and added yet another pint of cookie dough ice cream and strawberry swirl just out of spite and because she could.

 

They pushed the cart towards the cash points, Shingo made sure they took the way through the isle of cleaning products instead of the snack isle so he’d at least stand a chance to be back home in time before his currently favorite anime was due to air. “I swear if I miss Attack on Titan because of you, _again_ —“

 

“Usagi-chan!” A voice behind them exclaimed happily. They both turned.

 

Behind them in line was Seijuro, with a pretty much empty basket filled with various assorted teas hanging from his elbow.

 

“Uh…. Hi.” She said awkwardly.

 

Truth be told, it made her kind of nervous seeing Seijuro here. The supermarket was really close to her home and the idea that he’d know where she lived kind of unnerved her.

 

She shook her head, ashamed of the thought. Seijuro wasn’t a bad guy. It wasn’t his fault she wasn’t interested. And it certainly wasn’t a reason not to be nice to him. In a parallel universe, she thought, they might even be dating. One that she wasn’t already so desperately crushing on Mamoru in…

Thinking about him, she imagined for a moment she felt him around somewhere, but it was gone as quickly as it came. She shook her head. Seijuro was talking, and she hadn’t been listening to him at all.

“—could help you carry all these things home if you wanted, Usagi-chan. You two are surely going to struggle with all of this. Is this your little brother, Usagi-chan? I didn’t know you had one!”

“Um…” By the time Seijuro had stopped for breath, Usagi and Shingo were next in line and the cashier lady had started beeping their products across the till. “That’s quite alright, Seijuro. We brought more than enough bags with us, we’ll be fine. Thanks for offering…” She said, feeling a bit lame. Shingo was looking at her with a clearly annoyed look, as if saying, ‘hey, if he’s _offering_ ’…

“That’ll be 10179 Yen, dear customer. “ The lady in front of the till said in a sweet little voice.

Usagi struggled for the cash, handed the lady a wad of bills and thanked her profusely. She and Shingo packed their groceries into their large bags, while Seijuro paid for his tea packs. Coming way too close to her for her liking, he joined them and helped her pack the rest of the products, all the while touching her on her arm, or the small of her back.

Seijuro was beginning to make her feel really uncomfortable, so she moved to the other side of Shingo. Come to think of it. Seijuro had been making her feel uncomfortable for a while now. He had been so nice in the beginning, when they had just transferred to her school. But his constant advances on her were making her furious. Couldn’t he read the _signs_?  

 

She didn’t really know what to do about him. She didn’t want to be impolite. And what if she misunderstood the whole situation after all? It would be so embarrassing… And she really didn’t want to hurt his feelings; he was still a nice kid after all. His only fault was basically that he wasn’t Mamoru and that he couldn’t take a hint. But he kept getting into group work with her, playing to her on his flute in the middle of school, following her around and not leaving her alone…

 

With a small twitch, she jerked upwards, a small shiver running down her spine. _There it is again_. Mamoru. He _was_ around somewhere… Bewildered, she looked around.

 

Outside, people were starting to scream and run around frantically. Everything was getting loud and chaotic, really fast and really sudden.

 

She let the bag drop back into the shopping cart and pushed it further back into the shop, grabbing Shingo by the arm. He was staring at her with wide eyes. “You wait here for me, do you hear me? I’m gonna take a look if it’s safe for us to go outside.” She said to her brother. And he, as he always did when things got rough, listened to her for once and only nodded vehemently. Sometimes she was his big sister to him after all.

 

 She rushed outside, Seijuro concerned at her side. “Usagi-chan, don’t, you could get hurt.” He grabbed at her arm, trying to pull her back inside, but she shook him off. _Mamoru is here somewhere_. She thought. He might be in danger…

 

Outside, she saw, all hell seemed to have broken loose.

 

One of these monsters – the media called them Cardians and so did she – which seemingly looked like some kind of lavender colored humanoid lion with fangs, was spinning a wheel that seemed to be made up of pure light.

 

Soft tendrils that looked as if the material it was made of were dragonfly wings - soft, webby and translucent - were extending to various people lying on the ground. Others, so many others, were running around screaming, frantic. One of the tendrils was crawling through the air towards her. Seijuro kicked it back, and for a small moment it looked as if his eyes were glowing he glared so hard and the tendril evaporated in front of her. She shook her head. What was happening here?

 

 _And where’s Mamoru. I can_ feel _he’s here_ …  

 

With a start, she noticed something else. There was Tuxedo Mask, right in front of her, a couple meters away. He was yelling at people to move away already, and with horror she noticed he was bleeding heavily and clutching his side.

 

He sported what looked like a huge bite wound. The flesh on his side was maimed, ripped out and bleeding freely, his Tuxedo completely ripped away on his side. She drew in a shocked breath, and for a second, a miniscule second, he met her eyes above the crowd and frowned.

 

 _Somebody help him._ I should _help him…_

She froze, and was dimly aware of the fact that Seijuro was yanking at her to take her away from the scene, and that Tuxedo Mask had turned back to the Cardian and was attacking it with his cane, trying to trap it and obviously trying to smash the lion creature’s teeth.

 

Seijuro had simply picked her up then and carried her back inside against her will. She hadn’t even struggled. A moment later, she heard Seijuro curse loudly at the same time in which obviously - she hadn’t seen what, being inside and all and turned away from the sliding doors - Tuxedo Mask had succeeded in evaporating the Cardian. She turned around full circle, only to catch a last glimpse of his back, holding his side, running from the scene just as the ambulances arrived.

 

“—okay, Usagi-chan? Do you hear me? Usagi-chan! I will take you and your brother home now.” She heard Seijuro then.

 

“No!” She said, shaking out of it. Shingo was back next to her with the cart. Or rather, she was where the cart was somehow. Seijuro must have dragged her there. “Uh… I mean, you get home safely, please. Tuxedo Mask has stopped it, see? We’re safe. You don’t need to walk us.”

 

She hefted the largest bags across her shoulder and handed Shingo the two smaller and lighter ones. “See, we’re all good to go.”

 

 

“Usagi-chan, I _will_ bring you home now, you’re completely shaken—“ He started, stern and frowning, but Usagi interrupted him.

 

“I said no.” She glared at him. And he fell silent. “Come Shingo.” She said and took him by the hand. He nodded and followed.

 

Feeling bad about the whole thing, she shook her head and turned back to Seijuro. “Thanks though, Seijuro.” She said sheepishly, and he smiled. “See you tomorrow at school.” She smiled at him, softly, feeling bad about her behavior.

 

Once she had finally gotten home – her parents had been frantic, fussing about them, her father being a newspaper editor of course had learned of the incident immediately – she flopped on her bed.

 

She had a weird feeling in her stomach. She felt as if she should have stepped in.

 

L

 

To Mamoru it seemed Usagi had been having the best of weeks, before the incident yesterday. Ever since that boy had dragged her out of the arcade she seemed to be on a constant, bubbly high. Her friend Naru, she had said the other day at the arcade, was getting better and better and recovering fully and could go back to school next week. Her smile had been so infectious he hadn’t been able to stifle it most of the time. On the downside though, it meant she was visiting her friend – now at home and no longer hospitalized – after school more often than going to the arcade. Combined with the fact that he had sworn off the deliberate morning run-ins, it meant he was seeing her less and less these days.

 

So it had thrown him to see her last night at the battle scene, scared and shocked, her bubbly energy evaporated. But she was safe. And that was most important.

 

He had resumed to starting his day early again, so as to avoid her in the mornings, yet Usagi, on some days now, had apparently taken up a very new habit of her own, which he’d never witnessed on her before: getting up on time. This frustrated him, and made him also really giddy most of the time.

 

Another side appearance of being up and about at earlier times again though, was that that red-haired classmate of Usagi’s – he kept forgetting her name – had started continuously following him around again, just like she had a couple months previously. In the beginning he’d still tried to stay polite, nodding and mhming when appropriate. Now he just took his book out and read while she talked on, hopping along beside him.

 

“—like books, too, Mamoru-san, maybe one day we could go to the library together, my—“

 

Usagi had been lost in thought, walking up towards the entrance of the park and its descending small stairway when she realized Mamoru was nearby. She looked up and stopped dead in her tracks. From the corner of her eye, seeing him absentmindedly ascend the staircase, she had a flash of something – a memory of one of her dreams maybe – and to her it felt like the silhouette of Endymion, her regular dream main cast and whom she usually only saw shrouded in fog and shadow, had stepped out from her imaginary landscapes and been walking towards her. Her breath hitched, and for a second she imagined Mamoru’s eyes glinting golden when he looked up and smiled at her.

 

 _Yeah, right_ , she thought. Well, she didn’t see Mamoru as often these days. No wonder her mind was trying to merge him with her dreams?

 

She was so bewildered due to this temporary illusion her mind had seemed appropriate, she had thought a step where there wasn’t one and thus stumbled over absolutely nothing in her path.

 

He caught her strongly by the forearm before she had the chance to fall, though, dropping his book in the process.

She blushed and went to pick up his book, while he shook his head exasperatedly and chuckled at her. “Really, Odango. You’re tripping over _air_ now?”

Usagi rolled her eyes at him and handed him the book with pursed lips and an annoyed sigh.

“How rude, Usagi. Shouldn’t you at least be grateful to Mamoru-san? You could have broken your neck falling down these stairs.”

She hadn’t even noticed someone walking next to him, so her head whipped over towards the new voice in utter confusion. “Oh. Hi, Natsumi.” Then she looked around, irritated. “Aren’t you walking in the wrong direction? School is this way.”

 

Natsumi laughed loud and obnoxiously, narrating at length and in great detail why she had had to take a detour and how she’d met Mamoru on her way and decided to keep him company, but he didn’t listen to her at all. On stumbling, some of Usagi’s golden hair had tangled in his hand, and her arm, which he had loathed to let go, had seemed so very fragile in his hand. He felt utterly ridiculous about how the small contact threw him. _Cold turkey my ass…_

 

“Are you going to be at the arcade later on?” He asked her, completely interrupting Natsumi  mid-speech.

 

“Umm… I think so.” Usagi flushed.

 

He nodded slowly, losing his nerve. “See you later, then.” He mumbled more to the floor than to her and retreated fast towards his original direction. Behind him, he could hear Natsumi yelling after him that she might be at the arcade, too, later, and what time does he usually arrive there? But he tuned her out again.

 

His control was slipping, he knew it, and there was so little he could do about it.

 

The rest of his morning went by in a blur. He had arrived at the library and handed in his due books, went up to his usual spot on the third floor where nobody except him ever studied, as the copy machine in the next room was so loud, yet to him it meant solitude. He read until his class started at 10:15 and afterwards followed through the motions in his biochem study group, yet his heart wasn’t in it. Even if he hadn’t been thinking about a certain blonde, he was still dead-tired from last night’s battle.

 

When he arrived at the arcade he could already see Usagi hammering away on the Taiko drum machine game - Taiko no tatsujin - on her own. He knew Usagi loved to game and spent hours on it sometimes, even though it was laid out for two. He always felt this all-consuming itch to just join her yet instead ended up making fun of the game after all – which was, he had to admit, way too easy to fake, as the song Usagi usually played on it over and over and over again was one he hated with a passion – Ponponpon by Kyary Pamyu Pamyu, loudest bubblegum J-pop music one could imagine.

 

Which was the exact song she was hammering away to at this exact moment. He rolled his eyes.

 

“You know Odango, if you were just as invested in your school work as much as in this stupid song, you’d be winning prizes left and center.”  He said, leaning on the game machine next to hers.

 

She threw one of the sticks of the second drum towards his general direction without looking at him. Seeing how they were attached to the machine though they instead dropped unsuccessfully to the side of the machine having done no harm at all.

 

Having been distracted though, she’d mis-tapped and thus lost her perfect streak. She growled at Mamoru and the game and dropped the drumsticks unceremoniously. “Argh, Mamoru-baka, that was my best round yet you jerk!” She hissed, he laughed.

 

They both went towards the bar, and, being a moment quicker, Usagi plopped down into his usual stool with a triumphant look and a ‘HA!’ that she threw at him and he only rolled his eyes and settled in next to her.

“Besides,” she started, “What do you know how much I do for school anyway.”

“I saw you do your homework on a napkin once.” He deadpanned, one eyebrow raised at her.

She huffed. “That might have been an art project for all you know.”

“Right.” He said. “With math equations on it.”

“Hello to you, too, Mamoru.” Motoki said, setting his coffee cup in front of him.

He mumbled a greeting back at his best friend and then Usagi proceeded to wrap Motoki up in conversation. Behind Motoki, as always, the news was on. He let it distract him once the news reporters started talking about Tuxedo Mask’s last night’s sightings.

He sighed a bit. Hearing about it made him feel the fatigue he felt in his bones more consciously.

 

Usagi noticed him slump a bit. “I saw that last night.” She said to both of them, gesturing at the TV screen.

 

“You did?” Motoki said. “Was it as chaotic as they say it was?”

 

Mamoru perked up at that.

 

“No.” She said. “Tuxedo Mask had it under control as always. Thank god we have him.”

 

Mamoru smiled into his coffee cup, taking a sip.

 

“But he did take quite a beating. I really hope he’s alright.” She said, worrying her lip.

 

“Do you like him? Tuxedo Mask?” Motoki smiled at her.

 

“I’d jump him.” She said with a straight face, then, realizing what she’d said, blushed heavily.

 

Mamoru choked on his coffee and coughed heavily.

 

Usagi, still flushed, waved her hands erratically. “But only in a fan girl sense of course. I don’t know him. So I probably wouldn’t.” She rushed, and blushed even harder.  “Besides … I like someone else.” She mumbled.

 

His face fell.

 

“Oh?” Motoki said, looking more at Mamoru than Usagi. “Who do you like?”

 

Mamoru sent him a fierce glare.

 

“It doesn’t matter.” She said towards her hands that were currently placed quite nervously in her lap. “It’s not like I have any luck in that department anyway.” She sighed.

 

L

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! ^^


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 

L

 

With a hammering heart and a fearful gasp Usagi jerked awake. One hand flew to her racing pulse and she blinked several times, looking at her alarm on the nightstand beside her.

 

5:45, the blinking red number told her.

 

She closed her eyes and willed her wildly beating heart to calm down.

 

Her dreams were so much more vivid in the days after she’d seen a Cardian. It had been like this the first time she’d seen one as well.

 

Just like the little flutter of warmth and lightness, of _power_ , that she could feel in her gut so much more intensely after every encounter. As if something inside her was trying to break forth, more forcibly than she’d ever experienced it to before in her life.

 

And it wasn’t like she hadn’t witnessed that light expelling from her body before…

 

She shook her head, trying to clear it.

 

She balled her hands into fists and closed her eyes, willing the images of her dream back into her mind’s eye before they were completely gone from her memory.

 

The marble, the satiny feel of the softest of white cloth, blue orb in the sky over fields of ashen grey, pale water gleaming like ice from tall pillars, a dance, soft lips on hers, silence, weightlessness…  a sword plunged deep into her abdomen, blood pooling around her, staining silver strands of hair a deep red. A voice, female, calling to her; a warrior, blonde, beautiful, crying. _Sailor Senshi_ , her mind whispered to her. And then this other part of her dream, the fog, the cold, so different from the first one although it felt the same. Endymion in front of her. A silhouette, yet she knew it was him, as if somehow in this dream she knew who he was.

 

Always these dreams…

 

She looked up to the sky through her slightly opened window. The sight of the moon helped her calm down, as it always did.

 

These dreams were the oldest memories she had of her life. She had always had them.

 

She lay back down and tucked the comforter tightly over her shoulders, shivering a bit in the moonlight.

 

Her thought went back to Endymion, and then flew to the image of Mamoru this morning. The way he’d walked up these stone stairs in the park… for a moment in her mind the stone had been marble, his fancy dressy dark shirt replaced with fancy dressy dark armor in her head.

 

And then, unbidden, her thought flew to Tuxedo Mask. The bloody gash in his side…

 

She shivered a bit, this time not from the cold. She hoped so much he was alright… There _had_ to be a way for her to _learn_ ….

 

Her eyes still closed, she scrunched her face up as tight as she could, holding her breath, trying to concentrate, trying to reach inside herself and take a hold of the light she knew was in her.

 

 _Nothing_. As Always.

 

She sighed. It happened when she was attacked, it never happened when she willed it to.

 

Yet, she _knew_ , deep in her heart, that it was her responsibility to act.

 

And there Tuxedo Mask, fighting the fight Usagi felt was hers to fight, as insane as it might sound even to her.

 

The first time she’d seen him was really fuzzy in her mind. At Naru’s place. One moment he was there when she woke up, the next he wasn’t. She’d thought she’d dreamt him. But then, a few days later, she saw him on the news again. Learned that he was this criminal turned vigilante. That he’d been the guy that had attempted to rob that embassy gala last year, which her father had taken her to, things like that. Now he fought Cardians.

 

She’d gotten kind of obsessed with him over the months, stalking him media-wise. To the point her father was actually beaming at her with pride that she finally came after him and developed an interest in journalism. Not that she hadn’t had phases like that before, when Sailor V started appearing in London, a warrior so much like those from her dreams…. But that was in London, Tuxedo Mask was _right here_ ……

 

Also, he _was_ quite hot. Almost like Mamoru…

 

Well, almost.

 

She looked at the clock again. 6:35. Might as well get up…

 

L

 

Only a few neighborhoods away, a small pale girl with a blue bop of hair in a green and bourdeaux-coloured school uniform signed some papers at the small police station in Juuban.

 

“I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a student as invested as you, Miss Mizuno. Coming over _before_ school to sign these forms….” The small, bold officer laughed at her.

 

Ami blushed a little and gave a small smile. “I only just got admitted into the study group… and they won’t allow me to research the Cardian samples if I don’t have the official clearing from the police department…”

 

He gave a big belly laugh again. “Well, don’t you worry. We’ll be emailing these back to your academy in about, eh…” He glanced down at his wristband. “3 hours, give or take? Then you’re good to go, you clever little scientist. How old were you again?” He looked her up and down.

 

“Sixteen.” She blushed further.

 

He laughed again, incredulously, shaking his head. “Sixteen and already working with the big shots. When I was sixteen I still had my Lego collection. Well, what do ya know, eh?” He chuckled and cuffed her in the side.

She smiled. “Um, thank you for your time, officer Takano. I very much appreciate it.” She bowed deeply, but he came forward and shook her hand instead with both of his.

 

“Just find us a way to deal with these things, yes?” He winked at her.

 

She flushed. “We…. We try our best.” She bowed again and ducked out of the small station, heading straight towards the next Metro station, Azabu-Juuban, and, swiping her Suica card, got on the Toei Oedo Line. It being Tokyo, the train car was packed of course. Rush hour started early in a city that always worked and worked. Her school was very close though, so after two stops she got out again, and walked the now-familiar steps up towards her exit.

 

She’d been attending this school for only a few months yet, as any sixteen year old did having switched from Junior High to High school, but she already felt right at home between all these studious people, even if detached. She didn’t make friends easily, she knew that, but here, at least, nobody made fun of her.

 

She’d spent her last year of Junior High as an exchange student in Germany. There, part of a project called ‘Young International Minds’, she had been allowed to attend university classes next to her school classes at the prestigious Charité Berlin – the oldest university for medicine in the world. She’d learned a lot, once she’d mastered the language (in record time, mind you), and coming back, it had been her entrance ticket into the best school Tokyo had to offer. Even better than Azabu, which had been her goal beforehand –  Infinity.

 

She stepped into the wide and open entrance hall of her school and took the elevator. 1-F: Laboratories.

 

Stepping out she breathed in the smell of formaldehyde and nitrogen in the air. Aomori-senpai was preparing the samples, she saw.

 

“Ah, there you are, Miss Mizuno. Early and eager as always, I see. I trust you already went to sign the paperwork?” A voice asked from behind her and she turned around.

 

Ami blushed again, she wouldn’t get used so soon to be allowed to work with such accomplished scientists. She bowed. “Uh, y-yes, Dr. Tomoe. I did. Thank you so much for this opportunity.”

 

He was kind of handsome, she thought, in a certain way. The peculiar machinery in his glasses for his right eye looking almost crystalline, which fit perfectly to the silver-white of his hair. And, one thing was certain – she never met anyone as invested in his own research than this particular man.

 

“I’m looking forward to see your accomplishments with us, Miss Mizuno. Let me show you your new lab.” He smiled at her. It looked a bit cold, she thought, not touching his eyes, yet she could still feel he was genuinely excited, and so was she.

 

 

 

 

 

 

L

 

Usagi was on the verge of blowing her top.

 

She feverishly tried to think back to their meeting at the supermarket, of something she’d done wrong. She couldn’t think of anything. _If_ anything, she thought she’d been borderline _rude_ to him. Then she’d chickened out and smiled and thank-you’d at the end. Maybe _that_ had been her mistake?

 

Because Seijuro, or so it seemed, was upping his game.

 

In her music class today, they had been assigned to compose small jingles in groups. She’d been teamed up with her classmate Fuyumi, who was as clueless in music as she was, so they were having a hard time with that assignment. Meanwhile Seijuro had done his assignment alone. And it wasn’t a jingle. When their music teacher had asked for volunteers to show their work Seijuro has come forward, taken out his flute, and announced the title. ‘Beautiful Usagi-chan, please be mine’ he’d named the effin’ thing and then played something close to a symphony for all she knew. Everyone had stared at her, and she’d shrunk in her seat, embarrassed as all hell.

 

In English then, he’d written her a poem. Which, of course, why _wouldn’t_ he, he also read out loud to the whole class. She’d only understood half of it, obviously, yet _what_ she’d understood had turned her ears bright red. ‘ _Your soft-swelled bosom, hair spun from gold, angel oh angel_ ,’…. Yeah, like that. Half the class had started laughing, the other half had proceeded to patting her back sympathetically whenever she came across them in the hall afterwards.

 

In P.E. – once per week they had it co-ed – he had, _of course_ , picked her for his team first, although everyone knew how rubbish she was at soft ball, and then praised her every missed catch as if she’d won the Nobel Prize.

 

By the end of the school day she was near tears in anger. And that although she’d so looked forward to this day of school for once: It was Naru’s first day back.

 

Naru, for her part, had been as bewildered about Seijuro’s behavior as she was. She’d kept turning around to Umino, asking if she _really_ hadn’t missed something important that she should know here?

 

And due all to all this ruckus with Seijuro during the whole day, she hadn’t even been able to really spend as much time with Naru as she had wanted to, as both of them had continuously been crowded by every classmate they’d ever talked to – asking Usagi if she and Seijuro were dating now or what was happening here, and crowding Naru how she was doing, and if she really didn’t hear anything while she was in her coma, and how it was to be drained by a Cardian.

 

She had to hand it to Naru – she took the nosy questions in stride. If anything, Naru seemed a bit proud of having been so fast in her recovery, and liked to talk about it, and the Cardians in general. This was all very new to her after all – having slept through the whole media frenzy since day one and all.

 

Umino had taken Naru home then after their last class – he hadn’t left her side all day and probably wouldn’t for the foreseeable future -, leaving Usagi to run from school on her own as quickly as she could as to avoid being followed by her unwanted suitor.

 

And she was _so_ angry.

 

L

 

He felt her enter the arcade, of course, even though he didn’t look up from his biochemistry tome. He himself was sitting at the counter, his trusty cup of black coffee next to him that Motoki had provided him with immediately and unasked for upon arrival and then continuously kept refilling, just as he always did. His hand, previously busy jotting down notes, now stilled.

 

She came in like a hurricane, fuming, shouting for her _‘Motoki-onii-san’_ on the top of her lungs upon entering, barely through the sliding doors, to explain to her _, please_ , why boys behaved the way they did.

 

He took his cup to his mouth for the sole reason to smirk into it and not at her. This, her complaining about boys, he could enjoy. All those times she talked fondly of any one of them on the other hand…

 

She let herself fall heavily into one of the stools near his – leaving one lone stool unoccupied between them – , extended her ridiculously slender and smooth arms over the counter and grabbed an innocent and rather unexpecting Motoki by the collar and shook him, exasperatedly, demanding an answer. Motoki’s hands flew up helplessly, as if to say, _‘Spare me, I’m innocent!’_ and tried to soothe her antics with sweet nothings. Mamoru’s hand tightened with a pang of jealously for just a second, the gesture seemed so intimate.

 

The thought distracted him, momentarily, because he wished so very much she could treat him with the same amount of trust and familiarity, but then again _, ‘onii-san’_ wasn’t exactly what he would want her to call him either…

 

“Ehh…. Something happened, Usagi-chan? Do you want to talk about it?” Motoki stammered, and gently shook her hands off his collar, only to proceed arming himself with ice cream instead as a peace offer, lest she attack him again.  The sight was rather endearing.

 

“Aww, Odango. Did the boys say you have cooties again?” Mamoru couldn’t help it. He just couldn’t. And of course she couldn’t disappoint, being as furious as she already was, and thus she turned to him in her obvious man-hating wrath, not at all unsurprised to notice him next to her, or at least she wasn’t letting on.

 

She growled, Motoki groaned. “Not this again, you two, please? There’re kids here?” Motoki pleaded at them, being pretty much ignored, at the same time that Usagi exploded in his face.

 

“I’M NOT A PRESCHOOLER YOU JERKFACE CAN’T YOU TAKE ME SERIOUSLY FOR *ONCE* YOU CONCEITED LITTE---“ She trembled, her face flushed, she practically jumped in his face, and he didn’t have a shred of decency left in him that prevented him from enjoying the whole thing wholeheartedly. He smirked.

 

“KIDS! THERE’RE KIDS!” Motoki interrupted her again.

 

She stopped in her tirade and started to deflate. He couldn’t have that of course, so he riled her up again. “Why Odango, as this is _such_ mature behavior you’re displaying again today, of _course_ I shall treat you like the adult you are from now on.” He snickered down at her, eyes blazing with humor.

 

She puffed up again, all the while Motoki was still trying to go between them (“No, Mamoru, _please_ , don’t—“) and he grinned at her, looking forward to round two, when her shoulder unexpectedly slumped, her whole demeanor changed, and she sat down again.

 

Huh, he hadn’t seen that coming.

 

Suddenly nervous, he didn’t say anything to her anymore, and looked at her sideways, then unsurely down at his book again. She had propped her face up on the table. Motoki, obviously bewildered at her reaction as well, exchanged a worried glance with him over her head. Trying to shake her from the suddenly sad expression, Motoki placed her usual in front of her: a big foamy milkshake; Oreo, as it was Wednesday. It almost touched her nose, as her chin was still resting on her hands.

 

She didn’t react with the excited squeals she usually greeted sweet beverages with – food usually always distracted her from any worry– and after a short while of silence she mumbled, “Is that why he won’t take no for an answer? Does he not take me seriously either?”

 

His hands clenched around his cup again and his head flew up to look at her. Did something happen to her? Did someone… _I swear if that blonde little prick that was with her at that supermarket the other day did something to her, I’ll—_

 

Motoki crouched a bit lower so he could look her in the eyes. “Usagi-chan, is everything ok? Do you need help?” He said at the same time that Mamoru ground out a dangerously low “ _Who_ —“

 

Usagi straightened in her stool and her right hand flew to the side of her face. She looked sheepish. “Oh, no no no, Motoki-onii-san, it’s not that bad, really. I’m overreacting.” She babbled, fast.

 

Neither of the boys looked convinced, which she seemed to have noticed. She gave Mamoru a curious look and continued talking – mostly to Motoki. “There’s just this boy from school. He treats me a little like Umino used to? Following me around all the time? Just that he does it _all_ the time. Wherever I go there he is. And he keeps trying to flirt with me, and brings me stuff, and … well, things like that? It’s not really that bad. It’s just a bit much right now, and tomorrow it’ll be ok again I’m sure, just… It’s unnerving?” She smiled sheepishly.

 

Then she exhaled and continued. “ And I wanted to be nice in the beginning so I was polite and well... I don’t want to hurt his feelings, I guess, but now he never leaves me _alone_ , no matter what I _do_ , and…” She scratched her head and scrunched one eye shut, cocking her head sideways. “… what should I do?” She asked, a tiny bit of a wail in her voice.

 

Mamoru’s shoulders sagged. He suddenly felt a deep shame. Wasn’t this exactly what he did as well? Following her around? An image of the other night, when he stood in front of her window, wondering how she looked when she slept flew guiltily to his mind _. I’m an asshole. I’m a stalker._ He thought dejectedly.

 

If she hadn’t specified she knew this boy from school, he wouldn’t have been surprised if she’d been talking about him. But what more could he do? He already stopped deliberately letting her run into him in the mornings to the point of actively trying to avoid her, as much as this weird magnetism still seemed to put them together frequently however much he tried. She just was _everywhere_ – that surely wasn’t his fault, was it? And this was where his only friend worked, it wasn’t his fault she frequented the same spots as he did, was it? _You could stop insulting her just so she would pay you attention and maybe touch you accidentally…_ his mild supplied him, and he cringed at it.

 

Motoki looked at Usagi pointedly.  “Well you _have_ actually told him no, right?”

 

“I tell him no all the time!” She exclaimed.  “’Seijuro I don’t need your help with this, Seijuro I’d rather do this assignment with Umino, Seijuro, no you don’t need to play your flute for me…’” She recited.

 

Motoki gave her a look. “So you haven’t actually told him you don’t like him.”

 

Usagi blinked at him. “Well, that would hurt his feelings. I don’t want to hurt his feelings.” She said, talking to him slowly as if she was confused why he wouldn’t understand this. Mamoru chuckled at that. That was so typical of her…

 

“Usagi-chan you have to!” Motoki almost yelped. “He’s a boy, he won’t understand otherwise!”

 

“…but… but…” Usagi began shaking her head wildly, exasperatedly. “That’s so stupid! Why should I be forced to treat people in a way I wouldn’t want to treat them or be treated myself just because obviously he’s entitled to me unless I get out the sledgehammer?” Her voice rose.

 

Motoki swallowed, blinking. “Um… if you put it like that…”

 

“It’s so unfair! It’s not like… like..” She huffed, rushed and excited.  “Well, girls react differently when they like you.” She looked at Mamoru for a second and then blushed. “He should know that. He’s not four. I shouldn’t be forced to teach him.”

 

Motoki thought for a moment. “Well, how do you reckon you _would_ react when you do like someone.” He asked her.

 

Both Motoki and Mamoru looked at her expectantly and she flushed and stammered.

 

Mamoru cringed.  “She probably wouldn’t insult a guy she likes all the time. Or manhandle him” He’d meant as a joke, but it came out kind of… sad?  

 

“NO!” Usagi turned crimson and yelled “No… Well. …” and then fell silent for a moment, looking at Mamoru sideways but talking to Motoki. “… I would be nervous in their presence and thus react weirdly. And I wouldn’t politely say no to everything they suggested we do.”

 

They fell silent for a while, until Usagi broke it. “Also… I don’t like the way Seijuro sits.”

 

Motoki shook his head at her. “You don’t like the way he _sits_?”

 

“Yeah... He sits with his knees really wide apart, like this—” She said, demonstrating it for a second, brushing her knee briefly into Mamoru and then closing her legs again. “He takes up all the space, like he owns it. Even if there’re people who need space next to him, like on the bus. It’s impolite. And he doesn’t even realize he does it.  I don’t like it.”

 

Mamoru quickly glanced down at his legs. They weren’t far apart at all, but he still snapped them shut completely, and then shook his head, irritated with himself.

 

“Well, okay then.” Motoki said. “So we need a way for you to deal with the situation without having to be rude to him, yes?”

 

Mamoru grumbled. “You don’t seem to have a problem being rude to _me_ …”

 

“Your ego would explode if I wouldn’t regularly put you in your place, Mamoru-baka, that’s different.” Usagi blushed. “It’s basically civil service. I’m keeping you down to earth so people will still talk to you.”

 

“Ah, I see.” Mamoru laughed.  “So you’re impaling me with sharp objects and sharp elbows all the time for the good of the _world_. How did I not notice _that_?”

 

 “Also, it’s because you’re rude to _me_.” She glared.

 

“I’m not rude to you. I just state the obvious. Not my fault you can’t take the facts as they are, Odango.”

 

“ _Arghhhh_ ” Usagi grabbed at her head and Mamoru chuckled at her.

 

“Usagi-chan? Do you need help?” came a voice behind her, and Usagi, eyes growing wide, nearly toppled off her barstool.

 

‘AHH!’ She screeched.  “Seijuro!! Um, no… no I don’t.”

 

“Are you sure, it looks like he’s being disrespectful to you… I could take you home if you want.” He glared at Mamoru fiercely as he said this.

 

She looked at Mamoru pleadingly, willing him to just apologize so Seijuro would go away, and he looked back at her peculiarly.

 

Stepping up next to her and looking deep into her eyes to measure her reaction, he put his hand around her waist, and smiled down at her “ _Are_ you okay, Usako?”

 

The smile he gave her was so warm, so tender, when he said that awfully sweet name to her. He’d never smiled at her this way before and it made her heart flutter.   “Did I upset you too much? I didn’t mean anything by it, I promise.”

 

She froze for a moment, and then, realizing what it was he was doing, brought a shaky arm up to the small of his back, mustered a smile and nodded carefully, her heart on full speed. “Um, yes, of course.”

 

It wasn’t so much was he’d said – all but for this sweet sweet name, he’d spoken the words to her many times before – it was much more _how_ he’d said it. The tenderness in his smile, the way his whole body was bent towards hers, the gentle hand at her waist, careful as not to be inappropriate, yet somehow still possessive in the way his thumb stroked her side tenderly. It threw her. She wished he’d mean it.

 

She turned to Seijuro. “Yes.. Yes, I’m ok, you don’t need to worry Seijuro. It’s good of you to look out for your classmates. See you tomorrow at school?” She threw at him, her tone a bit harder yet polite.

 

Seijuro glared at the hand Mamoru still had around her waist. But nodded curtly, excused himself and then disappeared out the sliding doors.

 

Usagi exhaled softly and stayed silent for a moment. Mamoru had moved away from her, quiet as well, and resumed his position at the counter, cradling his coffee cup as if it protected him.

 

Her heart fell a little. She had no idea why she felt the way she did about this small exchange- it was all she wanted, really. Yet it reminded her of two things: Mamoru wasn’t really hers, and she really much rather wanted to be the person doing the saving instead of being the one saved.

 

She lowered herself into the seat next to him and glanced at him sideways. Motoki had, she only just noticed, disappeared to god knows where.

 

“ _Usako_.”  She said, pronouncing the word slowly, as if testing how it sounded on her tongue. He twitched a bit. “I like that name.”

 

He missed a beat. He hadn’t realized he’d called her that to her face. It was the name he didn’t even dare utter in his mind, let alone out loud, even though he knew how right it felt to him. He blinked. “Uh..” But he trailed off again, not knowing what to answer her exactly.

 

 He took in her silent demeanor then, unsure.  Had he been too forward? “Was that…ok? For you?” He asked her very softly.

 

She jerked her head towards him, as if startled. “Oh, I’m grateful. That was really sweet of you…” she trailed off, scratching her head a little and then sighed.

 

“Just… I just wished the only time he let go quickly wouldn’t be only because there’s another boy involved? … I’d much rather be the hero than the damsel is all, I guess.” She said, feeling awkward.

 

He smiled at her warmly then, almost as warm as he did before, and her heart fluttered once more.

 

L


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

 

L

 

Tuxedo Mask flung himself out of the way just in the last possible second, yet hit the pavement hard. He stood up shakily, blood dripping from a wound on his head into his eyes. His top head lay somewhere in the tree he’d just flung himself away from – as shredded as the trunk of the formerly beautiful bonsai.

 

The Cardian – appearing in some sort of Harlequin-form- was shooting missiles of pure energy.

 

It had started out as a normal attack – lots of people in a park, this time the beautiful and treasured Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden, with its feathery soft yellow patches of grass and it’s manicured cherry blossom trees, shrubs, bridges and tea houses next to carefully looked-after ponds – he cringed whenever a blast of the Cardian destroyed the gorgeous scenery.

 

Yet somehow the way the Cardian had discarded most of the masses of drained people and instead latched onto a particular few, was different than all the times before. He didn’t see a pattern – young and old, male and female, seemingly in pairs, but random. The Cardian had sighed in pleasure, as if _their_ energy were somehow so much more potent than any it had had before.

 

This potency Tuxedo Mask himself felt greatly. This Cardian was stronger than any he had ever encountered before. All he could do was jump out of harm’s way as not to be killed, nothing he did could touch the thing.

 

It had always been random masses of people before. Ad-hoc samples of victims as they come. They hadn’t spared anyone or selected anyone before. Be it masses of students, concert visitors, even babies that one awful time. The way this Cardian now seemed to seek out single individuals unnerved him almost as much as when the victims had been little toddlers. The patterns were changing, and didn’t know what they were.

 

His roses were flung away as if they were nothing else but that – simple flowers and he felt the inadequacy of it. His cane had been burned away in his hands mere minutes ago. All his knives were already gone.

 

Another blast flew at him and this time he was caught squarely by it. It buried him into the ground, cutting off his air immensely. He felt himself being crushed into the ground, unable to reach anything. In the corner of his consciousness, he could sense the energy levels of the Cardian’s victims – two of them very so very low, lower than any victim’s had been before.

 

He felt himself choke, and panic. He thought of Usagi, for a fleeting second, seeing her soft smile in his mind’s eye. Was he dying?

 

He felt around for the two people’s declining energy – getting lower and lower. He couldn’t die, he mustn’t, he had to _help_ them.

 

Somehow, he managed to move his arm. His head was starting to feel light, his vision becoming blurry, and he moved his arm to the side of his body.

 

What happened next baffled him more than his first ever transformation had.

 

From a sheath on the side of his body, one that _wasn’t there_ , he pulled a sword as if out of thin air. He panicked for a bit. _Metal_? What good would _metal_ do? Metal never did _anything_ , he thought, yet, somehow, the sword sliced through the energy as if cutting through the softest of tissue.

 

He looked at it in wonderment, realizing quickly that it _wasn’t_ metal at all. It was deep black, crystalline, a dark obsidian, maybe? The black material shined blue-ish when hit with the light from the streetlamps. The cooler looked, he realized, almost exactly like the color of his hair.

 

It belonged to him, he felt it, as if it had always belonged to him.

 

With newfound energy he held the sword in a way that suggested he knew what he was doing, even though he _knew_ he’d never held a sword in this life. He rushed towards the Cardian. Arming himself with his new weapon, he noticed it turning to a clear crystal that shone golden when he fought with it,  carved signs that hadn’t been there before glowing brightly in its depth when he wielded it as if he’d never done anything else in his life.

 

And after only a few moment of struggle and a piercing shriek of the Cardian, it evaporated.

 

Standing in the aftermath of the battle he panted and turned around. With a sinking heart he realized; he could no longer feel the two people whose energy had been on the brink .

 

They had died.

 

He had been too slow.

 

L

 

Standing in the middle of all this mess, Usagi was walking among the fringes of the park.

 

Media was everywhere. The dark park and streets were flooded by spotlights and reflectors, blinking siren lights illuminating the scene in blue and red, vans with network logos to the side and camera teams in front, reporters interviewing bystanders. On the far side – the view all the cameras tried to catch – she could see two black body bags being transported off the scene.

 

She’d seen the last of the battle enfold, too scared, as always, to act. She had felt the Cardian appear and been drawn to the scene. She hadn’t noticed when the two had died.

 

Somewhere next to her, she could hear what the news lady, camera held into her face, was reading off the prompter in front of her, like she’d heard so many of them in the previous half an hour. ‘How could Tuxedo Mask have let this happen?’  The smartly dressed woman began ominously. ‘Do we really want to leave all our fates in the hand of a possibly dangerous criminal. Is he following a vendetta, uncaring about the victims all around him—‘

 

Usagi turned away, seething. She couldn’t listen to this anymore and walked a bit further away. Relatively close to her, she saw a reporter she recognized, notebook in his hand scribbling away, a second pencil on his ear. He was talking on the phone when she walked towards him, intent to confront him.

 

He brushed her away, not really looking at her until he did, and  then his eyes widened upon seeing her. "Tsukino-san", he said. She thought at first he was addressing her, but then realized he was still talking into the phone, when he continued on. "Your daughter is here! – No, _here_ , as in, in front of me right now."

 

Her father arrived at the scene in record speed, fussing over her, scolding her for lingering at a battle scene yet appreciating her keen eye for knowing where the news were happening. He filled in the gaps for her when she asked, telling her about what had happened, about the young couple that had died here, where they came from, what they were doing when it happened.

 

She couldn’t keep from feeling the deepest guilt she’d ever felt when he talked about them. She should have done something. She had powers, too. If she just knew how to use them, he wouldn’t have to do this on his own…

 

Kenji was leading his daughter away, opening the passenger door of his small Tokyo-appropriate sized car for her, got in himself, and then sighed for a moment before starting the engine.

 

And like all the other reporters on the scene had done, Kenji Tsukino then proceeded on putting the blame on Tuxedo Mask. How he should have been there sooner, how he should have helped evacuate the people first instead of fighting, surely they would have been something he could have done to prevent this. “He has a responsibility!” He boomed, upset.

 

Usagi got mad at her father. As mad as she never been at him. How could he treat the situation as if Tuxedo Mask were to blame for what had happened. She argued with him. “He is _not_ the one to blame.” She growled.

 

“He’s the _only_ one who can deal with these monsters. He should be better equipped to deal with these situations.” Kenji said in a low voice, his eyes on the road in front of him. “He’s responsible for—“

 

Usagi interrupted him, her voice filled with anger. “You’re not supposed to blame the _brave_ people who come to the _rescue_ , you’re supposed to blame the _perpetrator_.” She said, and his father threw her a quick, surprised look through the rearview mirror. “It’s not his fault, he can’t save everyone.  At least he _tries_. At least _he_ steps in…” She trailed off _. Other than me_ , she thought dejectedly, and her anger drained a bit.

 

They were silent for a little while.

“What will Sato-san write in his article then.” Usagi asked a little later.

Her father looked at her sideways for a second. “He will describe what happened.” He said.

“Will he blame Tuxedo Mask, too?”

 

Her father sighed. “Blame is a strong word that will not be mentioned. But he will discuss the repercussions of the neglected responsibility.”

 

Usagi sighed as well and fiddled with her hands. “Would you feel different if it were me or Shingo?” She asked quietly.

 

Another look through the rearview mirror. “That’s exactly what I keep thinking!” He said, a bit more loudly. “That poor young man and woman, what would have been if it were my children. You _frequent_ that park, Usagi.”

 

Usagi turned in her seat a bit to look at her father. They were almost home now. “No. That’s not what I meant. I don’t mean the victims. I mean what if we were the vigilante?” She said softly. “Would you feel differently?”

 

He shook his head as if she was talking utter nonsense. “That doesn’t compare, honey.”

 

“Yes it does.” She murmured. “He is a person, Papa. He could be someone’s husband. He is probably someone’s friend.” She said. “And he is most definitely someone’s son.”

 

He grew silent, thinking.

 

They arrived in front of their house, and before Kenji had finished parking the car, Usagi had already opened the door and dashes upstairs without saying another word to her father.

 

L


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

L

Usagi was exiting the arcade out on her way home. She felt him, of course, before she saw him. 

He was exiting the Azabu-Juuban Metro station in front of her towards the trendy and lively little red-bricked and cobble-stoned shopping and café artery of her home district, and she’d never seen his face so grim before.

And that was saying a lot, he was the king of frowns after all. 

She felt him slow in his step for a moment, as if sensing something. For a wild, illogical moment she thought he might be sensing her as she was him. Nonsense, she thought. No one can do that sort of thing. That’s just me… 

There had been something in his look that was so sad, and she somehow imagined she could feel a sort of… anguish, almost, rolling off of him. So she just did what came naturally to her, and she jogged up towards him, fully intended to cheer him up, or at least offer him an ear or a shoulder, whatever he preferred. 

He stopped again, but didn’t turn. As if he was waiting for her to catch up, she thought, amused. Of course not… 

But he also didn’t seem surprised to see her appear next to him. She had started to think up a customary entrance-insult, but he spoke before she got the chance to. “Oi, Odango…” He said softly.

No biting sound to it today, no accompanying smirk. She frowned. His mood was even lousier than she had anticipated from the slump of his shoulders. 

He looked… defeated, somehow. The thought made her heart clench a bit.

“What’s up?” She asked. He just shrugged his shoulder. Hmmm…

A sudden thought occurred to her that she really didn’t want to dwell on. “Did someone break up with you or something?” Not that she’d ever seen him with any girls, but then again, she didn’t actually know what he did when he wasn’t being tricked into being groped by her or hanging out with Motoki at the arcade…The thought made her look almost as gloomy as him.

“No.” He answered curtly. 

She shoved the relief she felt away, irritated. This wasn’t about her. She wanted to cheer him up… Or at least get him to talk about it. 

He suddenly shook his head. “It’s okay, you don’t need to feel obliged to cheer me up or something” He said, as if having looked right through her. 

She looked up at him surprised. 

“Oh come on, it’s what you do, isn’t it? Shine that irritating beam of cheerfulness – I see you do it all the time.” He mumbled. 

She cocked her head to the side to look up at his profile, having fallen into a comfortable step beside him. “Wanna talk about it?”

A pause. Then a sigh. Then he turned to look at her, took a breath, as if to say something, and then exhaled it again. He looked back again. After a while… “There’s nothing to talk about, really..” He sighed.

She frowned again. He felt… off. Somehow, what she felt flutter around him was a sense, of… failure? Surely that couldn’t be right. He was the star student of one of Japan’s most prestigious universities after all…

Acting on a hunch, she began to talk. “Well… as you so often point out yourself, I’m not a very …accomplished student, as you know.” She started. He looked at her, obviously confused on where she was going with this. “But still, of course, there are the moments where I do really want to get it right, and get so frustrated when I.. forget something, or mess the whole thing up, or.. just simply am not good enough. And then I get so angry and distressed about it, and start beating myself up over it.”

He looked at her, waiting for her to continue, and she did.

“And well, usually my solution is to just not try anymore.” She sighed deeply. “I wish I were more driven, really. But my mom likes to quote this guy to me when this happens who is like some kind of psychologist guru on stress and distress and what it does and such, and you see,” She takes a breath, looking up at him nervously. She didn’t know if this made any sense at all. “Well, he says that these kind of like, ‘stressors and distressors’ are inevitable, and they are wherever we go, and they follow us through every critical moment in our lives, and if we didn’t have that push from that, then we would never improve, we never would feel any kind of drive to change and accomplish what we hadn’t before… “. She trailed off. He nodded, silently.

“Selye.” He said after a while.

“Huh?”

“Selye. That’s the guy your mother quotes.” He said softly. “’Stress is the spice of life’. He also wrote some other really memorable things.”

“Oh.” She replied. There she was trying to tell him something meaningful, but of course he already knew it better than her…

But then he started to talk, quietly. He seemed unsure. “Sometimes I also feel I should be able to do…more.” He looked up and into the distance.

She knew she was imagining it, but the look on his face, the way his body seemed to vibrate… helplessness. But she guessed that was just her. That was exactly what she’d been feeling like every time she read about one of Tuxedo Mask’s battles. And yesterday, those people that died… the guilt ate at her again. She should be able to help. 

Still though, that wouldn’t exactly help him now, would it? So instead she focused on yesterday’s anger she harbored for the news coverage, and it bubbled out of her freely. “Like, take Tuxedo Mask yesterday.” She began, agitated, her voice a little louder now, but failed to see Mamoru stiffen. “And how they all act so righteous about how it is suddenly his sole responsibility to make all the wrongs in the world disappear, and save everybody in one go, and nobody cuts him any slack about it. Although there’s like… only so much one person can do.” She fumed. 

His voice, if possible, became even quieter. “He should though, shouldn’t he? Be able to safe them all? Isn’t it his responsibility?”

She bristled. “Not you, too!” She stopped in front of him and glared at him a bit. “He’s a person for god’s sake. He’s just one guy. How unfair to burden him with all of this just because he happens to be powerful and brave enough to stand up to the bad guys. People should be more thankful to him instead of blaming him. Look at all the people that are still alive because he stepped in. But no, everybody focuses on this poor unfortunate couple and rubs it in his face.” 

“They were a couple?” He whispered almost inaudibly, and she looked at him again, brows knit.

“I at least don’t see anybody else who steps forward and does what he does.” She said a bit harshly. Like me. Then she calmed down a bit and glanced up at him again. His frown seemed to have smoothed over at least a little bit… “Well, as I said. He IS just one person. He can’t be everywhere at once.”

Mamoru sighed deeply and looked to the side, down at her. “Well, maybe he needs a partner then.” His voice had become a little lighter, less tense. 

This made her stumble a bit in her step, breaking them out of their synchronized walking rhythm and he looked down at her again. “Yeah.” She said meaningfully. “I think he does need a partner.” Like ME. If I were just able to control these stupid powers…

She was suddenly very aware of how slowly they were both crawling down the street, which made her feel a bit uneasy. She knew why she did it – she wanted them to not get very far, so he wouldn’t leave very soon. He must think she’s a snail though. 

Also, he was getting lost in thought again, and the lines on his forehead and between his eyebrows were getting deeper again, so she straightened her shoulders, and willed on a cheerful face. “Like Sailor V!” She offered, smiling brightly. “Wouldn’t that be cool, them being partners?”

He snorted a bit at her, and she reveled in it. He’s slowly coming to… 

“I don’t know about that” He smiled at her tentatively. “A hero in a swimsuit? Doesn’t seem to me like very protective armor. Wouldn’t help Tuxedo Mask much if his partner died as soon as pointy objects were involved.” He said, and then grinned at her mischievously. “Like pointy heels.” 

“Ha-ha” She said tonelessly, rolling her eyes at him. At least he was beginning to sound normal again. “But anyway. Sailor V is so fast, nothing would ever hit her. She’d just blur around it, who needs armor then?” She waved his comment away, and he smiled at her. “Also, it’s not like a Tuxedo seems to me like very protective armor either. Or at all convenient for the cause, for that matter.” She snorted. 

“Eh..” He grimaced and shrugged a bit, almost as if apologetically, and conversation trickled to a stop. Her heart fell a bit. Time to take my leave it seems… 

Their walking slowed to a stop, both obviously sensing the same thing. “So? What are you going to do for the rest of this beautiful day?” She said as a ways to initiate their farewells, although the thought of parting from him again seemed to somehow pull at her insides. 

He ran a hand along the back of his neck. “Um, I’ll probably go home I guess. Or maybe I’ll stroll down here for some cake or something like that for a little while longer.” He trailed off, a bit awkwardly.

At the mentioning of cake her whole face lit up, and he chuckled at her in response. He fidgeted a bit on the spot. Did he look… nervous? Around her? Self-righteous, gorgeous, sexy, confident Mamoru? What had the world come to? “Umm..” He started, “… do you want to come?”

YES! She practically sprang at him, and he obviously noticed. His eyes twinkled. Still she said, as if unimpressed, “Yeah, sure.”

“You need to lead the way though, I don’t know what’s good.” He smiled down at her. They were standing so close to each other again. If I just take a whiff… 

She shook her head to clear it, and adopted a determined expression. “Cake-expert about to lead the way!”, she grinned at him, and put her hand to her forehead in a mock salute. Then she grabbed his elbow and dragged him back the way they came, at a considerable faster speed than they had come.

They weaved their way quickly around mingling students, shopping women and a few kids that had their noses plastered to the windows in front of the little pet store. All the way she was acutely aware of the way she pulled him with her. She stopped in front of a small and pretty corner shop on the red brick cobble stones and reluctantly let go of his arm. 

It was a tiny, almost a hole-in-the-wall-like place that sold colorfully and artfully decorated homemade cupcakes. There wasn’t any place inside for anything but the glass display for the sweet desserts, but there were a few delicate pastel-colored iron- wrought chairs and tables in front of it, as well as a white iron bench with flowery cushions scattered across, and colorful bunting accompanied by an abundance of string-lights that hung from a small marquise above it. 

She beamed at him. “This is my favorite place. You’ll love them, they’re the best.” She beamed at him, and then looked down nervously. Sure, there had been friendly bits of conversation in-between the insult-sprees before with him, but this, frankly, was new terrain. She was usually able to play down her nervousness by flying off the handle, so instead her heart was hammering in her chest. 

They entered the tiny store together, both behaving a bit awkwardly. The chubby middle-aged woman behind the counter greeted Usagi by her name and engaged her in mild but very friendly small talk – she came here often after all – but thankfully didn’t ask her anything as embarrassing about who the young man beside her was, although she glanced at him curiously. They both ordered and paid for their own cupcakes and then went outside to sit on the tiny bench in front of the store windows together.

She realized too late how narrow it really was, so they ended up being squished together rather closely, legs pressed against another. She blushed, but felt secretly quite thrilled about it. 

They ate in amiable silence and she moaned deeply into her cupcake from time to time – deliciously moist lemon blueberry dough with a white chocolate ganache icing, and for once, savored it instead devouring it in one go to make the experience last – the experience being sitting so close to him, not necessarily the cupcake. Which, granted, was still amazing, but she had the cupcake once a week and his legs pressed to hers never. Still. Cupcake was sinfully luscious, so she moaned into it some more. He chuckled whenever she did, asking if she’d rather want to be left alone with the sweet confection, at which she glared at him witheringly. 

When she did finish, she looked up at him and met his eyes. He gazed at her a bit bemusedly. “You have a bit of icing on your face.” He said and she flushed, attempting to rub on it, but obviously missing, as he shook his head at her. 

“Wait, let me—“ He said, and his fingers– a bit shaky? – went up to her nose and lingered there a bit. Her breathing hitched. 

His eyes were as wide as hers for a second, but then he smirked at her with twinkling eyes and, his gaze never straying from hers, licked the bit of icing from his fingers. She gulped. He moaned a bit, appreciatively. “Mmmhh, so it was that good.” His grin was so playful she gulped again, sensation rushing straight and warm into her core. “Now I understand that intense lovemaking to your cupcake right there a little better. “

If she didn’t know that he was probably doing this on purpose, most-definitely knowing the effect it would have on any girl in their right mind and fitting sexual orientation, she’d be sure he was flirting with her. As it was, she knew he was probably just making fun of her again.

Also, she had no idea if that intense rush of emotions she felt was entirely her own. It felt amplified somehow.

She turned crimson, and cleared her throat audibly. They stumbled away from the bench rather gracelessly – at least she did- and shuffled a bit away from each other. He wordlessly took her briefcase before she reached for it herself and slung it over his shoulder along with his own. Together they turned to walk into their original direction – the destination being the corner at which she would turn towards her family’s house and he would walk straight on to his apartment complex. 

The nervous flush was back again, and so she started babbling to break the silence between them.   
“I wouldn’t have pegged you for the sweet tooth though. You don’t come across as someone who would have random cake urges, with all your black coffee orders at the arcade and all…”

He cringed a bit. His hand flew into his hair and raked through it. “Well.” He said, embarrassed. “It’s my birthday today. So it seemed kind of traditional to have cake. It’s not like I’m doing anything else to celebrate it anyway.”

“WHAT” she bellowed. “It’s your BIRTHDAY! Why didn’t you say something.” She had stopped in her stride again.

He looked a bit sheepish. “Why would you have wanted to know!” He mumbled in defense, question not composed as a question. 

“Um..” She began, more calmly now. “…well it’s polite. At least Toki-onii-san could have given me a heads up. I would have paid for your cupcake. Or brought a candle or something.” She said. “Or 30.”

He rolled his eyes at her and they resumed their walking. “I’m not that old”, he grumbled.

“Really.” She snickered at him. “Your grumpy old man frown could have fooled me.”

He mock glared at her, but they both knew he thought it was funny, and he gave up and grinned instead. After a while he added: “Motoki doesn’t know. I don’t tell people when my birthday is.”

She started at that, a bit taken aback and then looked back up at him. “Umm,… then I feel very honored that you told me… “ She began, and then her face glinted again. “…and will do my best to refrain from pointing out your old man-style.”

“I don’t have old man style!” He huffed exasperated. 

She giggled. Then she pointedly scanned his form, happy for the excuse to do so, raking her eyes down his tone-in-tone dark-grey shirt and vest to his black pants, one eyebrow raised, a slight grin still on her lips. “You wear those impeccably tailored button-downs in all those dark shades to your dark denims and dressy slacks, with color matching vests that sit just right on your hips where they are supposed to in order to look cool. And those fancy earthy-colored expensive looking woolen cardigans you sometimes wear?” She gave him a look, then pointed down in the direction of his crotch. “That belt looks like it costs more than my father’s beloved Plasma TV, and may I point out that little gold chain that disappears from your buttonhole to your vest pocket.” Not that she actually complained, she thought he looked dashing the way he dressed. A bit intimidating, perhaps. He just mostly looked like a sophisticated guy from a fashion magazine. And certainly not like a teenager. 

He blushed and looked down on himself. “That’s a locket…” 

She raised that eyebrow again. Are you intending to prove my point…?

Then, after a moment “You think I look overdressed?” He threw her a look, and then added. “And my shirts aren’t tailored. It’s not my fault I happen to have the ideal body type those shirts are tailored for. “ 

“I didn’t say that you’re overdressed.” Although I think you wouldn’t ever be caught dead wearing just the usual blue jeans , T-Shirt and Cap style boys usually tend to sport… “Maybe … refined.” She thought about this, worrying her lip and glancing up and down on him. “Dapper. A bit.. flamboyant, sometimes. And well-coordinated.” And downright sexy…

“Oh, big words today, huh?” He smirked. 

She blushed in return, she had dwelled on fitting word to describe the way he dressed for the better part of many sleepless nights... “You’re rubbing off on me.” She replied offhandedly, then, “Also you certainly never underdressed, that’s for sure. And that pink button down you sometimes wear? There definitely aren’t many guys who can pull that off just like you.”

He laughed. “Are you calling me gay again?”

She chuckled, and turned to walk in front of him, with her back towards the way they were going, and flashed him playful looks. “No. But if you ever told me you were that guy that got it in his head to fight evil in a tuxedo and a top head of all things, I would just about believe you.”

He swallowed, audible, as if wanting to say something, but then stopped. She didn’t notice much of that though, cause she stumbled on something behind – or in front – of her and turned to face the right way again. 

They were approaching that corner fast. She sighed and looked back up into his eyes. “Well, you need to have a birthday photo at least.“

“What’s a birthday photo.” 

“A photo you take on your birthday, duh.” She shook her head at him, exasperatedly. “To remember them all, of course!”

“Wait” Then she stopped, got up onto her tiptoes and reached into her briefcase which was still slung over his shoulder, grabbing, somewhat blushing behind his back, the side of his hip for support. He didn’t bring their bags down from their position either, almost as if he wanted to keep it prisoner, or maybe, she snorted at the thought, as if he enjoyed being groped by her. As if… 

Then she had her phone in her hand and her fingers swiped a bit to put it to its camera setting. And then, with a boldness she didn’t believe she possessed, she pushed her phone into his hand, pushed his arm into selfie-position, mumbled for him to push the button, and then attached herself to the crook that his bag-holding shoulder created and kissed his cheek. She felt him grow very still, then looked back at her phone and frowned up at him “You didn’t take it!” Her face was very close to his. “Again…” 

She bent herself upwards again on her tiptoes and tried to drown out all her screaming senses - He smells so good, why is his skin so soft, did he just tremble? - and kissed his cheek a second time, this time letting her lips linger there a little longer – all for the sake of the photo, of course. This time he took it, and handed her the phone back wordlessly. 

She quickly put a bit of space between them, walked back to the other side of him and, having taken her phone, made a show of looking at the picture appreciatively. He didn’t say anything, kind of stared at her, actually, which unnerved her a bit, so she busied herself with her App for a moment, then pushed the phone into his face again for him to see. 

She had edited the photo. It now read ‘Happy 19th Birthday, Mamoru-Baka’ in a pink and sparkly font, followed by a dozen emojis - a few bombs and explosives, a danger sign and two hearts - underneath the picture of her kissing him. He looked a bit flustered in it and found it to be a very cute expression on him. It made him look almost vulnerable, a bit embarrassed, and a tiny bit happy. 

“Uh… thank you.” He stuttered. 

“Well, give me your phone, I’ll send it to you.” She said. He jerked suddenly, fumbling hurriedly in his pocket and handed her his phone after unlocking it. She activated his Bluetooth setting. “There you go, one birthday photo coming up.” 

They resumed walking. Silence once again reigned, but it was comfortable. Yet walking so close to him, the pull she felt to him was stronger than ever. Her hand twitched a bit, as if involuntarily crawling closer to where his hand kept accidently brushing hers.

Why were they walking so close together? Was she out of her mind? And as if to prove that sentiment to her, she took his hand in hers. 

She blushed, and her hand felt like it was on fire, and her heart must be mimicking a performance of ‘Stomp!’ in there but she looked up at him and whispered. “Happy birthday, Mamoru-baka.” 

They had arrived at their parting corner. He licked his lips, and to her surprise, didn’t remove his hand from hers immediately. Then he smiled at her. “Thank you for making it a nice one, Odango Atama.”, he whispered, somewhat hoarsely, looking at her from underneath his lashes.

She gulped again, and then removed her hand from his. Waving tentatively goodbye to him, she rounded the corner. Looking back over her shoulder, she saw him still standing there, watching her go.

L

Unlocking the door to his dark apartment, Mamoru groaned loudly into the silence. What had gotten into him coming onto her like that? He could just as well have licked the damn cream right off her face, it would have had the same effect on him.

Flushing, he took out his phone. He stared at their picture for a while, then, in a moment’s decision, he set the photo to use as his wallpaper background. He put the phone down on his coffee table, only to snatch the incriminating thing back up again to switch it back.

Groaning again, he went into his bathroom, stripped out of his clothes and turned to faucet of his shower to the coldest setting.

L

Once in her room, she fell back against her door, leaning her back heavily on it.

She just couldn’t wipe that grin off her face.

So instead, she squealed, danced around in a circle in an awkward, ungraceful little dance and punched the air above her with a fist. She felt very childish for it but didn’t care. 

She flopped back on her bed, only to have her arm hit paper. 

Surprised, she propped herself up on an elbow and reached for it. 

It was a newspaper draft, neatly placed on top of her bed with a note attached to it. The headline read: ‘Have we ever expressed our gratitude to him?’ And underneath there were snippets of interviews with people Tuxedo Mask has saved before, all expressing their thanks. She looked at it in awe. Glancing at the note she couldn’t help but beam at it.  
‘This will be page 3 tomorrow. Someone has recently brought to my attention a different point of view in the matter and to have me see a bit of reason in this chaos. It will not be enough to calm the media towards him, but it might be a start.  
Papa’

L


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As someone asked: yes, I have been to Tokyo before, and most of the places I use and describe are at least inspired if not exact replicas of places on site. 
> 
> With this chapter we’re starting to get more deeply into the plot now, I’m very curious to hear what you think of it!

L

 

 

It was the middle of a beautiful, sunny Saturday, yet somehow Usagi found herself doing something akin to school work, and had even gotten up for it relatively early to plan the whole thing with her group. This wasn’t ordinary, as it usually was Usagi’s rule to _never_ do anything for school on a _Saturday_. If she couldn’t help doing school work _at all_ on a weekend, then it was reserved for Sunday night last minute panic, in anything.

 

To blame for this was mostly Naru though. She had suggested they do it immediately, this new assignment, and Usagi recently found she was inclined to do anything if it meant getting time to spend with her newly recovered best friend.

 

Also, this assignment wasn’t so bad, really. In fact, it was the most fun she had ever had doing schoolwork.

 

So this is how she had found herself in the middle of the nearest park to her home all afternoon, the one she usually crossed when walking to and from school, asking strangers for their phone numbers.

 

In math they were recently starting with the topic of statistics, and her teacher had gotten it in his head how fabulous it were if they would collect their own data beforehand. The chosen topic had been mobile phone usage and its relationship to the amount of work anyone would get done in a day; she was sure it was to be embedded in an ulterior lecture not to use phones in school so much.

 

The interview was short, only five quick questions to be exact, and their goal was to get a sample of 50 people. Her group - Naru-chan, Fuyumi, Aya, Megumi and herself – had lingered in this park for the best part of four hours to get it all done in one go, and they were almost done. Usagi, granted, had done most of the talking and interviewing. They had started out doing it separately, spreading out, yet, seeing that Usagi had had by far the most luck in charming people to stay long enough to answer their questions, they had soon progressed to do it as a group and have Usagi do the charming.

 

One to go now, then they could all go home, or to the arcade, or wherever they wanted.

 

She had noticed him sitting there for a while now, of course, glancing at her whenever she would look away or watching her talk to one of their interviewees, and her palms were sweaty because of it; remembering the way her hands had felt in his.

 

He was sitting on the bench she usually sat on in this park. He seemed a bit lost in thought in general, staring into the distance from time to time. She was still quite a few meters away from him, yet she could see he was clutching to his chest what she recognized to be her father’s article, as wanting to hold on to it. When he had first sat down there today he had been mesmerized by it, it seemed, reading and then sat silent for a while until, as if stirred by an invisible hand, he shook out of it with a shiver and his eyes landed on hers across the park without stray, as if he knew she was standing right there.

 

She had blushed and looked away, but now she was finding herself holding his gaze again.

 

She drew a shaky breath. For a moment, neither of them did anything. She stood there like a fool, he sat on his bench, newspaper to his chest, not moving a muscle. Neither moved their eyes away.

 

Fuyumi was saying something to her; suggesting to her which last victim to approach no doubt, but she was only half listening, as Mamoru had gotten up and was walking towards them. She turned around quickly, talking to her classmates, embarrassed for having stared, when he stopped right behind her, so very close, and, leaning down winking at a startled Naru over Usagi’s shoulder, half whispered in her ear, yet loud enough for her friends to hear.

 

“If you wanted my number you could have just asked, you know. No need for this whole pretense.”

 

She was still startled from the feeling of his hot breath against her neck and the playful hum of his voice and jumped a bit. The back of her head connected, if not hard this time, with his face briefly again (he should have _learned_ that lesson by now, standing so close behind her.). Turning around with an army of butterflies in her gut she saw him smirking down at her mischievously.

 

She shook her head for a brief little moment, closing her eyes, trying to shake the effect he had on her. “Right.” She deadpanned. “Because I couldn’t have just asked Motoki-onii-san if I’d wanted it.”

 

He chuckled. “He’s a very loyal friend, he wouldn’t just give out my information like that.”

 

She rolled her eyes at him, and shook her head, as if to say, _‘Are you serious?’,_ deciding on a verbal repetition. “Are you _serious_? He’d give me anything I wanted if I just wailed about it long enough.”

 

Mamoru laughed at that, tilting his head to the side for a quick moment. “Eh…, yeah, I guess you’re right. Touché.”

 

The girls, even Naru who knew Mamoru but had never seen their flirting this intense, stood with their mouth practically hanging open at the sight of them and this hunk of man in general.

 

First time Usagi had seen him in a T-shirt in months, she almost chuckled, and yet it was pristine white and thin, contouring his lean form and the muscles on his chest and abdomen, with a light black cardigan that clung to him and black denims and shiny leather belt – it looked almost simplistic yet as stylish as always.

 

And he stood there, hands in his pockets, shoulders slightly raised, playful grin on his lips, looking so intently just at _her_.

 

Fuyumi broke from her stupor first. “Well, I guess there we have our last test subject then, don’t we?” She said in her high yet slightly demanding voice. “Usagi-chan?”

 

“Uh,… yes.” She turned startled eyes to Mamoru’s. “Would you, eh… be willing to answer some questions for our school assignment?”. She’d been saying this line all day, all charm. It was the first time that day she stuttered it, blushing.

 

“Sure.” He smiled, just at her.

 

“Okay then.” Fuyumi said, clipboard in hand, pen raised. “What is your age?”

 

Mamoru started to talk, but Usagi beat him to it. “He’s 19. Occupation: student.”

 

The girls looked at her, Mamoru raised an eyebrow, and Fuyumi jotted down the answers to both questions then raised her head again. “Measured in hours, how much time would you reckon you do something productive on a usual weekday?”

 

He didn’t have to think about it and instead answered straight away. He’d obviously been listening in to some of their interviews beforehand. “About 9-10 hours if I may count classes in.”

 

Fuyumi scribbled on her clipboard, not looking up, “Measured in hours, how much time would you reckon you spend on your phone on a usual weekday?”

 

“Depends how much time I spend on a train. An hour if it’s the usual amount, about 2 if it’s more. I use it to read the news mostly.”

 

1-2h, she wrote down and looked up. “Usagi-chan?”

 

“Uh,” she shook out of it. “Uh…would you be willing to give us your phone number for possible further questions?” She blushed again. Why was she so _nervous_ , again?

 

He grinned at her, and without straying his eyes away from her, took the Clipboard and pen from Fuyumi’s grasp, glanced down on it, and in a neat and slanted script proceeded to write down his number on the page, and then attached the pen to the board.

 

He handed the clipboard back to Usagi, not Fuyumi.

 

She blushed, cradling the board to her chest protectively, lest Fuyumi or one of the other girls take it from her.

 

“Right.”  Aya said, at the same time that Megumi and Naru let out a little squeal. “That means we’re all done, right?” Naru asked around the group. Usagi could see Umino standing a little off to the side. She hadn’t noticed him before but it made sense he would come to pick her up.

 

Usagi and Mamoru both shuffled around each other a bit, and with a few mumbled words and awkward glances he excused himself from the girls and went back to the bench he’d sat on previously, his bag left discarded leaning towards it.

 

Umino joined them then, they talked for a bit, discussed when and how to compress all their data (Usagi reluctantly handed over the clipboard, but not before sneakily taking a picture with her phone of the current page that was on top of it, in case someone carelessly threw away the originals), gossiped a bit about school (Megumi heard Ms. Haruna had a new boyfriend, Aya mentioned something about a new transfer student rumored to join their class soon, some girl that was kicked out of her old school for being too violent.) But Usagi only half partook in the conversation and kept glancing back at Mamoru, who did the same thing from his bench.

 

So Usagi excused herself, hugged Naru goodbye who then proceeded to go off with Umino and walked over to Mamoru. He looked up at her and blinked, looked back at the girls, smiled at them, and waved goodbye.

 

They giggled at each other, Aya and Megumi especially, blushed and hurried away without returning the wave.

 

“Huh,” He said, looking after them, a confused frown on his face. “What did I do?”

 

Usagi rolled her eyes. “Ugh, really?”

 

“What?!” He shook his head at her.

 

She leaned down a bit towards his sitting position to not be blinded by the slowly setting sun. “You do realize the effect you have on girls my age, right?”

 

“Eh...”  He looked at her blankly for about a millisecond and then smirked at her, evoking exactly those feelings that she meant.

 

She exhaled, pursing her lips. “Seriously. Can’t you like, wear a warning?” She gestured wildly with her hands towards his seated form in front of her.

 

He raised one eyebrow at her, grinning at her without any shame whatsoever. “Are you insinuating you think I'm hot, Odango?”

 

She blushed and rolled her eyes. Most normal reaction for her around him, ever. “You seriously do need to get over yourself, you know that right?” She shook her head but couldn’t fight the upward tug of her lips.

 

Silent for a little moment, she shifted her legs, and he looked at them, right in front of him. _Naked. Knees. In front of him_. He swallowed.

 

She wore a just so slightly see-though white shirt with a flowery embroidered  Superman “S” covering the chest part of it to a very, _very_ short, light rosy-colored skirt and the simplest of white cotton sneakers. It looked adorable, he found, and he had to look away from her legs to stay on top of it.

 

“You might want to duck.” She said and he looked at her bewildered, ripping his gaze away from dimpled, slender knees.

 

“What?”  He breathed.

 

“I can see Natsumi pass over there, she might see you. Just a fair warning.” She smiled at him.

 

He furrowed his brow. “Who?”

 

“Natsumi?” She asked, an amused look on her face. “The red-head in my class who follows you around?”

 

Oh! His eyes widened, and he ducked quickly. She giggled.

 

Face in his lap he mumbled upward, “Is she gone?”

 

“Yeah, I think so.” She smiled, then leaned down towards him a bit further. “But don’t worry, I will save your sorry ass if she does see you, I’m Superman after all.” She smiled cheekily, pointing her finger towards the “S” on her T-shirt, the hand at her hip.

 

He raised an amused eyebrow at her. Most common expression on his face when around her. “Ah, right.” He started.  “Because everyone knows Superman is a woman.”

 

“Well,” She grinned. “It’s my clever disguise, so no one suspects me.”

 

“Ah, right, yes.” He twinkled at her. “Clever. No one _would_ suspect the man of steel under such long eyelashes, I see your point.”

 

She puffed up a bit, spluttering. “ _You_ ’re one to talk with _your_ girly eyelashes.”

 

He laughed at her and she smiled, then, his heart realized with a start, she was leaning her face down towards his, peering into his eyes, studying his eyelashes closely.

 

His pulse sped up, her face was _so_ close to his. He’d only need to lean forward just so much in order to…. He could smell her; the clean and flowery scent of her hair, that unique musky and sweet scent of a light sheen of sweat mixed with sunshine. He had to close his eyes for a second.

 

Her head was still level with his, the way she was peering into his eyes, bending slightly and putting her hands on her dimply, _naked_ knees which touched his legs and he swore inwardly at his black denims between them.

 

 He felt the need to kiss her so acutely, but held it in, he couldn’t pull her into his world further, but then he noticed her lean in slightly more, her breath now tickling his skin.

 

And she asked him in the quietest and most breathy voice he’d ever heard her use, “Is it ok if I … May I kiss you?”

 

And all thoughts flew out of his head, and although it’s she who had asked it’s his hands that fly up and bury themselves into her hair, pulling her face towards his and touching his lips to hers; for once, letting go on his constraints of the pull he feels towards her daily and kisses her like he’s wanted from day one.

 

It’s desperate, but soft, he’s pouring all the emotion he feels into it. Yet when she opens her mouth he doesn’t let his tongue sneak into it, trying to keep it innocent, tender, the lightest brushing of their lipss, brushing both her lower and upper lips with his with tender strokes, pulling one slightly into his mouth for just a moment.

 

It was perfect.

 

And was this what kisses were always supposed to be like? But it didn’t _feel_ like a first kiss -  it felt like this is what they’ve _always_ been doing, and it felt so _right_ —

 

 

L

 

 

Usagi looked towards her feet on the cobbled red-bricked street that were making their way towards home.

 

She felt elated, embarrassed, hopeful, exited.

 

She’d chickened out of course. They’d barely talked after the kiss, instead both of them had looked at each other with a mixture of fear and attraction, she’d felt it coming off him as well.

 

They’d done something akin to an awkward little dance. Stepping towards each other and then back again, hands touching briefly as though magnetized and snapping back. They’d made their way out of the park in silence, none of them knowing what to do or say, it seemed.

 

They’d parted in the front of it, going in opposite directions, both glancing back over their shoulders meaningfully towards the other. They hadn’t said goodbye. They hadn’t said anything.

 

She exhaled a deep breath she hadn’t known to be holding once he was out of her view.

 

Her thoughts returned to the kiss. How soft, how perfect, how _right_ it had felt.

 

But then, abruptly, she felt a pinch of danger, of fear and destruction, and she knew without a doubt there was a Cardian nearby. And then she heard the screams, coming from the very park she’d just left with Mamoru.

 

She acted as if on auto-pilot, not knowing what had gotten into her, but she knew that this time she wouldn’t stand on the fringes of this, she would act.

 

She ran towards the terrified screams, as fast as her legs could carry her, feeling adrenaline and fear pumping through her in equal measure, determination was written into her every move.

 

Those powers of hers only come out when she’s in danger. Well, then maybe she’ll just have to put herself in danger and learn to control them on the go.

 

L

 

He’s never been this scared for anything in his life.

 

As Tuxedo Mask he rushed after her, almost franticly. _What is she doing? Does she have no common sense?_ He had felt the presence of the Cardian long before he had heard the screams and chaos of people trying to rush away, only to quiet down as they were drained of their energy, crumbling, one by one, to the ground, like so many before them.  This was the usual direction though: People rushing _away_ from the danger, not _to_ it. _What is she doing for god’s sake. What is she *thinking*?_

She was fast. So fast in fact he couldn’t keep up with her speed. This unnerved him greatly – he, after all, had these weird abilities – the enhanced strength, speed, healing powers that came with his secret identity, even though he couldn’t fathom why these powers existed at all. A deep, not-as-foreign-as-he-thought fear gripped his insides in a painful twist. _Not_ her. _Please not_ her. Don’t let them get _her_.

 

She skidded to a halt in the middle of the park. She was pale, so pale, he could _feel_ the fright in her. She tumbled to her knees, shaking one of the men lying to her feet – one of the many people drained of their energy. The Cardian, an enourmous, fungae-like being with spongy, moist tentacles that had moved like roots towards the people, draining them, started moving sluggishly but with force. Another arm that the thick tentacle-roots formed at its base, bulging in smelling welts out of its body in a disgusting but mesmerizing way –  moved towards Usagi.

 

He yelled at her, reaching her just in time. She was startled, only now noticing the brownish moist arm quickly coming towards her. He reached around her waist and practically smashed her towards his chest, jumping her out of its path. It reacted, changing its direction, following them, so he pushed his legs into the ground and jumped up onto roof of the pagoda that stood on the fringe of the spectacle. “Wait here till I come back for you” He hissed at her. She flinched, she seemed frightened. _Good_. He thought. _Maybe this will keep her from doing something as stupid as running into danger’s arms._

 

Her eyes were big, watery, tears brimming at the rims but not falling. Her pale skin almost translucent, all color seemed to have fled her. “No” She rushed. “Take me back. I _need_ to do something” She clung to his arm as he had turned to jump  back into battle.

 

“What” He boomed. “You’re a civilian. What good could you do. Leave this to—“ He stopped, he didn’t want to argue this. It was nonsensical. He would _not_ allow her to endanger herself further. He was tempted to pick her up again and carry her away from here. But there was no time. He had to act. He had to stop this thing. Before it was too late, before someone died. _Again._

So instead he jumped down and into battle, fully expecting her to be stuck on the tall structure without him to help her down from it. Which he would do _after_ he had dealt with the situation.

 

He faced the creature, drawing his sword. With it he started hacking at the disgusting tentacles,  a foul brownish green gel-like fluid oozing, spluttering from the cuts, but his sword went through the soft and bulgy tissue like a warm knife through butter. He sighed with relief. _Maybe this is going to be easy for a change_. The creature howled in a strange tenor, and from the places he had cut new tentacle sprouted - like a thousand snakes pushing from them – more tentacles than before he’d cut them.

 

 _Or not._ He sighed.

 

Arms rushed towards him, so much quicker than before,  and he was surrounded by the welty tentacles that started to close on him, his throat constricting because of the stench that came from the soft and wet tissue. Something caught his foot and pulled. He growled, trying to spring free but it held with a strength that was unexpected. This creature was big, and the weight of these tentacles would crush him surely, but it didn’t exactly seem dexterous. He was suddenly yanked down just before the creature had trapped him fully, and to his surprise, out and away from the sluggish arms. Behind him, Usagi puffed and huffed, having put all her strength into pulling him out of there. His eyes bulged. “What are---“ He yelled, but dropped it, pushing her away from him when the tentacle arms rushed towards them, the creature having seemingly realized there had been nothing to crush between its arms. 

 

He rushed towards it and hacked at the arms some more, but this time he was distracted. He was terrified. _Please._ He thought. _Not her. Please._ He noticed the bulging ground beneath him split a second too late, so the root-like arms extending from it were able to encase him. The smell was unbearable, and he couldn’t claw away. The leathery skin blubbered beneath him, he couldn’t get a grip on it for all the moisture. The more he struggled, the tighter its grip became, and he felt his sword – still tightly gripped in his hand – being pushed forcefully between the creature’s arms and his leg – tearing into both. He flinched and screamed, his painful outcry quickly turning into a growl. Behind him, Usagi suffered the same fate as he, having been incased in the same way he was.

 

Other than in his case – the arms didn’t contract further, seemingly being kept from it by the obstacle of a sword pushing into it further if it did so, so the tightened position was painful, but he wasn’t further crushed by it. Usagi didn’t have that luxury though.

 

She howled. Angry tears blubbering out of her eyes. It _hurt._ Nothing she ever felt had ever _hurt_ this much. She couldn’t breathe suddenly, the pressure on her chest was too great. Her limbs were numb from the pain, she felt paralyzed. Eyes bulging she tried to draw breath,  but her throat only made raspy choking sounds before the meaty tentacle encased her fully, drawing her in and suffocating her.

 

A heart-wrenching cry left his lips. It was a mere moment, but to him it felt like an eternity. It felt as if his heart stopped, and he couldn’t move. He couldn’t _save_ her. What good are these powers if I can’t save _her._ With a strength he didn’t have – he knew he didn’t - he pushed at the sword. It went simultaneously further into his leg and into the creature, but he ignored the searing pain completely. The creature did not though, and with a snap, released its grip just a tiny fraction – enough for him to blindingly, almost manically cut his way out of his foul prison.

 

He rushed at the arm encasing her. It had only been a few seconds. _She’s still alive_. _Seconds without air is okay,_ he thought feverishly, trying to push out the voice in his head that reminded him that crushed lungs weren’t as okay.

 

But as he ran at the bulgy Cardian arm that had trapped her inside with inhuman speed, it rippled out and exploded into an enormous blast of light so bright he momentarily thought it must blind him, yet it felt so _warm_ , so _righ_ t.  He had no time to panic, it happened so fast, and then Usagi fell to her knees exhaustedly in the remains of what used to be her gooey prison. The light ebbed down quickly, retreating to its origin – a pulsing white crescent moon embedded in the skin of her forehead. He gasped, a strange – but _known_ – feeling pushing at his chest.  _Princess_ , he thought, flittering.

 

She breathed heavily, obviously trying to get it back to normal, and then crouched with her knees almost to the ground and pushed herself off her feet with such force when they noticed the tentacles – all of them – detaching itself from the people of the ground and rushing to her. Tuxedo Mask had started towards her, and saw her soaring through the air with the force of her jump momentarily – an oddly fitting sight with her in her stained white Superman T-shirt, flying through the air like that - jumping towards the center of the creature – he wouldn’t call it a face.

 

She yelled – grunted, feral, _powerful_ and held a hand out, directed at him.

 

He was dumbfounded for a second. He couldn’t wrap his mind around what was happening here. _This is Usagi. Sweet little innocent Usagi. Usagi with that bright smile and bright eyes. Usagi with her power over my emotions. Usagi with her hand in mine, smiling up at me so adorably, so gentle. Usagi, kissing my cheek. Usagi’s lips soft beneath mine, mere minutes ago - What—Does she want me to come to her? What—_ His mind rushed, no time passing at all, yet it felt he hadn’t moved from the spot in minutes.

 

Usagi’s hand was still outstretched, and with a start he felt his sword moving jerkily, as if by an invisible hand, and then, with a twitch, flew towards her. She grabbed it at the hilt instinctively, not looking back for it, and he swore he could see the heavens part for her, for moonlight suddenly encased her in a silver glow, and with a high-pitched grunt she pushed his sword into the crystal between what he thought might have been the creature’s eyes.

 

The ground rumbled beneath them, and the arms and welts of the creature dissolved into a thick fog, that retreated quickly, dissipating as they always do: shrinking together into the form of a card, then disappearing. Usagi fell to the ground, knees first, hitting the ground at an unfortunate angle, the heavy sword clattering down noisily next to her.

 

He stood. He just stood there. Staring at her, his mind silent for a start. She breathed hard,  trying to catch her breath, light pulsing through the symbol on her forehead  that was slowly starting to fade. Coming to his senses somewhat he started towards her and she looked up at him suddenly, startled.

 

 _Frightened?_ Did _he_ scare _her_? After what _she_ just did?

 

He stopped right in front of her and picked up his sword carefully. He felt her exhaustion, her resolve, her fear push through her in waves. The pant-leg of his Tuxedo was just barely brushing against her crouched form, her hair brushing against him with every heaving breath she took. He could hear the sirens of the approaching ambulances (and media, most probably) in the distance – he had get her _away_ before she was seen -, disturbing the eerie silence that had settled over the park that previously had only held the slow – so slow – breathing of the Cardian’s victims on the ground. Now the first few of them were starting to come to—the lucky, strong ones whose energy hadn’t been drained so much they would need to be hospitalized. All of them would be weak and without energy for weeks, but they would live. Usagi had destroyed the Cardian before it had taken just that bit too much, it seemed.

 

Without thinking he picked her up again – just like he had before – his arm grabbing around her waist, pushing his free hand underneath her abused knees, noticing, with a start, the bluish, purplish hint of her body – she was bruising all over from the force the creature had trapped her with beneath its pawy extremities – and carried her away from this. He jumped from building to building, only mindful of her exhausted body in his arms – she was struggling to stay awake— before he realized he was taking her to his apartment. He slowed for a moment. Was this wise? She already had seemed so scared of him for a second there. But he _needed_ to know. He _needed_ to talk to her. He glanced back down at her fluttering eyelashes – she was barely conscious. _And I need to make sure she’s okay._

 

With steeled resolve he made his way through the small part of Tokyo that was Juuban and landed on his balcony with barely a sound, and carried her inside to lay her on his bed.

 

L


	7. Chapter 7

L

 

She awoke suddenly, feeling the soft warm glow of the moonlight on her eyelashes. It warmed her, filled her with life, with _power_ that rushed through her veins. It felt nice. She opened her eyes and closed them again, startled, shaking her head briefly, then opened them again—

 

She didn’t recognize the room she was in. It was dark, illuminated only by the moonlight that shined onto her through the large window front.  Disoriented, she pushed herself to a sitting position and looked around, trying to organize her chaotic thoughts and her whereabouts.

 

Her legs were tangled in soft, ultra-thin satiny dark sheets that had been neatly tucked around her frame, and in the corner of the room that she currently was in – minimalistic, sleek, kind of industrial, kind of cool, in both senses of the word –   was a small leather couch. On top of it lay a cape, a top hat and a mask.

 

She gasped.

 

The events of the evening came rushing back to her.

 

All these people, all these poor poor people….only to be whisked away by Tuxedo Mask. 

 

She’d always thought she would have fan-girled all over him if she ever got close to him, but … but… he felt so much like _him… but it couldn’t_ be _him, could it…._. She had jumped after him…. And that panic she had felt, and they way her body had reacted, freeing him with a strength she didn’t know she possessed…that horrible, horrible feeling of being crushed and suffocated, believing, _knowing_ , this would be her last breath, this was it… and then…. Then… Her powers rescuing her, exploding out of her as they usually did, but then…

 

She hadn’t known, of course, if it would really work. If she could control it, if even only for a moment.  She had hoped, of course, that’s why she thought she could help in the first place, but she hadn’t _known_ …

 

 It had been so.. so..

 

Effortless, somehow, in the moment, moving his sword in order to kill the Cardian, only reaching out her hand—

 

She looked down at it, stretching her fingers, as if it didn’t belong to her body.

 

And then all this power she had felt pulsing through her veins.. all of it flowed out again. She never felt so empty, so broken in her life. … All those people… were they okay? Did she safe them?

 

She looked up when she heard a noise, startled out of her thoughts and gasped again, when she saw the person who walked into the room.

 

Mamoru.

 

She gaped. She looked back at the mask and top hat. Back at him.

 

So it _was_ him.

 

He smiled at her, but he seemed nervous. His smile, she suspected, was probably only to there to try and lighten the mood. “So you _are_ Superman, eh?”  He attempted to joke, but she didn’t react to it.

 

“I _knew_ it.” She whispered, more to herself than to him. “I _knew_ it was you.”

 

He walked towards her tentatively. She felt elated, all of a sudden. It’s _him_ , you can _share_ this with _him_ —

 

 Only to get really scared really suddenly… He _saw_ this. _He saw me like this. He’ll think I’m some kind of monster—_

 

 He half knelt-half sat down on the very edge of the bed – as much space between them on the piece of furniture as possible with them being both on it. _Too far away_ , she thought, feeling that intense pull again that she always felt around him. _Is he weirded out by me?_

 

“You knew?” He wore a soft grin, almost sheepish, then getting bolder and cocking an eyebrow at her. “How?”

 

She exhaled sharply, the proximity to him effecting her. “I… I felt it. You… you felt the same. Like resolve, and anger, and trepidation, and purpose .. and that _hum_ that I feel vibrating off of you. … That’s how..”

 

“I…I _feel_ the same?” He swallowed visibly. “Usagi…do you...” He trailed off, seemingly unsure and started again. ”Usagi, do you—“

_He feels so scared._ Her eyes grew wide. _Please, please no, don’t be scared of me._

 

She interrupted him quickly. “I-  I don’t know how I do it. It just happens. Just like before – the light – the power – the freak show. I don’t know. I just… it just happens. I’ve _always_ had it. I just didn’t know I could _control_ it, - well, at least not like that I didn’t—Oh, _please_ , don’t be scared of me“ She rambled, her voice growing frantic, high- even higher than usual, and broke several times, her lips trembling.

 

“I’m NOT afraid of you!” He practically yelled at her, interrupting her, then quickly grew silent again.

 

 “I…” he trailed off, looked down at his hands, and then scooted closer to her. Her breath hitched when, with oh so soft and careful touches, he peeled the soft satin sheets away from her. She was acutely aware of how short her powder-colored mini skirt was, and of the way his fingers brushed against her skin while he did, all the feeling in her body focusing on the warm, tingling sensation, the pit in her stomach and the pull in her heart she felt when he did it. He laid her knees bare – they were scabbed all over, dried blood clinging to it. “I…” He tried again, looked at her uncertainly, and then looked down at her knees purposefully.

 

He laid his hands above the abused skin and somehow, miraculously, with a tingling in her skin, the scabs faded away, leaving smooth, unhurt, baby-new skin where dried blood had been before. Her eyes grew huge. He exhaled audibly, and directed his gaze back up to her eyes. “I.. . I have powers too, that I can’t explain…”

 

She looked back at him, perhaps a bit too long, at a loss for words. Silence stretched between them for a moment.

 

It was his turn to start babbling out of nervousness. He yanked a hand through his hair. “I… You were bruised all over from the battle before… but they only started showing after you passed out, so I thought I could heal them without you noticing anything was different.. and I did. But your knees… you were still awake when you fell and I was sure you’d notice that they were gone so I didn’t, I… You…”

 

  _He… Could this, could he_ really _be… Her dreams. This had to be…_

 

He swallowed again, he felt her turmoil, he felt the pull, the tingle between them… and the fear. It scared him. This… she meant so much to him. _So_ much. If she ran out of his life…

 

Instead he tried to focus. _Talk to her, talk to her, talk to her…_

 “Since… since when do you have yours. … Your powers, I mean.” He asked her.

 

Her gaze flew up to the moon, he followed her gaze up, confused, then looked back at her, her gaze trained on it. She cleared her throat, then looked at her hands, then back up at him, tentatively. “I’ve always had them, I think…” She swallowed, crunching up her little nose, thinking. He thought it looked adorable.

 

“I’ve always had these _dreams_..” He made a small sound and she looked at him, and then continued on. “…ever since I can remember. And sometimes, things would happen, like when I was really sad, or really angry, or really scared… this one time – I must have been like, what, 3, 4?..” She looked by up the moon. “I walked into the kitchen but my mom hadn’t seen me. She was carrying the kettle, the water was just boiling and she yelped and stumbled over me and the scalding water was about to pour over me and I… I remember the water somehow _curving_ around me. Not a single splatter fell on me. My mom thought it was pure luck, she was so relieved. She still tells the story of my “guardian angel” to this day… I knew better but I didn’t think it had been _me_ who did it until…”

 

She trailed off, because he had scooted closer, his hand found hers, she sighed at the strange- so strange- relief she felt when touching him.

 

He saw her breath hitch, and then he looked down at their entwined hands. “Until?”, he prompted.

 

“Until that one time when I picked up Shingo, my little brother… I was seven and he was three and he had just started kindergarten and his kindergarten was next to the building of my elementary school, so I would always pick him up and we would walk the short way back home together. He was always so scared of the other kids, he was a really sweet little thing, and he’d grab my hand really tight. The walk was like really, _really_ short to our home, but that day there was a construction site on our way, so we had to cross the street after all… “ She looked up at him, taking a deep breath, unsure. She had never told anybody this. There had been times she herself had thought she was crazy.

 

“This car came around the corner cause it couldn’t see us and … and it would have hit Shingo first, cause he was to my right and the car was too and so I jumped in front and… and  I put up my hand and it stopped RIGHT in front of him.” She extended her other arm, as if to demonstrate, yet lost in thought, and he stroked the back of her hand with his thumb, urging her with warm eyes to continue.

 

“ I felt this push back, and a bright light, as if something in me had pulled all the wind around us to make it stop. The driver stumbled out of his car. He hadn’t even touched the brakes yet, he said… I got so scared. I _knew_ it had been me. So I picked up Shingo and I ran from that guy, as fast as I could. I told my mother that Shingo was totally exaggerating … there was a car yes but it saw us and it stopped. And that I ran with Shingo because Mama always says we shouldn’t talk to strangers. And she believed me, and Shingo _somehow_ did too… like small children do, the way they think everything you say must be the truth. It was when I realized I could do these strange things, and it was also the first time I remember ever having deliberately lied to my mother, not like, only keeping things from her, but telling her something else than what really happened… “ She frowned, but then continued.

 

“These things happened a lot afterwards, but it always just _happened_.” She shook her head, frustrated. “ I didn’t direct it, I just did it. And it was always when I was really scared… any other times, I never _could_ will things to move on purpose, or shine that strange light… but… but I’ve always wanted to, all this time, the Cardians… I tried so hard, but it never happened… yet your sword… I _did_ control it. I knew what I did… I…” She stopped, feeling embarrassed, and unsure and looked back down at her hands, one of them still clasped in his.

 

Her hands felt so very alien to her, yet…

 

 _Nothing_ had ever felt as good as her hand in his…

 

“What about you?” She whispered.

 

“You mean my powers?”  He smiled at her, his voice breaking a bit, just like hers had.

 

She nodded. “I always had them, too, but…” He swallowed thickly “I can’t really tell you when they started, see… I was in a car accident when I was 6. The car went off a cliff and my parents instantly died…”

 

She inhaled loudly, looking at him with big eyes, and he drew his thumb across her hand, smiling at her slowly. “I… it’s okay, I don’t remember anything of it… but that’s the point. I suffered from amnesia, so I don’t know anything about my childhood from before. The doctors couldn’t explain how in all the world I could have survived. But I think it was because I had these healing powers even then, and they protected me?” He paused,  “I think so at least… and then there were these dreams…” He stopped, looked her in the eyes and she blinked back at him, her heart in her throat.

 

“Usagi.. you said you also have dreams…” He started, eyes wide and tender. “What are they about?” He whispered to her.

 

“Umm…” Her eyes were as wide, and watery. “I see a big, beautiful white building. Like a temple in the pictures in my world history textbook, only prettier. It’s eerily quiet, like there’s no wind, but it feels so… _serene_ somehow. Fountains that spring from huge white marble pillars, shooting stars glistening in ponds in front of it…” She paused for a second, only to continue in a whisper.

 

 “And then I see it all being destroyed. Female soldiers fighting –  People dying in front of me… B—blood, everywhere… _”  ..rushing out of my mouth when I push a sword into my chest_ “…and I tumble across a warm body, a man, still beneath me..”  She cringed a bit, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment and then looking back up at him with those big, blue eyes.

 

He gripped her hand tighter, tears pooled in her eyes but only a few of them fell silently from her wide open eyes and he feels the urge to kiss them from her cheeks.

 

But he’s rooted to the spot. _That castle. It sounds so much like…_

 

“…then I walk, like through a _barrier_ somehow, and it… it feels like I’m walking out of my dream and into someone else’s… and I stand in this incredibly thick, dense fog and I _know_ in front of me is the man from before in my dream although he is only a blur. And I tell him to search for me, and to help me find the “Silver Crystal”.” She stopped, her voice trailing off. He looked at her as if he’d seen a ghost, he’s so pale and all the movement has stopped in him.

 

“I…” She continued. “When I first saw you.. that day in front of Osaka-san’s jewelry store and my test paper… I felt-… my heart pounded so loudly, I stared at you so crazily because I—I think I _recognized you_. I thought—“

 

She blushed- “I thought that must be what love at first sight felt like, and maybe that was it, too, but… “ He looked at her so intently, so vulnerable and open. “but it felt so intense. And I think I could feel you too then, cause it felt amplified tenfold. I felt this _pull,_ and I felt it ever since. Like I _needed_ to feel your skin, touch you _now_. And at the same time – it’s so _strange_ – this _relief_ , that you’re alive, as if you hadn’t been before, although I knew I’d never seen you before… and I thought about this so often, and now… now that you have these strange powers too…” She trailed off, swallowing when she looked back up into his eyes.

 

“In….” She swallowed again, mustering all her bravery, and began anew. “In my dream…I think I’m her. And I think the man I’m talking to is… is… you?” She hadn’t meant to make it sound like a question, but it came out that way nonetheless. She felt him freeze, it felt strange. Did she go too far? Did she scare him off? Did he think she was insane? She looked down at their hands, still entwined, but his so still-

 

And then he yanked his hands out of hers – her heart squeezing painfully for a second – but then his hands are in her hair and his lips are on hers and she tumbles onto her back onto the soft bed with the force he tackled her to it.

 

The kiss is frantic, almost animalistic. It’s tongues, and outcry, and breathy ” _Oh gods_ ” and it’s perfect and she needs him to be closer still, to be _nearer_ and inside, and the familiarity she feels in it, just like the last time, just so much more urgent this time…

 

She pushes her legs up and around his middle to draw him even closer against her and it’s oh so right—

 

 But he suddenly wrenched himself free from her and practically jumped  from the bed, leaving her with her knees pulled apart, her cheeks flushed, her lips oh so slightly bruised.

 

She could see him struggle, she _knew_ he felt the pull as well. Then why does he—

 

“I’m _so_ sorry. I didn’t mean to attack you like that. I …” He trailed off.

 

She looked up at him with big eyes. _Does he… not feel like she does? Doesn’t he need this?_

 

It’s as if he heard her – and he probably did, reading her as she did him, she was now sure of it - and he’s back on the bed with her, back on top of her.

 

But this time he put his hands flat on the bed on either side of her face, propping himself up above her, searching her eyes.

 

“That last part of your dream… That’s my dream. I’ve had this dream. All my life. _My_ princess  calling me Endymion—“ She whimpered when he said the name. “—begging me to search for her and help her find that damned rock. I’ve been hunting through museums, private collections, excavation sites and _jewelry stores_ all my life to get a clue on how to find _you_.”

 

Her eyes brimmed with tears, although she smiled at him. And this time he didn’t refrain himself from doing so and leaned down and kissed every tear from her face once it fell.

 

They tasted salty, and like the single loveliest thing he’d ever tasted. She started giggling through her tears and felt him grin in return against her skin.

 

“I’m no princess though.”  She whispered up at him, feeling her face brush against his with every word.

 

He shrugged at her, taking deep whiffs of her smell in the crook of her neck, still grinning like a maniac. “You are to me.”  

 

Then he sobered up a bit, his gaze becoming more intense again, his eyes never straying from hers, wide and damp. “Usagi... This ache I feel whenever you’re near, the way everything tunes out, the way nothing is more important in the world to me than that you are safe… the way however irritating and confusing the conundrum that is my life is, whenever you’re around I can’t feel anything but this all-consuming feeling of content… “

 

He took a heavy breath and ran his thumb along her cheekbone ever so softly. “I love you.” He whispered, almost inaudibly, and her breath hitched. “I fell in love with you the moment I first laid eyes on you in that jewelry store…”

 

 She whimpered just the tiniest bit and he chuckled at her, part in embarrassment, part in wonderment, “…and I’ve been going out of my way to let you barrel into me ever since just to be able to touch you for a second.” He admitted somewhat sheepishly.

 

A teary laugh gurgled from her throat then, not believing her luck, not believing he felt this too, not believing he thought _he_ had been groping _her_ , but somehow it was all real. And then her lips stretched into the widest of smiles, interrupted ever so often by giggling a little. “Or you might have just suffered from severe head trauma courtesy of my left shoe.”

 

This time he laughed out right.

 

She had never heard a more beautiful sound in her life.

 

 

L

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: This scene, the rewrite of the original manga scene, was the scene this fanfic started sprouting with in my head, and it was the first scene I ever wrote for it. That being said, it’s been re-written countless times now, and I guess I’ll never be a 100% happy with it… But here it is, and I’m very interested to think what you thought of it.
> 
> Don’t worry, this is far from the end. Actually, this is more like the beginning of this fanfic.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And okay, so a fair warning here:
> 
>  
> 
> This chapter contains adult themes. They are very few and in between, but to me, given the intensity of their bond, this part of their relationship belongs in there in my opinion, and it would be missing in their thoughts in my mind if I left it out.
> 
> As you know by now, this is my first story on ff, and I don’t really know what’s protocol.   
> As a European, a psychologist, someone who is fiercely for gender equality and as someone who has an education in sexual medicine anything I wrote here is neither scandalous nor racy so much but instead very natural…   
> (Especially because what I am trying to focus on here is not the lust-dimension of sexuality, but instead – as interpreted through their bond – the relationship-dimension; the way how sexuality in all of nature and evolution, when experienced consciously, is the single most potent source of sharing intimacy, the feeling of being accepted and sharing emotion.)
> 
> But I do admit my view on this might deviate from the norm. I changed the rating of this fanfic on ff to M because of it and left it blank here on purpose, so it would only be viewed by those old enough even though I personally wouldn't know how to rate it...
> 
> That being said though, snippets of their sexuality, if not always as explicit as this, will make an appearance from time to time here and there, but they are not at all the focus of this story.

L

 

It was the middle of the night, and Ami was the only one in the lab.

 

That was no coincidence, she had planned for it after all, and she hoped against all hope that Professor Tomoe had no further cameras installed that she wasn’t yet aware of.

 

The one that she knew was in the room she had prepared for; positioned her equipment in a way that would be inconspicuous.

 

She attached the tube to the nitrogen tank, and pulled the glass dome of the Cardian fog sample towards her platform.

 

Once the sample hit oxygen it would evaporate and disappear. That was the main problem they had faced so far. The solution, at least in theory, was to freeze the fog to frost, change its molecular structure to keep it from evaporating and thus be able to study its genetic makeup.   

 

Problem was, this fog didn’t behave like normal vapor did, and nitrogen did freeze it for a while, yet when oxygen hit, it would immediately turn back to fog and thus dissipate – leaving them to square one.

 

Nitrogen wouldn’t do then. And any other form of natural ice hadn’t proved fruitful either.

 

This left her, then, all alone in her lab with one camera to fake for. Nitrogen attached but the lever unopened, she touched the knob of the tube, for pretenses, but instead of nitrogen, what really poured into the dome was an icy fog courtesy by her fingers.

 

She could feel it – the deceleration of the molecules, their rearrangement to fixed positions, building hexagonal patterns – tiny crystals of her making. It froze.

 

These creatures weren’t of this Earth, maybe they could only be handled by powers that didn’t stem from this planet either.  

 

She stood there for a while, letting the temperature go down at a very slow pace as not to break the process she felt was so very fragile.

 

She breathed deeply, once again, although she should be getting used to it after so long, bewildered by this strange ability of hers.

 

She’d discovered it in a state of distress, years ago, when the way her mother had treated their affairs – neutrally and disinterested, as always – in a way that had infuriated her so much that when she got home and fumed – silent and alone in her room, as always – and the side of the table she had been gripping had been slowly covered in ice – ice that felt warm and natural in her hands, ice that she could control at will, and it had made so much scene to her even though it denied anything she’d ever learned.

 

And then later, when she’d discerned that freezing wasn’t the only way she could manipulate fluids.

 

So she’d turned herself into her number one study object. She’d perfected the art of making crystals – for in fact, that’s what it was when one made ice; constructing tiny, perfect miniature crystals – to the point that she could manipulate them, use them to design technology that she somehow had the knowledge of, as if it was buried deep inside her.

 

She’d always had _knowledge_. This deep unexplained understanding of how the world, and _other_ worlds, worked. It was why she’d had such an interest in science, from the beginning, why she rather wanted to experiment with chemicals and temperatures than to play with the other kids in first grade, wanted to make the elements do what she told them to do. She had found herself dumbfounded, in Junior High then, when she’d started reading papers in scientist’s journals, reading of theories and discoveries that she thought people _must_ already _know_ , not understanding why they didn’t.

 

That was, most probably, why she was sitting here. The amount of scientific papers, sprouting theories and discoveries a person usually published at age 16 were about… none. Yet she’d written and written, since her stay in Germany, and been praised and funded for it, now almost worldwide. She’d always felt bad at it – felt like she didn’t _discover_ anything at all, she’d just _known_. It made her feel like a fraud sometimes, so sure she was copying someone else’s accomplishments that she just didn’t _remember_ ever reading.

 

And that time that the search for the understanding of her own body and its abilities had drawn her to that exhibition in the Charité’s own museum of medical history back in Berlin and it’s collections of crystals that naturally occurred in the human body – mostly absurdly large gallstones, which, when broken apart, glimmered and shined like the most precious jewels, and a few very old examples that had been found in ancient tombs which the archeologists had deducted the people back than had called ‘star seeds’ yet were made up of their genetic code, harvested from blood and plasma and indigestion like any bodily stone was.

 

But there had been this one crystal, small and clear, edgy, other than the rounded stones beside it, that had almost called to her, and, being a student at the Berlin Charité at the time with a reputation for making crazy ass science, had been allowed to study it further.

 

What had called to her was this: It was exactly like the crystals she used to procure to store data in that she didn’t want anyone to discover. One of _her_ crystals.

 

There had been no data on it, of course, but it had intrigued her, and she ran further tests on it.

 

And then, when she had run a DNA sample of it and found her own genetic code in a crystal with a molecular structure that suggested it to be at least 2900 years old, a genetic code that suggested in itself already that it was not entirely made up in a way that exhorted it had been produced on the planet it was found on…

 

It had taken her a while to consider the possibility that this _knowledge_ of concepts and phenomena she had that science hadn’t _figured out yet_ \- had maybe not come from the future (her first, illogical explanation) but paradoxically maybe from the _past_ , from an ancient society long gone,  a civilization more advanced than this one was.

 

It had been that time she had started to research ancient myths of legends, but so far, there had been nothing she had found that could at all make sense of all of this.

 

She pretended to close the nitrogen tank again, and, detaching it, holding her breath, she lifted the dome.

 

The frost, this time, stayed what it was: frost.

 

A relieved cry, more like a laugh, fell from Ami’s lips, and she adjusted the temperature of the platform quickly, lest it break and melt the icy patterns, even though she knew she could adjust it at her will any moment, and began preparations to run the tests this study group had been formed to run; uncovering the mysteries of these alien creatures, study and dissect it, discover ways their genetic makeup could prove useful for future science in and outside of genetic engineering.

 

She was not here for simple observation though; If there was something to be found here, something that would explain where the Cardians came from and what could beat them once and for all, effectively, fatally – she would find it.

 

L

 

 

It was insane. It was utterly insane this whole thing. Maybe it was all a dream? If it was he never wanted to wake up. This was what he’d been waiting for all his life. _Her_. 

 

 _Usako_.

 

It all went so incredibly fast after that – beautiful, fateful, _magical_ -  night in his apartment, and that beautiful magical Sunday after that spent solely _together_.

 

To think that it had all started with the worst panic he had ever felt in his life when he saw her dashing into danger and ended with his heart so full and big and bursting he didn’t know whether he was floating or dying.

 

It had only been a few days – fifteen days to be exact – and already he could not fathom how his life had ever been anything resembling the concept of even only “okay” without her in it.

 

He shook his head, laughing, once, incredulously. He sounded like a lovesick fool.  Since when did he use so many descriptive words… all of them describing one thing: Happiness.   _Usako_.

 

They’d spent literally every moment together that they could. He would walk her to school in the morning – she will probably never be late again in her life – then spent his classes repeatedly checking his phone for texts from her, and usually finding them – and pick her up at her school gates again when her last bell rang.

 

He’d be leaning against the iron gate, reading, pretending not to wait anxiously for her.  She would stand up on her tiptoes and kiss his cheek – at which point he would turn his head and kiss her lips instead – the _exact_ thing he had wanted to do that time on his birthday -  and then he’d slip his hand into hers while grabbing her schoolbag from her in the process.

 

The first time they’d done that – the day after _that weekend_ – her classmates had stood flabbergasted, shouting at each other across the yard to come see _this, ‘Usagi-chan is MAKING OUT right here with the guy that always teases her!’._ But after the first week had passed most of her classmates had gotten used to the same sight every day and by now barely anyone spared them a glance any longer in their sickeningly sweet routine.

 

Except for that Seijuro- boy he would swear was planning his assassination from the death stare he was addressing him with continuously – he would vehemently deny it if Usagi ever asked but it was intensely and somewhat embarrassingly satisfying to him to rub their relationship in the jealous boy’s nose -  and his sister that kept shoving into Usagi, but mostly, they had lost their spectacle-status surprisingly quickly.

 

Afterwards they’d either go to the arcade – Motoki had been so _confused_ when he first saw them strolling in holding hands – or the park, or wherever she wanted, as long as they got _some_ studying done in between  - at which point she’d usually direct her impossibly big blue eyes at him and graze him with “The Pout” as he called it. He was pretty sure that look on her face would one day be his undoing. So they pretty much had never really finished studying whatever they were studying and did what she wanted instead.

 

Which usually – to his dismay, he _really_ wasn’t happy about it – involved them sparring in his apartment. She was apparently adamant to perfect her ability in the martial arts in record speed so she could help him in battle, and he had to admit that she was talented. She moved lithely, her training in Jūjutsu making her lethal. And even though he _knew_ there was no power in her muscles to speak of, and he could pick her up and carry her away with a single sweep of his arm and there was nothing she could do about it, she was manipulating his own strength so well he found himself lying flat on his back more often than not.

 

It impressed him, though he was very careful not to tell her, she was gloating enough about it as it was.

 

These battles for her to participate in had yet to come, though, as their glorious fifteen days had been very peaceful, and he had yet to figure out how to keep her _out_ of these – but he whole-heartedly agreed to her reasoning that he would feel better _too_ if she knew how to defend herself properly.

 

So they sparred. And he got to see and touch her when she got all sweaty, and in that skimpy little sports bra of hers that he really quickly learned to appreciate.

 

The evenings would not be spent alone as well. Not really anyway. He’d drop her off at the corner to her house in time for dinner with her family. She’d spend an hour or two with them  – and then  she’d either drop out her window with that accidental grace of hers afterwards and skip down to his apartment or – more often than not – he’d simply use that window himself and wait in her room reading and catching up on his studies until she came up. He didn’t think he could ever fall asleep again without her in his arms.

 

Or her limbs in his face or somewhere even more uncomfortable, - let’s face it, she slept like a gorilla - but he wouldn’t trade it for the world.

 

And then there was that other matter… He’d been so resolved to wait for them to have sex. She was sixteen, and he was almost three years older than her, and he had wanted _so so_ very much to prolong it, so it would be extra special for her… and for him, he had been a virgin as well, after all.

 

But she knew he just wanted to be a gentleman, and that he was afraid he’d hurt her, at which she’d roll her eyes at him, saying he read too much fan fiction (and he’d protest, saying he’d never read a piece of fan fiction in his life and it was instead just common sense) and that she’d accidently broken her hymen years ago while acquainting herself first with her own anatomy, and if he wanted to protect her ‘virtue’ he was just following very disempowering social constructs anyway (not her words, of course, but what she meant to describe in that naïve wisdom of hers that she had when it came to matters of the heart)and she was the one who got to decide when and whom she wanted to share her body with… arguments that gnawed very quickly at his resolve.

 

But there had been that one other, much more un-ignorable obstacle in his plan that had been his downfall, which he had somehow forgotten in his carefully laid out resolve:

 

They could _feel_ what the other was feeling. This sensory connection that translated every shudder and tremble of their bodies, every emotion they felt when they kissed and touched or were just in close proximity to one another. And that included their ever-insistent pull towards each other, and every oh so flittering moment of arousal.

 

And there were way too many of those.

 

Also, they had learnt, the closer they were to each other, the more intense and unfiltered their bond became.

 

Which meant that, after five days – he’d managed at least those few – when his will had crumbled and he’d first moved inside her, both of them gasping, he could feel her arousal as if it were his own, right next to the ecstasy he himself had felt, and so did she.

 

Thus, their first time - because of being able to _feel_ when he was just _right_ where she wanted him, his hands, his lips - had gone over all too quickly.

 

Her orgasm came so quick and sudden in mere moments it had surprised them both, and that intense burst of feeling of hers when she tumbled over resonated in his gut, was amplified and then kicked him over the edge at pretty much exactly the same time, there was nothing he could do about it.

 

It had been over so extremely fast he would have been embarrassed had there been a sliver of him left that had been capable of rational thought at that moment. As it was though, he was busy feeling his pulse throb in his teeth.

 

“Huh” She’d said afterwards, giggling. “I guess we won’t have any trouble coming together.”

 

He chuckled at her, his throat so dry it made the sound quite raspy. “I guess so.”

 

He caressed her thigh that was still draped around his waist in long, lingering strokes, feeling her desire bubble up again and himself getting hard in answer to her, still sheathed within her.  “But I think there could be worse things, don’t you think?” He breathed at her throat, while drawing out of her all so slowly and then pushing himself back in with more force.

 

She had to bite down into the pillow to keep from crying out from the exquisite sensation, so she’d only grunted and nodded.

 

They’d spent a lot of moments together in states of undress since then, the need to learn which touches excited her most so urgent in him he couldn’t keep his hands away and thanking whatever powers gave him this insight into her feelings and desires, this straight connection to her wants and needs.

 

He knew to appreciate how lucky they were. They were both so new to this, they fumbled, they got excited too fast, yes. Yet with their bond, feeling her shivers as if they were his own, he could uncover the deepest secrets of her body just by listening to it.

 

And it baffled him mostly. After all, the world tended to tell boys that breasts are really sensitive. Who knew that collarbones, necks and the underside of a belly could be so much more sensitive on a girl? Sure, yes, she would gasp wantonly whenever he would flick her nipple when they were at their hardest and most sensitive but what got her going were different touches.

 

The softest kind of brushing - just his fingertips, as if he were trying to just stir the miniscule hair on her body - underneath the soft swell of her breast, the pale and luminous pearly skin stretching taut over her collarbone and neck, the inside of her wrists and thighs… those were the touches that made her come undone, unhinged, gasping and trembling underneath his touch.

 

Or whenever he would -with an equally gentle touch - follow the edges of her panties until she writhed in need and only when she was almost begging for his touch he’d just slightly stroke her through her panties, just for a moment, only so long that her hips would shoot off the bed and she would breath his name, and he would go back to stroking the inside of her thighs, driving her crazy.

 

And later, when he would sink into her and her movements weren’t at all controlled and coordinated anymore and it wouldn’t be the soft touches anymore that she craved, but the need to feel his hands to dig deeply into her skin, grabbing at the swell of her buttocks, her upper arms, her thighs, where ever he could reach.

 

And well, he did know, given time, he might have picked up on which touches elicited the breathiest sighs from her someday without this connection into her innermost feelings, but he also knew that he himself was very closed up and shy about talking intimately and that she was incredibly polite and unwilling to ever disappoint him if she could help it and he knew that without their bond they might just not have immediately told each other which kiss right now on which spot actually felt rather awkward or like nothing at all, yet with the bond intact, there was no need to speak about it, their bodies could do the talking.

 

It was a level of pure honesty and intimacy and trust that made the whole experience feel almost transcendent. Like together they were truly more than the sum of their parts, and it felt beautiful and innocent, and _so so right_.

 

And then there was of course but the science of the exact timings on how soft or alternatively firm, long or quick, from underneath or with simple flicks, to manipulate her little hidden nub, and when to switch to stroking languidly just underneath, or when to alternate swirling his slick fingers just around her entrance yet slide his finger back further up  immediately... so that at best she was fluttering and seizing around him just as he entered her on the first deep stroke - THAT he would never have found out on his own.

 

And now, as they lay in her bed this time, and he listened to her quiet breathing, snuggled against his chest, he felt so happy he didn’t think there could be a happier time in all his life.

 

Like in that film he’d taken her to in that small theatre in Shibuya a couple nights before  – she’d loved it so much;  laughing, clutching his hand, beaming at him, sniffling, crying; and now she begged him to take ballroom dance classes with her -- And he had to admit, that epilogue, the bittersweet fantasy, in which they stumbled and sang joyfully through their life, dancing under stars, always hand in hand – that was exactly what this felt like to him. It had ended kind of sad for the characters in the film, but _he had_ the fantasy. And he would never let it go.

 

“Hmmmm” She murmured at his chest and he looked down at her. She smiled sleepily. “You’re so happy.” She whispered.

 

He chuckled at her. “I thought you were asleep?” 

 

She snuggled deeper into his chest. “I am” She mumbled, but her voice sounded more awake by the second.

                                                                              

In one of the rooms in the big Tsukino home something clattered to the floor and he could hear – he guessed it was her father – swear loudly.

 

He breathed against her hair. “You know, one of these days, your parents are going to walk right into us.”

 

“My door is locked.” She shrugged

 

“I know. I saw you lock it. But won’t your parents wonder about that one day?” He whispered against her neck.

 

 “I always lock it at night, and my parents know that.” He cocked an eyebrow at her, urging her to elaborate. “Shingo sleepwalks” She shrugged again. “It’s annoying.”

 

“Still though—“ He began, but let it drop, and she leaned a bit away from him to be able to look him in the eyes.

 

“This bothers you, doesn’t it?” She asked.

 

“’Bother’ is such a strong word for it…” He said, thinking about it. “I’m worried. I wouldn’t want their first impression of me to be…. Well, me naked in their daughter’s bed … I don’t want them to keep you from me, should they ever find out… and I don’t know if they would even like me. I don’t have any contact to people who are… parents.” He shrugged, he felt a bit lame about this. But her smile became so very very warm and she touched his cheek, looking at him in silence for a moment.

 

“I’ll introduce you to them tomorrow” She vowed.

 

He looked a bit startled. “I didn’t mean—“

 

“I know” She interrupted him.  “But you have nothing to worry about. My Mama will love you.” Then she poked him in the chest. “Now let me sleep. You’re the one who’ll have trouble waking me up tomorrow otherwise.” 

 

He chuckled. “As if I ever do _not_ have trouble getting you to wake up, Usako.  Being Tuxedo Mask is easier, I swear.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” She mumbled, snuggled back into his chest. “Sleeeeeep.”

 

And then, much later, when he had been so _sure_ she was asleep, “We really should make sure though that my father _never_ finds you naked in my bed…”, she murmured into his very naked chest.

 

L

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I’m very curious to know what you think about it now that their relationship has changed!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is basically the continuation of yesterday’s chapter, and I’m suddenly very unsure of it, but eh…  
>  Just so you know. It’s a bit of a reprieve, but very important for an upcoming story arc as well as simply for the way I want to portray their daily lives.   
> Also, it always struck me as odd that he never got formally introduced in the anime or Manga, even though they even talked about it in R that one time. So there, my take on it.   
> Meet the parents!

L

 

He was nervous about this.

 

They were walking the distance towards her house, after, for once, having finished _all_ their studying at the arcade. He was pretty sure it was because Usagi wanted to ease his tingling nerves as best she could before meeting her parents. If she could feel only a fraction of his nervousness through their bond, she had a pretty good idea about the storm brewing in him. So she kept a calming hand on his knee all throughout their study session, and now practically dragged him along behind her.

 

“What are you going to tell them about us?” He murmured.

 

“That I love you.” She beamed back at him.

 

“Uh.” He grumbled thoughtfully and she slowed down a bit to match their paces side by side.

 

“I think we should tell them we’ve been seeing each other for a couple months already, though” She said.

 

That surprised him. “Why?” He looked down into her smiling face. “Won’t that make the part about you not introducing me earlier a bit… worse?”

 

She thought for a moment, scrunching up her cute little nose again. “Let’s face it.” She began. “We’re intense. If they knew this has only been two weeks they’d put me in a clinic.“

 

“But—“

 

She didn’t let him speak, instead she hurried with her explanation. “They wouldn’t understand this.” She stopped and walked in front of him, starting to gesticulate wildly with her arms, impersonating her introduction of him to her parents. “Gee, look, Mama and Papa, this is Mamo-chan, two weeks ago he still teased me about my hair and now he’s my boyfriend but I’d much rather call him my husband because it feels much more appropriate, because I sent him dreams since I was little to come find me, and, by the way, we always come together.” She twinkled at him, laughter shining in her eyes.  “I don’t think my father would approve.”

 

He cleared his throat, and resumed walking alongside her towards her house. “I guess you’re right.” And as an afterthought he added, “And I still tease you about your hair.”

 

He pulled at one of her pigtails, as if to prove his point.

 

She rolled her eyes. “You love my hair.” She stated, daring him to say otherwise.

 

He just chuckled at her.

 

And with this they already could see her house looming around the corner. This was where he’d usually drop her off, still a safe distance away, and she would go home to dinner with her family. Not this time though, as she grabbed his hand a little tighter and pushed him along with her.

 

At the entrance she fumbled with her keys, and then thought for a moment, looking back at him. “Can you wait here for a second?” She squeezed his arm. “I’ll warn them that I’m bringing you beforehand.”

 

“Okay” He said, a bit worried her father would not allow him in once she went inside without him. But she obviously felt that little spark of fear and came back for a second to kiss his cheek and whisper a soft “Don’t worry” to him.

 

Then she was inside, and he outside. She hadn’t closed the door on him, only leaned it slightly ajar, and even if it were closed, with his ever so slightly enhanced hearing he would still be able to hear the conversation inside.

 

He could hear Usagi’s springy steps on the wooden floors, skipping forward only a few inches away from him to what he assumed was the entrance to the kitchen/dining area, at least it was on the left side of the house from where he stood.

 

“SHINGOOOOO---“, she yelled upstairs. “COME DOWN HERE” and then “Mama, Papa, I brought a guest, today. Someone I’d like you all to meet.”

 

He could hear shuffling and movement and her mother’s gentle voice. “Oh, what guest then? Where is she?” He winced a bit at that. The idea of Usako bringing home a boy seemed obviously a bit alien to her mother if she directly assumed it to be a girl.

 

“It’s my boyfriend.” He heard Usagi say with an unwavering voice.

 

He could hear strangled sounds of protest – her father, he was sure of it -  and a loud guffaw “Baka-Usagi? A boyfriend?” from a little ways further away – Shingo must have come down the stairs - but she talked right over him. “I’ve been spending a lot of time away from home these past weeks to see him, because I was afraid of your reaction. But I’d like to change that now, and well… I love him, so you should meet him…” She trailed off. Her father still made indistinguishable noises.

 

“Where is this young man, then?” Her mother said. He couldn’t pinpoint the emotion with which she said it, but her voice was gentle.

 

And then he heard his Usako’s feet shuffle back to the door and pull it open fully and she smiled at him reassuringly, took his hand, and pulled him back with her. He stumbled a bit, taking of his shoes, while seeing three people huddle in the far side of the hallway in the corner of his eyes watching him. Anxiety swelled in him and he took a huge breath, steeling himself and looked at them.

 

Both her parents were wearing somewhat incredulous looks, the apron her mother wore was a bit spattered here and there – they must have interrupted her cooking. The small sandy haired teenager stood with his mouth almost open.

 

He ran a hand over the back of his neck and bowed deeply in greeting, while Usagi, taking his hand again, turned to her family. “Mama, Papa, Shingo, I would like you to meet Mamo-chan—eh, Chiba Mamoru, of course. My boyfriend.”

 

 “Tsukino-san-tachi” He greeted all of them with a shaky voice. “It is very nice to meet you all. Please call me Mamoru.”

 

Usagi pulled him further into the house and her mother was first to come out of her stupor. “Oh, yes, yes, it is nice for all of us to meet you as well, of course. Please, Mamoru, come on in.” She ushered them towards the dining area and pulled out a chair for him at the dining table  - empty safe for a newspaper sprawled on it across from him, which Usagi’s father hastily put away and then sat down across from Mamoru.

 

Usagi pulled a chair up towards the head of the table and sat there, so she could sit between Mamoru and her father, putting a bit of puffer between them by doing so. It calmed Mamoru down a bit and he looked at her gratefully. She just nodded at him reassuringly and put her hand on his knee.

 

Her father cleared his throat, eyes on his daughter’s hand, and addressed Mamoru. “So, son, tell us more about you. We have to admit, this is the first time we are hearing about your existence.” His voice was authoritarian, hard, and at the last bit he glared at Usagi. Shingo had sat down next to Mamoru, and looked at him as if he were a ghost, while her mother came in from the kitchen, carrying a tray of cups and a teapot. He jumped up, attempting to help her, wincing when he realized that meant he was not answering Kenji Tsukino’s question right away. But Usagi’s mother shooed him away, smiling, and Usagi pulled him back down to a sitting position.

 

“I…” he started, blushing. How could he be this _nervous?_

 

Usagi took over for him, feeling his distress. “Mamo-chan just turned 19, and he has enrolled to study at Keio University this year at their Faculty of Medicine. He’ll be a doctor” She beamed, more at Mamoru than at her parents and he smiled back at her. “He lives here in Juuban and we met a year ago or so when I accidently threw one of my failed test-papers at his head and he teased me about it.” She chuckled, but both her parents gasped.

 

“A YEAR ago?” Her father spluttered.  “You’ve been keeping this from us for a year? Usagi—“

 

“No!” She hastily replied, and Mamoru shifted in his seat. “I said we MET a year ago. We haven’t been dating for a year, though. His best friend is Motoki-onii-san, you know, from the arcade? So we kept running into each other frequently.”

 

“I knew we shouldn’t have let you hang out there so oft—“ Her father began to ramble shaking his head and looked helplessly at his wife. Mamoru’s heart sank.

 

“Papa!” Usagi interrupted him, looking stern, as if scolding him, and to Mamoru’s surprise her father did stop and calmed down somewhat. _So she has this effect on everyone_ , he thought, _not just me_. Calming, gentle, yet somehow decisive and dominant -  when she wanted to be.  “Please, Papa, this is important to me.” She looked at Mamoru. “--To us. So please keep an open mind, for me.” She looked back at her father, her voice becoming gentle. “I know you want to protect me. But there’s nothing to protect me from. That’s why I want you to meet Mamo-chan. So you can see that for yourself.”

 

She looked at him then, and he knew he couldn’t hide behind her forever. He looked from her father to her mother. “I love your daughter, Tsukino-san-tachi. I would never do anything she does not want as well, and I will respect her in every way, always, and I am fully committed to her.”  His voice was now steady, he was beginning to find his nerve, but still winced a bit. He sounded so _melodramatic_.

 

Usagi chuckled at him, raising an eyebrow, as if to say, _you don’t have to ask for my hand_ just _yet_. And he shrugged at her, a bit sheepishly.

 

Both her parents saw the quiet exchange between them, like the ones before, obviously sensing some of the connection between them, then looked at each other with part helplessness and part wonder at what they saw here.

 

Usagi’s mother cleared her throat, and began to pour the leafy green tea. “Well, Mamoru, Usagi said you’re studying to be a doctor? And at Keio of all places? That must be a whole lot of studying.” Her voice was gentle. She was changing the subject, trying to put the situation at ease and he was thankful for that.

 

“Oh, it’s okay actually. It is a lot of studying yes, but I have photographic memory, so that comes in handy.” He said, feeling a bit awkward. Talking about his achievements and how they seemed to fall to him so easily always felt a bit like bragging.

 

“I see” Ikuko said, a bit impressed, and Shingo too, it seemed. “Maaaaan, if I had photographic memory…” He groaned, obviously thinking of his schoolwork and slumping on the table. “But what does a genius like you want with Baka-Usagi, then?” He piped up, bringing the topic back to their relationship.

 

“SHINGO!” All Tsukinos above twelve scolded the boy. But Mamoru chuckled at that, and Usagi whipped her head around at him, looked at him appalled, as if to say ‘ _You traitor!_ ’ but could not keep the grin off her face.

 

“You would be surprised to see that your sister is actually pretty smart, Shingo-kun. She’s just insanely lazy.” He winked at her, she looked half offended, but then continued on. “But you see, I’m more of a lonely, introvert person. Talking to people, and expressing my feelings is very hard for me, and connecting to others even more so but with Usako—“, he looked at her fondly and she propped her elbow up on the table and put her head in her hand, fully turned to him with that gentle smile of hers. “—well I think you realize how easily she connects with people and gets them to come out of their shells, so…” He trailed off, blushing.

 

That same look from before passed between her parents again and Ikuko stood up. “Well, Mamoru. We were just about to have dinner—“

 

 At that he hastily stood up, as if to excuse himself, preparing to leave them to their family dinner, which surprised Ikuko.

 

“Please, Mamoru, sit down again. I was just about to ask you if you liked Katsudon. With my daughter in this house I prepare enough food for an army, so there is more than enough for you to join us, if you will?” She continued, warmly.

 

He sat down again, slowly, and looked at Usagi, who nodded at him. “Umm, I would be very honored to have dinner with you, thank you Tsukino-san.”

 

“Please, dear, call me Ikuko” She smiled and left for the kitchen. “Usagi” She said, “Will you help me lay the table and bring the food in?” She looked at her daughter meaningfully.

 

Usagi was a bit startled but got up quickly, looking at him reassuringly, _‘You’ll be okay’_ , and rushed to her mother who was striding into the kitchen.

 

Kenji Tsukino cleared his throat, obviously not knowing what to say to him, and neither did Mamoru.

 

The silence felt awkward, and he heard Usagi giggling in the kitchen, and then her mother giggled right with her. That at least served to reassure his nerves, though he didn’t dare listen in on what they were actually talking about in there.

 

“So,” Shingo said, obviously unaffected by the awkward silence. “Have you been like- _kissing_ my _sister_?” He said, and for the look on his face the concept seemed disgusting to him, he could as well have said ‘ _vomiting_ ’.

 

 _Oh, if you knew_ … _and just across from your bedroom, too_ … Mamoru chuckled, raising his eyebrows amusedly and then froze, looking back at a very silent Kenji Tsukino that was watching him intently, hoping feverishly his thoughts hadn’t been displayed clearly on his face, or at least that Usagi’s father couldn’t read him as easily as Usagi could.

 

But he was saved by Usagi, who carried in the plates and cutlery, and he jumped up quickly to help her place everything on the table, however much she insisted he didn’t need to.  Ikuko followed quickly with a tray of steaming, deliciously smelling food and he had to say, he’d never seen such huge bowls. She hadn’t exaggerated when she’d said she usually cooked for an army.

 

Usagi shrugged her shoulders as if to say ‘ _She told you so, didn’t she.’_

 

Usagi and her mother took over the conversation at the table from this point on, and, unsurprisingly in her presence, he grew more at ease and more comfortable to take part in it while they all dug in.

 

He watched Usagi devour plate after plate into that tiny body of hers, which didn’t exactly surprise him, he knew what she ate at the arcade or when they were out someplace else, but it never failed to amaze him nonetheless. Which prompted him to ask her parents if she had always been like that or if Usagi’s eating habits were just recently so… bottomless. At which they laughed and began tales of the food-devouring-toddler she had been and how scared they had been that she’d get diabetes by the time she was 5, and the one time at another child’s birthday party when she had eaten the entire cake and then cried because the birthday girl had cried and she felt sorry.

 

At that point Usagi had begged for them to stop embarrassing her so, and her parents laughed at her, her father ruffling her pigtails a bit and saying that it was nothing to be embarrassed about. “Our little moonchild just needs a lot of energy to be such a ray of sunshine all the time.” Her mother had said then, and Usagi had beamed at her, while he wondered about the curious, if sweet, nickname Ikuko had for her daughter.

 

They’d asked about this and that afterwards. If she took care that her grades weren’t slipping further now that she spent so much time with him (“Papa, he forces me to at least _start_ my homework every day. That’s more than I did before…”) or how long they’d been seeing each other (at which they both replied vaguely and simultaneously with “A while” and then Usagi quickly changed the subject) or why he wanted to become a physician (“I want to help people. I feel I might be good at…healing.” He had said, flinching a bit, and Usagi had giggled.) He was still nervous. These were _her_ parents after all, there was a lot at stake here, but he at least didn’t feel that panicked about the whole thing anymore. It seemed they’d let her continue to see him, and that really was all he had hoped to achieve.

 

The dinner was slowly coming to its end, for everyone having cleared their plates and Usagi’s fifth refill was now slowly being dissected instead of being inhaled in one go, which he took as a sign that she was almost done as well. The conversation at the table mimicked that behavior and trickled to a stop. Shingo had long since whined if he could go play video games now, which Usagi’s parents had agreed to the second time he started to go on about it, and so it was just the four of them at the table anymore.

 

Which meant he felt his cue to leave. Not that he’d leave for long, but her parents didn’t know _that_ … “Tsukino-san—“

 

“ _Ikuko_ ”

 

“—thank you so much for this wonderful dinner and for letting me into your home” He addressed both of them with the latter, bowing deeply, his voice shaking a bit, which didn’t go unnoticed by both of Usagi’s parents. 

 

They exchanged a short glance and then Ikuko spoke “Oh honey, you sound as if you’ve never seen a home-cooked meal before. I’m sure your mother would do the same for Usagi, wouldn’t she?”

 

“I…” He started, at a loss for words, looking at Usagi helplessly. They shared a moment, in which her eyes spoke volumes, as if to say, _May I?_

He nodded and Usagi turned to her parents. “Mamo-chan is an orphan. He has no memory of his parents… that’s why he is so nervous. This is all very new to him.”

 

Mamoru actually blushed a bit, and Ikuko gasped a little, looking at her husband in slight alarm and then back at Usagi and Mamoru. “Well that settles it then, doesn’t it? You’ll be joining us for dinner every evening from now on, young man. You’re a part of _this_ family now. “

 

Usagi beamed at her mother and then at him. He didn’t know what to say, and frankly, that lump in his throat was getting huge. “Thank you, Tsukino-san—“

 

“ _Ikuko_ ”

 

“I would love to join you for dinner.” His voice was shaking hard by now. “Just promise me to let me know whenever I’m imposing—“

 

Both women at the table shrugged his last comment away with loud “Pffts” and “As ifs” which made her father roll his eyes and him chuckle a tiny bit. He looked up into the eyes of Usagi’s father, who looked at him with what he thought were equal parts concern and wariness. To him he said, “If I impose, or you would rather not have me here at any time, please just say so.”

 

But Kenji just began a small smile, and laughed a bit to himself, shaking his head. “You heard the women, son. You’re welcome to join us for dinner from now on.”

 

 

L

 

 

They’d shared a tiny, very chaste kiss goodbye when they parted and her father insisted on showing Mamoru out the door. Her mother was uncharacteristically silent, but smiled really softly at her while settling down onto the couch across from her. She heard her father and Mamoru talk in their deep voices for a moment, hoping her father wouldn’t scare him away after all, but he returned a while later and planted himself in the middle of the room.

 

“Well… that was a surprise.” He said, shaking his head a bit.

 

“Well, do you like him?” Usagi asked hopefully.

 

He frowned. “He’s…” He frowned some more. “…okay, I guess.” Some even deeper frowning. “At least we can keep an eye on this when he’s coming over every day from now on…. I’d rather this happened here under my roof then somewhere else.”

 

Usagi sighed. Well, this was the best she would get from him, she assumed. At least he wasn’t fuming at the mouth like he usually had done whenever someone had only mentioned a boy acquainted to her before. This was probably her father’s way of praising Mamo-chan at his highest capability.

 

“Oh nonsense.” Her mother said. “Usagi-chan, I think he’s wonderful for you. And I’m happy to be able to get to know him better from now on and so is your father, don’t listen to him.” She glared at Kenji, a bit mischievously. “Your Papa is just being overprotective is all, as is his job as a loving father. Right, honey?” She directed the last bit at him. He grumbled in answer and sat down next to his wife on the couch.

 

Usagi stood up decisively. “Well, how about I do the washing up, then?” She said.

 

Her mother looked at her as if she’d grown a second head and started to stutter a bit.

 

Usagi got a bit flustered. It’s not as if she never helped around the house… She did, she just usually never _offered_ … …Her mother didn’t have to treat this like the seventh world wonder…. But she was so grateful for her to offer him to eat with them from now on, so she wanted to show that somehow… “It’s just that you were so nice to him, Mama, inviting him like that, so I want to… be nice, too?  And help a bit around dinner from now on?” She said as an explanation.

 

Also, it helped her slightly guilty conscience that she was lying to them regarding her current sleeping arrangements… but there are just certain things you don’t _discuss_ with your parents, right?

 

Her mother flashed her the brightest smile she’d ever seen on her face. She could swear her eyes were a bit watery, too. “Oh Usagi-chan” She gushed. “I’m so proud of you” She said and Usagi had to smile right back at her. “Well, we’ll do it together, how about that?”

 

But Usagi shook her head. “We can do it together from tomorrow on. Tonight I want to do it for you.”

 

This time she was _sure_ there was a tear involved and her mother hugged her tightly. “I love you, honey”  She whispered to her. Usagi hugged her back, then smiled at both her parents and disappeared into the kitchen.

 

Dishes weren’t her favorite thing in the world, but tonight she really didn’t mind them so much at all. She put on the radio while she washed up and found herself almost enjoying the relaxing task. Yeah, she could do this from now on…

 

It took her a little while though, because she wanted to do it right for her mother today. So she was a bit slow, but in the end everything was done, and she’d put everything back where it belonged in the cupboard and even cleaned up all the counter tops. Her mother couldn’t believe her eyes when she walked into the room in between for a glass of water.

 

She walked back into the living room to say goodnight to her parents. “All done” She said. “I’m gonna head up now.”

 

Her mother beamed at her. She was in the best mood, it seemed. “Is that why we sometimes hear talking in your room?” She asked her and Usagi froze. _Did they know?_

 

But her mother’s continuous grin didn’t fit that thought. “Admit it,” Her mother grinned. “You spend all your evenings on the phone with him, don’t you? Thank god we got you that all-in option for your phone.”

 

She exhaled, relieved. “Umm yeah. I talk to him a lot in the evenings.” _That technicially wasn’t even a lie…_

 

L

 

When she came back up the stairs and walked into her room she smiled, seeing him sitting on the left side of her bed, still fully clothed minus his socks, a book in hand, his back leaning against the headrest, his legs extending long and crossed over the other on top of her moon and bunnies-comforter with enough room left next to him for her to crawl in with him.

 

It felt so normal. She was already used to the sight, when in truth, she had just kissed him goodbye an hour ago on her doorstep and he had at least pretended to go home for the sake of her parents.  “Hey” He smiled at her.

 

She grinned back at him and locked the door behind her, then started to take off her school uniform and hung it carefully on a hanger that she put on her door. Then she sat down at her vanity in just her underwear and quickly undid her buns. Reaching for her brush she felt his hand on hers suddenly, taking it from her.

 

“Let me” he whispered and with gentle touches began to brush out her hair.

 

“So…” She began. “Are you okay?” Although she really didn’t need an answer. She probably wouldn’t have needed their bond to feel the waves of contentment coming off of him... now starting to be mixed with a good portion of arousal, but she knew what it meant to sit in front of him in just her underwear and letting him touch her hair.

 

“I keep thinking every single day for the last two weeks that I’ve never been this happy in my life.” He whispered to her.

 

“I really like your mom.” He added with some considerate emotion in his voice.

 

She smiled. “You don’t have to whisper so much by the way.” He found her eyes in the vanity mirror and looked at her as if she’d gone insane. _Your parents are still in this house, they just_ know _me now_.

 

“They think I have my phone on loudspeaker every night.” She giggled. “But they can just hear noises and voices, no content, don’t worry. The walls are thick.”

 

“Oh.” He said, cocking his head to the side. He let her hair fall from his hands reluctantly and put the brush back on the vanity, then took off his own pants and dark dressy shirt that he had been wearing and sat back down on the bed. She crawled in next to him and lay down on her back, putting an arm over her eyes and sighing contently, yet a bit defeated. “Papa can be a piece of work. … I promise he’s actually really sweet!” She peaked at him from underneath her arm. “I hope he wasn’t too hard on you when you were alone with him?” She murmured.

 

“No. He was great. I’m surprised it wasn’t bad, really, what with him being so protective of you…” He trailed off, laying on his side facing her, propping his head up on his elbow and drawing circles on her stomach for a little while, settling into a comfortable silence.

 

He continued playing with her stomach, switching sometimes to poking it, or putting his ear to it. She was amused. “What are you _doing_?”

 

“Well… being so tiny even though you eat so much is one thing… you probably just have a _crazy_ fast metabolism…and it’s not like it would matter to me how much you eat… but… all that food has to _go_ somewhere doesn’t it? You ate one of those giant’s bowls out on your _own._ And yet your stomach is as flat and pliable as always.” He stuck his finger into her navel and moved it around, as if trying to rummage in her stomach and she giggled. It tickled. “That must have been like three kilos worth of food. Where does it _go_? Why is your stomach not hard and bursting at the seams? “

 

“Well, I’m a freak of nature.” She smiled. “Maybe I am a bottomless pit only filled with that strange light I seem to give off of me when my powers come through.”

 

He looked at her for a moment. Then he put his ear back to her stomach. “Nah” he said. “I hear it growling, working. There’re definitely organs in there.”

 

She chuckled and laced her fingers through his hair. “My mom thinks you’re hot, you know.”

 

“What?!” He sat up straight in her bed, looking at her incredulously.

 

“Shhhh” She laughed, putting a finger to her mouth. “You’re a phone, remember?”  She giggled a bit more.

 

“When my mom asked me to help set the table, and we didn’t come out for a while?” He nodded. “She _gushed_ about you. How terribly cute and incredibly attractive you are, and what great taste I inherited. She was quite vocal and giggly about it. I think she’s very happy for me.“  She smiled softly, thinking about the girlish and excited expression her mother had worn.

 

His returning grin was radiant. “Cute and attractive, huh?” He winked at her, while picking up stroking her stomach again. “Well, I wouldn’t call myself _cute_ exactly, now…”

 

“Well, _I_ think you’re cute.” She grinned up at him.

 

He frowned a bit. She laughed at that. It seemed he obviously couldn’t see himself from that angle, what with the vigilante superhero thing he got going on, going after alien monsters at night and teasing helpless high-school kids about their grades all the time.

 

“I push people away that come too close to me, kill Cardians at a nightly basis and my idea of flirting was to get you mad at me all the time. If that’s _cute_ to you…” He said, following her train of thought exactly.

 

She chuckled but pushed his arms off her momentarily to get off the bed and put out the lights, their surroundings once again only filled by moonlight.

 

It made him look aerial on the bed, she thought. _Mama certainly got the_ attractive _part right…_

“Well, “ she spoke softly “It was definitely very cute how nervous you were to meet my parents. So I do see where she’s coming from” She climbed back on the bed, crawled to him slowly and straddled his middle, grinding into him for a moment, at which he groaned deeply. She smirked at him. “Also, you seem rather smitten with me. That’s also very cute.”

 

He wordlessly pulled her to him and began kissing her as softly as he could muster.  

 

L

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that is the groundwork basically done. I view last chapter as kind of the turning point of this story; I used it in order to skip the very first honey moon phase (or at least to fast-forward it via Mamoru’s summarization and take on it) to be able to now have them go into all of this truly together, experience and figure out what’s coming at them together.   
>  Getting more into the meat and potatoes of this story from now on…


	10. Chapter 10

L

 

First days in a new school were something Makoto Kino had always found exceptionally hard, and to have one so soon after _just_ having enrolled into High School in the first place was particularly hard on her. At least the last time it had been many people who had felt the same way as her – unsure, looked upon, talked about.

 

Now though, she was on her own, in her new – kind of chic, she had to admit, better than her old one –  dark blue bowed school uniform of Juuban High School, being introduced to a class that had obviously heard the rumors if she based it on the way most of them were looking at her – and each other – warily, maybe even a bit intimidated.

 

The day had gone by very quickly nonetheless – as stressful situations often tended to do – and she had been introduced to many of her new teachers and not so many of her new classmates, who had huddled together and made her feel very unwelcome, so she’d gone out and sat on the lawn on her own to eat her bento by herself instead of even trying to engage with them – she wasn’t in the mood to defend herself.

 

One girl had stood out though. ‘Tsukino Usagi’, she had introduced herself, with the friendliest and most open smile Makoto had ever seen on any person. It threw her a bit; she’d felt her heart flutter for a second.

 

Usagi had plopped herself down next to her, chatted a bit with her about this and that –  inconsequential chatter for the most part. If she’d cooked that herself and if she could try some (Yes, of course; and the girl had, upon tasting, looked at her as if it was the best thing she’d ever tasted in her life and Makoto had blushed and felt flattered and gave the girl some more only so she’d feel that intense feeling she had when being validated all over again), that she heard she did martial arts and if she would ever be willing to train with her (Yes, of course, you do Jūjutsu as well? I’m a black belt! Took me only 4 years; at which Usagi’s eyes had widened in admiration and Makoto had felt that flushed happy feeling again), about what they’d be doing with the rest of their day (she’d be  spending time with her boyfriend, and look how adorable he is, that’s the text he just sent me! And she introduced him to her parents a few days ago, it was so sweet the way he was so nervous! The girl had been gushing).

 

And when she’d left again, with that full smile, to go back to classes, Makoto had had the strangest feeling she’d ever felt. She knew it had only been a short interlude of an interaction, but in her gnawed that sudden feeling of belonging; and then later when Usagi waved at her after classes when they both exited the building at the same time, Makoto felt that she’d just made the first truly meaningful friendship in her life.

 

It was going to be a very sunny day, she could feel it in her bones.

 

She’d watched Usagi then, the way her eyes lit up _even more_ than she’d seen them do during the day when she skipped towards this undeniably gorgeous guy leaning with his book against the school gates.  A bit too scrawny for her taste maybe, but definitely gorgeous.

 

The kiss the two exchanged – very innocent in itself, yet the _tenderness_ with which those two touched each other made her throat constrict and she had to look away.

 

So she’d passed them by and exited the school grounds while the boy took Usagi’s hand and they began strolling at a leisurely pace behind her. She couldn’t help but look back over her shoulder towards them – they were deep in quiet murmured conversation, attention solely trained on each other yet when she looked at Usagi her gaze suddenly met hers mid-sentence and Usagi broke into a smile and waved, yet continued talking to him while pointing at Makoto.

 

Makoto blushed and hurried away.

 

Usagi had obviously been telling her boyfriend about her, and pointed her out while they talked. It was the first time in her life she’d felt warm and tingly about being talked about in her life.

 

L

 

Mamoru huffed heavily, having landed forcefully on his knees, his arm bended at an uncomfortable angle behind him by his very smug looking girlfriend.

 

He let his body glide down to the floor and lie flat on his back, panting, for a moment, in defeat. She giggled and he picked himself up, propping his palm on his knee and hefting his weight upwards to stand in front of her.

 

Doing that, his gaze was aligned with her chest for about a millisecond, trying, helplessly, not to get too distracted by that tiny, way too tight sports bra of hers – it was _nude-colored_ for god’s sake.

 

He looked away, blushed a bit and fell back into a fighting stance.

 

They’d returned to his apartment straight after he picked her up from school. His sparse furniture had been pushed back to the walls to give them more room, yet they utilized any surface in the room anyway, jumping from the kitchen counter, hefting themselves up from the side of the couch, etc.

 

 The plan was to train for about an hour and then go to the arcade, see Motoki and get some studying done (the latter was his plan of course, she just wanted to play video games) before they went up to her house for dinner, like they’d done all these previous days this week. His heart skipped a beat at the thought.

 

There hadn’t been a time in his life he could remember he’d ever felt welcome at a family dinner before.

 

He shook his head, shaking the thought, and concentrated.

 

Kicking off his feet he came at her – full force, he’d long since learned his lesson to underestimate her and hold back, and anyway, the point of this was to challenge her so she would learn, and as her power only fluttered when her body at least felt the slight possibility of danger, holding back on her just wouldn’t do.

 

And she had no trouble holding her ground anyway, he knew that.

 

He cornered her against the wall – she had no way to flee, and he sprang at her with all his power and speed. Had he touched her, he would have crushed her under him, but of course he couldn’t get at her. She’d ducked minimally and push-kicked with her leg extended towards his lower stomach, using his own momentum with the angle that she used so that he lost his footing and stumbled backward. Before he could catch himself again she’d already dropped to the floor and swept his feet from under him.

 

He landed back on his back, where they had started, and she gave an excited and proud squeal.

 

He didn’t know any Jūjutsu other than the basic beginner’s course he’d once taken, before having switched to other, more brutish forms of martial arts that utilized his strength. He’d viewed it as a mere form of self-defense back then, had prematurely written it off as something only used by people who didn’t have the muscle power to do anything else. He couldn’t have been more wrong, he saw now.

 

In the beginning, when they had started, he’d still been able to overpower her easily – measured in terms of force he _was_ way stronger than her – but she’d had ample time to get familiar with his movements, fighting style and entry-points, and she’d found a counter to almost any of them by now with this style that she used.  

 

She stood head and shoulders above him in their sparring at this point.  This kind of combat training they were doing – almost daily – was getting harder and harder for him. She was starting to overpower him every time now.

 

They fought differently; he used force, and she used speed. Physically he was stronger than her, and yet she won.

 

He laughed, dryly, accepting her extended hand that helped him up. “Seriously. I’m beginning to think you should be teaching _me_. There’s barely anything you can learn from me anymore, I think.”

 

“It’s still fun.” She twinkled at him. He snorted, grabbing the towel that lay across his couch to dab it at the back of his neck.

 

“Because you’re winning.” He deadpanned and she shrugged with a smug smile.

 

He was proud of her. _Extremely_ proud of her and he knew she could feel it. Yet he also knew that in most of these battles, combat training was in fact the last thing that helped him – some of these Cardians were so big there was no way she would be able to sweep them off their feet in the way she could do with him so easily, even if one only counted those that _had_ legs in the first place.

 

He sighed. “Let’s try your powers again.” He sat down at his couch and she followed him.

 

He sat facing her, one leg dangling from the couch, the other crossed under his knee in order to sit directly across from her, and she mimicked him, although she put her other leg up as well, sitting cross-legged in front of him.

 

She held her hands out for him to take and closed her eyes.

 

 _So trusting, so routinely_ … he thought with a warm pang in his heart and shook out of it, concentrating.

 

He took her hands and held them securely in his, placing them atop his knees and closed his eyes as well.

 

He took a calming breath and let his consciousness spread out towards her, letting himself sink fully into their bond. Immediately he was so much more aware of her body than he had just been a second before, which had been greatly as it was.

 

He could feel her pulse as if standing in a rushing river – still slightly rushed from the exertion as well as from their proximity. The blood, pulsing through her body, pumping towards her heart, the mix of dopamine and serotonin piercing through her system – due also to a combination of their exercise and the effect he had on her.

 

He could feel her trying to calm down as well, her emotions fluttering - wary, determined, frustrated at herself.

 

“Shhhh” He hushed. “Try not to think of anything at all.”

 

Rummaging even deeper through her sensations, deeper than he usually ever allowed himself to go with anyone, deeper than he even ever went into himself, he came towards the now familiar pit of light in her, pure energy he could feel in her. _Her powers_. So fundamentally different from his,  so _vast_ , and so much greater. “You’re so much stronger than I am…” He murmured under his breath.

 

She growled, frustrated. He could practically feel what she was thinking, so immersed in her sensations. ‘If I could _control_ them.’…

 

He concentrated further on her pit of light. Trying to pinpoint it as best he could, and then he did, and he held at it fast, bringing it to the forefront of his own emotions, so she might feel them too.

 

“There.” He whispered. “Do you feel it?”

 

“Mhmm.” She hummed, anxious again.

 

She tried to grab at them and he tried to instruct her in his deep voice, attempting to soothe her. He felt it; he felt her concentrate so hard, every sensation in her body trained on this task to grab at these powers like she had done once before with his sword.

 

Nothing. She was too riled up, too anxious, too eager, and she couldn’t get a hold.

 

She exhaled loudly, her eyes springing open and frustrated tears sprung to her eyes.

 

He let go of her senses and let their bond dim to its usual intense connection, beginning to feel parts of himself again.

 

He let go of one of her hands and cradled her head with it instead, bringing her face towards his chest and held her. She grabbed at his sides and heaved a few frustrated sobs into his sweaty black workout T-shirt, before letting go of him.

 

“We’ll try again tomorrow.” He whispered at her, trying to reassure her. Of course, he himself had no problem with the possibility that she might never be able to wield them as she wanted – he hoped, of course, that it might get her off the thought of endangering himself. But he couldn’t stand the way she beat herself up over it, the way it made her suffer. So he’d go on helping her as best he could.

 

She nodded mutely and held out her hand. “C’mon, we should get ready. I _do_ still want you to play Taiko with me.”

 

He smiled and rolled his eyes at her, yet took her hand. They showered and Mamoru packed a few books into his bag and a few others out of it and did the same with a bunch of clothes. A new change of clothes went into his separate bag, another went out and into his laundry basket. He didn’t bother with rearranging the furniture – they wouldn’t be spending the night here anyway, and this way they wouldn’t have to set the place back up the next time they sparred here.

 

They exited his apartment building hand in hand and she went straight for one of the vending machines a few paces away from his apartment complex.   

 

She got them both a can of soda to share – the sun shined mercilessly on them and they were both fairly exhausted from their sparring session. She tried, unsuccessfully, to open the flap but didn’t manage.

 

He took the can from her wordlessly and opened it, effortlessly, and shook his head at her in wonder; Tuxedo Mask getting overpowered in combat by a girl who’s too weak to open up a can. Only his Usako.

 

He chuckled at her and she scrunched up her nose at him adorably, then took a sip from the frothy drink she’d bought and offered it back to him. 

 

They walked towards the arcade in comfortable silence, sharing her can back and fro between them, when suddenly he felt the presence of a Cardian, gripping his insides with fear.

 

It had been overdue, of course. It had been weeks since the last attack.

 

Their eyes flew towards each other, startled.  

 

Hers took on the most determined expression, but all that came to mind for him was the image of seeing her trapped, suffocated, by that last Cardian. He panicked.

 

He grabbed at her arm. “ _Please.”_ He almost howled, desperately. “Don’t. Don’t come.”

 

She looked at him with wide eyes, so eager, so determined, her mind set. It scared him even more.

 

He fell to his knees in front of her. Begging her. He didn’t care how it looked, he just had to keep her _away_ somehow. Frustrated tears sprung to his eyes, just like hers before, and he let a few fall, uncaring, he was in panic.

 

He buried his head into her stomach and clutched at her. “Please, please, _please_ go home, Usako. I can’t have you in these battles.” He ground out, muffled by her shirt, desperate. “If something happened to you... You’re my home, Usako. You’re my family. You’re all I have and all I ever want to have.”

 

“Mamo-chan—“ She tentatively touched his shoulder, at a loss. And he felt it, her _need_ to help, that feeling of hers of _belonging_ in these battles.  

 

It scared him, it terrified him, it angered him. His face steeled and he got up, yet didn’t let go of her. “I _can’t_ lose you.” He hissed at her, sternly this time.

 

They were running out of time. He could feel it and he knew so did she. He growled in frustration.

 

“Can’t you see, it’s _my_ responsibility.” He almost yelled, feeling frustrated and helpless towards the determination he felt coming off her.

 

“ _No_. It’s _not_.” She glared at him. “Can’t you see I feel the same seeing you walk into danger when I could _help_. You said it yourself. I’m _stronger_ than you.” She hissed.

 

He exhaled shakily. He had to go, _now_ , the Cardian was already attacking. But he also knew, if he went now, he could do nothing to prevent her from following.

 

They both started talking at the same time-

 

“You can’t control your powers—“

 

“I promise I won’t be reckless—“

 

They both stopped and glowered at each other. Then Usagi did what he had feared she would do in the first place. She ran for it.

 

He cursed and followed her. She was so fast, he couldn’t keep up again. He ran after her as if running for his life and still he couldn’t catch up to her.

 

In a matter of minutes, they were at the scene of the attack, and Usagi, to his horror, ran straight into the middle of it.

 

They were in a tunnel of some sorts. Protected, at least, he sighed, from the media. It reminded him of the time they had attacked the school bus a couple months back, that too, had taken place in a tunnel, and thus he had had less room to fight, not being able to jump away from the thing so freely, yet this tunnel here was even smaller, pedestrian.

 

The Cardian – a pinkish sort, floating on what seemed like a petal leaf, with four heads and clad in orange, was extracting energy from yet what seemed to be another couple – they were clutching at each other, yet paralyzed – with some sort of powder that drew it out. Both looked to be almost unconscious.

 

“HEY! Stop that!” Usagi yelled as she came at it. He felt her concentrate, trying to reach calmness  in her adrenaline ridden body, like they had tried to teach her for days. But to no avail, she was too affected by the situation.

 

He had no idea when he had transformed, hadn’t noticed it at all, but it was Tuxedo Mask that finally got a hold of Usagi, and not Mamoru.  He yanked her behind him by the arm, roughly, and she clawed into his upper arm in response.

 

Incidentally, the Cardian had stopped when Usagi yelled at it. Just, seemingly not because Usagi seemed a threat to it, but because somehow, and to Mamoru’s deepest horror, Usagi wet its appetite way more than the couple sprawled on the floor did.

 

The Cardian produced a massive beam of energy and directed it into their direction.

 

In a split second movement, Tuxedo Mask had turned around, facing Usagi and pushed her with him towards the wall of the tunnel. She hit it hard, and he steeled his arms around her and against the wall, pushing off of it to block Usagi from the painful energy blast that was now freely hitting his back.

 

Usagi cried out his name, trying to push at his chest to let her free, to let her help, and it hurt, it hurt so much, and he felt part of his energy being drained,  but he _needed_ to shield her from this, he needed to keep her _safe_.

 

She was trying, he could feel it, she was trying so hard to reach into herself and into the reserves of energy and power he felt roaring just underneath her surface.  He cried out, he didn’t know how much longer he could take, but he _had_ to keep her safe.

 

And then, suddenly, for the tiniest moment, Usagi got a hold on her power, and she grasped at it, like a person drowning reaching for the lifeboat. The crescent moon he had seen on her the last time appeared flashing across her forehead, and with it she eminated a blast of energy,extending around her widely, so warm, so healing, pushed him aside, so easy now, as if dropping a doll, and directed it towards the Cardian.

 

 It evaporated instantly.

 

Both of them were panting harshly, and she crumbled to the floor onto her knees, drained of power, fatigue taking her over. He scrambled forth across the floor and caught her.

 

He let his consciousness thaw out to check on the other couple – unconscious but alive- and with the sirens coming closer he picked Usagi up and fled the scene.

 

A few yards away, on a stretch of open grass next to a train track, anywhere– he hadn’t been looking where he went in his turmoil, Usagi had come to.

 

“Let me go, I can walk.” She had whispered, and he had only reacted in clutching her tighter towards himself.

 

She sighed deeply but didn’t fight the matter, and he resumed his walk, de-transformed with her still in his arms and walked back towards their original ulterior direction – her house. It wasn’t late at all, the incident had been over so quickly and the sun was beaming at them, as if it was just any normal sunny afternoon.

 

She felt his emotions practically explode underneath the surface, although to the naked eye he looked completely calm, if only for his very strongly set jaw.

 

She didn’t disturb their silence for a while, until it got too much for her and she growled at him.  

 

“Don’t even think about ending this so I am away from all this.” She whispered angrily and he hissed, but held her – if it was possible, even tighter. “I will be there no matter what. We are in this together. And you will help me train my powers or you will watch me fight untrained. It is your choice but mine is made.”

 

His emotions, she wasn’t surprised, didn’t calm down for the rest of the day.

 

L

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN:  
> So yeah. In this universe where he’s so used to fighting alone and she only gets into the fight AFTER they already get together I reckon it would be kind of hard for him to accept the fact that she would join the fight. As in; not underestimating her but simply being scared witless – Wanting to protect everybody but especially HER and all.   
> So that’s where we’re at. I can’t imagine he wouldn’t struggle with this.  
> But I’ll get him to come around eventually, I promise!  
> Let me know what you think!


	11. Chapter 11

L

 

He was mad at her. He was livid; she could feel it boiling in him.

 

They didn’t talk for the rest of the day yet he didn’t budge from her side once, afraid danger would turn up that she’d jump into, all the while obsessing about the fact that he needed to get away from her, to get out of her life, so she wouldn’t feel this suicidal need to protect him from what was _not her_ responsibility in his point of view.

 

Dinner at her house was a strange affair. Her parents had picked up, of course, that they kept glaring at each other, but said nothing. “Everything alright?”, Ikuko had asked Usagi, concern on her face, when they had cleaned the dishes afterwards, breaking a long silence.

 

“I did something he thought was dangerous.” Usagi mumbled.

 

“Was it?” Ikuko raised her eyebrows.

 

“Yes.”

 

Ikuko frowned hard. “He’s right then. Don’t do it again.”

 

“He’s not right. It’s my decision what I do and don’t do.”  She angrily wiped at the- long dry- bowl with her towel.

 

“Right.” Ikuko said, taking the towel from her daughter’s hands. “Go upstairs and do your phone thing. You two have things to discuss.”

 

“But—“ Usagi started.

 

“Go upstairs honey. I can practically imagine him pacing the length of your room from here.” She looked at Usagi pointedly.

 

Usagi’s eyes widened in shock. So her mother _knew_ he was not a phone.

 

“Just go upstairs” Ikuko smiled warmly, and with only a slight nod and a peck to her mother’s cheek, Usagi went up without another word.  

 

Incidentally, her mother was right of course. Mamoru was pacing her room like a caged tiger.

 

He looked up at her and stilled when she entered the room. She locked her door behind herself, sighed deeply, steeled her shoulders and turned to face him.

 

They stood like this for a moment, both glaring at each other across the room.

 

Mamoru broke first, ran an agitated hand through his hair and slumped down heavily onto her bed, letting his head drop into his hands, his elbows on his knees.

 

She walked towards him, lowered herself to her knees in front of him, but didn’t touch him.

 

“I’m terrified, Usako.” He whispered.

 

“I know.”

 

They sat like this for a while, until Mamoru had calmed down enough to at least look her in the eye again.

 

He exhaled heavily. “How would you even go about it.” He started. “You don’t have a transformation for starters. You’d be in the public eye immediately without a disguise. People will find out. Your father is a journalist for god’s sake.”

 

“Well, then I want one” She shrugged at him. As if it were that easy.

 

He laughed, dry and humorless. “Can’t picture you in a Tuxedo, exactly.”

 

She rolled her eyes at him but smiled softly.

 

“Well, how do _you_ have a transformation. How does it work.” She cocked her head.

 

He sat up a bit straighter. “I don’t know how, I—“ He stopped, and looked at her.

 

He briefly closed his eyes, and she could feel him concentrate. Then the air seemed to pulse and flutter around him, changing color and texture for the briefest of moments, and when he opened his eyes again he was clad in his Tuxedo Mask costume, top hat and all. He took off the latter, as well as his mask, and put them on the bed next to him. Usagi touched his mask in wonderment.

 

He swallowed. This, transforming in front of her, _for_ her, something he was so used to hiding, felt somehow almost more intimate to him that being naked with her ever had.

 

She took him in carefully. Realizing, even though she’d seen him in the garb up close twice now, that she’d never truly _looked_ at it. And then she realized how many times she’d seen him in the distance, in battles, and in pictures in the media. She could pick Mamoru out in crowds from any person, any aspect of him, be it his voice, his smell, the exact color of his hair. How could she not have noticed it was him?

 

She hadn’t noticed that she had spoken the last bit of her thoughts out loud, when he replied.

 

“I think it’s some sort of glamour. Some strange magic that prevents people from recognizing me in it.” He shrugged, uncomfortably. “I once saved Motoki. Carried him away from a Cardian. He didn’t notice a thing.”

 

“Huh.” She said, her brow furrowing, and touched the garment of his pants. It felt completely normal. “How does it work, then?”

 

“I don’t know how it works. It’s just there. It wasn’t a conscious decision to become Tuxedo Mask, I just was.” He said softly.

 

“Why the name?” Usagi asked.

 

He patted his top hat next to him with two short knocks on top of it.  “I didn’t name myself that. The media coined that term. I just used it afterwards…” he trailed off.

 

 “So you didn’t do anything to make it happen?” She said, her hopes falling a bit.

 

“ Well…” he said, swallowing. “I have this locket.” He drew a star shaped golden object from the inside of his jacket and handed it to her. She touched it with careful hands. It seemed oddly familiar to her. Then she recognized the golden chain on it – she’d seen him wear this lots of times.

 

She clicked it open, and from it came, very softly, a melody that was oddly familiar and touched her in the deepest way she could fathom. As if tugging at a deeply buried memory.

 

“I think it’s from my parents, I’ve had it all my life. Though somehow I always connected it to you… dream princess-you, I mean.” He looked her in the eyes, and swallowed again, his adam’s apple bopping irregularly.

 

He took the locket from her hands and clicked it shut, the music silencing abruptly.  “Anyway. In the beginning, I used this to transform. I was like you – I could feel the power, but I couldn’t direct it. The locket helped me, as a medium of some sort to channel this strange power I felt.”

 

He closed his eyes again, and the air vibrated once more before he sat before her again in his dark button down and dark blue dressy denims. “By now I can transform without it, and also utilize my powers consciously without the transformation, if not as strongly. But the disguise still comes in handy, so I use it.”  

 

She nodded, breathing slowly and deeply. “So I need a medium.”

 

He sighed and got up again, the nervous energy returning to his limbs. He started pacing again and clawed his hand into his hair.

 

“I r _eally_ don’t like this, Usako.” He whispered defeatedly and softly, as if to the air.

 

She got up and walked to him, and wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing her face into his shirt. He stood unmoving for a moment before he wrapped his arms around her shoulders in return and held on for dear life.

 

They stood like this for a while, hanging on to one another in the middle of her room. She could feel the desperation in him, as if it vibrated off his pores.

 

“We need more efficient ways to teach you to concentrate your powers.” He said, and it felt to her as if he gave in to her.

 

To say she was relieved put it very mildly, and she knew he could feel it. His head slumped a little lower onto her shoulder.

 

“Naru once told me about this priestess at the Hikawa shrine nearby.” She spoke in a very small voice into his shirt. “They say she has spiritual powers and could make people see strange visions or something. I’m sure they are all exaggerating, but maybe it would be good if I learned to meditate from someone that knows what they are doing…?”

 

He sighed and stroked her hip with his thumb. “Let’s go there tomorrow…”

 

 

L

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as you might have noticed, I'm crossposting this^^
> 
> So, from now on, this story is up to date here with FF. Everything new from now on is new there, too!
> 
> You'd give me very very many happy feels if you let me know what you thought of this story so far.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the last one was short, but this one’s extra long ^^

L

                                                  

They walked up the many stony steps hand in hand, the torii gate ahead of them marking the entrance to their destination: Hikawa Shrine.  

 

The shrine seemed as if deserted, the sound of crickets stridulating hung in the air, two crows were perched on the pavement a little ways beside the main building of the shrine, pecking at corn strewn on the ground.

 

He could see the shrine maiden they were looking for in her booth immediately. Sitting alone, no customers or helpers. She wore the traditional red and white garb of a Miko, and seemed to be quite pretty, if one went for the Japanese beauty standard. She sat in front of dozens and dozens of charms that, at least today, no one seemed to buy and looked a bit dejected, he found.

 

Usagi next to him suddenly gave off flustered vibes. Nervous and tightly bound, her heart sped up a little, her palm that was clasped in his hand turning slightly clammy. He looked towards her, a bit confused. Was there something he missed? Did she sense something about that girl he didn’t?

 

He looked at her pointedly, expectantly, though not voicing the ‘What??’ he put into his look.

 

Usagi blushed. “Sorry, but she’s like, the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.” She said a bit sheepishly.

 

He blinked at Usagi, put off, and looked back at the priestess, brows furrowed. She was pretty, alright, but to him the thing that stood out most about her was the rather cool and closed off air about her. Attractive yes, but… no bubbly sunshine to be seen.

 

Usagi, though, was still blushing wildly. “Do I need to be worried?” He smirked at her.

 

She rolled her eyes at him and he could feel her heartbeat had returned back to normal.

 

“Let’s just go talk to her, eh?” He said, still smirking.

 

They walked up towards the booth and stood in front of it. Usagi was about to address her, when he could feel the priestess suddenly freeze, her heartbeat accelerate, and adrenaline push to the surface. It took only a moment, and she was up on the display with one leg, reciting traditional words—

 

 _„— sha, kai, jin, retsu, zai, zen,_ akuryō taisan!!“

— And with a yell pushed an ofuda forcefully towards Usagi’s head.

 

Usagi stumbled, unprepared, and Mamoru could catch her before she fell over backwards.

 

His head whipped around and he growled at the priestess. “HEY!”

 

He saw the Miko’s eyes go wide, and with an expression that seemed genuinely regretful she shook her head erratically. “Oh god, I’m so sorry, I thought—“ Then her look turned somber, while Usagi had taken the ofuda off and looked at the other woman perplexed, yet open as always.

 

“What do you want.” The Miko said coldly.

 

Mamoru set his jaw.

 

“Um,” Usagi said, and he admired her a bit in the way she could still look so open and friendly towards the rude girl. “We… My friend recommended you for teaching, uh, meditation?”

 

The priestess said nothing, just looked at Usagi in this cold, calculating manner.

 

Usagi glanced at Mamoru, a bit unsure, and then back at the girl. “Um, I’m Tsukino Usagi” She bowed quickly, and then extended her palm, openly, pointing towards Mamoru. “And this is Chiba Mamoru.” He didn’t bow, and Usagi frowned at him.

 

The silence between them was so thick he could practically feel it looming in on them.

 

The girl frowned at Usagi. “Come back tomorrow.” She said curtly.

 

“We’re here right now, you don’t seem so busy.” Mamoru said, a bit harshly.

 

Usagi threw him a look.

 

A beat, then she tossed her hair over her shoulder and shot Mamoru a glare. “Fine.” She bit, and turned abruptly. “Follow me.”

 

They looked at each other, he a bit angry, she a bit befuddled, but they both followed the girl to the main building. They slipped off their shoes and hurried after her – she hadn’t stopped to wait for them – into a big and open room, where, beside a great fire she stopped and pointed towards the tatami mats. “Sit.” She ordered.

 

They both did, yet Mamoru’s scowl turned darker by the second.

 

She sat as well and began to chant in a low voice, and then without further ado instructed them in their meditation. Mamoru himself was too riled up to really participate, and instead focused on what the priestess did: because to his surprise, on Usagi it seemed to have the desired effect. He felt her calm down and reach into herself more with every passing minute. He thought if he paid close enough attention to what it was the Miko was doing to get her there, maybe he could copy her and they would never have to return to this place again.

 

When Usagi’s posture seemed to slip a bit the girl reprimanded her and Usagi tried to right herself but seemed to fall – while sitting, something that could only happen to _her_ , he thought bemusedly – and tumbled forward a bit, then giggled and sat back into the cross-legged position.

 

But to his surprise, the Miko had also cracked a smile at Usagi, and looked at her with an expression that almost seemed a bit amused.

 

The scowl on her face didn’t return after that.

 

She chanted and instructed Usagi a bit more – she didn’t even bother addressing Mamoru, having obviously noticed he wasn’t taking part, and after long minutes – they seemed endless to Mamoru –  of silent meditation she guided Usagi out of her state of mindfulness calm and nodded curtly.

 

That seemed to be her way of telling them to go.

 

He looked back at Usagi and she looked at him, then at the girl. Usagi bowed deeply and thanked her politely and asked if she may come back sometime.

 

Mamoru sighed. So did the girl.

 

After a moment, she said to Usagi, “Rei. My name is Rei.”

 

Usagi smiled at her, full sunshine beam, and Mamoru shook his head, a bit baffled by her smile. “It is very nice to meet you, Rei.”

 

He noticed the girl, Rei, flush a bit and bow in farewell, and Mamoru led Usagi out by the small of her back. At the entrance, where they slipped on their shoes, Usagi leaned back into the big room and gave Rei a big and friendly wave.

 

The brunette Miko smiled at her tentatively, a bit guarded.

 

They exited the building and then the shrine. He slipped his hand back towards hers and they walked in silence for a bit. He really didn’t know what to think of this experience, and he really didn’t like the shrine maiden.

 

Usagi broke the silence first. “I like her.”

 

He stopped abruptly and threw her an incredulous look. “What?” He said. “She was _so_ rude to you.”

 

“She reminded me of you…” She said in a quiet voice, and then looked up into his eyes. He opened his mouth to protest, but she hurried to explain herself. “Like, in the very beginning? She has that same haunted look in her eyes that you had…” She bit her lip, and then turned her gaze back up front, staring into the distance.

 

He looked at her, suddenly at a loss for words.

 

“And she seems so lonely, alone in that temple.” She said, her voice adopting a sad hue.

 

He swallowed, looking at her sideways.

 

He stopped and turned towards her. After a pause he spoke.  “I love you, you know?” His voice was carried by a very slight, almost unnoticeable tremor.

 

Her eyes snapped to his, a bit confused yet amused, obviously not knowing what she had done right now to deserve the declaration.

 

He slipped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her into a tight hug, and she let her arms snake around his middle in return.

 

They stood like that for a little while, in the middle of the street, his chin resting on the crown of her head, and he pondered how she must most probably be the kindest person in the world, it was almost unnerving. And how he’d do anything to keep her and that innocent smile of hers safe.

 

“Umm..” He started after a moment, not letting go of her in the slightest. “Do you, maybe, want to go on a date with me? Tomorrow? After my biochem meet-up?”

 

She turned her head upwards in their embrace, trying to peer up at him while furrowing her brow. She obviously didn’t understand why he would be nervous all of a sudden. “I see you every day, you do realize that, yes? We go to the arcade almost daily.”

 

“No, I mean like, a real date. A restaurant maybe.” His throat was dry, and really, he didn’t know either why he was nervous suddenly, but he felt that abrupt need to want to please her.  “To take our mind off…all this mess, if you want?”

 

She sighed contentedly. “I’d love that.”

 

He didn’t let go of her.

 

After a while she tried to extract herself from him but he held on. “Mamo-chan?” She asked up towards him, mumbled into his chest.

 

“Mhm?”

 

“We need to go. We’re gonna be late for dinner.” She said into his shirt.

 

“Mhm.” He mumbled as a confirmation, yet didn’t let her go.

  


L

 

 

Makoto sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. Last period and if she had to take another second of hearing Seijuro mansplain the poem they were currently dissecting to Usagi she would flip.

 

 _‘It’s about_ love _you dimwhit, not power,_ she _got it right the first time, not you.’_ Is what she’d wanted to shout at him for the good part of this period, and she would have if it didn’t mean she’d have to admit to eavesdropping on a conversation that was being held half a room away from her.

 

So she just balled her fist instead and growled a bit under her breath, making the poor little sweet boy who sat next to her (Umino? She couldn’t remember exactly) a bit uncomfortable and skittish.

 

Outside, she noticed, the weather was mimicking her mood, as it sometimes did. A patch of big stormy clouds were forming over the school grounds.

 

Truth be told, that Seijuro-guy gave her the creeps. Something about him – and that didn’t even include the over-the-top and at the same time utterly condescending tone he held when talking to Usagi every chance he got and thus effectively keeping Makoto from getting a chance to talk to the girl most of the time – was just _off_. She couldn’t pick her finger on it. But she didn’t like him, that she knew.  

 

And it _wasn’t_ because he was hogging Usagi all the time. At least she liked to tell herself that.

 

She sighed, listlessly taking down notes.

 

She felt this irresistible pull towards Usagi, and she didn’t know why. She knew it _wouldn’t be_ attraction and yet… it was. There was nothing _romantic_ about her feelings, but still she felt as fluttery about the girl as she’d felt about her senpai any day, and it made her feel even more confused. It was _different_ , but it was _there_ and she couldn’t explain it.

 

It felt to her, unnervingly, as if her whole being called out to Usagi, wanted to be near her, care for her, keep her safe.

 

She shook her head, eyes wide. This was so crazy; she’d just _met_ the girl.

 

Needless to say, never ever in all her life had she wanted to befriend someone as badly as this small little happy-go-lucky person.

 

It made her nervous, it made her flustered, and she didn’t know how to act on it. Especially because Usagi behaved so very naturally towards her, had befriended her from the first second without any reservation or judging whatsoever. She wanted to be closer, but she didn’t know how to approach her.

 

Also, Usagi had so incredibly _many_ friends. She was sure the blonde didn’t see it, but it was as if the whole class gravitated towards her. _Everybody_ liked her, even the teachers, and from what Makoto could see, that _definitely_ didn’t come from Usagi’s academical achievements. And Usagi treated everybody with the same cheer and friendliness, no matter how little or well she knew the person…

 

Makoto just didn’t know how she of all people could compete.

 

The bell rang, signaling the end of a school day. She sighed, relieved.

 

She looked up. Usagi a few rows in front of her to her left was scrambling up her belongings happily. As if sensing that she was looked upon she turned around and caught Makoto’s eye, broke into a smile and waved cheerfully.

 

Makoto blushed. She was about to get her nerve and approach Usagi, when the blonde was immediately surrounded by a group of her friends. Naru, whom she’d seen around Usagi a lot but hadn’t talked to, but had heard her name said around the school ground nearly as often as Usagi’s, a few other females from their class she couldn’t remember her name of, the little boy with the glasses that sat next to Makoto, and that Seijuro-douche that lingered around her however much Usagi obviously tried to be nice but declining.

 

She was relieved when Seijuro got pulled away from Usagi by his catty sister and they left.

 

The rest of the group all left the building together at a slow pace, chattering away while Makoto walked behind them at a distance.

 

They stopped at the school gates and talked for a bit – some of her friends had already broken from the group and Usagi hadn’t yet hopped happily into her boyfriend’s usual waiting arms and now that Makoto thought of it, he was nowhere to be seen yet. Was Usagi waiting for him?

 

She felt awkward, wanting to participate but not knowing how to go about it so she started to pass them by and go on her way when Usagi looked up and straight at her.

 

“Mako-chan!!” She yelled happily and waved her over.

 

Makoto flushed at the nickname and looked at her feet for a moment that made their way towards her voice, as if automatically.

 

When she’d arrived she stopped beside the group awkwardly. Groups of people made her nervous, however small the group, and she always felt she stood out like a sore thumb, usually towering over her peers one head taller than pretty much all of them, even some of the boys, just like right now. But Usagi was obviously having none of it and pulled her by the crook of her arm right beside her and into their small circle, and beamed at her and then at Naru. “Look Naru, here she is. I swear she makes _the best_ bento in the world, like you wouldn’t _believe_ —“

 

Makoto blushed again, when she was formally introduced to Naru and Umino (so that _was_ his name), and the two spoke with her in such a friendly matter she thought they wouldn’t have if it hadn’t been Usagi that introduced her.

 

They small-talked for a little way, strolling along forward –If she learned to cook professionally somewhere, if she wanted to be a cook in the future, where she got those cute earrings from. No talk of having been kicked out of school for once, but about something she really liked to talk.

 

Then Umino and Naru turned the corner and left with big friendly waves and Makoto was left alone with Usagi, strolling down the sidewalk.

 

Makoto realized with a start that they’d long left the school gates behind. She looked at Usagi. “Isn’t your boyfriend picking you up today?”

 

The pout Usagi’s face fell into instantly was so big and adorable Makoto almost had to giggle about it.

 

“No.” Usagi mumbled. “First time since we got together that he can’t, he has a late study group meet-up.”

 

Seriously, that was the biggest puppy-eyed pout Makoto had ever seen, and so she did end up laughing about it and patted Usagi on the back sympathetically.

 

“He’s picking me up for a date, soon though, so it’s ok…” She said, as if reassuring herself, nodding to herself.

 

“So you guys like… spend _all_ your time together?” Makoto asked in a way of making conversation.

 

Usagi nodded happily and then blushed when Makoto looked at her oddly. “You think that’s weird, right?”

 

“No! No!” Makoto said quickly. Truth be told, she’d spend all her time with Usagi too, if she could.  “Just… intense?”

 

Usagi’s eyes became even warmer. “Yeah.” She smiled. “You could say that…”

 

Usagi beamed into the distance and then looked back at Makoto. “Well, this might sound really weird and all, but we both like, are very aware that anything could happen? Like, an accident, or something else really bad, and so we want to… spend all our days like it’s the last?” She said, looking at Makoto while scratching her head and scrunching one eye shut.

 

Makoto looked at Usagi peculiarly. It sounded sweet, and right, though… She sighed. She wished she had people in her life she _could_ spend all her time with.

 

Lost in thought both walked a few paces in silence.

 

After a while she felt Usagi look at her oddly, as if she wanted to ask her something but didn’t dare to.

 

“Mako-chan?” Usagi asked.

 

Makoto blushed. She wouldn’t get used to be called so affectionately so soon. “Yes?”

 

“Can I ask you something?”

 

Makoto smiled. “Of course!”

 

Usagi bit her lip. “It would be a favor though. A big one.”

 

Makoto looked at her encouragingly. It was weird, but she didn’t think there could be anything in the world that this girl could ask of her that she’d think she wouldn’t do for her…

 

“You said you’re a black belt… Mamo-chan and I do martial arts, too, but we fight really differently, so I thought… Would you train with me, or sometimes with the both of us? Like regularly?” She asked, hopefully. “I realize that’s asking a lot to spend so much time with me, but—“

 

“I’d love to!” Makoto interrupted her avidly and then flushed and resumed talking in a tone that was a bit more flustered. “We could start next week if you wanted? Monday? You can bring your boyfriend and I’ll look at what I can do for you?”

 

Usagi squealed then, and threw her arms around Makoto.

 

And Makoto felt like it was her that was getting the favor, not Usagi at all.

 

The storm clouds that had previously gathered over the general vicinity of Juuban High had completely cleared away.

 

 

L

 

 

Usagi changed outfits three times, feeling ridiculous. They’d been together for almost a month now, he’s known her forever, he knew all her clothes, he knew her without her clothes, and this wasn’t their first date by a far stretch.

 

But she hadn’t seen him in _forever_ – practically TEN HOURS! since they parted this morning– which she realized wasn’t much at all but it was the longest they’d been apart since they got together save for that one night last weekend that he spent cramming for that test while she had to help her parents prepare for Shingo’s birthday party and so they ended up spending a night apart(and it was hell! They vowed to never do that again! Sleeping alone was for people who aren’t them!) So she was missing him terribly, if ridiculously and it made her wonder if he missed her too and worry about what she should wear to their date.

 

She made her way downstairs,  shouted a goodbye to her mother over her shoulder only to run straight back to the living room and tell her with the biggest smug smile she had going that they wouldn’t be home for dinner tonight, that Mamo-chan was taking her out on a date.

 

Her mother didn’t seem surprised. “Oh, I already know, honey.” She didn’t look up from her magazine but giggled. “He asked for permission. Left the business card of the restaurant he’s taking you for emergencies and everything. It was very sweet and adorable.”

 

Usagi blinked, surprised, and her mother continued.

 

“You need to tell him though that that’s unnecessary. He wouldn’t listen to me. He can take you anywhere you two would like to go, you two don’t need to ask permission, just tell us in advance so we don’t worry, yes?”

 

Her mother still wasn’t looking up when Usagi fell on her and kissed her on the cheek, but blushed slightly to her daughter’s murmured “You’re the BEST!” and shooed her out the door.  

 

So Usagi made her way across her part of the city towards Keio – wondering for a second why it took so long, hadn’t Mamoru always claimed it was right around the corner? – and stood just outside the massive and beautifully arched main entrance of Keio University and its adjourning Library.

 

He came straight towards her, looking completely unsurprised of seeing her there even though they’d arranged a different time and place, and she glided seamlessly into his arms.

 

She sighed in relief upon contact, and he chuckled into her hair in response.

 

“I thought I’d be picking _you_ up?” He smiled at her, voice tinted with utter affection.  

 

She shrugged at him. “I missed you.” She told his shirt.

 

They stood like this for a moment, until he broke away from her a miniscule amount to be able to bend down to her, bring his hand up towards her face and look her in the eyes.

 

He skimmed his knuckles gently along her cheek and reveled in the beam directed at him from her. To think that only a few weeks ago he wasn’t allowed to touch her like this… “Hi.” He whispered at her, smiling ever so softly.

 

Together they walked to the nearest Metro station – Mita – and made their way to Shibuya.

 

It took them a while, because they missed their stop where they had to change Lines because of cuddling and had to go back, and then he made a show of insisting she always be in front of him when they traveled up escalators and behind her when traveling down escalators lest she fall and break her neck which she found ridiculous at first, but then she promptly fell when arguing it (He caught her of course). So _she_ made a show of making them go up and down and up the same escalator again and again to show him that that had been an accident caused due to his fault in the first place for distracting her, but on the way she found she rather liked the placement after all, cause it made their heads align and kissing easier, as she was almost as tall as him when standing a step higher on the escalator (almost, he was still taller, even then).

 

All in all, it took them a while to get there, but they ended up arriving in Shibuya.

 

The restaurant he brought her to was on a small uphill street in Udagawa, Shibuya, behind the tall towering Tokyu Hands building. It didn’t look like much at first: a small glass door in between houses, fogged up from the inside. He led her up the steps to the first floor and into a small room and a soft gasp escaped her lips.

 

The place was magical. As if stepping into an Enid Blyton book – the entire ceiling was covered in waves of soft white see-through fabric that hung like a canopy, small wisps of ivy in between colorful lanterns with lit tea candles were hanging from them, emanating warm light. The tables – all mismatched and different, so were the chairs, armchairs, and couches –  were separated by low white bookshelves, which in turn again were covered all over by candles. In fact – the candle light and the blinking neon lights from outside that shone blurry through the fogged up large window front were the only sources of light in the room, illuminating it in a warm, soft glow.

 

She stood with her mouth hanging open.

 

“Do you like it?” Mamoru stood smiling behind her, hands in his pockets, shoulders slightly raised.

She turned around, mouth still agape, looking at him incredulously, as if wanting to say, ‘Do I need to _answer_ that?!’

 

He chuckled at her. “I thought you’d like it. When you first took me to that cupcake place all those fairy lights there reminded me of this place here.”

 

She shook her head, still in wonderment. This was the single most beautiful place she’d ever been to.

 

He grinned at her, leading her to a table by the small of her back. “Wait until you’ve tasted the food.” He winked at her and her eyes grew wide.

 

He led her to a small table in the back where they both sat cuddled next to each other on a narrow but very comfy couch, and she ordered dessert first and ‘real food’ (as he called it) later, only to switch it with his dessert then halfway through her pasta (she had food envy, his chocolate mousse cake looked so much better), and then proceeded to top it off with another dessert (cause what’s the point if you don’t try them all).

 

They talked about this and that in a constant chatter, with their mouths full and while waiting for their food; about Rei (“I really don’t understand why you’d want to go there again” - “She’s nice underneath all that armor, you’ll see.”) and what Seijuro did again today (He _really_ didn’t like that boy), or about the people in his study group (“Well why _don’t_ you hang out with them more?”-“How would I go about asking them?!” – “Well, by _asking_ them!”), and Mamoru kept having the same feeling all though-out:  like any moment would forever only qualify as well-spent when she was near.

 

It made him afraid; so so very afraid.

 

He’d always been alone. He’d always hoped for someone to make him less alone. He wasn’t prepared for this panic he felt at the thought she might leave him behind again.

 

He _really_ couldn’t stand the thought of her fighting. It made him nauseous just to think of it. And it wasn’t even only the fear of being left alone: He knew without a doubt that he’d jump in front of any danger she might encounter, just so she would live. And he figured death was a very lonely affair, too.

 

It was just that he didn’t want to imagine a world where Usagi wasn’t in it.

 

He pressed his face into the crown of her hair for a moment, and she grew silent; feeling his sudden change in mood.

 

He sighed and turned to smile at her, he didn’t want to think of this again, really, and he didn’t want to bring it up again. At least not now. This was to take their mind off it all, after all.

 

“Do you ever think of the future?” He asked instead.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

He leaned back and snaked his arm around her, leaving the rest of his ( _her_ ) pasta forgotten on the table, while she happily munched on her third dessert.

 

“I mean- where would you want to live, what would you want to do… Do you have plans yet?” He said quietly, stroking the side of her hip with his thumb.

 

“Well, I wanted to be a housewife when I was 14, but now… now I want to help.” She said.

 

He got the underlying meaning of that and sighed. But she only looked at him apologetically, and went to explain.

 

“I’ve wanted to help ever since it started… seeing Naru... But I couldn’t. Still it made me think what I could do, like in the long run, you know?” She leaned back against him, bringing her plate with her.

 

“So I thought police first.” He looked at her horrified, he couldn’t think of a more dangerous job for her. At his look she hurried to continue, sheepishly. “But I’d be rubbish at that, I know. So then I thought social work? It’s like… I mean I don’t actually _really_ want to _fight_ exactly. I could do without the _fighting part_. It’s scary and horrible,… But what I really _need_ to do is help, does that make sense? I just want to _protect_ the people that I love and this world, I _need_ to do this so I can _help_ …“

 

She looked at him and he urged her to continue. “So with social work…I could help families that need it the most… or kids that go into bad shit…or even orphaned kids…” She trailed off looking at him with eyes so full of emotion for him and he smiled at her.

 

“Anyway… You see, I thought of police first because they fight criminals – or the ‘bad people’… “ She made air-quotes with her fingers and talked on, “and I thought fewer criminals less suffering but then…  The police can’t do anything to prevent bad things from happening in the first place, but in social work I can help the victims _and_ most importantly even prevent some people from becoming so alone and desperate and dispatched that they would do stupid things in the first place ... make them see there is good in the world.”

 

He looked at her sideways. “So you want to help the bad people?”

 

She pursed her lips and thought for a while. “I think… I don’t believe there _are_ bad people. Not _truly_ anyway… I think there are just _people_ , and some of them _do_ bad things  - horrendous things - and behave badly because of reasons... but they don’t _come into the world bad_ , and maybe I could help them so they don’t do these bad things in the first place or at least not anymore.” She said, worrying her lip. “Is that so strange to think?”

 

“No.” He smiled at her tenderly.  “It’s wonderful that you think this way…. Maybe a bit unique. It’s a very generous world view.”

 

She scrunched up her nose.  “Is that really so unique? Aren’t there other people who think like that, too?”

 

“Rousseau. “ He said, touching her nose gently to de-wrinkle it. “Philosopher. He said humans are naturally peaceful beings, and it is society which corrupts them to aggression.”

 

“Right.” She nodded to herself, once. “Then I’m with that guy.”

 

He chuckled at her, took her now empty plate from her to place it on the table and wrapped himself around her more fully.

 

She took a breath, thinking and turned in his embrace to place her head on his chest. “Well, all in all… I think I want to help people who are in need of help … and I always want to be the reason someone smiles. That would be what I want to do.”

 

He shook his head at her, a bit amazed, and smiled. He shouldn’t have been surprised. She was the kindest person he knew after all…

 

“Also, I _know_ I can put people at ease some, everybody always says so. Shouldn’t I use that?” She said, and then let her voice drop an octave.“’With great power comes great responsibility’ and all?”

 

He frowned at her, confused, and her eyes widened.

 

“What, you’ve never seen _Spider-Man_?”

 

He shook his head. “No?”

 

She looked at him with wide eyes that held some considerable pity and a fair share of disbelief in them, then shook her head slowly as if to scold him, but decided – it seemed a hard task – to let it slide and instead settled back into him.

 

“But I don’t know. It’s just a thought. I don’t know yet. I could become anything.” She said. “Also I want us to live here in Tokyo in a really cool apartment with an accessible roof top that we can make into a garden to share with all our neighbors so we can have huge get-togethers with a brilliant view.”

 

He chuckled, and reveled a bit in the fact that she phrased it a ‘we’, not an ‘I’.

 

“Are you still eating that?” She nodded at the pasta.

 

He raised his eyebrow at her. “They’re cold now. And you didn’t want them.”

 

She threw him a look as if he was talking nonsense. “I never said I didn’t _want_ them. I just wanted _your_ food _more_.”

 

He snorted and waved his hand in a _‘Be my guest, go ahead’_ kind of manner, then watched her sigh happily over lukewarm pasta as if she hadn’t eaten anything yet. He smiled amusedly.

 

“Please let’s always go on food dates, please?” She said with her mouth full and her eyes happy and he smiled at her and nodded and found her so adorable and ridiculous and so _Usagi_.

 

They left the way they came then, Usagi gushed about the interior some more, and as they already were in Shibuya and the night was still very young they decided to linger around. He watched her twinkling eyes when they browsed through the Manga section of Village Vanguard, and relented with groans and protests when she asked with this utterly hopeful, exited and gleaming look in her eyes “Purikura?”.

 

And he found himself – he would so much like to hide it but he couldn’t cause she could feel it and looked smug about it – somewhat enjoying the whole thing. The way she practically draped herself around him for the tiny miniature photos, got into all these weird kinds of positions that he had to outright laugh at her, the way she leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed him sweetly for that one photo. He won’t say it but that last one was the nicest picture he’d seen of them together yet and he asked her to please not edit _that_ one but leave it as it was instead and she smiled and only edited the others with sparkly stickers and font.

 

They exited the shop – it was underground, so they had to walk up its staircase – and he stowed the photos carefully in the woolen pockets of his cardigan. She was so happy she practically beamed and for that it was all worth it of course.

 

He took her hand and kept in step with her and together they walked back towards Shibuya station in relative silence until he broke it.

 

He looked down at her. “So what about these Cardians?” He asked under his breath.

 

Her gaze became questioning and a bit befuddled. “What about them?”

 

“Do you think _they_ are bad?”

 

She scrunched up her nose again. “That’s different… they’re not people. They’re just something the people need to be protected _from_.” She said with a determined hint in her voice.

 

“But what if there’re people behind them?”

 

She frowned. “Well, then it still applies. Only then we’d need to figure out why they do it so we can change it.”

 

She sighed, cocking her head and looked up at him. “Also, I didn’t say that I think everybody’s naturally _good per default_ , either… I just believe that no one is inheritably and irreversibly _bad_.”

 

He nodded mutely.

 

They went down the tunnel towards the Ginza line (she didn’t protest anymore to stand behind him on the escalator and instead slung her arms gleefully around him from behind immediately and sighed happily about the sudden yet temporary adjustment in height) and went forward to stand in line and wait for the next train to approach with what he felt might be half of Tokyo’s population around them. Shibuya station was always _so_ crowded…

 

That was his thought when suddenly he felt that tingling spark of danger deep in his gut, and, gripping Usagi’s hand tighter in alarm, right in front of them yet further down the platform, a Cardian appeared.

 

Hell broke loose after that.

 

 

L

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN:
> 
> So, I might need to point out at this point that my favorite season back since the beginning in the 90s has always been Stars (luckily we did get that here back then) – both arcs, Nehelenia AND Galaxia, even THOUGH there’s barely any Mamoru in it. And that was because those two arcs really drove the point home for me HOW incredibly deeply Usagi believes there can be good in ANYONE – even those who killed/kidnapped/brainwashed her loved ones. It shaped me a lot as a person to see her think like that as a kid and it’s the thing I love most about her.
> 
> I know it might seem I’m channeling a lot of Manga Usagi here (especially because I AM channeling Manga!Mamoru and Manga!Rei a lot), but the Usagi I’m really thinking about here is the matured 16-year-old Stars-Usagi that believes there’s always good to be found SOMEWHERE.
> 
>  
> 
> ALSO:
> 
> Someone I talked about this with a few days ago said I’d make them seem a bit way clingy, and that Mamoru especially wouldn’t be so clingy.
> 
>  
> 
> Just to clear that up just in case: I write them like this for a reason, it’s absolutely on purpose. Cause to me, it would make absolute sense that if you’d run not only into the love of your life but your *soulmate* whom you’ve got some back-of-your-head-knowledge of already having *lost once* in a previous life, to be a little or a lot-and-extraordinarily clingy.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, I know Mamoru isn’t portrayed that way in the anime and Usagi is always made to be seen as the more clingy one, BUT HE’S A LONELY ORPHAN THAT ALWAYS YEARNED FOR SOMEONE TO LOVE HIM! If *he* wouldn’t be clingy I don’t know who would.
> 
>  
> 
> (Also a reason why it always irked me a bit that he’d so absolutely willingly go off to America without her. Like, not that he SHOULDN’T, but there was literally an episode in early R where he talked to Motoki how selfish he found it of Reika to go study abroad and leave Motoki behind. )
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, /rant. ^^
> 
> Would like to hear your thoughts on that, too, though! And also on what you thought of this chapter. It’s a cliffhanger, I know, I’m sorry, but I’ll update soon!


	13. Chapter 13

L

 

 

What was happening around Usagi and Mamoru could be easily described as mass panic. The amount of people fleeing from the destroyed train and the platform– so many people, terrified, screaming, crying, stumbling over one another in the panic to get away – were trying to escape the narrow tunnels of the Ginza Line platforms of Shibuya Metro station.

 

A Cardian was amidst all this, having ripped through the walls of a shredded train car wall – had it appeared there and slashed its way out or had it trampled its way in to get towards its victims? – she wasn’t sure. What she _was_ sure of: That thing was giant, and appeared to be _growing_.

 

An alarming thought in a confined space.

 

Mamoru, beside her, was trembling with anxiety; fear for her and worry about the amount of people present. Also, she realized, there was no way he could transform _here_ among all these people.

 

People around them were screaming, feral, shoving into them, dragging them with them if it weren’t for Mamoru bracing himself against the ongoing current of running people and holding onto Usagi tightly.

 

It appeared to be some form of reptile, complete with a long thick tail, reminding her for a moment of a sort of dinosaur. It had big, thick scales covering all of its body in a dark black that shimmered green under the crackling lights of the ripped Neon lights above it, that it had broken when having grown – in mere moments – as tall as the ceilings even though it just fit in the train car.  Sparks were thrown on it from the junctions where the cables above its massive head had broken. The scales, she saw with a bite of fear, were charged with electricity, emanating tiny bolts of blue light, it’s purely black beady eyes making the thing look even scarier than it already was.

 

With an earth-shattering roar it emitted a sort of energy field – a pulse that ripped through the masses of people around it – some of them dropped instantly. This obviously was its way of draining energy.

 

Mamoru and Usagi looked at each other in alarm.

 

She could feel his need to push her back, get her away, shove her from him and let her be carried into the masses and away from the Cardian. He was trembling with fear and determination. Mostly for her.

 

She steeled her look. They had talked about this, she wouldn’t fight this again.  “I’m not going. You said you’d let me help.”

 

He looked petrified for a second but then his jaw set. He gripped her by the arms and looked her in the eyes and talked to her with an urgency to his voice that threw her. “There _is_ something you can do.” He said and nodded towards the exit tunnel, completely blocked by the panicked masses that were trying to escape. “Find a way to the metro personnel, a pusher, anybody with a connection to their operational headquarters. Make them _stop_ the trains in _all_ directions. I’ll try and push the Cardian into the tunnels.”

 

She nodded, mutely. He was right, this was logical. They had to safe all these people. She set her jaw and ran towards the thong of people. In the back of her mind, where her connection to Mamoru whirred, she could feel him drop into the pit of the train tracks in the front part of the platform – where he’d be hidden from view for about a moment –  and transform, only to jump behind the train and attack from the other side of it.

 

Like a madwoman Usagi dashed towards the crowd of crying desperate people blocking the way of the exit in their panic, thronging through them.  The stopped briefly for the first pusher she spotted but continued on – he was here, on the platform, but as panicked and out of it as anybody else and she didn’t think she’d get through to him to act as fast as she needed acting.

 

So she pushed on – with force yet careful not to hurt anybody in the process and _somehow_ she made her way out rather quickly and unscathed, and ran frantically towards the first group of personnel she saw – they were shouting, muddling, trying to help the people escape.

 

“STOP THE TRAINS!” She yelled at the top of her lungs, grabbing at one, and though she screamed as loud as she could he barely heard what she said over the noises of panic around her even though she was shouting it straight into his face.

 

He attempted to calm her down, thinking she was another person in shock, telling her in a soothing yet loud voice that _of course_ they’d already stopped the trains in this tunnel, but Usagi interrupted him.     “No. Not just this tunnel. _All_ the tunnels connecting to Shibuya. Tuxedo Mask is in there battling it but the Cardian _grows_. The tunnels _will_ collapse, the whole systems around here might.” She grabbed at him urgently, willing him to understand.

 

And he did, his eyes grew wide, panicked for a second, but then he collected himself and started shouting instructions to his colleagues and to the walkie-talkie that hung from his belt.

 

Satisfied that he’d understood the urgency, she jumped right back into the crowd despite the man’s attempts to keep her from it. Right back into the panicked masses, and going _against_ the stream of people streaming out with fear was unsurprisingly even harder than pushing through it in the first place. But  the adrenaline discharging through her nervous system  and this deep fear that Mamoru might need her made it possible and she found herself back on the platform – still impossibly loud yet so much considerably quieter with more people having dropped to the floor – their energy drained and more people already having escaped.

 

The Cardian wasn’t on the platform anymore but she could hear the cracking of the walls in the tunnel, the sound of electricity discharging and the hum in her body that meant Mamoru was nearby and fighting.

 

So she ran towards and into the tunnel, completely illuminated by the electricity that thundered from the creature’s scales.

 

It was so _big_ now, crouched in this tunnel, the tail as big as a train car in itself.

 

She was behind it and Tuxedo Mask in front of it. He wouldn’t see her of course, yet by the change in his emotions that she felt through their bond – a quick charge of fear – she knew he realized she had returned.

 

He was hurt, she could feel it, so without any logic or sense to it she did what came naturally:

 

She jumped on its back and held fast onto its scales.

 

She felt the electricity of it burn away at her hands and knees where she touched them but held fast and felt her crescent moon flash across her forehead as if in answer or to protect her, she didn’t know how, yet she was charging energy against the threat in front of her.

 

It howled but wasn’t severely injured and it flung its tail with her on it heavily. Her hands still connected were paralyzed, the burnt skin peeling away bloodily, but she hung on as it pushed its tail deeper into the tunnel. Behind her – where she’d only just stood and entered – the walls crumbled and the tunnel collapsed and she was flung forward forcefully.

 

She landed only paces away from a battered looking Tuxedo Mask on the floor, the walls around them shaking dangerously.

 

He limped towards her in an instant, grabbing at her and pushing her away from a crumbling block of concrete. With a start she realized the state he was in: The whole left side of his leg was burnt as her hands and knees were, a huge head wound bleeding on the back of his head, gashes, as if from giant claws, bleeding openly from the ripped front of his formerly white shirt.

 

The head of the creature disappeared through the ceiling, walls still crumbling around them, and with panic both of them realized that it was escaping to the street, having broken out of the tunnel.

 

Tuxedo Mask cursed loudly and pulled her away from another falling block of rubble.

 

He groaned. “Its weak point is its eyes but they’re protected by a force field. I can’t get at them without simultaneously destroying its energy center beneath its tail.” He ground out, wincing from the pain in his side.

 

He grabbed her hands. She realized a moment too late what it was he was doing – he was healing her burnt hands. _No_ , she wanted to scream at him, _heal yourself first, you need it more._

 

But then she realized something and with widening eyes, she grabbed his hands right back.

 

She had a grip on her powers, and the way he let his energy flow into her hands, healing her, she could grip at _his_ powers too, just like he always did with hers when he tried to help her reach them.

 

She did, and she concentrated, and the most intense burn of energy she’d ever felt bubbled between them, between their clasped hands.  He was startled, torn between trying to get closer to her to keep her from harm and getting away from this power for a second before he realized how _warm_ it was, how _good_ it felt.

 

Forming between their hands the surge of energy began to take form, and with a light that glittered, exploding, around them, appeared a small heart shaped compact. Red, framed golden.

 

 _A medium_ , was Usagi’s first sudden thought.

 

They looked at each other for a beat, perplexed, and then Usagi tightened her grip on it.

 

With words whispered that she had no idea where they came from and why she knew them ,she was enveloped in the warmest, brightest, prism of light she had ever witnessed that wrapped around her form like ribbons.

 

It only took a moment, and then she stood in front of Tuxedo Mask in a fuku – short, white, red and blue –  just like those the warriors in her dreams wore.

 

He looked at her, dumbfounded, and she looked back, both of them in shock.

 

But she realized, and so did he at the same time, that she had an easy grip on her powers now, just like he did on his.

 

There would be no impulsive explosion of power today that left her behind powerless and without energy. She could _control_ them like this.

 

The walls around them shook again and the Cardian, they saw, had now escaped outside, and a cacophony of hundreds of frantic screams and yells could be heard from the street up above, even louder than the platform had been before.

 

In its wake the tunnel collapsed completely now, and Tuxedo Mask jumped at Usagi and flung her with him towards the opening in the ceiling.

 

They landed on the asphalt just outside, the Cardian already a few meters away – heading, they realized with panic in their exchanged look, towards the most heavily trafficked of all crossings the city had to offer in the most popular neighborhood of Tokyo during its most crowded hour of the day; it was late evening, early night, and thousands of people were currently located at Hachiko Square, Shibuya.

 

And it was still _growing_.

 

It hefted itself onto its legs, the giant black-greenish scaled tail swooshing and lodging itself into the silver tower structure of the Shibuya 109 department store building. Electricity broke and sparks flew from the rubble where it had torn a huge gash in its wall, screaming people beneath scrambled for safety.

 

Most people ran, screamed, fled, others stood shocked, paralyzed, others again stood out of spite, training their phone cameras on what was happening.

 

It roared again, splitting the air, and the pulse that came with it flung hundreds of fleeing people through the air, with a throb that pushed them forward heavily, cutting off the oxygen in the air for just a moment.

 

The screams got even louder.

 

She could feel Tuxedo Mask struggle beside her, the emotions – the sheer _panic_ \- of all the masses of people clawing at him, affecting him.

 

 Usagi was calm – she didn’t know _why_ , but she _was_. She _knew_ she could and _would_ safe all these people so she took his hand, in an attempt to share this emotion she felt, and he reacted.

 

He was still so afraid, for her, for these people, she knew it, yet he looked at her, first as if in admiration and then with a decisive expression, nodded almost unnoticeably and together they rushed towards this giant monster of a Cardian.

 

They moved as if synchronsized – Usagi blasting off a swell of energy that encased the  Cardian momentarily – paralyzing it long enough for the people closest to it to be able to get away. Tuxedo Mask turned and pulled a boy onto his shoulder that would have been hit by the falling rubble and pushed him into the boy’s crying mother’s arms.

 

Drawing his sword he looked at her, and she looked back at him with the resolute and tenacious expression of a warrior in action.

 

“I take the eyes. You take care of the power center.” She said, and he could only nod.

 

It only took mere seconds after that.

 

He got a grip on her waist and hurtled her up towards the sky with all his strength, and while she was soaring through the air he had dropped underneath the giant belly of the Cardian and buried his sword deep into the folds of the base of its tail. It let out a roar, yet the surge of electricity fell silent and ebbed away just in time for Usagi to land on its snout and not be electrocuted in the process.

 

She flew at its eyes and while the clouds opened and a beam of moonlight fell right onto her, she willed her powers to form in her hands and pushed a wall of warm – so _warm_ – energy into its face, so easy now, so controlled.

 

It exploded in a wall of dense fog.

 

She fell, but Tuxedo Mask was there, jumping up towards her, catching her mid-air. It was like gliding into his embrace, as if they’d never done anything else.

 

He landed back on the pavement, Usagi in her fuku in his arms, among hundreds of people with mobile phone cameras trained right on them.

 

The energy around them changed. Where there had been screaming before it started to ebb into cheers, shocked crying and shouts. People stopped running, fell to their knees with tears, exhaustion and _relief_ , such relief. Ambulances were rushing in and so were police cars and media. People around them were starting to shout questions both at Tuxedo Mask and at Usagi.

 

They only now noticed the amount of camera crews and reporters already on site – most likely having arrived beforehand for the coverage of the Cardian when it still only had rioted underground.

 

One of them, Usagi saw in a short moment of trepidation, was her father; his colleague and right hand Sato just beside him.

 

She stilled, looked her father right in the eyes over all this noisy commotion, but to her wonderment, she didn’t see a flicker of recognition in his eyes.

 

Tuxedo Mask was about to rush them away from the scene, she could feel it, but she pushed at his chest with one hand and he gently – so _tenderly_ – placed her on her feet.

 

They were still shouting questions at the two of them, closing in on them. One she picked out from all the noise. _‘Who are you?’_ It might have been her father, she liked to think it, but she wasn’t sure.

 

They were about to flee, Tuxedo Mask and she, but at this question she turned around, and started talking, in a loud, sure voice. “We – Tuxedo Mask and I, are here to protect all of you.”

 

More questions, tumbled together to form an indistinguishable wall of static noise, but one, again, she picked out. _‘What’s your name?’_

 

She blinked, her gaze flowing up the moon, the warm glow it seemed to emanate just for _her_ , helping her, and thought of the warriors she called Sailor Senshi in her dreams.

 

Her answer was a mere whisper against the pandemonium, but there were enough people who heard her.

 

“Sailor Moon” She said.

 

L

 

Halfway across the world, Minako was startled from the magazine she was reading on her bed, when suddenly, the brightest light she’d ever witnessed illuminated her small apartment.

 

It was gone as fast as it came, retreating to its source.

 

Minako yelped and crawled to the foot of her bed.

 

The source had been her kittens.

 

She gathered them towards her. They were shivering, mewling frightened, and on their foreheads glowing golden crescent moons had appeared.

 

With a start, Minako remembered something. Something so obvious she didn’t know why it had

taken her so long.

 

She remembered, suddenly, what the V she had adopted stood for.

 

 

“Venus” She whispered, in wonder. “It stands for Venus.”

 

Dazed, she tried to calm down her screaming little balls of fur, not having the slightest idea what just happened here.

 

L

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah. So I made a Godzilla Cardian.   
> In the middle of Hachiko square in Shibuya.   
> Because I could and because I had fun with it.   
> Also, I needed one that started out small enough that it could fit in a tunnel so Usagi in Usagi form would be protected from the media but then big enough so it would break everything and everyone would see Sailor Moon after no body having seen Usagi. So eh.   
> Also, I chose the Cosmic Heart compact and its associated incarnation of Sailor Moon because it’s the one in the series that even* there* actually came from their combined powers and their love and stuff and not from Luna.   
> So I hoped you liked it, as I was very nervous about this scene while writing it ^^


	14. Chapter 14

L

 

 

She couldn’t describe or untangle her emotions. And if she hadn’t been so very aware that he wasn’t faring much better at the moment she would have asked him – as she sometimes did – to explain those feelings of hers to her.

 

As it was the emotions she could name in the mix were those: Disbelief, about what had just happened, euphoria, about what had just happened, anticipation, about what would happen from now on, fear, about what would happen from now on, horror, when thinking about the state she’d seen Mamoru in just now and that she might ever have to see him this beaten again, worry, about the people that might have gotten hurt, and underlying it all a constant baseline of shock.

 

And one emotion that was missing from the jumble, one she’d been so used to by now: frustration.

 

She’d never felt so alive. It scared her, but she felt so much like this was what she was meant to do: Protect all these people, act, be there for all of them.

 

She wasn’t sure if Mamoru was entirely aware of how strongly he was gripping her hand.

 

They’d been walking like this for a while, in silence, worked up, and seeing as they’d kinda destroyed their way of transportation tonight, they’d still be walking for a while.

 

She was startled out of her thoughts by her vibrating phone. Glancing at it her eyes widened – she had 39 missed calls on it. She picked up clumsily, fumbling, putting the phone to her ear hastily.

 

“Mama!” She yelped into it, stopped walking and Mamoru turned towards her, flinching. Yeah, he hadn’t thought about letting them know they were alright either. After all her parents knew they were in Shibuya at the time the attack happened. “I’m _so_ sorry!! Things were kinda… eh, crazy there right now.” She cringed. “We’re alright. Everything’s alright.” She looked up at Mamoru and cringed some more into the phone. “No, no, we’re fine. Nothing, er… happened to us.”

 

Mamoru sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

 

“Yes,… yes. No, we _are_ on our way back, except that we’re walking…. Yeah.”

 

They resumed walking while she continued talking to her mother. To say her mother had been worried was an understatement, seeing as she knew not only her daughter but also her husband at the scene. She reassured her and quickly said goodbye, telling her they’d walk to an area that was unaffected enough from the incident so that at least the busses were still running there, but it might take a while. And that they’d just been so worked up by what happened she wasn’t even aware anymore that such a thing as phones and an outside world existed … which was totally true.

 

When she hung up Mamoru beside her slipped an arm around her and hugged her to him, pressing a kiss onto her temple. “I’m sorry.” He said. “I didn’t even think to… The thought hadn’t even occurred to me.”

 

She frowned at him. “You like to take all the blame, Mamo-chan… you’re not to blame.”

 

He sighed.

 

She slipped her hand back into his and he immediately gripped it in that tight way again and she nudged at him to continue walking.

 

After a little while of further silence he said in a quiet voice, “Sailor Moon”.

 

He wasn’t addressing her, he wasn’t even asking. It was more like testing the sound.

 

He knew of the Senshi in her dreams, he knew first hand how the moon seemed to affect her. The name wasn’t surprising in the least, it was just new.

 

Instead he asked her about a different name.

 

“Why does your mother call you her ‘moonchild’?” He whispered to her.

 

She thought of this for a moment. Honestly, it was hard to pinpoint; her mother had always called her this. Hundreds of stories came to mind that her mother used to tell her, of times she had scared her parents witless by running out in the middle of a night during the full moon to dance delightedly in its light, telling her parents not to worry, the moon was there and it would protect her. Of how they’d had to recite the names of the planets to get her to calm down as a baby when she was upset. Her mother had always found it adorable, given their last name.

 

And she’d been born during a full moon, too. It had been a particular hard birth, her mother always pointed out. Usagi had been born prematurely, and was sick very often as a baby, and her mother always swore she had the feeling that the moonlight had seemed to protect her during all of it.

 

“Umm..” Usagi started. “My Mama named me Tsukino _Usagi_ because I was born on a full moon, in the first place… and she used to say as a kid I only ever answered to the moon. I was kind of obsessed with it as a kid. Hence all the moon and bunnies paraphernalia I guess?... I don’t know.”

 

He nodded, but didn’t say anything further, just kept clutching her hand as if she’d disappear if he didn’t.

 

She broke the silence with a timid voice after long heavy moments. “So… “, she started, glancing at him sideways. “Are you… okay with this?”

 

He sighed, and stayed quiet for a while. She was beginning to think he wasn’t going to answer when he started talking quietly.

 

“I’ll be honest… seeing you on the front like that, in danger, will _never_ be easy for me. _Ever_. It’s like... you’re _so_ eager to protect anyone it makes me so absolutely terrified you’ll do something reckless…” He trailed off, sighing heavily and raked his free hand through the hair that fell into his eyes. His face appeared to be neutral yet his _eyes_ – she would have recognized the fear in them even without their bond between them.

 

 “But…” He sighed again, even more deeply this time. 

 

She looked up at him. “But?” She urged.

 

He turned his face to look down at her, looked her in the eye with a deep accompanying breath and at least the attempt of a smile. It came out more unsurely if anything else. “I can see you’re made for this. You’re much more powerful than me, and well, I’m man enough to admit that?”

 

His hand found its way back to his hair, he was almost pulling at it.

 

He looked back into the distance. “So I guess… I’ll just have to make sure to protect you while you protect everybody else. “ He breathed quietly.

 

She slowed to a stop and he looked back at her. Then, without a word, she lifted a hand up to his cheek, got up on her tiptoes and kissed him, softly.

 

He kissed her back, sighing into it, relieved, like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders by the touch of her lips.

 

 “Thank you.” She whispered against his mouth.

 

He pulled back and sighed. “Don’t thank me yet. I don’t guarantee I won’t freak out again.”

 

She smiled up at him.

 

Then he frowned at her. “At we’ll step up on the training. Structure it more. Maybe get some professional guidance if we can be discreet about it.”

 

She nodded, eagerly. Anything to put his nerves at ease she guessed, and also, it wasn’t like she didn’t _know_ she still had so much to learn. “You know… Mako-chan’s a black belt. I already asked her if she’d be willing to train with me and maybe train us both? Say it’s a hobby?”

 

He nodded, deep in thought.

 

“And we should go back to see Rei-chan. She really _did_ help me that one time.” She added.

 

He pursed his lips, but nodded again.

 

He rubbed the back of his neck and then half-smiled at her sideways. “Well… ready to have a sidekick, Sailor Moon?”

 

She smiled and giggled, and rubbed the back of his hand. “Not a sidekick.” She said, immersed in stroking his hand, smiling at it and then looked up into his eyes. “We’re partners. We’re a team.”

 

This time he smiled fully,even though with that sad hue still in it, and pressed a kiss to her forehead. She sighed happily.

 

L

 

He woke up suddenly from a sharp jab into his stomach by her elbow. He was disoriented for a second, wanting to protest when he noticed she wasn’t actually awake. Blinking he tried to dodge her next blow – erratic kicking of her legs – and then quickly slung his arms around her from behind, bringing her closer. He put his mouth to her ear, hushed her in a lone humming tone and rocked her carefully.

 

She was having another nightmare. Lately her dreams had focused much more on the violent parts of it, the bloodshed and destruction. They came more frequently with every Cardian she encountered. Though he assumed it wasn’t the Cardian’s presence per se, but the fact that she used her powers. They were tugging at buried memories.

 

He could relate – his were getting stronger, too. And the images that surfaced lately were those of dying, or more precisely put: already having died before – both of them.

 

She woke up from his low murmured voice and for a moment thought she was still in the dream that had somehow turned out nice after all until she realized the warmth she felt were his arms. She exhaled heavily and let herself be gathered up by him fully.

 

Outside, birds were already chirping merrily, the sky was bright and blue, her alarm read 6:15.

 

“You okay?” He whispered to her and she nodded.

 

Still he continued stroking her hip and belly in a soothing way, feeling her pulse calm down and her breath get deeper. He could feel her getting calmer and pressed a kiss to the back of her head, closing his eyes and breathing in the scent of her hair.

 

He hated that she had these nightmares, too, but he loved that he was allowed to calm her down from them. 

 

He nuzzled her neck and felt her heartbeat return to normal. “Anything new?” He checked.

 

She shook her head no and then turned around in his embrace and snuggled further into his chest, fully intent to going back to sleep, just as he was moving his body to get up.

 

“ _Noooooo_.” She wailed into his chest and slung her arms around his middle in a death grip, holding fast.

 

He chuckled yet relented and lay back down. It was a few minutes until he attempted the task again.

 

“ _Noooooo_.” She cried again and tightened her hold.

 

He let long, tapered fingers glide into soft golden hair and cradled the back of her head as carefully and gently as he was able and then pulled her into a feathery light kiss.

 

She was about to deepen it, sighing into it happily, but he let go and touched his forehead to hers. “I need to get up so I can pretend to pick you up for school extra early? We wanted to get up in time to grill your father for information about last night?”

 

She huffed. “That was a very silly idea of us to get up early. We shouldn’t do that.”

 

He laughed, the vibration resonating on the mattress slightly, moving her along. “C’mon.” He said and started to pull the blanket away from him.

 

She then flipped over quickly and pinned him to the bed by arranging herself on top of him and around him.

 

“There.” She said triumphantly, snapping her legs in a tight pinch around his middle and placed her head on his shoulder and by the crook of his neck. “Can’t leave now. We can just talk to Papa tonight at dinner.” She whispered and kissed his collarbone in a kiss so light it made him shudder for a second.

 

She noticed his change in mood of course, grinned at him, and proceeded to treat his neck the same way, nuzzling it, covering it in soft kisses. He groaned. She knew how sensitive his neck was.

 

“You’re not playing fair” He moaned when he felt Usagi’s small soft hands trace his sides in long, lingering strokes, accompanying her ministrations on his neck.

 

It was either get up now or let this spiral out of control. He was already getting affected by her growing arousal.

 

Also, it confused him, yes, but the befuddled state of last night left him wanting, too. He’d been so terrified for her safety he felt the acute need to ascertain she was still _here_ , and also, there was this side in him which he was slightly ashamed of that was really, _really_ turned on by having seen her acting so confidently and powerfully last night.

 

He growled, feeling the inevitable spiral of loosening control between them – her sensations affecting him and his affecting hers which were affecting him again. All by a few kisses to his neck and feather-light touches to his hips.

 

He closed his eyes, breathed deeply and then swiveled his legs out of the bed and got out of it in one swift motion. Yet Usagi was adamant and didn’t loosen her hold on him, so he ended up out of the bed with her clinging on him like a little whining and adorable Usagi-shaped monkey.

 

“Noooo pleeeeease.”  She murmured, mouth still attached to his neck and the small whine got muffled by his skin and made his neck vibrate not unpleasantly – but he was determined.

 

“We need to get up, Usa. I really want to know what your father has to say about this all.” He mumbled, apologetically, yet still supported her weight.

 

She huffed but reluctantly released her hold on his body and slipped down and off him, pout firmly in place.

 

He reached for his black slacks and light grey button-down shirt that had been lying draped over the chair of her vanity and dressed with slightly trembling fingers, while Usagi made a show of letting herself fall back on her bed theatrically, drumming her legs on it in annoyance for a second until she stood up again, walked over to her coffee table, plopped down and checked her phone.

 

He was in the middle of buttoning up his shirt when he turned back to her. “So, are we training with your friend today?”

 

She looked up at him. “Um, she said Monday…” She said with some regret written in her face and voice.

 

Oh. His face fell a little. He’d been hoping to ease his nerves by at least attempting to do something new for their training immediately, step up their game to help him get used to the thought.

 

She put her phone back and looked up at him, mustering him with a thoughtful look. “…I could still _ask_ her though, if you want? Maybe she has time today as well?”

 

He shook his head and swallowed. As good as that sounded… “You don’t need to bother your friend just to put me at ease.”

 

She gave him another look and then nodded decisively. “I’ll ask her.”

 

He sighed. Downstairs they heard Kenji holler a goodbye through the house and then the slamming front door.

 

His gaze flew to hers.

 

After a beat he shrugged, leaned down and plucked her from her sitting position to carry her giggling form the three steps back to the bed.

 

L

 

 Makoto stood in front of the grey skyrise apartment building and scanned the bell panel to find the one that read ‘Chiba’.

 

She got buzzed in almost immediately.

 

She was a bit nervous. It had been really sweet, they way Usagi had formally introduced her boyfriend to her when he dropped her off at school, only so he could thank her for agreeing to train with them, and arrange a date. The way he’d seemed a bit uncomfortable standing in that building, not quite fitting in between all those students – the same way she felt like every day in that school – and the way Usagi had made him feel at ease in spite of it, just like she did with her.

 

He’d gone quickly again of course, way before the bell rang, though not before giving Makoto his home address – in the most peculiar way – he’d simply whipped out his Keio student ID at her expecting her to glance at the address printed on it. Usagi had rolled her eyes at him and giggled about it, yet for Makoto it was very endearing to see someone who came across as so smooth and confident on the first glance to act as socially inept as she felt herself sometimes.

 

This was how she found herself here, riding the elevator up. She’d gone home quickly to change into her workout clothes and pack what was left of the last batch of strawberry shortcake she’d made the other day (as a surprise for Usagi) and now stood tugging nervously at her tank top before she rapped on the door.

 

The door was flung open immediately by Usagi’s boyfriend.

 

It still felt weird for Makoto to have to look up to someone to look into their eyes. Usually she towered over everyone she knew, even the boys. But this guy was so _tall_.

 

He was already in his workout clothes as well. Gone was the sharp and dressy grey button down and matching vest she’d seen on him this morning, instead he stood in front of her bare-feet, in simple narrow grey sweat pants and a black T-shirt that clung to him a bit.

 

She shot out a greeting, a bit flustered, and he seemed to mimic her awkwardness one on one, bowing stiffly, holding the door open, yet he seemed genuinely thankful that she had come, which made her feel welcome in a peculiar way.

 

Somehow the whole occasion seemed so _serious_. Usagi had made it seem like this was just a hobby that the two were struggling with a bit, but the way this guy looked at her he made it seem as if Makoto was saving their life. It amused her, yet it felt a bit strange.

 

She was pulled out of her thoughts by Usagi who came tumbling out of one of the rooms and skipped towards her with a cheeriness that made Makoto forget anything else.

 

“MAKO-CHAN!!!” The blonde little whirlwind yelled and fell around her, hugging her close.

 

Makoto flushed and hugged her back. “I brought cake for afterwards!” She said to Usagi who squealed excitedly and took Makoto’s bag from her to rush it to the kitchen, while Makoto took off her shoes and then padded into the apartment further.

 

It looked stylish, a bit impersonal perhaps, and she could see all his furniture had been pushed to the wall in preparation. And also, it looked like he hadn’t just moved in. He’d obviously been living on his own for a while now. Another thing they had in common.

 

Makoto nodded and put her hands on her hips. “Well, shall we start, then?”

 

They talked a bit then, Usagi excitedly, Mamoru in this neutral expression of his, about what they’d been doing so far, where they were stuck, all the way Mamoru made sure to thank Makoto profusely for agreeing to come and give them pointers, so much that Makoto stopped blushing about it at one point and instead shoo him off with an annoyed but smiling eye-roll, which made him blush in turn. It was cute, really, she wouldn’t have expected this of him and it made her see how well these two did fit together.

 

Makoto made them show her a few basic routines – all of which looked to her as if they’d done them countless times together, the way the movements flowed and they reacted to each other without thought seemed flawless, intimate somehow. It made Makoto blush a bit, the way they touched each other so unapologetically and without shame, with no thought spared between them for getting into each other’s personal space, the little touches in between – the quick, almost involuntary tender stroke over the back of his head when she released him from a successful headlock, the way he supported her weight when he made her fall after all.

 

What they did as routinely though were their mistakes, Makoto could see that almost as immediately. Mamoru relied too much on his height and weight advantage, was too confident in his strength and moved too fast, even though he was still way slower than Usagi – which made him prone to lose his footing, and ironically, unable to use his strength-advantage on Usagi at all. Usagi in turn, relied too much on her footing to manipulate his forward-momentum, and was unable to free herself once she was off the ground.

 

She shook her head and stopped them. “No, no.” She moved towards them. “You have to move slower, Mamoru-kun. More precisely.”

 

He looked at her bewildered, as if she’d gone crazy. “But she’s so fast, I wouldn’t keep up.”

 

Makoto shook her head again. “You already can’t. That’s the point, if you move slower you’re slowing her down with you. Your momentum won’t be so strong and she can’t get you off balance as easily, see—“ Makoto moved in front of Usagi and got into position. With a small ‘May I?’ and an affirmative nod from Usagi she moved at her, mimicking Mamoru’s earlier steps, just that she put less speed and even more force in it. Usagi did her usual thing; sidestep, bend Makoto’s arm at an uncomfortable angle, wait for the snap-back that allowed her to turn her around and get her on the ground, yet it didn’t come. Makoto had steeled her arm, Usagi couldn’t bend it, and instead Makoto grabbed around her and hefted her up, then lowered her carefully back down to the ground.

 

Both Usagi and Mamoru looked at her impressed, then Mamoru frowned, recounting Makoto’s steps, comparing them to his.

 

“Do it again.” Makoto said smiling, motioning for them to get back in position, and they did.

 

 

L

 

Afterwards on their way back to Usagi’s for dinner, Mamoru had to admit that Makoto really knew what she was doing. They’d only trained for about 90 minutes until they’d stopped and eaten the girl’s cake– yes, Usagi was right, it _had_ been the best strawberry short cake of his life, too – and talked a bit. He had been surprised to find himself instantly liking the girl. In fact, he was actually looking forward for them to spend more time with her.

 

And he’d definitely learned something. All in all they’d focused more on Usagi’s technique – to his bidding – yet by the way the taller girl had instructed and moved Usagi’s form into different positions, so confident while taking about it, almost gleeful, and by the way Usagi had reacted, he could notice directly that her way of teaching was exactly what had been needed.

 

She’d instructed Mamoru, too, making him move differently to pose a new challenge for his girlfriend, showing Usagi ways by fighting him herself to counter his attacks in a new fashion. Which was how he’d found himself beaten not by one girl as usual but by two.

 

He chuckled a bit under his breath, and Usagi looked at him sideways, curiously.

 

They were passing through Arisugawa park on their way from his place towards her home when a girl in a grey school uniform stopped decisively in their path in front of them.

 

Mamoru wouldn’t have recognized her without her Miko garb weren’t it for Usagi’s telltale sputtering heart next to him. 

 

She stopped directly in front of them, and they stopped, too, and he knew Usagi would have greeted her cheerfully immediately weren’t she put off by the fierce glare – even more resentful than the other day – that Rei threw at them.

 

Usagi looked up at him perplexed, unsure, and then back at Rei, opening her mouth to start talking when Rei interrupted her.

 

She ripped something out of her schoolbag which he quickly discerned to be today’s newspaper, a photo of Sailor Moon in Tuxedo Mask’s arms surrounded by the Cardian fog on Hachiko Square on its cover with a headline that read in bold letters ‘SAILOR MOON – What do we know of Tokyo’s new savior’ – and waved it erratically in front of Usagi’s face. “What is this?” She hissed at both of them, looking them both in the eye with a fierce scowl one after the other.

 

They shared a quick glance.

 

Usagi scratched her temple. “Umm, a newspaper?”

 

Rei’s glare turned even darker and she practically jumped in Usagi’s face. “Don’t play dumb with me, _what is this_?” She growled.

 

Mamoru pulled Usagi closer to his side, and stepped a miniscule amount further in front. He really didn’t like the girl’s tone, or the anger he was feeling from her.

 

“We don’t know what you’re implying.” He said calmly, but coldly.

 

Rei’s menace turned towards him. “Oh, you _don’t_?” She spat. “Well why don’t you explain to me why you really came to see me the other day, _Tuxedo Mask_.” She hissed at him, quietly, under her breath.

 

Mamoru’s eyes widened, and he could feel Usagi’s alarmed glance at him when he pushed her behind him fully now, shielding her. He straightened his posture up towards his full height and stood towering over the slender brunette, and matched her in her withering stare.

 

Rei didn’t seem intimidated in the slightest and instead stood up straighter herself, glaring right back.

 

He let his consciousness float over her then, scanning her for signs that might be abnormal, yet finding nothing. He was about to jump back in her face anyway, demand of her how she could know that, demand to know what she would want with that information, when he felt Usagi’s hand slip into his, and her other around his wrist, gentle, calming.

 

She had come back around him, facing Rei who turned to train her gaze on her accusingly.

 

Usagi looked quickly up towards Mamoru’s startled eyes which were telling her to be careful, to not trust this girl, to deny everything, but instead Usagi sighed and said. “We came to you for help so I might learn to control my powers better.” Usagi pointed towards their photo in the paper. “I think it worked.” She added, sheepishly.

 

Mamoru groaned and yanked a hand through his hair, Usagi shrugged at him apologetically.

 

 _Not even_ one _whole day_ , he thought helplessly, _she didn’t manage to keep her identity secret for even ONE day._

 

The fight went out of Rei’s shoulders, though. She slumped a bit and her facial features calmed. She obviously hadn’t expected honesty.

 

A thousand questions bombarded Mamoru’s mind simultaneously; how did she find out, why does the glamour work on everybody else but her, how did she know where to find them… He chose to blame his dubious and distrust-filled upbringing for the one he did end up asking. “What do you want?” He bit at her.

 

He saw the fire ignite in Rei’s eyes again, rising to his challenge, when Usagi, once again, came between them. She stroked over Mamoru’s hand to calm him, which had the effect of softening his whole demeanor instantly, and which in turn made Rei get off her guard.

 

She shook her head, and then, in a quieter yet still clearly decisive voice, Rei said, “I want in.”

 

He sputtered at her. Of all the things he had expected… “Excuse me?”

 

She glared up at him, furrowing her brow. “Look, this will sound crazy, but considering who I’m talking to –“ She shook her newspaper at them again accusingly “—I’m just gonna say it. The fire talks to me, okay? I get visions. I _see_ things.”

 

Mamoru crossed his arms over his chest defensively. He didn’t like this. He didn’t like this at _all_. He already had trouble opening up and sharing with people he felt _comfortable_ around, but sharing the _biggest fucking secret of their life_ with a random stranger who throws ofudas at his girlfriend? One that claimed to have _visions_? No fucking way.

 

He set his jaw, taking a defensive stance and would have liked nothing more to just turn around and _go_.

 

Unfortunately his girlfriend had other plans.

 

Usagi took a tentative step towards Rei, cocked her head to the side and smiled at the girl sweetly. “Is that how you knew it was us?”

 

With a start Mamoru realized that the body language this Rei girl took on was basically a direct mirror of his own. Arms crossed, scowl in her eyes yet her face kept carefully blank. Defending herself…

 

“Yes…” She murmured.

 

And just like he would, Rei seemed to almost melt towards the kind attention, the tender smile Usagi was bestowing upon her.

 

She turned to Usagi fully and Mamoru felt some of Rei’s hard façade drop – both visually and physically – the furrow in her brow evened out, her pulse decelerated, her pupils dilated slightly –

with just that simple act of looking at Usagi’s open face.

 

Her voice became a bit gentler – he was pretty sure she wasn’t even noticing it –  and she turned to Usagi fully, almost blocking him from her view completely. “Look, I acted the way I acted the other day cause I….” She trailed off, looked sideways to him and the façade was back up. She obviously changed her mind about sharing.

 

Rei shook her head, turned back to face both of them now, arms back to being safely crossed. “I’m not stupid, I don’t have powers like you, I’m not gonna demand you bring me to the battlefield or anything, but I can be useful to you. I get visions on where they attack, for starters. Sometimes only minutes before it happens but sometimes _days_ before… “

 

Mamoru’s eyes widened and his gaze flew to Usagi’s equally surprised one. If what the girl was saying was true, this might indeed be the most useful information to have that he could think of off the top of his head.

 

But… His face turned carefully blank again.

 

Still, he didn’t trust her.

 

Usagi looked at him “I trust her.”

 

He groaned, cast his eyes upwards and threw his hands up in the air, then shook his head at Usagi. Unbelievable…

 

“ Can we at least sleep over this?” He pleaded with Usagi.

 

But Usagi had already skipped forward, linked her arm through Rei’s, who blushed immediately, and started babbling about exchanging phone numbers, Team names and if Rei could provide the snacks when Mamoru and she would come to the Hikawa shrine soon.

 

He could only sigh and follow them, hands buried deep into his pockets.

 

 

 

 

L

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the next one I will post from Ireland. Truthfully, I don’t know how much I’ll be able to post from there, it might be very likely that it’ll be only one more, maybe two post this week while I’m there.
> 
> Just so that you’re prepared^^’’
> 
>  
> 
> Also, thank you of course for all the reviews, they are SO ENCOURAGING to me you have no idea, every single one of them. Happy giddy happy feels and they make me write like crazy. So THANK YOU^^ and let me know what you think as always.
> 
>  
> 
> And one formal and very much needed thanks coming up, and while I’m on it, I’ll jam it up to a dedication:
> 
> To my real-life Mamoru <3 For reading (although he NEVER reads fan fiction), for being proud that I write this, for helping me tie the plot holes when I struggle (things you have him to thank for, that you know of so far: Rei’s premonitions, the fact that Mako trains Usagi and Mamoru now, and countless UsaMamo dialogue that he said first to me), for always cuddling with me on the escalator, for somehow having taken over seemingly all of the cooking and shopping and cleaning done in our home so I can write some more, and for having included UsaMamo in his vows to me when he married me in the first place.
> 
> (Included in his vows was this line: He promised to always be the Mamoru to my Usagi <333 - aren’t I the luckiest girl ever?!!)
> 
> Also, lots of you guys have been commenting on how fast I rip these out: I’m in grad school and it’s the semester holidays for me currently, plus I don’t have to intern this year, THIS ISN’T NORMAL!PLEASE DON’T EXPECT THIS TO BE NORMAL OF ANY OTHER SANE PERSON! And it also won’t last. xD
> 
> Also, I’m trying to pace myself, really, I am - and try to write on backup, but seriously, I’ve read these two fics (that I’m sure you’ll all know) in the middle of February (DESPERATE AND DIVINE – includes a scene where Mamoru tells Usagi about the process of figuring all this rebirth stuff out on his own; and WISH YOU WOULD – cutest ever college party AU fic where they get together in the cutest way and he gets to be his cutest closed off little adorable self and the way they interact is so natural and CUTE- both by the AMAZING ANTIGONE2 – and my head flew with these 2 images in my mind and ran with it and made it into this epic thing and I’ve been writing it down nonstop since then.)
> 
> So yeah, thus, next BIG thank you and dedication goes to Antigone2! For writing amazing, crazy inspiring fanfic : )


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greeting from Dublin, you all!!   
> This chapter, as well as the next, might seem a bit slow. It’s meant to establish a bit of normalcy of their Sailor Moon/Tuxedo Mask lives, and their relationships to Makoto and Rei.   
> Also, just to point out, the ‘normalcy bits’ will always be in this story, up to the end, because even though this thing has quite a story to it, to me it’s first and foremost about Usagi’s and Mamoru’s relationship to one another and how they deal with all this magical rebirth stuff thrown at them… I hope that doesn’t bore you guys too much XD.
> 
> But I’ve finally finished plotting all of the story up until the very end now, so it’s just a matter of filling it with a bit of life now.

L

 

 

Minako unlocked the door to her apartment carefully, sticking one foot in first so that her mewling kittens in front of it wouldn’t skitter out or immediately flung themselves at her – Artemis especially.  

 

She was carrying a bag of groceries and two foreign newspapers that she’d gotten from that small little corner shop near Brick Lane, the only one she knew around that sold foreign ones. Not that she didn't have an online subscription for the e-papers, but there was something more tangible and real about the printed thing.

 

She’d always used to check up on what was going on back at home in Japan, but now that this strange other warrior calling herself a Sailor Senshi had appeared two weeks ago, one with powers not unlike her own, one that had fought these monsters there two times since that along with that masked vigilante, Minako had been going over every material she could find on them.

 

The girl especially sparked a memory in her which she just could not put her finger on.

 

She sighed. Maybe she should go back? It’s not like anyone would really miss her here. Sailor V was helpful to the police in London, yes, but other than these Cardians in Tokyo, the villains she fought here could just as easily be taken on by special force units. Maybe there she could find out what this was, this strange certainty in her that she was a warrior, a guardian, meant to protect.

 

If she just knew _what it was_ she was meant to protect.

 

It was to her as if she had a gaping hole in her chest where a purpose was supposed to be. It was _important_ , so important, she could feel it.

 

Yes, in fact, even if she didn’t know what it was she should guard, the fierce feeling she held towards it was there.

 

She shook her head and turned towards her kittens, sweet-talking to them a little. How could they still be so _little_? She worried about that.

 

Tiny Luna had already lost interest and resumed her usual spot by the window, lying contently in front of it in a spot of sun, purring away, while Artemis skimmed between her legs, his soft furry tail sweeping across her calves, looking for her company. She relented and picked him up and he purred happily in her arms, her tiny little kitten boy.

 

She loved both her little babies to pieces, but Artemis, she had to admit, held a very special and soft spot in her heart.

 

She stroked carefully over his small quaint little crescent moon that had appeared there. It had driven the point home for her that she had been meant to find them, that she had been meant to rescue them. Yet they remained a mystery to her. Although, granted, the most adorable mystery she could imagine.

 

She plopped Artemis down on her bed and proceeded to lay out every single article in today’s newspapers on the floor, comparing them and pouring over them. That giant lizard dinosaury thing the media got a kick out of calling ‘Godzilla Attack on Tokyo’ from two weeks ago that they were still raving about – in British newspapers too, of course, and she suspected worldwide – and two smaller, weaker Cardians since that. And every time Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask attacking in tandem, swift, as if synchronized, sometimes waiting on the scene before the Cardian had even appeared, the reporters claimed.

 

In fact, there had never been so few people in need of hospitalization after Cardian attacks than in the last two attacks.

 

She cut out the articles that she found important and added them to her already existing collection that was blu-tacked to her wall. She shushed her kittens from time to time- ever since that night they had gotten so extremely _loud_ , mewling and screaming all the time.

 

She went back to her articles, reorganizing them. What she didn’t notice was that Artemis’s soft and repeated little kitten- _‘Meow’_ behind her had slowly started to sound more like a _‘Mina’_.

 

 

L

 

 

Panting hard, Tuxedo Mask showered the Cardian they were currently fighting with an onslaught of roses that effectively pinned it to the wall behind it, and thereby pushing it away from Sailor Moon whom it was about to shower in its slimy powder yet again.

 

The Cardian itself was a strange plant humanoid hybrid which acted through two objects: Its body, a greenish blue hued figure with a head shaped like a flower petal that emanated a paralyzing powder and green slime, and a small separate hub, away from it, inconspicuous, leafy and green, from which it attacked with long spiky vines only when directly approached, as a defense mechanism. They hadn’t realized it was there at first, before Rei had pointed it out to them.

 

Assured that the body was no longer an immediate threat to the love of his life he turned away from it, drew his sword and approached the green hub. He hacked at the attacking spikes and stabbed at it, yet had to lean into it fully and with all his force until the unyielding armored surface broke.

 

The body shrieked in a loud howl in answer, and Sailor Moon concentrated her energy and  got close to direct it once again at the flower petal head.

 

This time, with the center of the hub destroyed first, just as Rei had predicted, it worked. The Cardian evaporated into fog.

 

Both of them dropped their guard, sighing, relieved, shoulders slumping and he went back towards Sailor Moon, checking her for injuries he knew weren’t there, but he would never feel at ease if he didn’t check with his own eyes first.

 

They’d managed to get at this Cardian before it had had the chance to even get into the vicinity of a victim, and that although they were currently located in an alley, a small side street on the fringes of busy Akihabara. It was late, close to ten, yet if there was a place that made the night to day, then it was Akihabara. The thought that they’d been able to keep this away from absolutely everybody amazed him. No one was here besides them, not one single reporter even.

 

He heard Rei disentangle herself from her hiding spot behind a stacked wall of garbage bags and cardboard boxes to make her way towards them. He sighed and kissed Sailor Moon on her forehead quickly, who was cheering and jumping up and down in elated victory, and then de-transformed.

 

So did Usagi and then directly exclaimed in revulsion. Her old clothes were clean as day, yet her thighs, where nothing had covered her legs that had de- or rematerialized, were still covered in a soft sheen of the slimy goo under her short skirt.

 

This time Mamoru was very thankful for his pants. No slime had stayed on him. Without a word, Mamoru pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket, realizing in a short moment that he had pocketed hers again instead of his and when was that? – and knelt in front of her to help her get it off.

 

Usagi fumed a bit, her previous cheer instantly forgotten. He chuckled, it didn’t surprise him how fast his girlfriend could go through emotions, yet it would always amuse him.

 

“Do these Cardians always _need_ to be so disgusting and gooey?” She huffed, but he agreed. He’d too love to get at least through _one_ fight he wouldn’t be feeling repulsed by the remnants afterwards.

 

“What I’d _do_ for a Dalek. Clean and sanitary.” She pouted, while ruminating her fingers in the slimey substance on her leg, making a face.

 

Rei looked at her with a confused expression and then at him. _‘What’s a Dalek?’_ she mouthed at him and he shrugged, while dabbing at the last remains of the slime. “Don’t ask me. I don’t know what she’s talking about most the time.” He mumbled at her and then turned his gaze up towards Usagi. “There, all gone.”

 

He straightened up in front of her and she beamed at him, latching onto his arm, all the cheer in her returning fast. He chuckled.

 

They turned and walked out the alley, and he could hear the previously distant noise clatter of the Pachinko halls and arcades come closer, and when they rounded the next corner their surroundings were illuminated by the dazzling and glaring colorful Neon signs all around, satiating his senses, even though they weren’t yet even near the main artery of Akihabara but still passing through side streets.

 

He looked at Rei sideways, who was strolling along next to Usagi casually.

 

She’d warned them about the first Cardian attack since Usagi had become Sailor Moon, and had showed up herself for the second one and the third one. He hadn’t been surprised to see her here today.

 

And although the girl still unnerved him greatly, he had to admit she was extremely useful. She’d warned them ahead of time when attacks would occur, so they could prepare in advance, and while she was at the battle scenes, she would shout directions at them, tell them what their enemy’s weak points were so they didn’t have to trial and error their way through it. And she was there to pick up the pieces afterwards; silent, watchful, intense, but very very reliable.

 

He looked at her, and pointedly at the small bow and quiver that hung from her shoulder, unused.

 

He chose to comment on them with raised eyebrows. “I thought you didn’t want to actively partake in this.”

 

Usagi reacted to that and looked at Rei, she hadn’t noticed that Rei had been armed.

 

Rei gave him a short glance, and then tugged at the strap of the quiver. “I won’t.” She said curtly.

 

She thought for a bit and then continued. “Which doesn’t mean I don’t _want_ to… and if something ever happened I want to be able to act. And I happen to be a very good archer.”

 

He sighed and then nodded towards the arrows.“Get other ones. The metal tips won’t do if it ever came to that.”

 

Rei nodded thoughtfully, looking straight ahead, while Usagi next to him huffed in indignation. “What do you mean, if it ever came to that? We’re gonna keep her safe of course!”

 

He was going to reply when he felt Usagi freeze suddenly, her heart accelerating instantly when she shot forward and away from him with an outcry.

 

Adrenaline pumped through him instantly, preparing him to go after her while scanning his surroundings for danger as a reflex, when he realized what had happened.

 

He rolled his eyes, let his shoulders drop and sighed.

 

Usagi tended to do this way too often for his liking: use the same excited outcry for dangerous situations as well as for spotting things she liked.

 

This situation was the latter of course. In the window of a shop in front of them Usagi wiggled at a poster hanging on it, advertising tiny Chibi Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Moon figurines. Usagi was squealing on the top of her lungs, pointing excitedly.

 

Both Mamoru and Rei stood behind her, completely calm, eyebrows raised at her.

 

Usagi was still jumping up and down, gushing at the little details in the poster in a high-pitched voice. “Look the little _mask_ , oh my _god,_ and _look_ there’s even a tiny _Godzilla_ with them!! _Can we get them pleaaaaaase_???”

 

Rei shook her head, sighing. “Is she always like this? Is this gonna be a thing?” She deadpanned towards him.

Mamoru sighed as well, but stepped a bit closer to Usagi’s jittery form. “Right. So I get hated on for months and the minute you turn up there’s figurines? This world is so unfair.”  

She ignored his remark and instead beamed on and pointed with wiggly fingers at the poster, all excitement. He rolled his eyes at her but couldn’t help the amused grin that snuck its way onto his face after all. “ _Pleaaaaase_ , can we buy them tomorrow pleaaaase.”

 

“Usako, it’s an advertisement. See.” He pointed at the small date printed at the poster. “They don’t come out until December.”

 

Her face fell as if he told her she’d have to go to school on the weekends now.

 

He laughed at her and so did Rei, and really, it unnerved him a bit how often he and Rei shared the same reactions to Usagi. Rei teased her a bit about how childish Usagi could be and Usagi huffed indignantly and teased her right back – a pattern the two had slowly fallen into that reminded him all too well of the bickering stage that he and Usagi had shared for all too long.

 

And as he recognized this all too well because of that, he also recognized Rei’s small smiles at Usagi in between the insults. Usagi was the highlight of _her_ day, too.  And for that alone – because he could relate so well – he was at least _starting_ to warm up to her.

 

They walked to the nearest metro station – the trains were long since up and running again in true efficient Japanese diligence save for the detours around two severely damaged tunnels connecting to Shibuya that would still need repairs for a long while, but eh, better the tunnels than the people, right?

 

They parted with Rei upon exiting the station, arranged a date at the Hikawa shrine with her next week for training and meditation and made their way towards Usagi’s house. Once there, he immediately hopped up onto her balcony while she went through the front door.

 

She quickly glanced at her clock. 10:16, slightly after her curfew but her parents knew of her habit to be late, so they never made a fuzz about it as long as she came home somewhere around that time. Or if they’d known how often she had slipped out her window afterwards when they already thought her in bed…

 

She heard the sound of the running TV set and her parents low murmuring voices coming from the living room and popped her head in, her parents were sitting on the couch, watching some random game show that Usagi didn’t recognize.

 

“There you are!” Kenji exclaimed. “We were starting to worry!”

 

“Sorry, we.. um, we forgot the time talking with Mako-chan?” She said blushing. She’d texted her mother earlier in the day that they had gone out for dinner with Makoto and wouldn’t be home to eat with them, treating Makoto for their training session at a Ramen place of her choosing afterwards – which was totally true and exactly what they had done, only that they’d left Makoto in a hurry when Rei had texted them the Cardian’s location, due to appear in an hour or so.

 

Her mother sent her a knowing look, almost conspirational, clearly thinking she’d spent the rest of the night out with Mamoru doing god know what. Which was essentially true of course, but… 

 

“Please be careful honey, all of you.” Her father started, pointing at his newspaper on the coffee table in front of him. “You know a Cardian could attack any time and Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Moon can’t always be everywhere at once.”

 

Usagi blinked at him, flushed. “I… we are careful, I promise.”

 

He nodded thoughtfully. “Okay.”

 

“So…” Usagi started, looking carefully at her father.  “Did Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask do anything tonight?” She probed.

 

“Nah... Tonight was quiet. Nothing happened.”

 

She nodded cheerfully, then she snapped up Kenji’s paper. Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask were once again adorning its cover.  “Papa, can I keep this?”

 

He mumbled an absentminded ‘Sure, sure’ at her, already immersed back in their game show and Usagi said her goodnights over her shoulder, bounding up the stairs, already leafing through the newspaper.

 

Mamoru looked up from her laptop, which was perched on his knees, when she came in and smiled at her tenderly, snapped it shut and put it back down on her vanity.

 

“Look!” She smiled, pointing at a photo of them, taken from behind, both of them attacking last week’s Cardian in a mirrored fighting routine they’d learned from Makoto only days before the picture had been taken.

 

He raised an eyebrow. Sometimes he wondered about how very close up those pictures were taken.

 

She plopped down at her coffee table and laid the paper out on it, shoving her notebooks on it a little to the side, and continued to browse through it. He got up from his position on her bed and sat down behind her, extending his legs along next to hers, wrapping his arms around her middle from behind and positioned his chin on her shoulder.

 

She beamed at another article: An interview of the head of a newly formed Sailor Moon fanclub. “Look I have fans!!”

 

He nuzzled her neck and made a small miffed sound. “You already had a fan…” he mumbled.

 

She whipped her head to the side and beamed at him, to which he straightened up a bit and blushed.

 

He swallowed and nodded with his chin towards her note- and workbooks lying forgotten on the table, shaking her a bit in the process of doing so as he was so attached to her, changing the subject. “If we’re obviously still staying up…Don’t you still have school work to do?”

 

She ignored him completely and instead held another article in his face. “Don’t I look cool?”

 

He rolled his eyes, she turned a page.

 

“HEY!” She exclaimed.

 

“What!”

 

“Look!” She said excitedly.  “Sailor V!! I haven’t seen her in a while!!”She held the paper up for him to see, and true enough – there she was, in her blue and red fuku, with the big red mask on her face and the big red bow in her hair and all in all so very similar to Usagi’s transformation.

 

He frowned.

 

Usagi paused and then leaned backwards and into him. “Do you think we should try and contact her?”

 

He shrugged. “I wouldn’t know _how_ , really…” He said.

 

They were both silent for a beat until Usagi once again went back to her newspaper. He huffed, the thing was _filled_ with articles about them. And by the gushing tone Kenji had adopted when speaking about them during dinner in the evenings now, he wasn’t surprised either. He was the editor after all…

 

Usagi stopped at a long piece about Tuxedo Mask and the symbolism of the rose and giggled about the picture. He looked so _dramatic_ in that pose.

 

Mamoru blushed.

 

“Well, I have the sword now, too. Not only, well, … _this_ not so useful gift” He conjured up a rose in his hand as to prove his point and threw it at her door. It stuck with a loud bang and Usagi and Mamoru both flinched when Kenji yelled down the hall if everything was alright.

 

Usagi ducked her head and scrunched up her nose and hollered a lie through the door about accidently having thrown her phone at her door, at which Mamoru looked at her bewildered, she shrugged her shoulders helplessly but Kenji didn’t come up to investigate, being used to wilder stories by this daughter.

 

Sighing, Mamoru entangled himself from her yet didn’t move far away. Instead he sat down next to her, and pulled her workbook towards him. He frowned, thought for a moment, questioning himself and his sanity about what he was about to do, and then started jotting down answers in the blank spaces, effectively finishing her homework for her.

 

She looked at him with her mouth hanging open and he shrugged. “Well, it’s not _your_ fault you had to safe Tokyo tonight, is it? I don’t want you to fail because you don’t have time to do your homework…” He said sheepishly, not looking up from her book. It didn’t take him long anyway. Ten minutes and he’d answered all the questions that would have taken her half the evening.

 

Usagi was still pouring over the feature on him and looked up, then at him, and back to her door, rose still jutting from it.

 

“Why roses?” She asked.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

She furrowed her brows and looked at him. “Well, do you have a theory, out of all the ones you could conjure, why is it the rose?”

 

“Oh!” He said, back straightening. “It’s just that I have the most practice with it, it was the first flower I ever got, and I can make it the sharpest.”  To prove his point this time he made rose completely smooth and thornless ,without any sharpness to it whatsoever, and then handed it to to her wordlessly.

 

She threw him a look. “What? You can conjure them non-weapony? Just like that? Mamoru!” She glared at him.

 

He blinked at her use of his full name, confused. What had he done? “What?”

 

The look she shot him was the most upset he’d seen her in a while. “I’m your girlfriend.” She stated.

 

“Yes?” He answered carefully. “So?”

 

“It never occurred to you I might like to get flowers once in a while if you don’t even have to _pay_ for them?”

 

“Uhh…” He said, taken aback by the irritation in her eyes. He did the only thing he could think of to appease her.

 

So he went about conjuring rose after rose after rose in an instant, minus the sharpness. They plopped one after the other before her.

 

She started giggling and then yelped again. “MAMORU!”

 

He looked at her helplessly. “What now?”

 

“Not so many. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents?” She huffed, but the smile had returned to her face, and she crawled over to him and slung her arms around his neck and kissed it.

 

 

 

L

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, reviews give me feels and make me go back to writing like a crazy person, and I’m immensely thankful for every one of you who does!!!
> 
>  
> 
> You’ll get another chapter while I’m in Ireland – towards the end of the week.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Greetings from Galway this time^^
> 
> Thank you guys so much for the reviews, always so encouraging. I thrive on it and am so grateful you have NO IDEA!! ^^
> 
> Also, one of my reviewers on FF had a question about Sailor V and how she fit into the no-cats-to-wake-any-Senshi setting – and as I’ve wondered before if that came through how I meant that, here is a short description on how that works in my head, and while I’m at it, how all the Senshi ‘work’:  
> (Although of course I hope I described at least most of it well enough, yet just in case – and because a reminder does no harm)
> 
> All the Senshi, as well as Mamoru, have kind of an inkling about at least some aspects of their abilities, some more than others and all very different:  
> Mamoru became Tuxedo Mask all on his own; he can heal, he can feel, he can sense things and he has Endymion’s sword (though of course no knowledge where it came from).  
> Usagi feels the power of the Silver Crystal in her although she doesn’t know that it’s the Silver Crystal and it saves her as a reaction when she’s in danger, and can now control some of its power as Sailor Moon – she expels it in bursts with touch.  
> Both Mamoru and Usagi have glimpses of their past lives in dreams, which they shared and thus concluded she somehow sent them to him.   
> Ami has a sure grasp on her abilities, and a deep set of knowledge, meant as an understanding of science and how the world(s) work, but no explicit memories; her acting is through knowledge-seeking.  
> Rei has premonitions that she claims the fire tell her, they’re vague feelings of things that will happen or have happened which she has to interpret first but no idea there might be something else in her, yet she feels the need to act.  
> Makoto’s moods affect the weather around her – you guys have no idea yet if she is aware that she is the cause of that ;)  
> Mina has the deep feeling that she is a warrior and that there is something precious in the world for her to protect – she ‘awakened’ as Sailor V all on her own, much like Tuxedo Mask did, because her warrior sense allowed it.  
> The cats are late. They’ve only just ‘woken up’ – there was no cause for them before with no threat around. Also they’ve stayed to be tiny un-growing kittens all this time. A little hint: Chibi-Usa also stayed a child forever before her ‘purpose’ (in her case, her own powers) were woken. 
> 
> I hope this clears it up for everyone who might have been wondering about this^^

L

 

 

It was the little moments Makoto treasured the most – The way Usagi would always seek her company at school now, make a point to always sit with her outside for lunch, so that the people that hovered around her needed to now come out and eat there, too, even though autumn was fast approaching, and with it the temperatures falling.

 

Or like that little moment the other day when Usagi hadn’t managed to open up that bag of pistachios on her own and handed it huffily over to Mamoru who first teased Usagi about it first and then after several failed attempts had handed it wordlessly over to Makoto.

 

Or the way that, anytime Usagi would be crowded by a bigger group of friends on their way back from school for whatever reason – a situation that still made her somewhat uncomfortable and left out even though Usagi would make all the attempts to include her in the conversation – Mamoru would hang back at the end of the crowd with Makoto, letting Usagi chat away with her friends and instead wrap Makoto up in conversation; about her school assignments, about mundane daily tasks one only ever thought of when living alone and usually never had anyone to talk about with, about a particular training technique they were currently working on, anything.

 

Those little moments made her feel special, cared for.

 

She’d known from the first time she had talked to Usagi that she would love her. That Usagi would become her most treasured friend. And the depth that she cared for Usagi still baffled her, the way she felt she knew she would do _anything_ to keep this particular girl safe – she hadn’t expected at all though the depth of affection she would hold for Mamoru, as well. For his dorky, vulnerable, lost little boy side that she could understand so well and that he tried to hide at all times.

 

She’d liked Mamoru from the start, too, of course. Found it adorable the way he’d hover over Usagi, ready to bounce with any imagined threat to her. A bit too overprotective maybe, but she wasn’t one to judge that, she behaved exactly the same way, and especially around Usagi. And she understood why he’d feel that way, of course. The same reason why she felt like that –

 

Even before they’d talked about it over snacks and soda that time – another little moment that meant so much to her – she’d already guessed why she felt such a kinship to him, were that lost little boy in him came from; he was an orphan, too. And although she couldn’t see the glint of loneliness in his eyes – she guessed it was gone because of Usagi, or at least guessed it from the tender look he got in his eyes whenever he looked at the small bubbly blonde – she could see the familiar traces of this loneliness in him: The way he’d bury his hands a bit too deeply in his pockets, the way he’d fall silent in crowds, the way he’d look at other people with that wary vulnerability.

 

And then there was this moment right now.

 

Usagi had been extra excited to see Mamoru today, she’d been squealing ever since their computer science class when she’d flipped open her laptop and announced to Makoto that she had the sweetest boyfriend on earth (apparently he’d preordered her some figurines on her laptop and forgotten to close the browser window) – and thus had been super quick upon seeing him leaning on the school gates as always to bounce up to him and practically attack him. She’d hung back, wanting to give them privacy, and anyway, they weren’t scheduled for training today and yet… afterwards, the way they’d both turned their heads towards her, waiting for her, with that expectant look that said, ‘ _Are you coming, or what? What’s taking you so long?’_

 

Or the way how they really weren’t asking but rather assuming to hang out with her for a little while after classes before her club activities started; expecting it, like good friends do.

 

Mamoru had suggested milkshakes and Usagi’s eyes had gleamed and both had looked appalled when the names Crown and Motoki had held no meaning to her, looking at each other dumbfounded (“We’ve _really_ never taken her there?” – “To be honest, Usako, we haven’t been there this often in the last couple weeks”), so Usagi had slung her arm through Makoto’s and lead the way without even asking her. Like it was a done deal. Makoto loved it.

 

They’d entered the arcade and that really gorgeous guy – Makoto couldn’t refrain herself from blushing every time he talked to her or looked at her – came towards them directly, demanding where the hell they have been, to which Mamoru and Usagi apologized in the most profuse way.

 

They’d all settled at the counter, and Gorgeous Guy sighed theatrically.  “Yeah. I see. The days are over when you came in here pretending to see _me_ for hours on end when instead you were both just here to wait for a glimpse of each other.”

 

Mamoru shrugged his shoulder at Gorgeous Guy and looked at him apologetically.  “Well, I’m sorry, but I won’t deny you’re right.”

 

Gorgeous Guy sighed and huffed, though with that little happy glint in his eye and turned to Makoto, who straightened in her seat immediately.  “Hello, I’m Motoki. You may come here and sit with me for hours pretending it’s for my sake and sulk about the girl you like all day and then proceed to never come see me again once you got her.”

 

Mamoru rolled his eyes and Makoto blushed. “I’m sure I’ll come back.” She said in a timid voice while Mamoru and Usagi both talked at the same time;

 

“We just had a lot to do in the last couple days!” Mamoru said defensively while Usagi, turned first towards Mamoru, whirled to Motoki. “Wait, wait, wait…There was sulking involved?”

 

Mamoru blushed.

 

Motoki chuckled  at Usagi and leaned into her with a cheeky smile. “Oh like you wouldn’t _believe_.”

 

 

L

 

 

“So that’s your new friend?” Motoki asked Usagi cheerfully once Makoto had left for her gardening club.

 

Usagi turned her biggest Usagi-smile on him and gushed, her heart speeding up a little, cheeks flushing with excitement and went on and on about their friend.

 

Mamoru had to smile at the thought, and reveled a bit in the familiarity of it all. Because truly, he thought of Makoto as their friend, and not just Usagi’s.  

 

She continued on for a while, praising the many – and he agreed, there _were_ many – qualities of Makoto Kino to Motoki, eyes alight, words tumbled fast and he smiled at her, and she had gone on and on about her until Mamoru frowned at the considerable gap between their two stools and slipped a hand under the wood of her stool to pull it closer to him with her on it, in one single swift movement, effectively so that her leg was now touching his. She stopped mid-speech and looked up at him.

 

He smirked down at her. “You never gush about me like that. ” His tone was playful, flirting, grin firmly in place, and anyway, he was just using it as an excuse, and Motoki rolled his eyes.

 

“You guys have just gotten worse since you got together, you know?” He shook his head at them, sighing, but they completely ignored Motoki, and talked right over him.

 

 “I do too gush about you like that.” Usagi protested.

 

He raised an eyebrow at her and put his arm on the back of her stool behind her, crossing one leg over the other so his shin touched her leg next to him. “Not to me you don’t.”

 

She shrugged yet twinkled up at him. “Your ego wouldn’t take it. It’s so inflated as it is.”

 

He laughed and moved his arm from the back of her chair around the small of her back. “Ah, that’s the gushing you mean. Fiery insults. I should have known.”

 

She pursed her lips yet stifled a grin and turned to Motoki exasperatedly. “Is he like this with you?”

 

Motoki held his hands up in surrender. “Of course not!”

 

Mamoru chuckled lightly at Motoki’s expression.

 

“I thought so. How come you’re so much politer to Motoki than to me?” He knew she was at least trying to sound offended so she would at least appear to mean what she was saying, yet she couldn’t seem to manage _not_ to grin back at him… 

 

“Says the woman that regularly threw things at me. Thinking of… you _still_ throw things at me.” He lowered his head a little towards her, looking her in the eye, one side of his lips and one eyebrow quirked up.

 

“On accident.” She grumbled and he laughed again and leaned down a little more towards her.

 

He winked at her, his face still only centimeters away from hers.

 

She dive-bombed him and he nearly toppled off his stool, while Motoki only shook his head at them.

 

Usagi let go of him rather quickly, though, probably not wanting to be rude in front of Motoki, and swiveled around in her chair when Motoki placed a big glass of frothy goodness in front of her that she greeted with a little squeal. Chocolate with salty caramel fudge sauce dripped into the side of the glass; as it was Friday.

 

Mamoru disentangled his arm from around her and with a sigh bent down and pulled one of his textbooks from his bag and plopped it open, then donned his reading glasses.

 

She hummed into her milkshake for a moment, and he could feel her glancing at him sideways. “I don’t wanna do my homework.” She whined in a little pouty voice.

 

Motoki chuckled at her. “Well, what do you need to do?”

 

Usagi grumbled but Mamoru answered without looking back from his book. “Physics. She’s been complaining all day.”

 

Usagi gave him a look that said _‘Duh’._

 

Motoki gave her a sympathetic look. “Yeah, physics wasn’t my favorite in school either.”

 

She snorted. “Well _who_ likes _physics_.”

 

This time Mamoru did look back up from his book to grin at her. “I enjoy physics a great deal.”

 

“Yeah. But you’re a giant nerd.” She smiled at him cheekily. “My cute giant nerd.”

 

Motoki groaned, and rolled his eyes at their behavior. Mamoru threw him an amused yet smug look before shrugging and turning his gaze back to Usagi. “Actually, I think you’d like physics, too, if it weren’t for the mathematic bits. I mean…it’s the science of light, of sound, color, the stars, all of astronomy, really. It contains all the wonders in this world… and seeing as you’re so adorably easily fascinated...”

 

Usagi raised her eyebrows at him, not very convinced, and he swiveled a bit in his stool towards her, cocked his head and looked at her intently. “Well, one of the things I find most fascinating about the fundamental forces of physics is that, no matter in which direction and on which scale you look – if you look at the smallest particles that revolve around each other to form you and me, and the same with all the planets and all the stars and whole galaxies revolving around each other to form the universe… everything behaves exactly the same...” He said, turned fully towards her, with a meaningful and tender half-smile. “If you break it down… one could say it’s about attraction of one thing to another…”

 

Usagi blinked back at him and the intense look he was throwing her and huffed. “I wish my teachers would make it sound so nice. I’d learn a lot more if you’d be my teacher.”

 

Mamoru paused, opened his mouth to say something then closed it again and frowned, trying again. “…That could be arranged, you know?” He said seriously.

 

She said up straighter, frowning right back at him.

 

“Well, I could tutor you.” He said. In fact, he thought he might like the idea. A lot actually.

 

She looked him in the eye and paused. He knew she could see he was dead serious about this, but then shook her head, dismissing him. “Nah. I hate school.” She cocked her head to the side. “And we have such little free time as it is, and you have your own work to do. I wouldn’t want to imp –“

 

“You wouldn’t impose.” He interrupted her. “In fact, I’d get the chance to review my high school curriculum like that. My teacher used to say we’ll never have a broader education than in our final High School years and he was right. Take Literature, I hated that subject and now I’m a bit sorry I remember so little of it.” He was rambling, and he knew it, but seriously, the thought of helping her with her school work… he wanted to do that for her.

 

She just went on shaking her head, dismissing the idea. And well, he knew she could think of millions of nicer things to do with him in the little time they had around training and Cardians and meditation with Rei than study.

 

“Also I think I’d rather enjoy tutoring you.” He added.

 

She gave him a look. “Yeah right.”

 

“No, really!”

 

“Why?” She asked, eyebrows raised.

 

He poked her nose and smiled at her. “As I said, because you’re so adorably easily fascinated.” She blushed slightly, and he continued.  “We could make it fun, too. I could take you to museums, we could do experiments… the cool stuff.”

 

She laughed, his eyes were practically alight with that idea. Still she shook her head. “That’s ok. But you could still help me with my homework today?”

 

His face fell a little, but he nodded, and went to pick her bag up from the floor to which she reacted with an appalled ‘Not _now_ ’ at which he laughed and went back to his own textbook instead.

 

 

L

 

 

It wasn’t until much later, after they’d bid Motoki goodbye and gone home, sat through a comfortable dinner with her family and were back up in her room, when she turned back to him and asked with furrowed brows, “You hated Literature?”

 

“Yes” He said, quite neutrally, not letting on that he’d find it odd in any way she’d just continue on a conversation like this from hours ago.

 

They were seated at her coffee table, she was playing with her phone, he was scribbling in one of his notebooks while glancing continuously back to his textbook, still catching up on his studies.

 

“But why?”

 

“Why not?”

 

She frowned at him. “You always use such big words.”

 

He looked up and turned to her, laughing. “What? Usako - around others maybe, but around you I'm a blubbering mess unable to even finish sentences much less articulate them in a proper manner.”

 

She raised her eyebrow.

 

“No, really”

 

Usagi got up on her knees, scooted a bit closer to him and threw him a doubtful yet amused look. “Give me even _one_ example of this blubbering mess of words you supposedly are”

 

He blinked at her. “Well, around your family sometimes or when I’m worried or…” Then he stilled, smirked and leaned towards her to whisper in her ear. " _God yes, Usako, please, please, Usako, ugh, yesss._ " He breathed almost inaudibly and she shuddered, her face turning crimson, her body reacting.

She swallowed. “ _Anyway_.”  She said, blushing and sank back down on her carpet in a sitting position. “You _love_ to read. You read _all_ the time. _Anything_.”

 

He straightened back up as well, though she could see his smirking eyes were a bit stormy, but he swallowed as well and then smiled at her. “Well, I do enjoy the reading part. But not the dissecting part of it. I like to let it stand as it is, instead of analyzing every aspect of it…”

 

Usagi nodded, accepting his answer and propped her elbows up on her coffee table, leaning her face onto her hands, turned sideways, watching him.

 

He looked back at her, smiling, eyes questioning.

 

 “Mamo-chan?”

 

“Mhm?”

 

 She exhaled. “You said you’d tutor me?”

 

He was back to blinking at her, surprised. “I’d be my pleasure.” He said, confused, but very very attentive.

 

She knelt back on her legs, pressed her hands to her knees and mustered him carefully, chewing on her lip. “Can I choose our first topic?”

 

“Of course…” He made it sound a bit like a question. In fact, he _was_ very confused about her behavior. She seemed so unsure, one thing she rarely ever was around him, at least not anymore.

 

Usagi got up then, pushing herself up from the floor and walked the few steps to her little bookshelf – mostly filled up with tons of manga and a few errant school books – and pulled out a middle sized shoe box from the top shelf. Out of it she extracted a small stack of books – three of them, and placed them on the coffee table in front of him.

 

 ‘Ancient World Mythology’, ‘Greek Gods’, and a leather-bound and dusty looking copy of John Keats’s ’Endymion’.

 

He blinked.

 

“That one I’ve had the longest.” She pointed at the Keats.  “Got it at a flea market with my parents when I was 11. Papa was surprised I wanted it, and well, I said I liked it for the pretty cover and binding, because I was too embarrassed to say I wanted it because it’s called like the name of the man I’ve dreamt of since I can think…”

 

He held the leather bound edition in slightly trembling hands and looked at it with some considerable disbelief – he owned a copy of the exact same book.

 

“I’ve never gotten all of it- or even most. Even if I _understood_ all the Kanji, it’s too archaic for me. I have watched several YouTube videos, though, where they explain the gist of it in understandable words. Enough to know that Endymion was either a shepherd or a king or both, I came to rape him in his sleep apparently, and depending on who to listen to bore you fifty children and – oh – I am the moon. Who knew.” She shrugged, trying to seem relaxed and offhand about it, but her face was far from nonchalant.

 

She plucked a sheet of paper from inside one of the books – a color printed image of a baroque painting that he recognized: ‘Endymion and Selene’, by Sebastiano Ricci. In it Endymion was lying to Selene’s feet, naked and asleep; she was hovering above him, as if on a cloud, her breast bared, a crescent moon atop her forehead.

 

He looked back up at her, unblinking, intense.

 

She sat back on her heels and scratched her head, one eye closed. “I mean… that’s all the information we really have, right? I call you Endymion in my dream and I get this crescent moon on my forehead every time I go poof. “ She shrugged, unsurely. “Everything else is… well, I wear a white dress, we’re in a castle, we die…” She trailed off.

 

Then she bit her lip, picked up the Keats, and placed it in his hands. “Would you go through them with me? Can we try and figure this all out? What our dreams are supposed to mean?”

 

He looked at her – her eyes were swimming with emotion that he could feel were a turmoil of excitement, trepidation, fear of sounding ridiculous for the things these books might suggest. All of them feelings he shared, and knew. He looked down at the book, with its embroidered cover and yellowed pages and chuckled.  “John Keats, eh?” He looked back at her with a teasing smile.  “Figures the first thing you’d ask me to help you with would be Literature…”

 

She giggled, relieved.  

 

 

L

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as I said, this was the other normalcy and character-development chapter I said was coming. I’ll be back home by Wednesday night, I hope to post a chapter before that, but I’m not making promises xD
> 
> I really hope you’re still enjoying this, and please let me know what you think, as always ^^


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, still from Galway!   
> Thanks again for everyone who reviewed, I appreciate it SO SO MUCH!! Especially because I’m new to this, and it helps me keep focus, and also it’s just a really really nice feeling^^
> 
> The next two chapters all take place on the same weekend still, and it’s their quest to figure all this stuff out on their own. It’ll take a little while, because this is heavy shit they’re dealing with obviously and they’re teenagers and I’d think one would need at least a few approaches and a full weekend minimum to get their head around this xD
> 
> Also, if I’m not messing anything up here, I’m estimating this story to be approx. 28 chapters altogether. At least, that’s what I’ve mapped out all in all, and except for last minute changes, it should stay that way… we’ll see I guess^^
> 
> Also, I should mention that all the myths and legends and books they go through are all actual myths and legends and books, so nothing of that is made up by me but just research and thus of course they also all don’t belong to me!

L

 

Usagi huffed and let herself fall back on her bed, arms and hair spread on her pillows. She wanted to start working through this. It was a new feeling to her, she’d never been eager to talk about a book and a topic before that could at least be considered research, but right now she could just sit here only and wait until he was done.

 

They’d gotten up rather late, as it was a Saturday, and spent a good while in bed until he slipped out only to come back through the front door, where Ikuko had greeted him with a knowing smile and made them a late breakfast – homemade pancakes, the best he’d ever had he’d claimed– and then they were holed up in her room again, just that both her parents were officially aware of it now.

 

He had started glossing her Keats edition for her, as he had done the rest of the evening last night as well, and her task it had been to bookmark all art she could find on Endymion on her computer.

 

Her task had been done in half an hour, he’d been sitting at his quite a bit longer.

 

She hefted herself back up and, perched on her knees, leaned over and in front of Mamoru. He looked adorable sitting there cross-legged on her bed in front of her, book open in his lap, hands constantly fiddling around with the pen in his hand – open and close, open and close – reading glasses on his nose, slight frown on his lips.

 

She looked at the book. He was adding annotations to the poem, short descriptions of paragraphs as well as Furigana for her on the difficult Kanji in his extremely neat, ready for press handwriting.

 

She studied his writing hand carefully. Mamoru’s notes always looked so _pretty_. Even all the notes he took for classes to which he usually said he hurried over to be able to catch anything his professors said. All with his neat slanted hand and the detailed and carefully hand-drawn and annotated illustrations.

 

She sat back and leaned her head back against the headboard. She felt so restless and useless, and her mood was dipping. She looked at the clock on her phone and huffed again.

 

She sighed and turned her head back towards Mamoru, watching him work. He was immersed in the book, not glancing back.

 

She sighed again.

 

“What’s this feeling Mamo-chan?” She asked after a while.

 

He answered without a beat and without looking up. “You’re bored cause I’m not done yet and it irritates you.”

 

She sighed again, head went back on the bed in exasperation, arms extended wildly around her.

 

She started whining after a while, if they couldn’t do something else first, and he’d just finish this later?

 

“I thought you wanted to start with the books.” Still no looking up.

 

“Yes I did. But this is no fun.” She pouted. “Gimme something to doooo.” She whined, a bit theatrically.

 

He moved, leaned right over her feet and reached into his bag that stood at the side of her bed. Rummaging in it for a second her got a small box out of it and tossed it at her. It was very light and it landed with a soft thud on her stomach.

 

She looked at it with furrowed brows for just the merest moment and then she squealed delightedly. It was a box of chocolates.

 

She ripped the foil off it and had popped the first few in her mouth with glee, her irritation completely forgotten already when a thought occurred to her. He’d done this before when he’d needed her distracted.

 

“Mamo-chan?” She eyed him suspiciously, yet talked with her mouth full. “Do you routinely keep chocolate in your bag for me for when I annoy you?”

 

His hand stilled, his lips pursed and she didn’t _see_ a blush but she _felt_ one.  

 

“I might.” He murmured, flustered.

 

“MAMO-CHAN!” She huffed.

 

“What?!” He finally looked up at her, and cringed at her pursed lips. “You like chocolate!”

 

She glared a bit, but then shrugged and popped another chocolate into her mouth. Then said with her mouth full; “Get me the Peko-chan one again next time.”

 

He chuckled, and went back to her book.

 

She flopped back on her back. They were positioned opposite from each other, him sitting at the foot, she at the head, legs touching. She got out her phone, took a few pictures of him with her camera (he grumbled, she said it’s his fault, he looks cute like this), while he continued doing the work.

 

She bit into another piece of chocolate– carefully this time, this one smelled weird – and pulled a face. “ _Bleghh_ ,  a coffee one.” She wrinkled her nose and took it from her mouth again, then looked at it, unsure what to do with it.

 

So she glided to her knees and held it up to his face instead. He opened his mouth without looking up and she popped it in, then sat back down.

 

And sighed. She really didn’t know how much longer she could take this without exploding from boredom.

 

She growled, drummed her feet on the bed successively and looked at him pointedly.

 

He looked up from her book, irritated and they sat staring each other down for a moment.

 

“Let’s do something else for this in between.” She said with an indignant pout.

 

He sighed. “What do you suggest then.”

 

“We could test if our dreams are like, _actually_ the same.” She sat up a bit straighter.

 

“Usako, it sounds crazy, yes, but I have absolutely _no doubt_ that those are the same dreams and that you send them to me.“  He said, trying his utmost to be patient.

 

“But, shouldn’t we like, check? Couldn’t it be coincidence? Or I do send them to you, but I’m not actually _your_ princess, and she looks totally different after all?”

 

“ _Usako,_ I’m _telling_ you, she’s _you_.”

 

“Still though.”

 

He huffed, putting his pen on Usagi’s book.  “Well how would you go about that? We can’t exactly go and _show_ them to each other.”

 

“Well… we could draw them though.” She said, and with that she hopped from the bed and rummaged around her shelf, only to come back and slide into her previous position with the clipboards they’d used for their math assignment, a few pencils and crayons and paper.

 

He sighed.  “I really don’t think that’s necessary.”

 

“Mamo-chan – we ‘re suggesting things like, what... reincarnation here?” She nudged the Keats book in his lap with her knee.  “Shouldn’t we make sure?”

 

“Usako, we’ve talked about our dreams so often now, even _if_ there had been aspects that were different … I’d remember them the way we talked about them now. Basic principles of eyewitness credibility. Memories change when you talk about them long enough.”

 

Her shoulders slumped and she pouted at him. “Well, do it because I want you to, then?”

 

He gave her a look then grumbled and took the clipboard and paper from her, then plucked a pencil from her grasp.

 

“What am I drawing, then.” He said, sighing. 

 

Her eyes lit up. “Umm…you draw the castle and I draw the dress I wear?”

 

His brow furrowed. “I don’t see the castle itself often enough to draw it from my mind.”

 

Her face fell and she shrank a bit into herself.

 

In answer, his whole demeanor changed. He sat up a bit straighter and looked at her tenderly, a bit apologetic. “Well, I would _recognize_ it immediately though... how about you draw the castle and I draw you?”

 

“You draw the _princess_ , you mean. The point is to not assume it’s me when you do.” She scolded.

 

He rolled his eyes at her but smiled. “Right, I’ll draw the _princess_ , then.”

 

“Okay then!” She said happily, poising up her pen. “But no peeking at mine in between!”

 

Another eye roll, then he frowned at the pencil he got from her. “I'll need a different one. This one’s rubbish.” He said, glaring at it.

 

She gave him a look. “Are you insulting my pencils now, Chiba?”

 

He sighed, he’d be dislocating an eye soon from all the eye rolling he was doing. “Just hand me my bag.”

 

She leaned out of the bed, picked up his black briefcase and pushed it towards him.  He rummaged in it and took out a small box of fancy artist’s pencils and coals.

 

She raised an eyebrow at him and he shrugged at her and set to work.

 

They both drew in silence for a while. She colored hers brightly, taking great care with the placement of all the ornamental crescent moons on the building and adding sparkly shooting stars in the sky behind it. She felt quite pleased with herself. They both worked peacefully when she suddenly noticed that he kept glancing up at her.

 

“Hey!” She chastened him. “You’re not supposed to draw _me_.”

 

“But... she's you and you’re right here!” He said, his voice laced with exasperation.

 

“You're supposed to draw her from _memory_.” She scolded.

 

He rolled his eyes at her yet again but didn’t glance up at her anymore.

 

He finished before her and she noticed and hurried a bit as to not let him wait. When she was ready she sat up straight, holding her clipboard against her chest. “You first.” She said.

 

He turned his clipboard around, and what was on it was the nicest and most artistic portrait she had ever seen of herself. She was standing sideways, her face turned towards the viewer, hands clasped in front of her – complete with the little pearly bracelet on her wrist that she always saw in her dreams, the gold, pearl and white bodice of the dress she recognized exactly, down to the way her finger nails sparkled in a way Usagi’s never did when she _didn’t_ dream – her expression sad and teary, yet hopeful. The shading and technique of it was so nice she had to blink at it a few moments. It was _beautiful_. _She_ looked so beautiful. And the way he had done it with such precise, practiced strokes, as if he’d drawn her countless times before.  

 

She blushed.

 

And then she scowled at him. “I didn’t know you could _draw_.” She murmured offensively.  “Now I'm embarrassed to show you mine.”

 

He huffed and clicked his tongue and tore her clipboard from her grasp, while she protested.

 

It wasn’t so bad. In fact, he thought it was rather adorable. And it was the castle from his dreams alright.

 

"That's it. The same." He said, and gave both boards back to her. “May I continue with the Keats now?”  

 

She took the clipboards from his hands, and with a careful touch she followed the lines of the portrait he drew. Her heart sped up a little.

 

She nodded mutely and he flipped the page again.

 

She leaned over to her vanity and placed the blackboards on it – propping his up so his drawing could be seen from the bed. She smiled at it tenderly and then at him.

 

He was back to clicking his pen, immersed in her book.

 

“Thank you for doing this with me.” She whispered.

 

This time he looked up, and half-smiled at her, but didn’t say anything. 

 

“I know this may sound strange, cause, I have like, so many people around me, but…with these dreams and these powers, these were things I could never share before with _anyone_ … and that made me feel so lonely sometimes… but now I have you…and now I can… And it’s like, I’m complete now…” She trailed off, not actually really knowing where she wanted to go with this, so she just smiled at him instead.

 

He said nothing. In fact, his face stayed completely blank. But underneath the surface, she could feel, his emotions were roaring.

 

Without moving as much as a muscle in his face, he grabbed her legs around the knees and pulled. She shrieked, a bit giggly, and in a single move he had aligned her in a way that her upper body now lay flat on the bed but right next to his sitting form. He leaned over her face, sideways, and his face hovered just above hers, peering into her eyes.

 

He stayed silent for a bit, his face as blank as it was before but she felt the tenderness, the emotion in him and he stroked the side of her cheek with gentlest fingers, then he whispered, quietly.  “I love you.”

 

She beamed at him then, knelt to rearrange herself to cuddle herself to his side, and leaned her head on his shoulder while he went back to working through her book for her.

 

L

 

 

He was a bit disoriented when he woke up first and clutched at Usagi in reflex – he didn’t directly recognize his surroundings. Then he chuckled – they had spent the night at _his_ apartment for a change and he hadn’t recognized it immediately, wasn’t used to the sight anymore.

 

He sighed contently and pulled her towards him a bit tighter, she was fast asleep. Glancing at his alarm he saw it was already way past 10:30. He groaned a bit. Contrary to common belief around him he _wasn’t_ a morning person. In fact he _hated_ getting up, especially when the alternative was to snuggle up to Usagi’s naked warmth beside him. But he was conscientious, so he did it without complaining about it, at least usually.

 

All too reluctantly, and only because they had plans today, and only after a while of nuzzling her and stroking her in all kinds of places to get her to wake up with him after all so he wouldn’t have to leave her lying there so temptingly– to no avail of course – he did get up.

 

He showered and dressed sparsely, then went to pick up their clothes that were strewn around the place from last night, put hers on the side of his dresser and his own underwear and pants in the hamper. His white button down from last night he left beside her on the bed – he knew she liked to dress in his clothes in the mornings when they ate breakfast at his place. And so did he, even though he didn’t tell her so with words. She still got the point, of course.

 

He went into his kitchen and started preparing pancakes, standing at the stove bare-feet in just his dark slacks and his anthracite button down hanging open. He made sure to beat the egg-whites first, like he had seen Ikuko do last morning – so the pancakes would turn out as fluffy as those of her mother’s, the way she liked them.

 

He was almost done by the time she came traipsing from the bedroom, his shirt falling down her frame mid-thigh. He smiled at her. The smell of food never failed to wake her up in the end.

 

She came up towards him and hugged him around the middle from behind. “Mornin’” She mumbled sleepily, and leaned on him a little more heavily.

 

She didn’t move until he was done, and if it wasn’t for the fact that she moved with him when he did – to get the plates and things like that – he would have been sure she’d half fallen back asleep hanging from him.

 

They’d spent the rest of their Saturday going over her books, going over the art, comparing them to her dreams, comparing them to historian’s interpretations of the myth, to a tomb in modern-day Turkey with his name on it and to proverbs that had been inspired by the myth of him – apparently he’d slept a lot. They went through all accounts of Endymion as a supposed prince, shepherd and astronomer, to his relationship with the moon which ancient society had humanized and treated as the evil witch of the story seducing the youngling.

 

Though it did have a certain romantic touch, this myth, he found – Endymion as the mythological personification of sleep being so bewitched by the mythical moon goddess representing the night that he slept eternally to be with her.

 

Most of this didn’t fit of course. And they knew, too, that even though myths could often hold some truth of stories long forgotten, that most of this couldn’t apply. Still, some of these names in these myths sounded so familiar – Helios, Elysion, for instance – that he couldn’t just shove them away completely. 

 

And well, if there was little on Endymion they had found to be fruitful, there was even less on Selene – a name that sparked nothing in either one of them except for her connection to the moon and her crescent mooned depictions.

 

Which left them with their Sunday plans, now.

 

If the Endymion myths didn’t help so much, maybe the moon would – Which is why their plan today was to visit the planetarium in Ikebukuro, which, although it wasn’t by far the largest of Tokyo’s twenty planetariums, currently held an exhibition solely on the moon.

 

 With the first bite of her stack of pancakes Usagi became alive. “Oh _gaawd_.” She moaned appreciatively into her food, with her mouth full. “They’re just like Mama’s.”

 

He chuckled at her. “That was the plan.”

 

Truly, these were the moments he loved most with her. These small moments of normalcy, of routine, of home and of habit – the promise and glimpse of a life that might just about be theirs in the future, when they were older, and once he was allowed to ask it. Just like this, the two of them, still at the breakfast table at 70 years old, him making pancakes for her.

 

He’d always wondered – in books, films, anywhere, about the notion that routine and habit should somehow be something negative, when it was what he yearned for most –The knowledge that you don’t have to wonder about being loved, but when it is a given. The underlying unconditional trust of it all.  He promised himself to never take this feeling of routine and habit for granted, to always cherish it, to never forget how new and exciting and wonderful it felt for him to have her sitting here with him, clad in only his shirt, eating food he’d made for her.

 

“When do we have to leave?” She mumbled around a mouthful of pancake and cream, one hand held up in front of her mouth.

 

He glanced at the clock. 12:03.

 

He sighed. As much as he liked their Sunday plan, he was reluctant to let this very late morning end. “The exhibition closes at four on Sundays so we should probably try to hurry.”

 

She nodded, pouting, and devoured the remains of her second stack of pancakes in record speed before rushing around his apartment like a little whirlwind.

 

Even though they rarely stayed here overnight, she had a few changes of clothes and toiletries here – mostly work-out clothes that she didn’t bother to take home and that were washed here, as they trained at his place anyway, and some clothes to change into afterwards, as well as her shampoos and shower gels due to their after-training showering.

 

He finished dressing fairly quickly and thus could enjoy the view of her running around, gathering clothes, or of her shedding his shirt without any shame or thought given whatsoever that he was standing right there, hopping in the shower, leaving the bathroom door wide open so he could still go and brush his teeth while she was in there.

 

They talked a bit over the rushing water; he needed to talk pretty loudly so she would hear him under the stream, and she didn’t understand everything due to the toothbrush in his mouth that he was forming words around, but that didn’t hold them from it. They talked about their options what they could do next if the moon wouldn’t spark any memories either to their plans and schedules for next week; Usagi reminded him that it was her mother’s birthday next week and that he shouldn’t forget that her mother was throwing a small dinner party that Ikuko had wanted him there for, which gave him warm fuzzy feelings; Mamoru reminded her about her essay that she had yet to write for school that she had done nothing for yet which she grumbled about.

 

They’d left the house with her hair still slightly damp as drying it just took forever, and she was swiping away on her phone to look up the fastest connection to Ikebukuro with the trains as detoured as they were due to the broken tunnels in Shibuya, and he smiled ridiculously when he looked over her shoulder like he always did when he saw her unlock her phone: Her screen saver was their photo of his 19th birthday.

 

They arrived at their destination faster than they would have thought and the exhibition was more thorough and technically advanced than he would have imagined, with large screening rooms showing small documentaries about the moon’s formation to a whole section dedicated to legends about it – anything from the obviously very familiar Korean and Japanese or even Aztec folklore about the rabbit on the moon to ancient Chinese myths about immortals on the moon, or even to Selene, much to their advantage.

 

Some of them were quite wild of course, from werewolves to fertility gods, others were quite sweet; like the African myth of the moon god Mawu whose lovemaking to the sun god was believed to be the causes for lunar and solar eclipses.

 

And one thing he found especially impressive was the exhibition’s interactive approach. After they had browsed through the legends and geological sections, the astronomical section was spattered with little booths holding VR-glasses, depicting virtual replicas of the surface of the moon for anyone who donned them.

 

He was quite excited about this, explained the concept to her and held one out for her. “Once I switch it on, it’ll show you what you would see were you standing on the moon.” He said and her eyes grew wide and he smirked at her.

 

He slid the glasses on her and then pushed the start button.

 

She made excited little gasps and ohhs and ahhhs but then grew silent. She trembled a bit, and the feelings coming from her were growing exceedingly unnerving to him. He took her hand which she grasped strongly, clutching at him and he was about to stop the video when she whispered “Where is this?” In a small, hitching voice.

He looked over the board to the screen that showed a miniscule 2D version of what Usagi would be seeing in 3D, except that here it was subtitled with the names scholars had given the rock formations and grey landscape.

“Mare Serenitatis” He read to her.

Her breath hitched. It felt to him as if a pit was opening in her stomach. “Usako, are you alri—“

 

“I know this place.” She whispered.

 

He wanted to protest, tell her it couldn’t be, she was looking at images from outer space, but he could feel it in her, this sureness, this sense of déjà vu and recognition that he himself had felt when he had first laid eyes on her.

 

Her lips trembled. “Does this thing show me the whole thing, like 3D?” She asked.

 

“What do you mean?” He asked, stroking his thumb over the back of her hand.

 

“Like, when I turn around now, would it show me what’s behind me if I were actually on the moon?” She talked into his general direction.

 

“I think so.” He said, quietly, and she turned around, 180°, and gasped.

 

She stifled a cry and he ripped the glasses off of her. She looked at him with big, watery, disoriented eyes, looking lost somehow, as if she truly just did return from somewhere far far away and fell into his chest, hiccupping, crying.

 

He held her fast, felt her despair, and pressed her to him as best he could, whispering calming nonsense into her ear. “Shhh, I’m here, I’m here.”

 

She didn’t say anything, she grew silent, but the tears kept coming. She clawed her fingers into his button down shirt and let herself be calmed down by his murmurs and concerned kisses to her temple and the crown of her head.

 

What she had seen when she turned around was the image and exact view and angle of the surrounding open landscape and Earth in the sky as she had seen it all her life in her dreams. The only thing that was missing was the marble terrace she would usually have stood upon.

 

 

L

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be when I’m back home. I hope you liked it, and as I said, there will be one more post about this one single weekend!  
> And of course I’d love to hear your thoughts about it!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU GUYS for all the reviews again. I re-read every single one a dozen times, they TRULY make my day and keep me writing and inspired and it makes me so happy to get to hear what you guys liked and that you liked it in general, no matter if you’ve reviewed only once or review almost every chapter – I’m absolutely grateful for every single one. It’s no lie when I say they make me write faster and better and well… thank you, I appreciate it so much.  
> Going into this I was pretty sure this was gonna be a one-time-thing, me and this one fanfic. But right now with all your encouragement, this might just become a hobby. I’m not making promises – especially because this one isn’t even done yet, but it’s in my head, and it’s in my head because of your reviews.  
> So thank you, and I hope you’ll like the rest of this story as much as you liked the beginning and middle of it. And please keep letting me know.^^ <33
> 
> Anyway:  
> Back home in Germany now, and real life is starting again as my holidays are officially over now. Thus, I’ll be updating only twice a week from now on, or maybe faster SOMETIMES but not always, just as fast as I can –  
> as I’ve done this week and have announced before – but as I said, it’s most likely going to be 28 chapter in total, so it’s not such a long ride anymore, anyway ^^
> 
> Also, warning:
> 
> This chapter contains adult themes again.  
> I’ve kept it fairly innocent – all acts that I describe more thoroughly are pretty damn innocent in itself (at least in my European worldview), and also, I’ve kept to my principle of focusing on the relationship dimension of sexuality – you know, the one where sexuality is a wonderful means to convey acceptance and devotion.
> 
> (Not that there’s anything wrong with lust. It’s a pretty neat feeling, and I celebrate it, just not one I want to put too much focus on here, as I think the relationship dimension is a much bigger part of Usagi’s and Mamoru’s relationship and sexuality, at least in my headcanon.)

L

 

“So, what are we saying here… like really.” Usagi said with an exasperated look on her face.

 

Usagi was pacing the length of her room, Mamoru sat on the edge of her bed with his elbows on his knees. The sun had set, their Sunday almost gone. Usagi had fairly calmed down from her experience at the museum, they’d talked it through, they’d reviewed what they’d learned, what felt right about these stories, they had let it settle and fell silent over it, dinner was a distraction that felt like it was from a different world, especially when Kenji asked how their day had been and they’d needed to play the importance of it down so immensely.

 

He sighed, and ran a hand through his hair in his crouched position on her bed.

 

“Well,” He began, shaking his head for even thinking about what he was about to put into words. “What we’ve been insinuating but none of us both has had the guts to actually say out loud – is that we think we’re reborn, that I was a prince on earth and you a princess on the moon. “

 

She felt something in her gut plummet, her eyes widened at his words. This was so insane, this was so _utterly insane_ … “So… “

 

He groaned, his hand gripping at the roots of his hair. They both sighed, quite helplessly.

 

She blinked at him, then resumed her pacing. “Well, let’s talk about this rationally.”

 

“Right. Let’s talk about _this_ rationally.” He ground out. Every fibre in him was in conflict, his mind screaming that this was unscientific nonsense, that this couldn’t be true, his heart saying it must be.

 

He could absolutely understand why she would throw him this irritated look now. He would have done the same.

 

“Please, humor me.” She pouted and he sighed again.

 

“Alright, alright.“

 

“I mean… “ She stopped in front of her shelf and picked out a manga out of it, then waved it around in front of him. “Take Maron. She has all these powers because she’s actually the rebirth of Jeanne D’Arc and Eve and everything. It happens all the time!”

 

He frowned at her. “You’re arguing with _manga_ , Usako.”

 

She huffed, but put the manga back and went back to pacing, then threw him another look. “Well, for the sake of the argument, let’s assume we _are_ reborn, are we _sure_ we were royalty?”

 

His brow furrowed again. It was intuition, really, he couldn’t think of any real explanation on why he thought this. “Well, I’m pretty damn sure in my gut that you’re a princess.” He said towards her, no nonsense-and serious expression.

She cocked her head at him, frown still firmly in place and he was pretty sure it wouldn’t go anywhere anytime soon. “Well, if I’m a princess why do I only seem to own one dress?”

 

He shrugged, and threw his arms into the air for a moment, helplessly, then scrunched up his face, running a palm over it, and exhaled. “Maybe we keep dreaming of only one specific day? I mean, we _die_ on that day, would make sense to dream of that, right?”

 

She was silent for a moment, contemplating, and he looked at her expectantly. “Why’d _you_ think I must be a prince?” He asked.

 

She stopped at that, scratching her temple. “Eh… well, I was a kid when this started and you wear like, armor?”

 

He looked at her for a beat. “Okay, so we might just not have been royalty then.”

 

She had stopped her pacing in front of him and gave him a sheepish look. “Well, ... I mean.. there were castles involved and all…”

 

He sighed. “Maybe that’s beside the point. Point _is_ – do we think we are these guys here.” He tapped one tapered finger on the color print of the Ricci painting, which was lying on top of the Keats volume next to him on her bed, without looking at it but at her.

 

She frowned. “They are myths. Legend – What so you think like, we’re like, reborn greek mythical _gods_?”

 

She lowered herself down next to him on the bed and looked at him expectantly.

 

He drew a shaky breath and cringed. “No, of course we’re not gods...” He trailed off, helplessly, thought for a moment and then continued in a quieter, steadier voice. “But well, we do _have_ these powers. And I mean –  myths and legends come from somewhere, right? They’re kernels of truth in there that were jumbled in the course of time through retelling and retelling…” He sat up a bit straighter, gesticulating wildly with his hands and she slowly lowered herself next to him, while he continued talking. “So what if we were just, I don’t know – people with powers? What if all the myths of greek and asian gods and such were really people with powers, like us, that later were spun into tales of gods and heroes and such…?”

 

He trailed off and they sat next to each other, both looking in the same direction, taking all this in. She exhaled deeply, but didn’t dismiss his idea in the slightest.

 

She rubbed at her eyes, a bit at a loss for words and then lifted her head again, searching his eyes. “But, like, still for the sake of the argument and all, let’s assume we _are_ reborn royalty from ancient myths and our dreams _are_ really memories of that time...”  She poked him lightly in the chest and then waved her hand between them both. “What are the odds we miraculously both ended up in the same time and same place, both of us – here in Tokyo?”

 

This time he got up and started pacing, while she sat on the bed looking up at him, their positions reversed. “Well, maybe that bond? The magnetism?” He stopped short, glanced at her, and then continued pacing. “Or well, also maybe just… I mean,  the Tokyo-Yokohama region _is_ the most densely populated metropolitan area in the world, 37 million people? I mean, it could have just been chance, couldn’t it? If anywhere, then here?”

 

“But Mamo-chan…” She scrunched up her nose in thought, looking up at him. “We don’t only both live in the Tokyo Yokohama region. We both live in friggin’ Azabu-Juuban, Minato. We live like, what, 5 streets apart?”

 

 _Hm. Right_. He frowned and looked at her, sitting there, this permanent frown edged onto her face, those wide open honest blue eyes, trusting him, those soft, small, wonderful hands grasping her own knees a bit too tightly. He could feel their bond whirring between them. It felt powerful, magical… Surely it could do this? Pull them together like that? It sounded ridiculous, he knew, but he kind of believed it.

 

Maybe there was something to all these ancient ideas. Maybe there was something like soul mates. Maybe they shared a soul, and thus could only come into this world together. He shook his head, incredulous. Whatever the hell was he thinking here? He was a rational person for god’s sake.

 

He stopped in front of her then, smiled at her softly, and shrugged. “Who knows, maybe everyone has that? Maybe Buddhism got it right? Maybe this is our like, thousandth rebirth. Maybe we’ve always lived and died together, somewhere?”

 

And he had to admit, he liked the thought of that.

 

He sat down again, next to her, and one of his hands found her hair, lacing his fingers through it. She raised her eyebrows at him, commenting his change in demeanor non-verbally, and scooted a little closer to him.

 

It wasn’t close enough in his opinion, so he let go of her hair, curled an arm around her waist and pulled her onto his lap.

 

She came willingly and hugged him close and he hugged her back tightly, coiling his fingers into the back of her shirt and inhaling the scent of her hair.

 

He liked the idea that if there was something akin to rebirth, he would never have to be in a world without her in it.

 

They sat like this on her bed for a while, until she withdrew a little.

 

He sighed, but kept his hands fisted into her shirt. “So, what does this tell us now?” He whispered at her.

 

She smiled warmly and put a hand to his cheek, stroking softly. “That you were made for me.”

 

He chuckled and raised an eyebrow at her. “Excuse me?” He said with a crooked grin, looking up at her on top of him. “I was made for _you_? Might I remind you that I’m older than you? I was here first. If anything, _you_ were made for _me_.”

 

She grinned and rolled her eyes at him extra slowly, for his benefit, and he chuckled again. Then she knelt up, pressing her chest to his face accidentally with the movement for just a second – and rolled her eyes again for she could feel what it did to him – and moved off of him to sit next to him once more.

 

His hand had fallen on the bed between them and she took it, pulled it into his lap and stroked the back of it gently.

 

They sat in silence for a while, he could practically feel her thoughts going back to her virtual walk on the moon this afternoon – her feelings were roaring again, a mix of recognition, fear, disbelief, nostalgia, even.

 

She sighed, her gaze lingering on their hands in her lap, and started talking in a whisper. “So… what _does_ this tell us? Do we believe this?”

 

He sighed as well, ran his free hand through his hair and after a moment pulled his hand out of her grasp, got up, and started pacing again.

 

He looked at her sideways. “It _feels_ right. Does this sound crazy?”

 

A beat, and then, “Yes… but it _does_ feel right.” She whispered.

 

Both fell silent, and he ran both hands through his hair, elbows up, and grasped at the strands forcefully, exhaling loudly.

 

She sat on the bed silently, watching his internal struggle carefully and then started frowning. “So… you like…ever think we’re maybe together just because these two loved each other?”

 

“No.” He shot out, without any hesitation, and turned to look at her, mimicking her frown.

 

“No?” She asked, hesitantly.

 

“No.” He answered, as decisively as before. “I love _you_. I fell in love with _you_.” He said, and took a step closer to her.  “I’ve dreamed about the princess all my life, but I only started thinking about her that way _after_ I met you and _only because_ she looked like _you_ , not the other way around.  It was always _you_. Don’t doubt it.”

 

The look in his eyes was intense, and she averted her gaze, feeling unsure. She looked down at her hands that were fidgeting in her lap.

 

“But…” She began. “I mean if she looked exactly like me…”

 

He felt her doubt, not quite self-conscious, for he knew she wasn’t, and she didn’t doubt his feelings for her, yet there was this sensation he could feel nagging at her, and it unnerved him.

 

He frowned. “Usako. I don’t love you for your _looks_.”

 

She glared back at him in answer and his eyes widened and he hurried to make himself clearer, “I mean, of course I _love_ how you look, but that’s not what I love you _for_.” 

 

She still huffed at him, if playful now, and crossed her arms over her chest and her legs over one another and sat up a bit straighter on her bed, a challenging look in her eyes.

 

He swallowed, a bit relieved, he knew that look from her and knew that she wasn’t mad, still he felt he needed to assure her, so he thought for a moment and then lowered himself to his knees directly in front of her sitting form perched on her bed, so he was squatting in front of her and their eyes were at the same height.

 

He nudged her leg gently and she uncrossed it, and then smiled up at her. She pursed her lips but couldn’t hold the glower for long, his smile affecting her and she ended up smiling after all.

 

Then he brought a hand to her face and stroked his thumb softly, with the barest pressure, across her lower lip and smiled. “I love you for this sweet smile that you so willingly give to anyone. “ Her lips opened almost involuntarily upon contact with his thumb, her breath hitched, her heart sped up, although he’d only looked her in the eyes and touched her lip and he reveled a little in how openly and easily she responded to him.

 

They looked at each other, both very aware of the very sudden change in mood between them.

 

She blinked, then melted into his hand a little and he smiled at her, continuing. “I love you for believing there is good in anyone.” He said, his fingers still smoothing over her lip and then moving to her chin, to tilt her face gently towards him. Her lips started trembling a bit and he smiled again, then kissed her softly, his lips mimicking the soft touch of his thumb before it and she sank into it, opening her mouth further, touching just the tip of her tongue against his lower lip and he trembled this time.

 

He could feel her heart speed up even further, now hammering against her chest, her breathing get shallower and his own body answer.

 

It was still somewhat baffling to them, how lucky they were to feel what the other felt, how fast this happened between them sometimes, how fast an innocent touch here or a small kiss there could make one of them spiral out of control so immediately, which, in turn, made the other follow suit. Though neither of them knew exactly who was to blame this time.

 

Her hands went to his chest, fists clenching into the fabric of his shirt, and he let go of her lips and stroked the side of his face against her temple, bringing his lips to her ear. “I love you for believing in Tuxedo Mask before you even knew it was me” He whispered in her ear and she sighed breathily.

 

She unclenched her fists from his shirt and let them travel down his arms, catching his hands in hers, and moved his hands to her hips and the waistband of her skirt. He pulled at her as if out of reflex and she sunk from the edge of her bed and into his lap, straddling him, her knees clenched tightly to his sides, her skirt riding up high, the crotch of her cotton panties pressed against him where their bodies met.

 

She clasped her hands around his shoulders, her chest touching his with every shallow breath she took. He nuzzled her neck, smoothing his nose along the soft skin of her throat, inhaling, exhaling, and continued.  “I love you for letting me into your home, for allowing me into your family.”

 

His hands, still at her hips, tugged at the edges of her shirt, freeing it from her skirt and slowly, ever so slowly, he moved it upwards. She held up her arms, giggled a little, and he peeled it from her, over her head and from her arms and her glorious long streamers of hair and threw it across the room, not caring where it went.

 

His hands flew to her thighs which were so enticingly clenched around his hips, and he stroked them ever so softly, just the way she liked it, sliding her short skirt up towards her hips even more in the process, while he bent towards her and inhaled the scent of her skin between her breasts for just a little moment, and then whispered, “I love you for your kindness and this giant big heart of yours –“ And he placed the softest of kisses just above the soft swell of her left breast, a little ways over the seam line of her simple cotton bra, where he could feel her heartbeat just underneath, thundering wildly underneath his lingering lips.   

 

She smiled tenderly at this oh so sweet gesture, and she felt a lump form in her throat because of it, her chest felt so full with affection and sensation she thought she might burst, laced with this sheer and utter level of arousal she knew wasn’t completely her own but shared between them. She gasped. She wanted him _so. damn. much._

 

He leaned back, and caught her gaze. Her eyes had darkened, he could feel her arousal slam into him with a force through their bond and had trouble concentrating. He moved his hands from her thighs and stroked their length towards the crotch of her panties, which were pressed against his shirt the way she sat clenched around and on top of him – touching it briefly and she gasped – before tugging his own shirt free from his pants, the fabric effectively sliding against her.

 

A little whimper escaped her lips and it resonated in his gut, shooting straight into his groin, making his vision swim from the onslaught of sensation through their connection.  With trembling fingers he unbuttoned his shirt, his eyes never leaving her hooded ones. “Love you for … accepting me… with all…” He had trouble getting the words out now, because she slid her hands into the parting of his shirt and stroked the skin of his stomach so very lightly, muscles pulling taut wherever she had touched him, while jerking her hips slightly forward, moving up against him, and she gasped in turn, feeling what it did to him.  ” … my flaws –“ He managed to work the last button and she helped him slide his shirt off of him while mumbling underneath breathy sighs that he doesn’t _have_ flaws to which he chuckled and threw her a look as if saying ‘ _See?_ ’.

 

She bucked her hips again, just for a moment, and her hands flew to his shoulders, clutching at him to keep herself steady, both of them moaning softly, and he lifted a hand up to her collarbone, tracing it ever so gently with his index finger, then slowly moving downwards, all the while holding her gaze. “I love you for klutzing out, for being loud and cheerful  and for…”  His finger travelled lower, across the cotton of her bra, down to her navel, and stopping briefly to stroke the sensitive skin of her lower belly and she tightened her hold on his shoulder with a soft little gasp. “… making ridiculous scenes that make me laugh…”

 

He traced the edges of her panties then, watching her face carefully while he did so, not wanting to miss a single contortion, and felt her shudder and convulse above him, and her arousal rush freely into his consciousness and loop back to her in the process –  so much stronger like this when he was touching  her, when they were skin to skin, when they were sharing this.

 

He hadn’t openly touched her yet, his fingers only tracing along the soft little fabric barrier, and already she was bucking her hips, moaning, mewling, hissing air through her teeth, undone and without any shame in front of him. He watched her facial expressions with a cocky grin, and then, just for a moment,  “I love you for the little whimpers you make when I do this…”  he whispered huskily as he dipped a finger into her panties and stroked her once, long, with a practiced and perfected touch, before withdrawing his hand again and true to his word she whimpered breathily, almost pitifully.

 

They stopped talking altogether then, except for little sighs and deep moans, and he firmly grabbed her underneath her bottom, she wrapped her legs around him fully and he lifted her up and onto the bed.

 

She fumbled with his belt and giggled – she _never_ got it open on her own – and he fumbled with her bra and she giggled again – for all his nimbleness he never got _that_ open either, and they both fumbled with the condom, with shaking, clumsy fingers. They’re both intoxicated, on auto-pilot, touching, stroking, rubbing where they feel the other needed it most, and it’s only moments until he pushed inside her, and the feeling is so exquisite to him he shudders violently and almost comes on the spot – a sensation that vibrates within her and makes her do just that. 

 

He had to bite down hard on his tongue to keep from following her over the edge immediately when the sensations of her orgasm rocked through his system. Sometimes this worked now;

 

It had taken him a considerable amount of training and self discipline to learn _not_ to become unhinged the moment he felt her orgasm and instead keep his wits about him to be able to draw it out for her, and for them. And it wasn’t a miniscule task either, with their bond, really, and thus he didn’t manage it all too often. Like attempting to stay rooted to the spot when waves and waves of ocean water came crashing at you, trying to rip you away. A task she hadn’t managed so far at all - whenever he would come even close to explode she did as well, and well – he _did_ have better training in distinguishing his feelings from other people’s, so it didn’t surprise him that she couldn’t. And it wasn’t that he minded that in the least whatsoever.

 

He still didn’t last long though, he never did, it just didn’t _work_ with all those shared and amplified sensations coursing between them, and only two minutes or three after she’d come she came again – second hand, through his orgasm this time – and he collapsed panting on top of her, trying, wanly, to support his weight on one of his elbows as to not crush her, but she was having none of it and pushed at his elbow so he fell onto her fully and she cradled him to her, all her limbs clinging to him and she whispered in his ear, “I love you, too.”

 

L

 

It was a Monday afternoon and Ami sat perched over her microscope in her lab when a girl with shoulder-length very light icy blue hair and blue eyes barged into her lab without knocking, carrying a big cooler box with her.

 

“Another order came through for you again, Ami-san.” The girl said and placed the box atop Ami’s desk with a grunt. It made a loud clang. “What do you have in there, _rocks_?” She joked.

 

Ami cringed a bit and looked apologetically at her. “I’m so sorry, Viluy-san. You really didn’t have to carry that for me, I would have gone up myself.”

 

Viluy shrugged. “I don’t mind. I was picking something up for Professor Tomoe anyway, so I thought I’d get the mail for the whole lab while I’m at it.” She looked pointedly at the cooler. “So what’s in there? That’s the fourth package that came through for you, and from the California Institute of Technology? And weren’t the others from really far away places, too? Cairo? The Netherlands?”

 

Ami blushed. Viluy was always so nosy and she didn’t know how to handle her. But she figured she should just show her the contents, they looked innocent enough. Ami figured if she didn’t tell her she might investigate further and find out things about the contents Ami would rather keep secret.

 

So Ami reached over and unlocked the security latch of the cooler and reached inside to take out one of the individual wrapped vacuum boxes to show them to Viluy, having picked out the most inconspicuous looking ones inside.

 

Viluy raised her eyebrows and looked at Ami amusedly. “What? I was kidding before, there are _actually_ rocks in there?” She laughed.

 

Ami blushed a bit more and looked fondly at the crystal she was holding. The description on it said it was found in the Acasta River area in Canada, and was dated to be at least four thousand years old.  “They are mineral crystals. It’s a hobby of mine.”

 

Viluy shrugged her shoulders, looking clearly disinterested, just as Ami had hoped and anticipated, and instead the other blue-haired girl nodded towards Ami’s computer, where she’d been comparing the data of the recent Cardian attacks on.

 

“Any advancements on that front?” Viluy asked, changing the topic.

 

“It’s still running, but I think I need to adjust the script from moderation to mediation, I’ve been looking at a dead end before.” Ami said and placed the glass container with the crystal on her desk.

 

Viluy nodded, and both girls shifted into an uncomfortable silence, not knowing what else to talk about until Viluy excused herself, telling her she’d better let her get back to her work.

 

Ami nodded a goodbye, relieved to be left alone again, and once Viluy had closed the door to her lab behind her, Ami went over to her small cabinet and pulled out the drawer. The drawer itself was lined in rubber foam, and on it were seven other mineral crystals in their glass cases, all labeled with different find spots and dates.

 

She shuffled them around a bit to make room for the new arrivals, and then emptied the contents of the cooler. Four new crystals went into her collection. They were clustered – those, like the one from Berlin, that was around 3000 years old and had been found in the same area, those from North America that were around 4000 years old, one single one from southern China – Canton, back then –

 as young as 220 years old.

 

Of the now eleven crystals, the three oldest ones were all dated to be approximately 7000 years old, all of them found in the same region in mainland Europe that archeologists recently coined to be part of the remnants of traces of the oldest civilization found in the world so far, with barely any knowledge about who they were, except that they were able to erect monumental constructions of outstanding proportions.

 

Yet all of these Crystals were hers. Crystals with her DNA in them. Crystals of her making, ones she could recreate right now.

 

And with access clearing to international research samples through this lab, she could study them now. Get to the bottom of this. Get answers.

 

Ami was stirred from her thoughts by a noise from her computer, signaling her that her current batch of data had finished running. She went back to her monitor and cursed.

 

Still the same.  The glitches were still there in the data.

 

Ami had recognized a pattern in their attack behavior, and had been able to cross-reference them with genetic markers in the Cardian fog. They attacked in phases, and if her calculations were right, one phase was only just concluding. This was what she had written this program for.

 

She wasn’t _always_ right though, the glitches in the data were still there. Like the last times – there were two attacks she had predicted that never happened, there was nothing in the media about them, no spikes in their controls, and yet her data said there were… So she’d have to revise and re-calculate until she could give this information out to the police, but still…

 

Except that all the other Cardian activity was reproduced spot-on. To the minute the program she had written had been able to predict them, much like seismographic activity, and she was so _sure_ she hadn’t done anything wrong, yet these small unexplainable glitches appeared, still.

 

If her data was correct there would be another attack tonight, but none for a little while again. She’d informed Professor Tomoe of course, who in turn had informed the police. There was little they would be able to do shy off providing enough paramedics and physicians on standby, warning the hospitals, etc. Yet it was better than nothing.

 

It was also how this research group had been able to get at the Cardian samples so quickly. Remnants of Cardian excess, be it powdery substance, fluids, twigs, whatever its form, excretion from these creatures that didn’t dissolve with the Cardian itself after its destruction. It had been what this lab has been running their tests on.

 

Ami was shaken out of her thoughts again, this time by a soft and timid little knock to her door. She smiled, knowing the only person who would come here to be so polite and respectful to knock in such a quiet way as to not disturb her should she be in a moment of deep concentration.

 

“Come in, Hotaru-san.” Ami called softly, and the door was opened carefully.

 

Hotaru was pale, paler than usual, and a bit weak in the knees. She supposed she just came from another examination in her father’s part of the laboratories. “I came to bring you your book back, Ami-san.” Hotaru said in a way of greeting, bowing slightly.

 

She held a heavy tome with both hands, ‘The Rise and Decline of Ancient Civilizations’ – Ami had lent it to her as she’d noticed Hotaru’s avid interest in the topic, in fact, Hotaru’s knowledge about these facets of History mostly far surpassed her own and Ami had found someone she could ask about aspects she found misleading herself in the younger girl, which greatly helped her research in this topic.

 

Hotaru held the book out for Ami to take with a little bow, who took it from her with both hands as well.

 

Ami smiled at her. “Did you enjoy it?” She asked, and Hotaru nodded. It had been what had drawn them together first – she’d met Hotaru a few weeks into her studies here at Infinity in their enormous library. Hotaru had an interest in World History, and Ami was currently researching ancient cultures. They’d been trading books between them ever since. And Ami had found Hotaru to be the first real friend she ever had, even though both of them were so quiet and careful none of them would ever suggest to spend time together outside their school grounds.

 

But that didn’t matter somehow. Their quiet companionship was more than Ami would ever ask for, and she was thankful for the way it was.

 

“I added some annotations, like you asked, about aspects I thought were conflicting with other sources.” Hotaru said, blushing, in a voice as quiet as Ami’s, and it was Ami’s turn to nod gratefully.

 

Also, Ami had been introduced to Professor Tomoe’s work with Hotaru’s mechanical limbs that kept her alive after her accident, so Ami had had access to Hotaru’s genetic makeup. It had surprised Ami a great deal to find some of the same mutated genomes in Hotaru, that she had in herself as well, among others which Ami had never seen before. To say it added to the mystery of her young friend was an understatement.

 

Ami shook her head, clearing it, and turned to the timid black-haired girl. “Are you on a break now?” She asked her.

 

Hotaru nodded mutely.

 

“Do you mind a little company? We could get a cup of tea together in the cafeteria?” Ami asked quietly.

 

Hotaru smiled slowly, gratefully. “I’d love that.”

 

 

L

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks SO MUCH to Antigone2 for beta-ing this chapter for me, as I was SO NERVOUS ABOUT IT!!! Getting your opinion on it really helped soothe my nerves!!


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I’ve managed a third update this week after all!
> 
> I blame your lovely reviews for it, they keep me going!^^
> 
> On another note:
> 
>  
> 
> I know most of you are desperately waiting for the other girls to join and everyone to get together – it WILL happen, of course it will, I promise. But not directly, cause no one’s telling anyone to do so, they have to work it own on their own.
> 
>  
> 
> What’s very important to me and the main focus of this story for me is that they all find this stuff out on their own accord and no one else’s– Mamoru and Usagi work it out on their own, so does Ami in her own different way, and so on. Also, it’s very important to me that they all have a choice in this.
> 
>  
> 
> The premise here was that there are no destiny-giving cats (at least not in the beginning) who tell them what to do and who they are and what’s their duty: Instead it’s their own choice to join and find their powers, and also to have the choice to choose against it. 
> 
> So yeah… I promise it will happen, but it’ll be more organic and step by step, so I hope you can stand the wait!!
> 
>  
> 
> In this way, Ikigai is kind of an origin story: How do they get together without the cats to tell them to, on their own free will.
> 
> That’s also why I chose the title. Ikigai is Japanese for your “reason to be”, your purpose, what you’re there for in life, what gets you up in the morning. I want them all to figure it out, and once they all do, Ikigai will be concluded.
> 
> That being said – it will conclude in a way that will enable me to easily write a sequel should I choose to and should you want one^^

L

 

They sat at dinner, Kenji had wrapped Mamoru up in a conversation about world politics and current affairs, which Mamoru was all too keen to partake in, and Usagi had to snicker at both of them. It was so adorable in her eyes how her father secretly really doted on Mamoru, for all the things he could talk about with him that he couldn’t with anyone else in the family, at least not in that depth, yet at the same time still tried to keep the pretense up that he would kick Mamoru out at any second should Usagi say the word – which of course would never happen, but that was her Papa for her.

 

Ikuko had made tempura soba for them, it was incredibly delicious, and Usagi and Shingo kept stealing each other’s tempura off their plates, accompanied by shoves and shrieks, at which Ikuko at one point only reacted with defeated groans anymore.

 

It was then that she felt her phone vibrate with a text from Rei, telling them of a Cardian about to appear in Shinjuku. _‘Shinjuku station. South Exit JR. Gonna be a big one. GET THERE NOW, idk exactly when it will appear, but VERY SOON.’_

 

Usagi’s heart sped up, the way it only did in the face of danger, and Mamoru and Usagi looked at each other alarmed.  Mamoru, she felt, understood directly what the matter was.

 

 Usagi jumped up from her chair so forcefully it clattered noisily to the floor behind her.

 

The Tsukinos looked at her bewildered, Shingo thought it was a reaction to his latest shrimp tempura robbery off of her and was starting to tell her not to make such a scene of it, her parents looked at her with surprised expressions, soba hanging from chopsticks mid-air.

 

“What are you doing?!” Kenji asked her, shaking his head.

 

“Uh…” Usagi stuttered, looking at Mamoru helplessly with wide eyes. “Uh… there’s a fight” She directly cringed once the words had left her mouth and Mamoru’s eyes widened in alarm and so did hers.

 

She rushed, stuttering. “Uh, uh… Naru!”, Usagi all but yelled. “She had a fight with Umino. It’s really  bad. We have to go to her immediately.”

 

Both of them exhaled, and Usagi grabbed Mamoru by the arm and dragged him up from his chair.

 

Her parents still looked at her, a bit dumbstruck and puzzled and Kenji shrugged at Ikuko in a way that seemed to mean _‘Our daughter, I guess, I don’t know?’_ while Shingo shook his head, befuddled, and frowned. “Why would Naru need _Mamoru_ , too?” He asked.

 

Mamoru had pretty much been dragged out the room already when Usagi called back over her shoulder, flustered, “Eh.. eh… male perspective!” and shoved Mamoru’s shoes at him while throwing on her own.  “Eh. We need to go. Sorry Mama. BYE!” She hollered through the house and they ran through her neighborhood towards their metro station.

 

Usagi had her heart in her mouth the whole train ride towards Shinjuku, and was so anxious that they might be late at the scene, even though they hadn’t felt the Cardian yet, that she ran straight for the wrong exit in the maze that was Shinjuku metro station and Mamoru had been able to do nothing but trail after her if he didn’t want to lose her amongst all these people. Because of it they had to run across the shopping districts of Shinjuku on the outside of the metro station towards the JR station south exit.

 

Her heart missed a beat, as it usually did here, when out of the corner of her eye she spotted the huge plastic Godzilla head atop the Gracery Hotel skyscraper. It had been unnerving her ever since her first fight as Sailor Moon, and made her feel the urge to transform _now quick gooo_.

 

They ran as fast as they could – Usagi always several paces in front of Mamoru as she was so much faster than him and he would have lost her weren’t it for the many people blocking her way that she had to skitter around, but who still stood out of the way once he got there.

 

They were almost there when seemingly out of nowhere Rei stepped in Usagi’s path and got pretty much run over. Rei had deliberately touched Usagi’s arms to stop her but Usagi’s momentum was too great and they both toppled over on the side walk – Usagi apologizing, Rei cursing, both loudly.  

 

“It’s ok. You don’t have to run.” Rei said, picking up her quiver that had tumbled to the ground with her and reaching a hand towards Usagi to help her up at the same time that Mamoru had caught up with them. “It won’t be here for another hour or so, I think, and I’ve already placed an anonymous call. They’re evacuating JR Shinjuku station as it is.”

 

Both Mamoru and Usagi exhaled loudly, relieved as to not be late, and Usagi clutched at Rei, huffing and puffing, catching her breath, Mamoru in turn stood with his hands on his knees behind them, doing the same.

 

“Sorry.” Rei cringed at them. “This one was really difficult. I can’t quite see it as clearly or when it comes. It almost seems to be… not fully there, if it makes sense…”

 

Rei – like she usually was during Cardian attacks – was dressed inconspicuously in tight dark grey denims and an oversized black hoodie as to blend in and hide better. And it usually did the trick as well, people didn’t notice her at all, though Usagi really couldn’t believe how a girl as captivatingly beautiful as Rei could ever be overseen, no matter what she wore.

 

They resumed walking in the right direction, and on the way Rei provided them with as much information as she could interpret from the vague feelings she got about the Cardian and about its most likely appearance.

 

“A butterfly?!” Usagi sputtered, and Rei flinched apologetically at her.

 

“I’m sorry, but that’s what I think the fire said.” She said with a cringe, “It isn’t really an exact science these premonitions.”

 

They still had a little ways to go, and since Usagi trusted Rei fully (and yes, of course she could feel what it was Mamoru felt about that, but she knew it in her bones that they could trust her, so he would just have to deal – also, that’s what one did in a team; trust each other), they talked a little about what was most on her mind until they could hear the sirens grow louder.

 

“So you think he was this Endymion?” Rei said, pointing her thumb towards Mamoru yet not sparing him one glance.

 

“Yes.” Usagi nodded and she felt Mamoru sigh beside her.  “And I this Selene.”

 

Rei shook her head, eyebrows pulled low in a frown. “That sounds wrong somehow.”

 

Usagi and Mamoru both looked at her expectantly. “Eh?” Usagi said.

 

Rei’s eyes widened a bit and she held her hands up apologetically. “Oh, no, not the concept, that sound just very _very_ right, just not that name…” Rei said, then frowned again and looked into the distance. “Selene… I don’t think that was your name.”

 

Usagi and Mamoru looked at each other, and she could see that even though he still had his reservations about Rei even he acknowledged how big a thing it was that Rei would accept this crazy theory of theirs so very willingly, how much it meant they might just be in fact very very right about it.

 

They didn’t have long to ponder that thought though or ask any further questions, because they were now close to their destination, and people were fleeing the area more or less in an un-orderly fashion, directed by the police.

 

Mamoru pulled Usagi into a slightly bigger gap between houses halfway there that one wouldn’t be able to call an alley yet was secluded enough that they could transform there with Rei standing with her back towards them to block them from sight, and they did just that.

 

The police was already clearing the area – it surprised them lately how many task forces seemed to be on standby just at the right time lately – which never the less was still a ruckus, this being the middle of Shinjuku after all. Police officers were speaking through megaphones, some people were cursing and walking in an orderly fashion, others were running for their lives even though nothing had happened yet.

 

The whole city seemed on edge since that giant ass Cardian in Shibuya, and Usagi really couldn’t blame them for it.

 

“How are you going to get into the area without being seen?” Mamoru asked Rei, eyeing the amount of police cars surrounding the scene.

 

“Don’t worry about me, I have my ways.” She said offhandedly, tossing her hair, dismissing him. “Just get in there.”

 

And with that Usagi could feel Mamoru’s careful hands at the small of her back and underneath her knees and he had her lifted in his arms in one single swift movement, then lept dramatically into the air and out of the shadows between the two houses they had transformed in and with his cape billowing behind him onto one of the police cars nearest to Shinjuku JR station.

 

Sailor Moon rolled her eyes. He had it with grandiose over-the-top entrances. If she wouldn’t know better she wouldn’t put it past him to start making speeches in haiku or something. But better not give him ideas.

 

They had startled the police officers whose car it was, one of them gave an almost comical high-pitched shriek and some other people around them cheered. Usagi smiled, yet could see Mamoru getting flustered underneath the mask. He wasn’t used to so much attention, or praise.

 

Which was also very new to him, she got that, especially as Tuxedo Mask. Ever since she’d come around as Sailor Moon and smiled into cameras and talked to them about defending them, and dragging Tuxedo Mask into the spotlight when he’d saved another person instead of letting him flee immediately like he would have done on his own, the media suddenly had gotten over him and his alleged criminal career as a jewelry robber and embassy crasher and somehow now seemed to sing a whole new tune.

 

And even though he would never admit it, she knew he enjoyed this new side of the ‘job’ – even if she _wouldn’t_ be able to feel it in him one could see it – in the way he’d swish his cape a bit more dramatically, in the way little graceful triples and twirls had found themselves into his movements, or the way his voice had become a little lower and sexier when he shouted during battles. Everything had a little bit more show and grandeur, now.

 

Tuxedo Mask hopped off the police car and into the fenced off area and stood her gently on her feet.

 

They walked across the street, which had been barricaded off. The whole site of the Lumine 1 and 2 department store buildings that connected to Shinjuku South Exit had been evacuated. Walking into the middle of it felt eerily like walking into the heart of a hurricane – everything was silent and still, while behind them they could still hear the shouts and megaphones and camera crews that were starting to arrive.

 

She felt on edge, scared, like she always did before battle – she wasn’t stupid, she knew how dangerous it was what they were doing – she just didn’t want to run away from it – yet she had enough common sense to be frightened of every Cardian they encountered. She clutched his gloved hand in her gloved one, and they could both feel the tingle of electricity and danger in the air right before the Cardian appeared.

 

Usagi’s eyes widened, and she swallowed.

 

This Cardian was giant, and eerily ghost-like, and behind them they could hear chaos ensue.

 

The Cardian was an enormous ethereal being akin to a butterfly – Rei had been absolutely right –, except that it was almost as tall as the Lumine building, with huge fluttering pearly transparent wings with a greenish hue to them, that almost seemed to disappear into fog on the edges of it and alternatively became solid, flickering. It had two intertwined horns that appeared as a single twisted one that it could utilze as a lance where one would suspect a head and it had a wheel-like device between its upper wings that turned in its counter direction with every move it made, yet no visible head or legs but something akin to tendons extending from its body.

 

One could clearly see the ‘not fully there’ aspect Rei had interpreted – it seemed to flicker in and out of its solid form, in and out of existence, as if it was already made from the fog they usually dissolved into upon destruction.

 

Which, they realized when Tuxedo Mask threw his first batch of roses at the almost fragile looking wings, would turn out to be a problem. The moment the roses would have struck, the wing became permeable, dissolving slightly for just as long to let the roses sail right through it, no harm done.

 

Problem, indeed – if it couldn’t be touched, Usagi wouldn’t be able to do anything to it. Her powers, or at least the way she used them, relied on touch at the moment. She had to touch the Cardian in order to expel her energy. That was the only way she had learned to control and direct her powers consciously. And with the levels of anxiety she felt coming off of Tuxedo Mask behind her, she was pretty sure he realized the same thing.

 

Also, it flew. Not exactly fair play either, Usagi thought grudgingly, and Mamoru didn’t exactly seem to like that either, from all the feels she got off him.

 

It was too big. Way too big. The evacuated area wouldn’t do and already Usagi could see and feel people beyond the blockades dropping to the ground, touched by its powder – As it shrieked – a sound that seemingly came from everywhere, anywhere at once, and with it emitted a phosphorous powder which glowed a bright green, which in turn caused everyone that was touched by it to paralyze immediately and their energy to flow towards its tendons.

 

Though again, Usagi saw – it selected its victims. Some dropped, some didn’t, seemingly at random. She furrowed her brow. There needs to be a pattern, what’s the pattern here?

 

“Sailor Moon!” She heard Rei yell somewhere behind her. “Out of the way!”

 

But Tuxedo Mask had already grabbed her by the waist and carried her out of the Cardian’s phosphourous powder-spewing path.

 

It had buried its large horns into the pavement, breaking it, exactly where Sailor Moon had just stood. Rubble flew from it in large chunks when it extracted its horns from the broken asphalt.

 

With a roar, the Cardian spread its enormous wings, and turned its whole attention towards Sailor Moon. Its tendons wiggled in her direction, and the powder lost its affect on some of the Cardian’s victims; they came to.

 

Usagi swallowed. She knew what this meant.

 

The Cardian found her energy to be tastier.

 

“Oh _no_ you don’t.” Tuxedo Mask growled at the Cardian and pushed Sailor Moon forcefully behind him.

 

Tuxedo Mask drew his sword and went to tackle the Cardian, ran at it full speed –yet completely fell though it – it had dematerialized upon touch.

 

Usagi could hear the screams beyond the barricades, the Cardian came back towards her and Mamoru ran to her –

 

She knew, without a doubt, that they had to get the Cardian away from here. There were too many victims here. And she also knew, ‘luckily’, that she herself was the yummiest thing in the Cardian’s vizier.

 

“ _No_!” Mamoru yelled at her.

 

 His eyes widened in terror, and before he was able to reach her, Usagi had dashed away and ran, as fast as her legs could carry her, and with a flying Cardian in her wake – following her as she had predicted – through side streets and alleys, to a cacophony of yells and screams, to the most open and deserted place – because still closed off for renovation – she could think of.

 

Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden. The very place, it seemed like forever ago, that couple had died on him.

 

To Mamoru it felt as bad an omen as they come

 

 

L

 

He cursed the universe – it seemed for almost the hundredth time – for her speed. Using herself as bait when they currently had no effective way to fight that thing – he was terrified, no surprise there.

 

It didn’t help that this Cardian – with its translucent appearance and its strangely melodic groans that didn’t seem to come directly from the creature itself – was the most frightening they had yet encountered.

 

He took to the sky, jumping up towards the nearest fire escape latter and following Sailor Moon and the enormous Cardian via rooftop – he was faster this way when he didn’t need to pay attention to any obstacles, and yet Usagi was still so much faster, and so was the Cardian, flying behind her in her wake. He could vaguely sense that Rei, on the ground, was dashing after them as well.

 

By the time he’d caught up with his Sailor Moon she had stopped on the grass field of the National Garden – wide open space, far away from the tea houses and bridges and bonsai, and she was doing something that to him seemed like beckoning the Cardian towards her.

 

The Cardian came at her with its horn again, burying them deep into the ground where Usagi stood while she had jumped upwards into the air to not be hit.

 

Mamoru tackled her out of the way, cursing. “Are you _trying_ to get yourself stabbed?”  He hissed at her, frustrated, scared, when they landed on the soft earthy pavement next to the grassfield with and _ooompf_ -sound.

 

“Ugh, Ma _mo_ ru.” She pushed at his chest, exasperated. “ I almost _had_ it.”

 

She extracted herself from him and met the Cardian halfway, which dug its way back out of the ground and went to attack her again.

 

“You can’t _touch it_.” He yelled after her.

 

But she didn’t listen, and judging by her fierce determination, he guessed she had a plan, and decided to trust her to know what she was doing, and instead kept close, as backup.

 

She beckoned it again, yet this time, instead of burying its horns in the ground, it expelled a blast of energy. Her eyes widened, she ducked just in time and so did Tuxedo Mask, and behind them some trees caught fire.

 

They looked at each other in alarm. That hadn’t happened before.

 

Yet Usagi’s eyes hardened, and she ran towards the Cardian again. This time it did what she wanted – attempted to stab her with its horns again, and just as the last time, she dodged the attack by a margin and the Cardian’s horns buried themselves into the ground.

 

Usagi landed, quickly, beside it, and touched the ground where it was buried.

 

Tuxedo Mask’s eyes widened underneath his mask when he finally understood what she was doing. While its horns were buried in the ground it was corporeal, and her energy could touch it – not directly, but through the earth her powers would travel.

 

She did just that, concentrated, focusing her energy into the ground, and before the Cardian could extract itself from the ground it howled, and with a shock that went through it glowed white, just like Usagi’s energy –

 

Usagi looked up at it, elated, proud, and for a moment her white warmth emanated from the being, just as it would do when it was purified and defeated –

 

Then it had managed to free itself and once again lost its solid form, and Usagi’s power didn’t affect it once more.

 

Both Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask cursed loudly.

 

But this time, while Usagi was hefting herself back up, the Cardian was faster. Mamoru screamed, and so did Rei in the distance, he realized, as Sailor Moon got tangled and lifted up by the massive tendons of the flying creature.

 

Usagi cried out in pain, her body started to glow as anybody’s did when energy was extracted by a Cardian, and the creature flapped its wings in order to fly off with her.

 

Mamoru howled and jumped at them – he couldn’t touch the creature but he could touch Usagi and he grabbed at her, holding on to her. He lifted himself upwards on her body, using her as a stepladder of sorts and drew his sword, trying to hack at the tendons. Some did come loose, others simply faded into fog for the millisecond it took for his blade to go through it, while Usagi herself tried, without success, to get a grip on the tendons that held her fast yet were still fog, to touch it and fight it – yet she couldn’t get a grip, her hands went through air.  

 

He cried out, scared, and kept hacking at it frantically.

 

He was able to do some harm, but not enough, he couldn’t get Sailor Moon free, and it started setting off blasts of energy to shake off Mamoru, but he dodged, hanging on to Usagi who looked at him with wild eyes.

 

A little gazebo, newly fixed up, a little ways behind them, caught fire among the already burning trees from the blast and Usagi shrieked again.

 

Mamoru was panicked, but kept hacking with one arm, the other around Usagi’s face, pressing it to his chest, his knee curled around her to keep balance and not fall off.

 

In the back of his consciousness, seemingly so very far away, he heard Rei shout frantically, as panicked as he felt himself.

 

 She came running, fire in her eyes and soul, angry, so angry… and she didn’t notice it herself at first but  with her the fire that had formerly blazed in the gazebo and trees has pooled in her hands, following her, listening to her, engulfing her arms in flames.

 

They froze, all of them, for just a moment, and Rei looked in terror at her hands, carrying, sprouting fire. Yet Mamoru could feel how familiar it felt to Rei, how the fire felt almost cold and soft and bendable in her hands.

 

She swallowed, her eyes hardened, and with a passionate cry Rei ran forward and at the Cardian, holding up her hands and pushing fire with her.

 

It flew at the Cardian as if carried by the wind and it let go of Usagi in reflex who toppled to the floor, Tuxedo Mask with her.

 

Mamoru jumped practically on top of Usagi, throwing his cape around her, wanting to protect her from the fire – yet she was protected from it as it was, the fire had curved around her, not a single hair had been singed.

 

Rei managed to ignite the Cardian completely – it caught fire, and slowly its wings burned up, slowly, loudly, with anguished shrieks that felt to them as if they were destroying something eerily sacred, and this time it didn’t evolve into fog but the fog of the wings dissolved to grey flakes of ash which fell around them like snow.

 

It howled, and then, crashing to the soft yellow grass, it flickered and was gone – severely injured, yet they were sure it had fled and not been destroyed.

 

Suddenly, everything around them was silent except for the sirens and lights in the distance, at the fringes of the park, the ashy rain creating an almost otherworldly scene as they stared at each other, all three of them.

 

The spell was broken by flashes of a camera, and Rei reacted fast in shielding her face with her hand and pulling her hood up over her head, while Usagi frantically pushed at Tuxedo Mask, yelling at him to get Rei out of here, to shield her from view, she couldn’t be seen like this, and he jumped at Rei and threw his cape over her slender form.

 

He looked back at Usagi who nodded at him, mouthing to him that she was okay and a corner where to meet up, and he hefted Rei over his shoulder, covered by his cape. And to his surprise, she let him, and then he jumped with her first into the trees and then onto the nearest building.

 

Rei, he felt, was shaken, yet determined.

 

And just when it had happened, just when Rei had run forward from her hiding place to attack a Cardian, without a clue that she really could, Mamoru had felt something else in Rei – something he himself was very used to feeling: Rei, just like him, and inconceivably, maybe – no, most probably – even more than him, had had in the minutes before she’d caught fire only one set of feelings in her – as if on auto-pilot, her most basic instinct had been to _protect Usagi_. Whatever the cost, whatever the consequences: _protect Usagi_.

 

It had consumed her, filled all of her, had overpowered her and driven her to literally play with fire.

 

He also felt how much it confused her, but how she somehow wholeheartedly embraced the feeling within her.

 

It was the moment that Mamoru started to trust Rei, completely, no questions asked.

 

They would have to deal with everything else later.

 

 

L

 

Ami’s lab was filled with buckets upon buckets of ash, and it felt a little bit like Christmas to her.

 

Because the Cardian ash still held larger chunks of unburned and only slightly singed parts of wing, as well as the metallic residue of the completely burned away ash particles, Ami now had the best samples she had ever had under her microscope.

 

She’d been quietly giggling to herself all day.

 

It had taken the police two whole days to recover all of the material from the site, and another for them to get it transferred to Infinity intact without breaking the fragile flakes of otherworldy Cardian wings, and yet another for her to analyze all of its basic structure and run the data – but so far it was a gold mine.

 

Cross-referencing her findings with all her previous data on the Cardians she had been able to deduct so far that every Cardian up until now stemmed from a single host: a biological one – A plant, in fact, as insane as it sounded, one that wasn’t of this world.

 

This information was a break-through. She could work with that. Find out where it came from, what it wants.

 

 What she didn’t get is why they would attack in the first place… The genetic makeup she found suggested that the plant could be fed through emotions – not energy. Energy would _work_ , yet not as well as emotion. It didn’t make sense!

 

Though there was another streak of energy in it she could identify. And because it felt strangely right for her to do so she named it Chaos.

 

It was in the Cardian samples, though only in a very slight concentration.  So slight a concentration in fact, she could only discern it because she had seen it somewhere else before, just a few weeks ago.

 

She sat back in her chair, sighing, and took a sip from her coffee cup and closed her eyes for a second, trying to work out in her mind how she would phrase her report about it, without mentioning facts of things that she wouldn’t actually be allowed to know but somehow did. It was the bane of her existence, really.

 

She put her coffee cup back and placed it on the newspaper that was lying on her desk. The photo on the cover of it was a version of the same it had been all week – the mysterious fire-wreaking girl that had been on the site of the last Cardian attack. The picture showed a woman in a hoodie, her face completely covered by her arm. No one knew who she was and she was keeping the media in a frenzy ever since it happened five days ago – speculation was getting very much over the top.

 

It made her look at her own hands and ponder if her own power might be of importance as well...  

 

Ami jerked up in her seat, shaken from her thoughts by a soft knock on the door. “Come in, I’m just about ready!” Ami said, smiled softly and got up, shrugging off her lab coat.

 

Hotaru peeked her head in. “Hello, Ami-san.” She smiled timidly.

 

She’d been picking her up for their cafeteria breaks all week now, it had become their small tradition, and Ami was so very thankful to have Hotaru.

 

Hotaru held open the door and Ami followed her out and locked the door to her lab behind her.

 

Then her face fell a little. Because there were two places she had found Chaos energy before, which was why she was able to recognize it in such small doses in the Cardian samples now. One place where she had seen it, just two days ago, and then named it so, was in the bio-genetic eggs Professor Tomoe tempered with in lab four.  And the other had been in Hotaru’s genetic makeup, which she hadn’t understood before that.

 

Hotaru’s genes consisted of two chunks: One was a strange mix that resembled Ami’s own DNA very closely, the other consisted solely of Chaos energy.

 

 

L

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I borrowed this Cardian from pop culture yet again ;) This time it was the Moonlight Butterfly from the Dark Souls game, if anyone noticed it, and no, it doesn’t belong to me either of course!
> 
>  
> 
> And as of always, you make me very happy to let me know what you thought of this Chapter!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this might have just been the hardest chapter I have written so far, cause I needed to connect two plotlines in it with each other and hint and back-refer to crazy amounts of stuff but not let to let you notice too much and comb in a few scenes that I ended up deleting but still needed to at least refer to partially, otherwise I’d have gotten myself lost in details again. Phew, ah well, I do hope you like it anyway, please let me know. 
> 
> And on another note: I have this whole giant folder of written out + partially written mostly Usa-Mamo-plus-sometimes-added-other-character-conversations Deleted Scenes, which I am thinking about posting after Ikigai is done as just that: Deleted Scenes Collection. Is that silly or would you be interested in something like that???

 

L

 

Usagi’s head was drooping a bit. She was just so damn _tired_.

 

She was dimly aware of her teacher talking about curve sketching and derivations, but she might as well have been talking in Chinese – Usagi eyes were struggling to stay open, and math was the last thing she could concentrate on.

 

The last couple days had been heavy with training, ever since they found out Rei could not only talk to fire but bend it as well, and especially because Usagi had been in too much danger in their opinion during the last attack. So she and Mamoru had trained their fighting technique - with and without Makoto, mostly right after school, and afterwards they’d trained with Rei. And even though one would think that the physical exertion sparring should be the one that was more tiring, the meditation and power-focusing they’d done at Rei’s temple felt so much more draining to her. And it didn’t help that Mamoru usually insisted she do her homework after dinner even though they’d been so diligent during the day.

 

Of course she knew it was important. Of course she knew that. And she wanted to get better, too… but… she still wanted to do normal things as well. Have time for dates with Mamo-chan, have time with her friends, time to have fun…

 

They’d come far, she had to admit. Rei was getting a crazy good grasp in her powers and both she and Mamoru were getting better as well, still, she could really use a break.

 

She sighed. Today would be no different. Although Usagi had insisted they do something nice with Mako-chan today (she needed a break from training, too – Usagi felt so guilty for hogging so much of Mako’s time regularly and not even telling her what they were doing it for), but afterwards they’d meet up at Rei’s again for meditation.

 

Usagi sighed again, more deeply this time. She felt so bad for being secretly thrilled for Rei to have powers, too, even though she knew how dangerous it would be for her…

 

She thought back to that evening last week, after Rei had saved her, when Usagi had caught up with them just a few blocks ahead and found them both sitting with their backs against that wall, huddled, talking quietly. Mamoru had been de-transformed and Rei’s hands had been shaking, though her face was set, stormy and determined, teeth clenched, as if she was fighting to stay in control of her emotions.

 

Usagi had come up to them, carefully, Mamoru’s eyes had flown to hers and he’d smiled softly. Rei had looked at her as well – her expression blank, her eyes so full of emotion. _So like Mamo-chan_ … She’d thought then.

 

“It’s okay to be scared, you know?” Usagi had told her quietly. “It doesn’t mean you aren’t brave. Quite the opposite. You can only be brave when you’re scared. We feel the same.”

 

Rei’s eyes had started to shine. “I want this.” She said, strongly, defensively, as if Mamoru and Usagi were trying to take it away from her.

 

“I know.” Usagi had said, smiling softly. “We’re not gonna kick you out just because you’re scared.  We’d have to kick ourselves out then…We’re in this together. “

 

Her teacher droned on. She hated math even more than English grammar.

 

Which was why she groaned in relief when the bell – the last one for today – finally rang.

 

She collected all her belongings in the time span it took other people to blink and had then hooked her arm through Makoto’s, nagged her a bit to hurry up already and then joined Naru, Umino and a few other girls from her class on their way out of the classroom.

 

 “So,” Naru began, in a way she usually only did when making grand announcements, with her chest puffed out and her chin high. “I’ve decided to celebrate my birthday this year with a party that’s gonna be big. Big as in huge. Huge as in party of the year.” She said and the girls all cheered a bit, and Usagi’s eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. _A party! Yes, a party would be something very fun and normal indeed..._  “Because, after having been in the hospital for so long I feel like celebrating the shit out of life, you know?” Naru finished with a big happy grin.

 

The girls, Aya and Megumi especially all started rattling off ideas and questions. Would her mom allow this (“It was her idea, can you believe it? We get the whole house to ourselves.”) how many people were invited (“Everyone! The more the merrier! Bring all your friends, _please_!”), are there gonna be cute boys? (Mako-chan was all for that and started gushing about her senpai from her old school, and maybe there were gonna be boys as cute as that?)

 

At this time the girls had all turned their head expectantly towards Usagi.

 

She blinked. “What, only because my boyfriend is in college I’m the cute-boys supplier now?” She asked incredulously.

 

Fuyumi, in her no-nonsense way, threw Usagi a look. “Well, can’t you bring your boyfriend?”

 

Usagi shrugged. “Of course. But he’s taken.”

 

Fuyumi rolled her eyes, and Naru giggled. “Yes, we _get_ that. I meant, can’t he bring friends?”

 

Eh…. Usagi blinked and Naru and Aya beamed.

 

“Okay, so Usagi-chan’s bringing cute college boys!” Aya announced loudly, Umino groaned and Makoto giggled at the face Usagi made, just as they made their way outside and Usagi already spotted Mamoru leaning against the school gate with his book. She smiled warmly and he looked up for a moment and winked at her with his cute and cheeky half-smile, then lowered his gaze back down to his book, waiting for them until they were done instead of venturing the dangerous walk onto the school ground towards them (there were people that could want to chat with him, he couldn’t risk that.)

 

They stood there for a little while longer, Naru asked them all if they could bring food and drinks to help out and assigned them all tasks, and Naru asked Usagi if it was ok for her if she invited Seijuro and Natsumi too – At which Usagi had been confused why Naru would be asking her permission for that. “Well, wouldn’t you be uncomfortable?” Naru asked, perplexed.

Usagi’s eyes had widened at that. “What? _No_!” She said, shaking her head wildly. “Oh god, _please_ don’t exclude them on _my_ account.” She said, and felt Makoto smile at her. “They are nice, it’s not _his_ fault he’s a bit thick about this…” She said, and as if in unison they looked over to where Seijuro and Natsumi were walking on their own down the street, already way away from the school grounds, nobody really taking notice of them, and Usagi’s face fell. “They look so lonely sometimes. I think a party would be nice for them too...” She trailed off.

 

L

 

They sat down in their usual stools, and Motoki placed of coffee wordlessly in front of Mamoru and went to work the mixer for the milkshakes.

 

“So, Usagi-chan has been entrusted to bring cute college boys to the mix.” Makoto announced and Mamoru shook his head. Makoto had been getting really bold and cheeky the last few weeks, and he rather liked to see her so open and uninhibited. “I’m expecting you both to come, of course.” She said.

 

Mamoru shrugged. “I’m taken though.” And Usagi beamed up at him while Makoto rolled her eyes and snickered about the fact they he’d just pretty much said the same thing Usagi had said before.

 

Makoto turned her gaze back to Motoki, expectantly. “Wait, what’s happening? We’re going where?” He asked bewildered.

 

Mamoru sighed. “Naru’s throwing a party apparently.”

 

Usagi leaned her head into her hand, her elbow propped onto the counter and she nudged Mamoru’s side. “Also, I was asked if you could bring any other cute friends.”

 

He threw her a look. “Don’t look at me, all the social interaction I have is currently in this room.”

 

Usagi rolled her eyes. “What about your study group. You were looking for a reason to hang out with them anyway.” She said and he rolled his eyes in answer. “There’s your reason right here.”

 

“And you could always bring Asanuma-kun.” Motoki supplied and Mamoru blinked. “He’s not in College, alright, but I’m sure he’d come.”

 

Motoki ignored Mamoru’s surprised look completely, instead he turned his body to look around the corner of the kitchen, through which he had a view into the adjoined Fruits Parlor and hollered across it once he spotted someone. “ _Oi, Asanuma-kun!_ Wanna come to a party on…” He turned back to Makoto, “When is this?”

 

“Friday” She supplied, grinning.

 

“FRIDAY?” He hollered back and they could hear a muffled but excited _‘Sure!_ ’ from the other room and Motoki turned back towards them with a smug look on his face that conveyed something on the lines of, _‘See, I solve your problems, who’s your man?_ ’ and Makoto had to giggle.

 

Mamoru snuck an arm around his girlfriend, drew her close and sighed deeply, letting his head droop onto her a little. “I’ve never actually been to a party like that…”

 

Whaaaat. Her eyes widened and she jerked up a bit, looking at him incredulously.

 

He cringed, shutting one eye. “To izakayas with study groups to celebrate passed exams yes, and that one time last year when Motoki celebrated his birthday at a karaoke bar, but never like, a party…”

 

“Well, _about time_ , then.” Usagi grinned and poked him in the chest.

 

“Right.” Motoki laughed. “The karaoke. We went to a place that doesn’t ID, and Mamoru drank so much because we made him sing and I swear he got so drunk I literally couldn’t _stop_ him talking about your—“ Mamoru stopped him with a fierce glare and Motoki chuckled. “Nevermind.”

 

Usagi groaned, protesting, demanding to know what it was he had said back then, and he flushed bright red and Makoto had to giggle so hard about the whole situation while a flushed and flustered Mamoru being attacked by his girlfriend to spill already threw up his hands in defeat and with a crimson head and exclaimed “It was your _legs_ , alright? You’d worn that tiny _excuse_ of a dress that day and pressed them up against me on accident and then I got drunk and I…I…” and Usagi had snickered at him, commenting something along the lines of _‘Oh, and I thought you didn’t care about my’l_ ooks _’?’_ and Mamoru had been even more flustered and exasperated , yet they ended up looking at Makoto bewildered who was leaning over the counter laughing with tears in her eyes and they slowly joined in on her laughter that just didn’t seem to stop.

 

Makoto had never been to a party like that either. And she’d never wanted to. But now she had such dear friends, and she couldn’t remember ever having looked forward to a social event so much as she did now.

 

 

L

 

 

He was pretty sure there was no one in Tokyo at the moment who felt as smug as Rei.

 

They were currently at the Hikawa shrine, had been there for an hour, and Rei, with joy in her eyes, was blazing flames from the sacred fire she was sitting in front of between her hands;  back and forth and back and forth, making the flames lick at her arms and face and dance in front of her at her will.

 

The grasp she had at her powers was amazing. Considering she’d only ever discovered this side of her powers a week ago, it was downright outstanding. Where he had taken years as a child to grow into his powers so that his radar and his healing powers were so controllable and second-nature to him as they now were, and he and Usagi were still struggled to get her to grasp and control her vast and immeasurable power, Rei’s grasp was mind-boggling.

 

Any source of fire she could manipulate. Even the smallest source – she could pull fire from it, be it only a match or a lit cigarette. She couldn’t create it – but she could bend it when it was there, anywhere. And she could nourish it, let it grow, though that was still a bit harder for her.

 

They’d ended up buying her a stack of zippo lighters last Wednesday.

 

And her power was so different from theirs, too. His and Usagi’s, he felt, were somehow, deep down, a little similar. Pools of energy that lay within their cores, which had to be dug out and accessed. Usagi’s especially was this pool of seemingly eternal power – so warm, so endless. Rei’s was more tangible, if more finite. She’d not yet accessed all of it – neither did Mamoru and Usagi of course, especially not Usagi, whom Mamoru felt held in herself the greatest power of them all, yet what Rei did access she had mastered in only these few days. It had a start and an end but it was right on the forefront of her, accessible, bendable, useable.

 

And boy did Rei use her power. 

 

Usagi sat grumbling next to him. “Why can’t I use my powers so easily. I’m doing this way longer than Rei-chan.” She huffed.

 

Rei smirked, yet continued to rouse the fire in her palms, her whole demeanor out to brag. “Well, we can’t _all_ be as good as me.”

 

Mamoru and Usagi both rolled their eyes in unison.

 

“You’re still stronger.” He mumbled to Usagi, as if he had to defend her, and Usagi rolled her eyes again.

 

“And _you_ still need a transformation.” He said, louder this time, towards Rei.

 

She let the flames extinguish in her hands and frowned.

 

Right. That.

 

Hoodies didn’t do well to hide her when she was a fire beacon. They were also quite flammable, even when her skin was not. They’d tried that earlier this week, and it had been a very embarrassing experience for everyone –Which was also the reason why she was currently in jeans shorts and a tank top instead of her usual Miko garb.

 

The transformation part had been a dead end for them yet. No brooches for Rei that magically appeared.

 

Where they’d been a bit farer though was another problem at hand: Usagi’s dependency on touch.

 

Rei swore she’d seen a weapon in the fire for Usagi, and that was another thing they tried to work at. Usagi was sure they’d be able to conjure it exactly like they’d made her own brooch – combine her and Mamoru’s powers, and Rei was pretty adamant she was right about that, or at least the fire said so.

 

He wasn’t as sure as they were, though. He couldn’t fathom how a power as great as Usagi’s could depend on his feeble one.

 

The first time he’d said that Usagi had started glaring, frowning, shaking her head, asking him if he was serious and if he couldn’t _feel_ how infinite his power was? He’d raised an eyebrow, thinking she was delusional.

 

So of course they’d sat and tried and tried again.

 

As if reading his mind Rei nodded and fidgeted on the tatami mats to move into a cross-legged position, closing her eyes.

 

Their signal to meditate on it.

 

Mamoru rolled his eyes. How he wished sometimes she weren’t so bossy to assume they’d always do as she instructed. Still though, he had to admit, the girl knew what she was doing, so he grumbingly moved to mimick Rei’s position.

 

And it wasn’t like he’d never behave that way either, so really, he wasn’t one to talk. They were eerily alike like that, Rei and him.

 

“Eh?” Usagi frowned. “What are we doing?”

 

“Your _weapon_.” Rei said with a huff in her voice, as if it was obvious and Mamoru sighed.

 

“Oh.” Usagi shrugged, and sat directly across from Mamoru, mimicking his pose, their knees touching. She extended her hands towards him, palms up, and he took them with a half smile and a wink, running his thumbs gently across the lines of her hand.

 

She blushed a bit and his half smile turned into a full grin. Her palms were very touch-sensitive, especially when his touch was so feather-light.

 

Rei cleared her throat loudly.

 

Usagi blushed a bit harder and Mamoru smirked before closing his eyes and letting his consciousness wash over her. Her heartbeat was a bit accelerated, the result of her flush and she was just a little bit aroused by his touch, her breathing a bit shallow.

 

And beneath that, the rush of her blood to her heart, the reserves of oxygen in her body bubbling, supplying her…

 

He sank deeper into her, and looped the sensations back to her so she could experience the same, while she herself latched onto his feelings.

 

It was routine by now, her sensations were as familiar to him as his own.

 

He let his power flow into his hands, just as he would do when healing, and she let hers flow in the same direction, just as she would do when she would use her purifying powers. Exactly as they had done, or rather she had done with their combined power, back then to create her brooch.

 

It was a peculiar feeling, really, mixing their powers. He imagined this could be what it might feel like to make a child; have something grow between you that came from you but created something new. It was warm, intense, tugged at his heart, made his breath come in short puffs from the pressure on his chest that suddenly felt too tight, too constricted – an exact mirror of what she felt, he knew.

 

It was an intensely pleasurable feeling, actually, one that felt to him way too intimate to share in the presence of Rei, in fact, but her foresight did help them grasp at strands they weren’t aware of, so he just had to deal with her being there.

 

They sat like that for long minutes, connected, searching, their hands glowing.

 

He frowned after a while. “So a weapon, yes? Could you specify that somewhat? We’re feeling nothing weapon-y here. Quite the opposite in fact.” He said, eyes closed, to Rei. It felt strange, talking to someone else but Usagi right now when he and Usagi were combined mentally so fully right now.

 

Rei answered – from somewhere, and he couldn’t seem to pinpoint her emotions like this, as immersed as he was in Usagi at the moment. But he knew she would still be sitting in front of the fire, mimicking their pose, trying to interpret the impression thrown at her from their act for them. “I see… something like a wand?” Her voice was halting and he imagined her frowning deep in concentration, though he really couldn’t tell right now. “Eh… it sounds silly, but all I get is… _’rod of love’_?”

 

Mamoru laughed. He started laughing so hard that it broke his concentration and he snapped out of Usagi’s sensations which made her do the same, breaking the spell quite abruptly – and the glow of their hands with it – and she blinked, startled, laughter bubbling from her simply as a residue of having shared his mirth for just a moment.

 

It had started out as a mere chuckle and turned into a full-bodied guffaw until he was laughing so hard he was almost toppling over backwards, complete with little snorts at all.

 

Usagi giggled along with him, affected by him through their bond and amused herself. She'd never heard him laugh this carefree before.

 

Then his face turned sober all of a sudden and he looked at them appalled. “We're not _really_ calling it that, right?”

 

It was Usagi’s turn to snort with giggles then, which threw him right back into his laughing fit and Rei raised her eyebrows at them, yet with an amused smile of her own.

 

Rei had scolded them for being childish then, even when she giggled herself a bit, and that this was serious and they needed to concentrate and they went back to meditating for a while, but even though they both felt there really _was_ something there they still didn’t manage to grasp at it, and, both being exhausted from it quite soon, Rei decided to call it a day and carried in a tray of tea and biscuits for them instead, before they had to leave, and they chatted for a bit – Usagi had invited Rei to Naru’s party and was excited for her to meet Mako-chan finally – until Rei switched topics again.

 

“So I have a theory.” Rei said, while Usagi went on inhalting the fruity treats. “The pattern you were talking about?” She looked at Usagi who nodded, slowing down in her chewing. “I think they’re picking their victims based on love.”

 

Usagi furrowed her brow and Mamoru’s eyes widened. This made so much sense he felt the urge to smack his palm to his face.  The first time that they had started to pick people out of the crowds had been that couple that died on him… And like the mother and her child in Shibuya; it were always people of all ages, of all builds and appearances, seemingly at random, though mostly in groups and pairs…

 

“That’s why they tend to hone in on Usagi as much, too, once they spot her, I think.” Rei said and Mamoru nodded, it made so much sense.

 

Usagi’s frown deepened. “What? Why would they prefer my energy over any other person who loves someone?”

 

Both Rei and Mamoru shot her looks of confusion. “Usako…” He started, shaking his head. She was love and goodness personified, she radiated acceptance and affection for everyone and everything, not just for him, surely she _must_ know that.

 

That was what he was still thinking about, an hour later, when they were walking home – her home, of course, but it felt a bit like that to him as well, now.

 

They’d almost arrived at her house when he heard her sigh, and he felt that mix of frustration, fatigue and duty in her that made him feel guilty. They were training a lot these days, mostly because he insisted on it, and he was beginning to feel he was too hard on her.

 

She sighed. “I’m really looking forward to this party.” She said quietly, and he stopped, turning towards her.

 

She looked up at him curiously and he looked her in the eyes with quite an intense and searching look.

 

“Am I too hard on you? Are we training too much?”

 

She bit her lip and looked down at their clasped hands – his right one, her left one. “I get it. I know it’s important. For Rei, and for us, too.”

 

He brought his other hand towards their clasped hand and cradled hers in both of his, then lifted her hand towards his mouth – and held it to his lips, not kissing it, just holding it there, and she felt the movement of his lips against her skin when he talked. “We have a life outside of this. I won’t forget it, I promise.”

 

“Well.. today was nice. We got to hang out with Mako-chan and Toki-onii-san and even hung out with Rei-chan a bit after meditation?” She lifted her head and cocked her head a bit, giving him a slow smile that tugged at his heart. “I like that… when we still do normal things in between. I would like it if we did that more often.” She said, nodding, more to herself than to him.

 

His heart fell a little… he didn’t like this, either. Yes, they had this crazy life, but that was all the more reason they needed to make an effort to get their head off of things as well from time to time, to be able to get through it and not be dragged down. Especially his Usako… He knew she needed to be surrounded by friends and laughter, she drew her strength from it. He swallowed. “How about…I mean, even I see we’ve been overdoing it this week… we try to consciously sneak in days that are completely training-free? Just dates and seeing friends?”

 

Her entire being lit up as if he’d just told her she’d be getting free milkshakes for the rest of her life. “So, more normal things?”  Then she frowned. “Who are you and what have you done to my Mamo-chan?”

 

He chuckled with a cringe to it. If she was this happy about it, it meant he’d _really_ been overdoing it… she usually tended to be mostly eager to train. Just not this much, apparently.

 

They continued walking and she now had a spring in her step, all the happiness from the arcade back in her face.

 

“Well, what normal things would you like to do?” He asked her sideways.

 

“Hang out with Mako-chan more, and with Naru-chan and Umino,” She beamed and swung their hands between them.  “And fruit parfaits, and crepes in Harajuku, and Tokudai Soft Ice cream in Nakano,” She trailed on and he rolled his eyes playfully, remarking how _of course_ they’d all be food dates and she rolled her eyes right back and continued on. “And I’ve never been to the Ghibli Museum, and I _really_ would love to learn how to ballroom dance. Like in that movie.” She stopped to swing her hips a bit so that her school skirt swayed a bit around her as to imitate its movement during dance, while looking down at it and giggling to herself a little and he thought it just might be the most adorable things he’d ever seen her do.

 

“I thought you did learn to waltz in P.E. last year.”

 

“Yes, waltz steps, but I can’t like, really dance. With all the dips and swirls and stuff.” She shrugged.

 

“Well, _you’re_ not supposed to do the dips and swirls. You’re supposed to be lead, and nudged in the right directions, like butter. Here—let’s see.” He stopped suddenly and fiddled with his phone for a little while.

 

She stopped too, confused. “Mamo-chan, what are you—“  And then she’d beamed at him, because he’d put his phone on speakers – He had downloaded the instrumental score music of her current favorite movie,  and put it on its loudest setting, then placed it on top of one of the low walls surrounding the family houses around them, while settling both their briefcases against it on the ground.

 

He bowed theatrically, then stood tall and held one hand on his back, the other stretched out to her. “May I have this dance?”

 

She blushed _– he looks just like a prince_ – and took his hand.

 

“Just look me in the eyes and follow my lead. Don’t look at our feet. Butter, remember?” He whispered to her warmly when he put her hand on his shoulder, cradled her other hand in his and then pulled her to him by the waist.

 

And then they danced – to what was at the moment her favorite tune. And she looked only into his eyes, and true to his words, as she allowed herself to fall completely into his movements, they flowed, waltzing around the street just barely a few meters away from her house – and he was twirling her, dipping her, lifting her –her school skirt billowing around her – covering huge amounts of ground in long graceful waltzing steps. As if they had always done this. And it felt a bit like Déjà vu, she thought, as if they’d truly done this before, and she guessed probably they had.

 

Her smile was radiant the whole time, giggling gleefully, her eyes never wavering from his, and he grinned back at her with shining, twinkling eyes, directing her this way and that.

 

The music stopped as he swirled her out and away from him, only connected by the hand. Her flowing skirt fell back around her knees with the stopped movement, and they stood like that, for a second, unmoving, beaming at each other, and then she fell into his arms with a happy squeal. 

 

He hugged her back, chuckling. “I didn’t know I could dance like that.” She squealed and he laughed at her.

 

“Well, you _can’t,_ Usako, I can.” His eyes danced, playful. “That’s the whole point. You just need to know the steps, I do the rest.” He winked down at her and she smiled at him with such warm, gentle love.

 

His grin loosened a bit, falling into a happy smile, and he cradled her face in his palms and gave her the softest, gentlest kiss he could muster, wanting for all he was worth to mimic the feeling her gentle smile gave him with this kiss.

 

Someone cleared their throat and they broke apart reluctantly if quickly, and looked up into Kenji Tsukino’s eyes. Ikuko was standing behind him. They looked a bit shocked, the two of them. And moved – if he interpreted it right.

 

Ikuko blinked, a bit thrown by what she just saw, and how terribly sweet it was, and watched her daughter skip up towards them, Mamoru – a bit red-faced about being caught in this obviously intimate moment –trailing after her and into the house with them.

 

Her daughter beamed from ear to ear, and Ikuko couldn’t keep a smile off her face as well. “I’ve never seen you be so… graceful.” Ikuko said and Usagi giggled.

 

It made Ikuko think, about the gentle way she saw this sweet young man treat her daughter every day. How they behaved around each other. Be it when they sat on the carpet in front of the TV watching Shingo play on his Xbox before dinner or watching the news with Kenji and how Usagi would be sitting between Mamoru’s parted legs, snuggled back against him, and how he would completely enfold her in his arms and put his chin on the top of her head and smile like she’d never seen anyone his age smile at another person.

 

Or when they’d sit together and play that home console version of this god-awful loud taiko drum game that Mamoru had bought Usagi a few weeks ago just because she liked to play it at the arcade so much with him and so she wouldn’t waste all her money on the big machine there – even though he hated it himself and buying it for her had meant he’d need to play it with her even more often than before.

 

Or the familiar way, just like now, that they would touch, or the deep looks they would give each other.

 

Ikuko knew, deep down in her heart and without a doubt, that this young man would be her son-in-law. And she couldn’t be happier about it.

 

The very young man who seemed so lonely sometimes, and who didn’t have a family of his own, no place where someone would tell him ‘Okaeri’ when he got home, and Ikuko was adamant to provide him with that, at least as much as she could.

 

It was later, after dinner, when Usagi was helping her with the dishes and Mamoru did his daily spiel of being seen out by Kenji –yet Ikuko could hear the ruffling leaves of the tree next to the open kitchen window, and then a thud on Usagi’s small balcony that was just above the kitchen window as well – that Ikuko was lost in thought.

It had been a very pleasant dinner – it mostly was these days. They’d eaten out of the fancy set of Japanese ceramic bowls that she had oogled forever and that Usagi and Mamoru had gotten her for her birthday earlier that week – she’d been so moved – And Usagi was always in the best mood at having Mamoru there, these days, anyway. Even Shingo, who – Ikuko was sure of that, she could see these things – secretly admired Mamoru at least a little bit, was eager to ask questions sometimes, and left the dinner table later than he did before Mamoru came along.

She had to chuckle a bit, about the evening’s conversation;

“I was asked to bring the punch.” Usagi had told her, and Ikuko had frowned.

“A punched punch or a punch” She’d said, looking stern.

“A punch. It wasn’t specified. But we both know someone will punch it if I don’t.” Usagi had said.

Ikuko had pursed her lips and looked at Kenji, who looked back at her, with a very endearing and helpless expression, something along the lines of _‘Don’t look at me. She knows how we met. I can’t say anything._ ’And Usagi had leaned over to Mamoru, giggling. “They met at a college party that neither of them were invited to. He was so drunk he threw up all over her dress. She was 16, he 17.”

Mamoru had had this disbelieving look in his eyes, the one that children sometimes have when they hear that adults had had a life before aprons and car insurances, and she had to chuckle. And she’d grudgingly agreed, but laid down the ground rules. That they’d be having dinner early that day so they’d have a foundation to build on, and that her punch would be pure, and classy, so no one would attempt to punch it further, a masterpiece of her own making; and that it would be delicious and all her daughter would drink. “No mixing, you hear me? You do realize you may very well have your father’s non-existent drinking, stamina, yes?”

And her daughter had giggled and replied with a mock-salute saying “Yes, Ma’am” at the same time that Kenji protested with a loud but amused _‘Hey!’_

She’d gone on a bit about the risk of alcohol, knowing it was for mostly for show, and well, she did trust her daughter about these things anyway,but she said it anyway, that she didn’t want to see her overdo it, and that she should stop immediately once she notices any changes like slurred words or broader gestures.  “No sip after that. Mamoru-dear, I trust you to make sure of that and to do the same, yes? “

 

And how he’d dutifully nodded his head with a slight flush to his cheeks and it reminded her again that there probably wasn’t anybody in his life who called him ‘dear’.

 

It brought her back to the present, to her soapy hands and her daughter with the dishtowel next to her, who was humming to herself, lost in thought as well.

 

“Usagi-chan”, Ikuko began and Usagi looked up from the ceramic, startled out of her own thoughts. “How about I try to work on Papa, so that he’ll let Mamoru stay here overnight officially from now on? At least sometimes? So that you two don’t have to sneak around so much anymore?”

 

Usagi turned into a peculiar mix of giddy smiles and blanched horror in front of her eyes. “Are you gonna tell Papa he’s been staying here?”

 

Ikuko clicked her tongue and then went silent for a little bit, which, she saw, made her daughter entirely too nervous. “There are things your Papa is better left not knowing.” She said, slowly, after a while and Usagi exhaled loudly. “And he likes Mamoru so much.” She added, cocking her head.

 

Usagi nodded, relieved and Ikuko looked at her warmly, then cocked her head. “Also, it would be very hypocritical if he judged you if he _did_ find out… not that I’ll tell him of course –“ Usagi’s head had snapped up again in a jerky move of nervous fidgeting and Ikuko giggled a bit about it. “ – but  I _was_ 16 as well when _we_ met…”

 

 

L

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, imagine what you will of course, but the song they’re dancing to in my head is ‘Planetarium – by Justin Hurwitz’, particularly Min 2:25- 3:49, although ‘Merry Go Round of Life (人生のメリーゴーランド - Jinsei no Meriigoorando) – by Joe Hisaishi’ works just exactly as fine for me.^^ [The last of which was also played at my wedding ; ) ]
> 
> Also, please let me know what you think!!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all your encouragement. You have NO IDEA how happy your reviews make me, NO IDEA!!
> 
> It’s amazing to read what scenes you liked, and how some of you all liked different scenes and aspects even, or that some of you have been binging through this in one go and what made you do that… happy happy happy feels <3
> 
> I’m so very very grateful for each one of you that takes the time to write a review to let me know! Rest assured that you make this story rush out of me way faster than it normally would be able to xD.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> So, remember when I mentioned that Antigone2’s story Wish You Would was one of the two influences on this story? This being the party chapter you can obviously see its influence here the most I think, and I’m openly trying to pay it tribute and play with that a bit here xD.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, on a side note: This is of course flecked in a way that this is written from the perspective of a European and how we partied when I was a teenager. This reflects the drinking of course, as well, as I come from a country where the legal drinking age is 16 – which is the girl’s age in my story. So at least in my head no one’s breaking the law here xD – and even though I know in Japan the legal drinking age is 20, from what I experienced there it is not at all enforced and very normal for teenagers to drink at parties.
> 
> Also, we all remember Setsuna bringing alcohol to a 15 year old’s birthday party in cannon, yes? So they do that xD.

L

 

 

So his girlfriend had this ridiculous crush on supermarkets, and well… what could he say, he liked them, too.

 

 The big ones, though. Those that just had everything, not the small conbinis. Those were nice at times, yes, but they just didn’t compare.

 

Thus it should have been a match made in heaven, Usagi and him and the supermarket, except for the fact that it had been over an hour now – and it had been fun for the first 45 minutes, he’d been pretty much thinking it had been their best date yet (and yes, he knew that was ridiculous, but eh), cause really, they were both entirely too obsessed with supermarkets, yet now it had slowly begun to become torture.

 

Cause they were late, and Mamoru hated to be late. Especially if it were her parents they were standing up; _Ikuko_ , who they were standing up, who was cooking dinner early _only for them_ and who needed some of this stuff they were supposed to buy.

 

And Usagi was seemingly the most indecisive person in the world. They were now standing in front of the freezers, and she was slowly driving him insane.

 

Mamoru slumped groaning over their overflowing shopping cart. “Your mother told me to keep you from buying ice cream.”

 

“Mama said to keep me from buying _all_ the ice cream. There’s a difference.” She said, and stuck her head into the first available freezer, the cold air billowing out of it in milky fog.

 

He raised an eyebrow, but really he had no chance, so after a long debate over the assets of each and every flavor, four pints of ice cream wandered into their shopping cart. (He’d given up talking her out of anything about twenty-five minutes ago and instead just hm’ed and yes’ed his way through the store in hopes to get her to hurry up. It wasn’t helping.)

 

He groaned loudly, rubbing his hands across his face in exasperation. “Usako, I swear, If we’d met in a supermarket we’d never have gotten together.” But she just rolled her eyes at him and worldlessly held up two different cans of demi-glace sauce for him to help her decide – at least it was something that _actually_ was on Ikuko’s list this time which she couldn’t decide over.

 

And just when he thought they’d made the finish line the finish line itself tripped him up.

 

The last isle that led to the check out desks was the snack isle and Mamoru was beginning to think he might cry.

 

He tapped his foot impatiently, trying desperately to keep his face blank and not let his annoyance show too much. He was so frustrated over her inability to decide between salted or extra salted chips (“You’re not gonna eat them today _, anyway_ , Usa. We’re going to a _party_. They have chips _there_.”), that he secretly decided to only ever go to conbinis with her anymore when they were in a hurry.  

 

And then, when they finally stood in line at the checkout, and she’d realized they’d forgotten the onions, he’d dashed away to get them like a mad man, lest she go herself and get lost in the snack isle again, yet when he came back, there was this Seijuro boy standing behind her, chatting her up.

 

He stilled for a bit when he spotted him, all his previous annoyance forgotten and replaced with an entirely new set, but then he realized something: This time, when he would slip in and draw her to his side, it wouldn’t be an act. She _was_ his girlfriend now, he _was_ allowed to do this now. He reveled a bit in that thought, and much too deeply perhaps, but he couldn’t seem to care right now.

 

“ – could go together, if you wanted? I could pick you up later, since we’re both going to the same party?”

 

“That’s very nice of you Seijuro, but I’m—“

 

So, when he went up to them, he extended his arm right between the two of them – a bit boldly perhaps – _only_ to put the onions on the conveyor belt behind them, _of course_ , and Seijuro jumped a bit away from her, startled.

 

“ –fine.” She finished, as Mamoru positioned himself smack right up beside her, his entire side touching hers, smiling entirely too sweetly and friendly when he greeted Seijuro cheerfully.

 

He rolled a bit with it, unashamedly, smirking, and she rolled her eyes at him for it when he started twirling the small little lock of hair on the back of her neck that always came loose from her buns.

 

They paid, and packed, and said their see you laters and Mamoru grinned like a Cheshire cat the entire time while Seijuro’s look had darkened – which fired Mamoru’s grin on even more and Usagi sighed when they were out of sight and on their way to her house. “Uh-huh. Marking your territory or what?”

 

He had the decency to at least blush at that. “Sorry.” He mumbled, looking at her sideways, sheepishly.  “But –“ He started, then his grin returned. “No, not sorry. I loved that. I’m sorry.”

 

She rolled her eyes and huffed. “Well at least you weren’t mean to him, I guess.”

 

He raised an eyebrow at her, shifting the big and bulky bag on his shoulder a bit “I _wasn’t_? Usako, if I’d been him, I’d be pissed.”

 

She frowned. “But you were so friendly.”

 

“Yeah. Exactly.”

 

She wrinkled her nose and clutched the big plastic bag of toilet paper a bit closer to her chest in thought and he chuckled at her and leaned over awkwardly around their bags of groceries to press a quick kiss to her temple.

 

They arrived home almost an hour later than they had said they would and Mamoru apologized red-faced and profusely, but Ikuko only smiled at him, said she was well aware of her daughter’s shopping habits and truthfully hadn’t expected them any sooner than this, then grabbed some ingredients off them while he packed everything away around Ikuko and Usagi went to put the large bowls of punch Ikuko had prepared for them into two cooler boxes in the hallway.

 

“Still. I’m so sorry. It just took so much longer than I thought…” Mamoru mumbled and Ikuko nodded knowingly.

 

“Did you let her go through the snack isle?” Shingo asked, stealing a biscuit out of one of the packages.

 

Mamoru looked at him with a wild expression, akin to something like ‘ _You have no idea what I just went through.’_

 

Shingo laughed and patted his shoulder in understanding. “Take the cleaning products isle next time, she’s faster that way.”

 

 

L

 

 

Because they hadn’t rushed dinner after that and because Usagi still needed to change out of her school uniform and into her party outfit (one that made his body react in ways he didn’t exactly want it to in a crowded place), the party was already almost in full swing by the time they arrived.

 

To her defense, her outfit wasn’t racy at all actually – pretty damn casual for a party in fact, at least compared to the clothes she usually wore anyway. She wore a black mini _mini_ skirt with an oversized black shirt that sported a gleaming sequined Batman-logo that sparkled in all the colors of the rainbow on the front of her chest, and the shirt was so big on her that it slipped off one shoulder, yet the material was so soft and thin that it accentuated every curve. That, this small show of skin of her shoulder, combined with those deeply dark grey colored over-thigh socks she wore which obviously also showed a sliver of skin of her thighs between them and her tiny skirt, pretty much did him in, and he hadn’t even seen her dance in it, yet.

 

So much so, in fact, that when she bent over to take off her shoes he had to look away on purpose.

 

Music was blaring from speakers that were placed all around the house it seemed, people were laughing, some were dancing already, and they were greeted with loud shouts of “USAGI-CHAN!!!” from all sides when they entered the first room.

 

Mamoru carried both cooler boxes in and they both went straight for the makeshift buffet table that had been put up on the window-front of the open kitchen. It was already packed, and from the look of that lavish cake he guessed Makoto was already here. Usagi made a bit of room on one side, re-arranging some of the things other guests had brought, and Mamoru opened the boxes and held them up for her one after the other so she could lift the two big glass punch bowls out of them and arrange them how she wanted them, then attached a note that she’d prepared beforehand.

 

‘Super Amazing Cherry Lemonade-Sake-Vanilla-Strawberry-Pulp Amazingness a’la Tsukino. It is art, do not mess with it  – FACE USAGI’S WRATH IF YOU DO! (Plus it already contains a bottle of Sake, each, what more do you want?)’

 

“So, besides the people we invited ourselves, who’s gonna be here that I know today?” He said, watching her finish taping her sign to the glass bowls with colorful washi tape that had bunnies on it which she brought with her extra for the occasion.

 

“Oh lots of people. There’s Natsumi over there.”  She glanced up for a second and nodded her head into the distance. He didn’t follow her gaze and instead furrowed his brow.

 

“Who’s Natsumi?”

 

“Seriously?” She rolled her eyes, turned him by the arm and pointed.

 

Oh! Her.

 

Usagi shook her head in exasperation. “Why is it that you keep forgetting her?”

 

He threw her a look and huffed. “I don’t forget _her_ , I just forget her name. I don’t just _forget_ people.”

 

“Really.” She cocked her eyebrow and turned him in a different direction.  “Who are those two.”

 

He furrowed his brows. He’d never seen these two girls in his life.

 

“Fuyumi and Megumi. They interviewed you with me. For that school assignment?” She waved at them, as they’d seen her.

 

Oh! Right.

 

She shook her head in amusement, snorting. It _was_ kind of endearing how he only had eyes for her. Then she spied someone else coming into the room.

 

“MAKO-CHAN!!!”

 

She came towards them, Motoki with his sister Unazuki and Asanuma in her tow. “There you two are!” Motoki said while Makoto snorted, looking Mamoru and Usagi up and down.

 

“Matching clothes, _really_?” She said, smirking, and Mamoru frowned again, looking down at himself and then at Usagi. She in her black Batman shirt and skirt and grey over-knees, and him, true enough, in a black button down and grey jeans. Huh. He hadn’t noticed that.

 

Judging by Usagi’s blush, she had, though, and he suddenly understood why it had been so important to her to find exactly _these_ socks today, rummaging all over her closet, and couldn’t just wear any others. He chuckled.

 

They talked for a bit, Makoto had obviously been here a while already and she and Asanuma seemingly had made fast friends (And obviously Asanuma was insanely impressed to hear that _she_ trains _Mamoru_? To which Makoto had been beaming for a while), while Unazuki kept talking about a cute boy who was dancing a little ways away from them on a weird makeshift bouncy platform created by mattresses that were stacked on top of one another (The boy turned out to be Yukihiro, one of the guys from Mamoru’s study group whom he did end up asking after all) and Makoto and Usagi got excited over way-too-embarrassing ideas how Unazuki could go to approach him and flirt, ignoring Mamoru completely who suggested he could just introduce them.

 

Usagi, Makoto and Unazuki were talking in not too hushed tones, and kept glancing over to a bouncing Yukihiro (What _was_ that, a kind of game?), who’d long noticed and kept sending Mamoru confused and questioning glances, and Mamoru could only shrug back at him helplessly.

 

There was a peculiar moment, when Rei arrived under cheers and hugs from Usagi which Rei awkwardly returned, when Rei and Makoto locked eyes. Mamoru had felt something between them that even he couldn’t quite describe. It was different from what they felt when looking at Usagi, and well, he wasn’t surprised about Rei’s intense feelings – they were a bit heightened after all, which he mostly attributed to her psychic abilities – but he’d never felt Makoto feel anything in a way like that besides Usagi. It felt like belonging and it made them both feel agitated, irritated at first, and then very warm.

 

Usagi acquainted the two of them, excited to have them meet, those two that they spent most of their time with these days, and Rei asked her genuinely interested questions about Mako’s training sessions with them, asking if she could come and watch some time, maybe even join? And Makoto beamed and agreed.

 

Usagi made sure to put Rei and Makoto together from then on, as Rei seemed kind of uncharacteristically shy and timid at this party, and Makoto was very willing to help out the one girl that looked as if she felt like Makoto herself would have felt only weeks ago. And it turned out not to be a hard task at all for Usagi to make Rei feel at ease in the midst of her friends, because it had taken Usagi half a sentence to figure out that Unazuki actually went to Rei’s school, and only one sentence more to have them in mutual groaning sessions about their worst teacher there, before she latched them back into what Usagi deemed the most pressing matter at hand – how Unazuki would be able to chat up this boy over there (“ _Yukihiro_. His name is Hase Yukihiro and I could introduce them right now.” Mamoru tried to butt in again, but Usagi waved his comment away. Apparently it was more ‘fun’ when one did it ‘creatively’…).

 

It was amazing to him to see Usagi work her magic, putting everyone around her at their ease in this group of their peers that usually made at least most of them feel cautious and rattled  – he could relate so very well – and instead made them feel comfortable.

 

Also Usagi seemed to be the one person who knew everyone at this party – friends of friends of friends included. They all greeted her by name upon arrival, she remarked on personal things about their lives, things like that. It was absolutely baffling to him, watching her in her element; connecting, soothing, making friends. She continuously kept picking people out of the crowd, pulling them with her by the sleeves, introducing them to Rei and Makoto mostly, worked out things they had in common with two sentences maximum and had them talking. And she did it so effortlessly, as if it were the most natural thing to do, while giving everyone the feeling to be absolutely included.

 

He felt insanely proud of her.

 

Some kids, back on that weird mattress stack, howled in laughter and shoved each other off it, singing along to a strange song that kept repeating the name “Barbara Streisand” over and over that had him dumbfounded in itself.

 

And nobody but him seemed to find that weird, apparently. 

 

He watched it for few more moments, watching them shove and laugh and fall off that thing. “What the hell are they _doing_ there?”

 

“It’s a party game.” Unazuki said but Mamoru’s look stayed confused and Motoki laughed at him. “You know, Mamoru, _games_? Function is to be silly and lose your inhibition? You might have heard of those.” 

 

He rolled it eyes at Motoki, pursing his lips in annoyance. “But what _is_ this?”

 

Usagi giggled and Aya, Usagi’s latest sleeve-pulling come-make-friends-now victim (apparently she’d recently taken a baking class with some confiseur that Makoto admired), supplied the answer. “The point is to be the last one standing on the mattress while everyone else has fallen off. Usagi-chan is standing champion of this game.”

 

He looked bewildered at his girlfriend. “ _You_?”

 

“Yes.” She gave threw him a mock-offended look, one that said ‘ _You doubting my crazy skills now_?’

 

“ _How_? You fall off of _everything_.”

 

She rolled eyes at him. “Point is to make others trip. You being the number one victim of my klutz attacks should realize I’m _very_ good at making people topple over.” She said with a mischievous look that was as flirty as they came and Motoki and Rei both rolled their eyes, then Motoki changed the subject (‘ _Aaanway…’_ ) and they continued in their conversation without the two of them.

 

Right. Mamoru chuckled at her, half-smiling back with a twinkle.

 

Usagi snuggled up to his side and looked up at him with big and playful eyes. “Wanna try?”

 

He cringed… the idea of bouncing on a mattress with lots of tipsy strangers didn’t really appeal to him _that_ much… “Nah…You can, though.”

 

Her face fell. “Hm. No…” She pouted.

 

He nudged her with his shoulder. “C’mon, you want to.”

 

“I don’t want to leave you to fend on your own just yet.” She said, lacing her fingers through his and he smiled at her warmly.

 

And it really wasn’t until much later that he did watch her join in on the game, finally.

 

Usagi hopped happily up to her classmates and onto the mattress and it was actually really amusing to him to watch Usagi dance. They were playing a loud and bubblegum, happy-go-lucky J-pop number and she was right in her element, baltering around the place, arms, legs and hair flinging wildly, face radiating joy, with no apparent sense for rhythm whatsoever and he had to chuckle for how adorable it looked.

 

And sure enough, one by one, she managed to trip anybody who dared to come too near to her and off the thing.

 

Yet Mamoru began to frown deeply when he saw Seijuro jump onto the mattress and across from her, starting to dance with her. He nudged Unazuki’s shoulder, who was standing next to him, deep in conversation with Yukihiro and a girl he didn’t know. “Hey – Is he just allowed to join in on the game later?”

 

Unazuki laughed at him with a look that cleary said ‘ _oh you smitten jealous little boy’_ although he was older than her and she was currently being also very much smitten with Yukihiro. “Yup. You’re just not allowed to go _back_ on it during a round once you fall off but you’re always allowed to join. Winner is the person who is first to stand on it on their own.”

 

Mamoru’s frown deepened, especially because someone he would like to strangle chose this exact moment to change the music from happy J-pop to a song that was immensely more sexy than the one before and he had to gulp a bit noticing that _this_ she could work with, that keeping within the rhythm was suddenly no problem for her anymore and how her hips suddenly seemed to sway back and forth so much slower, and how her belly suddenly did this roll that she usually only does when…

 

And he _really_ did not like the fact that the ones bumping into her right now were that Seijuro guy and another boy he didn’t know. Especially because right now the song they were dancing to and he mildly recognized as some Euro-pop song having been popular a few years back sported way too sexy lyrics, urging ‘ _sexy boys’_ to _‘not be so shy, play with me’_ which she wholeheartedly sang along to, swinging her glorious hair from side to side, her fists pumping the air and hips moving _way_ to sensually.

 

And it didn’t help _either_ , that he could clearly feel how much she was affecting those two boys as well.

 

Maybe it was that he did have a bit too much to drink after all, he couldn’t really explain this possessive streak that he felt in himself right now otherwise– yet really, there was nothing he could do, he _had_ to join in.

 

Not even realizing he’d walked there, in one fluid motion he had jumped up onto the mattress with such force that Seijuro slipped and fell.  

 

He smirked, not looking at the other boy and instead touched his body to hers instantly and rather possessively. She ‘ _wohooo_ ’ed, wrapped her arms around his waist, all the while looking deeply into his eyes with a small triumphant smirk around her lips and continued her way too sexy dance which affected him way too much.

 

She noticed of course, his slightly embarrassed swirl of desire, and danced even sexier, if that was possible. He dimly noticed her friends whooping loudly towards them next to the mattress, and some other people having joined in.

 

From time to time she let go of him slightly to topple into people around her, who fell off the mattress laughing, until only both of them were left standing.

 

And- before other people dare to join again, she kissed him deeply – which distracted him momentarily so much that he didn’t notice her sashaying him right off the stack of mattresses.

 

He tumbled off it, lips disconnecting from her last, and she raised her arms triumphantly to the encouraging cheers of her peers.

 

“Winner and still champion” she yelled into the room, fist in the air, and they hollered back at her. She’s the last one standing on the bouncy makeshift platform, before she officially announced Round Two, and slipped down from the mattress and into his arms while the teenagers piled happily back onto it.

 

“I didn’t know you danced like that.” She purred at him while continuing to dance with him, now on solid ground and without a sliver of space between them.

 

“I don’t. It was self-defense.” He chuckled right into her ear and said in a husky voice, yet a bit indignantly “I didn’t know _you_ danced like that, though. Do you even _realize_ what your hips are _doing_ when you dance? How some of these boys _look_ at you?”

 

Her eyes twinkled at him, and she looked at him with wide, amused eyes. “Are you _jealous_?”

 

He grumbled at her and leaned back towards her, nuzzling her ear and temple. “I might be.”

She giggled and laced her fingers behind his neck, pinning them together even more effectively and he liked the feeling of that. His head felt a little light, and her proximity was as intoxicating as it always was. This, combined with the alcohol in his system was what he blamed for the fact that he just didn’t find it in him to care how they were behaving in her friend’s living room.

 

Besides, he was pretty sure that this howling drunk boy jumping up and down on top of Naru’s couch was her own boyfriend who wasn’t behaving very maturely, so well, who cared?

 

So he and Usagi danced as closely as two people could dance. The only way to have more body contact would be if she jumped up onto his hips and attached herself to him, which she’d contemplated quite a bit already.

 

And she really didn’t even need their bond right now to know what he was feeling, as she was moving smack up against him and could feel his body reacting, giving him away. “So… when can we go home?” He breathed into her ear.

 

She giggled. “I wanna stay a bit more. I never get to dance with you like that. Also, it’s your first party, you should at least stay until someone pukes.”

 

He sighed ruefully. “Ah, right”

 

She giggled at him, and really, the whole thing between them, as always, was a bit like a drug, but she really _did_ want to stay a bit more. “We’ll go when the first people start TMIing, I promise.”

 

She could feel his confused frown at the side of her temple and giggled again. “Once people start to say or do things you’d really rather not have heard or seen?”

 

He half-smiled, lifting his head far enough from her crown and temple to look her in the eyes, raising an eyebrow. “Hm. I’m pretty sure we’re doing that right now.”

 

She giggled yet again, the tinkling sound making his throat constrict a little. And then she smirked at him, and proceeded to jump up into his arms and latch herself onto his hips. He caught her, startled, yet reflexively, supporting her weight by lacing his hands around the small of her back. “Nope, _now_ we’re doing that”, and kissed his nose.

 

On the fringes of the part of Osaka-san’s living room that had turned into a dance floor Rei joined Naru, Makoto and a very sourly looking Natsumi who were all standing to the side watching Mamoru and Usagi dance like a mix of newlywed humping rabbits and drunk teenagers.

 

“Right.” Rei snorted. ”Anyone else who can’t take the sight of so much dopamine in action all the time?”

 

Makoto laughed. “Yeah, instant cavities. I mean the way they _look_ at each other…” She shook her head in amusement. It wasn’t that she wasn’t used to it, it just continued to baffle her, how intensely these two just seemed to _feel_ for each other. It made her heart warm.

 

“It’s disgusting.” Natsumi pretty much growled and both Rei and Makoto turned to look at her startled, frowning.

 

“And it’s _wrong._ ” Natsumi continued. “I’ve almost had him back then and she just _slipped in_ like that. It didn’t make any sense. She’s bewitched him. Whenever she was around or even near suddenly all his attention was on her. It’s _wrong_. She bewitches them all, even Seijuro. She has them all fooled.“

 

Rei and Mako looked at each other in concern and alarm, but then Natsumi’s eyes widened and she held her hand in front of her mouth, blushed and then laughed uncomfortably. “Don’t mind me, I think I’ve had a bit too much to drink. I’ll go look where my brother has gone hiding.” And she hurried away.

 

Makoto frowned, and noticed Rei do the same, looking after the eerily strange girl. And Makoto didn’t remember seeing her with a glass all evening – though granted, he hadn’t been paying much attention to her.

 

“Well, _I_ think they’re very sweet together.” Naru piped up, a bit confused about Natsumi herself and Makoto almost jumped out of her skin – she’d nearly forgotten Naru was standing there from the tension she’d suddenly felt – this odd need to stand up for Usagi, defend her, protect her, even from words alone. It confused her and she shook her head, smiling at Naru.

 

“Oh, they are, totally…” Rei seemed to shake out of something as well, and gave Makoto a meaningful look. It felt strange as well, as if they shared their odd feeling of protection towards Usagi, like a bond between the two of them, a purpose. She shook her head again, even harder, trying to shake whatever it was that made her feel these strange things. Maybe _she_ had had too much to drink?

 

Instead Makoto tried to focus on Naru, trying to clear her emotions, and smiled. “Also you don’t count, Naru-chan. You _have_ a boyfriend… By the way, is he doing alright?” She trailed off and pointed towards Umino, who’d traded one surface for another and was now dancing on Osaka-san’s couch table by himself, doing something that looked like it was supposed to be twerking when it grew up.

 

Naru cringed in her giggle. “Ah well…”

 

Usagi was raising her eyes in amusement at her boyfriend. She’d hopped off of him a few moments ago – it had affected both of them too much, so they were back to dancing closely and he swayed her around. Also, he’d been trying to defend his little act of drunken jealously rather poorly.

 

"Well, that’s kinda cute, but I can fend for myself, I'm Batman after all." She said smugly, pointing at her shirt.

 

“I thought you were Superman.” He deadpanned. “You’ll have to decide on _one_ secret identity you know, you can’t covet all of them.”

 

She rolled her eyes at him while he brought his lips to her ear and whispered in a husky tone and just underneath his breath so no one else could _possibly_ overhear, especially in all that noise.”Though, I do find you sexiest as Sailor Moon.”

 

She flushed and looked at him surprised. ”Are you drunk?”

 

This time he rolled his eyes, shaking his head no, and she frowned. “But you always get so terrified!”

                                                                             

“Yes, I do…” He trailed off and leaned back towards her to whisper directly in her ear.”But afterwards, having seen you act so confident and strong…” He blushed, she couldn’t see it of course, but she felt it, as well as what it was he wasn’t saying out loud, and she blushed as well, excited.

 

She cleared her throat audibly and he chuckled. “We should get back to the others” She said and his eyes widened a little.

 

It was her turn to chuckle when he adjusted his jeans slightly and made a show of walking right behind her for a little while.

 

They found Motoki first, on his own in the kitchen, getting more drinks for himself, Makoto and Rei. Mamoru helped him with the drinks, and Usagi got some more for the two of them and while they walked back towards the girls together he remarked on how he thought Rei was so exactly like Mamoru it felt almost unnerving (“Like, everything!! Looks, demeanor, scowl, internalizing…”) and that had he told him she was his long lost little sister he’d have believed him no questions asked, to which Usagi latched on, agreeing wholeheartedly and Mamoru groaned.

 

“Apparantly we’re siblings now.” He told Rei with a slight eye-roll and raised eyebrow, who’d looked at them warily upon hearing her name mentioned so often while they approached them.

 

Rei mimicked his expression exactly and replied. “Yeah. He’s been saying that a while now.” And Usagi fell into a fit of giggles about how they kept proving Motoki’s point.

 

“Speaking of siblings.” Mamoru said, looking around. “Where’s yours?” He asked Motoki, who’s look turned sour and Makoto started to giggle, pointing to the back of the room.

 

There, he could see when squinting, was Unazuki, in a frantic looking lip-lock with Yukihiro. He chuckled.

 

Usagi cheered and jumped up and down and caught Makoto’s hand in a high five.

 

“Huh. Didn’t she have all those romantic fantasies for her first kiss?” Mamoru smirked and Motoki huffed.

 

“Apparently.” He said, sighing.

 

“Well, _cheers_ to living the moment.” Makoto said, holding up her glass, eyeing both Mamoru and Motoki scoldingly, and everyone raised theirs in answer.

 

Asanuma came up to them then, clinking glasses with them, and he had to smile at the younger boy and the way he obviously had taken a liking to Makoto. Asanuma blushed at his look and looked away and Usagi looked up at Mamoru with bright eyes, having seen the quiet exchange and obviously having decided she liked the way Asanuma looked at and treated Mamoru.

 

“So how do you know each other?” Usagi had asked Asanuma und he blushed and rattled off a story about Mamoru that was perhaps a bit too appreciative but it made him smile, as it did Usagi, while Makoto laughed at him, nudging his side and teased Asanuma for it. It was quite adorable to look at.

 

Rei never strayed too far away from Makoto’s or Usagi’s side as well, and it was a bit surprising to him actually how fast Makoto and Rei had seemed to warm to each other, almost instantaneously, and Mamoru had to think about a comment from Motoki from earlier in the evening. He had to agree; they did make a sight that absolutely fit together, the three of them. Both of them magnets, attaching their little minuses to his girlfriend, and even though he’d rolled his eyes at Motoki for the comment he and his own little minus had to secretly agree.

The evening went on like that, quite pleasantly, and they’d moved around from corner to corner, Usagi danced a bit with Makoto and Rei in between, practically dragging Rei out under protest and then she ended up dancing so much she didn’t want to leave the dancefloor again (as long as no one dared to dance her up, but she made that clear towards anyone who attempted to go near her and Mamoru had to chuckle at the sight.)

 

He was standing with Motoki and Asanuma then, and they talked a bit about how things were going at ‘ _good old Moto’_ as Motoki said, when Natsumi came up and asked him to dance and he politely but decisively declined and she batted her eyelashes and tried again and Mamoru sighed, ran an agitated hand through his hair and declined again and again until she went off in a huff and a glare.

 

It was quite a bit later in the evening when the girls had rejoined them – all except Unazuki, still busy with Yukihiro, and Motoki was asking himself and Mamoru if he thought if it were part of older brother responsibilities to slip Unazuki a condom, just in case? And both of them blushed and shook their heads _no way_ and Makoto had rolled her eyes, extended her opened hand towards Motoki, which he had frowned at and then asked “Condom?” in a slightly commanding tone.

 

Motoki had blushed a deep red and huffed “Well, _I_ don’t have one with me”, with raised hands and Usagi rolled her eyes, snaked her hand into Mamoru’s jeans pocket and pulled one out (under snickers and comments from anyone present), handing it to Makoto to slip to Unazuki – just in case –

 which she promptly went for.

 

“So… is that TMIing, yet?” Mamoru nodded towards Umino, who was flailing his arms and legs in a weird attempt of a sexy dance on top of Osaka-san’s coffee table, shouting along the lyrics to ‘Sexy and I know it’.

 

They all turned to look in Umino’s direction simultaneously and Usagi giggled. Fuyumi, who chose that exact moment to walk by next to her snorted and said, “Nah. He’s done worse before. But my money’s on him as well.”

 

“Oh c’mon.” Usagi laughed. “Umino is my dancing queen. He’s so cute like that! It’s _adorable_. He’s like a little baby _PSY_. Naru should get him drunk more often.” Also, Usagi felt a little to blame for this. She was the one that had made Umino dance the Gangnam Style at Naru’s _last_ birthday and he’s been ridiculous-dancing his way through all the birthdays in their class ever since.

 

Mamoru furrowed his brow, not knowing what a ‘PSY’ was, while Naru made an appreciative sound and nodded at Usagi vehemently. “ _Thank_ you, Usagi-chan, _I_ think so, too.”

 

Fuyumi giggled with little snorts splattered in. “You should see him ‘shake it off’”, she said to Mamoru and then her eyes widened with an excited look in her eyes and she glided off to their classmate who was manning the music requesting a certain song.

 

They stood like that for a while, some people wandering off, others joining, talking about nothing really, and Mamoru had to admit he was having fun. He’d never in his life felt comfortable in a crowd this size, and from what he got off of Makoto and Rei, neither had they, judging on the wondrous feelings they had mixed in there, and he knew it was completely due to this little ball of sunshine that was currently leaning against him, making everyone shine along with her, being friendly and accepting.

 

He sighed appreciatively, and brought up his arm up to stroke her side a bit, cradling her a little more towards him in the process. She just continued talking to her friends, as the contact was so completely normal to them, and it made him smile.

 

He could see Seijuro in the distance,  across the room, staring daggers at him and glaring openly, but oh well, the boy simply had to deal in his opinion.

 

He’d been trying to chat Usagi up a few times after dancing with her, and Mamoru had always stood to the side, not saying anything, letting her fend for herself like she wanted but not straying far, and she’d always kept the conversation light and cheerful, like she treated anybody, open and friendly, and had even started to pick out girls in the crowd who looked at Seijuro with fluttering eyes, pointing out similar tastes in music and things like that, trying to set them up, yet Seijuro continued to have eyes only for Usagi.

 

They ended up leaving quite early, Seijuro and his sister, both looking to be in serious bad moods and Usagi felt bad for them, yet Rei, quite ominously, said to stay away from them and she was getting bad vibes off them.  “No shit.” Makoto agreed vehemently, and Rei half-smiled at Makoto, just for a second until her face was blank again.

 

Their own TMI-cue to go had been loud and clear, then, later (Umino, drunk as he was, shouting over the crowd that _he_ wore _his_ on the left side of his pants.), and Rei and Makoto left with them and they walked down the street, swinging now empty cooler boxes to the corner where they would all part.

 

“Should we walk you guys home?” Mamoru asked, trying to be cavalier, and both Rei and Makoto looked at him in disbelief – one could turn herself into a fire beacon and the other kicked his ass every other day. He cringed at that, laughing, having forgotten for a second over his manners whom he was talking to, and well, Makoto especially didn’t know it was Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Moon who had offered to walk her home but that scrawny guy and his tiny girlfriend.

 

So Makoto had in fact offered Rei to walk her home, to which she’d agreed solely for the reason that she wanted to spend a bit more time with her, and they’d all bid their goodnights and walked in their respective directions.

 

He’d walked Usagi to her front door instead of slipping into her room without her beforehand, as the lights were still on and he wanted to make sure Kenji knew he’d held his promise to not let her get back on her own, and he was equally surprised when Ikuko had announced that she’d gotten Kenji to agree that Mamoru should just stay the night instead of walking home on his own at so late an hour, with a wink that made Mamoru  realize how much she knew and his heart skipped a beat and he blushed furiously, and Kenji had grumbled but let them trudge upstairs.

 

 

L

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Natsumi and Seijuro are pretty angry now^^
> 
> Let me know what you think, please <3 <3


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, just on a side note, but I’ve been moodboarding for Ikigai on a tumblr page that I recently basically made for just that purpose. If anybody is interested in that, or just in chatting with me, it’s called - unsurprisingly – floraone.

L

 

Seijuro sat on the balustrade of their balcony, legs dangling over the ledge, the golden glow of sunrise warming him. He wasn’t afraid of course; who would if they had the power to teleport.

 

He was playing his flute, and today it wasn’t his usual rather peaceful melody that he used to play when generating Cardians into being. Today the tune was vengeful and unforgiving.

 

He was furious, ragingly jealous, feeling ridiculed by the human who not only held the attention of the one human girl he found most alluring of all, the one he wanted to possess so badly above all other things he had ever wanted for himself – but of his own companion as well.

 

He was so jealous he felt blinded by it, the emotion more intense than any he had ever felt. He usually already felt jealous of any person that got to be around Tsukino Usagi, everyone who got to be her friend, and felt slighted that he had been not singled out to be worthy of her friendship and affection, especially when it seemed that any other person was. It haunted him, and he tried to seize her so badly, doing everything he could to capture her attention.

 

Was it not his right to have her attention as well?

 

But her attention was held captive. He could see that after last night. She was completely enthralled by that boy that used to be as volatile to her as he was to Ann.

 

He hadn’t done anything against the boy until now. He hadn’t wanted to – Ann was all he had in life, and he didn’t want to cause her pain. That was what they came here for: Peace, a place that could nourish them, somewhere where pain was in the past. He would not expose her to more of the pain they had endured and grown up to.

 

And they had finally found a source of energy within these humans that was capable of restoring their dying tree’s life force: the energy of people who gave affection to others. It had come as a surprise, and a prize: The lives of two people. Bipierrot had not been prepared for this sudden surge of energy that flowed through her and into the tree – she had taken too much, too fast, and they had died.

 

Seijuro had mourned these deaths – they were not here to take life, it had been an accident. And were there a way to extract this energy other than the aversive ways they had to use, the only way they knew how to, they would. They only wanted to save their own lives, and live a normal one as much as it was possible for them here. The suffering of others was not their intention.

 

But now, there was one life he wanted to see suffering, one person he wanted gone. One person over all others that he wanted out of the picture.

 

Chiba Mamoru.

 

L

 

 

“We can just meet up at the metro station? Exit2?” Makoto said into her phone, a warm smile on her lips. “We’ll still need another, uh… 20 minutes to get there?” She looked questioningly at Rei who nodded reassuringly. “Okay, see you two then, Usagi-chan!”

 

They had been strolling through the maze of backstreets around Omote-sando, window-shopping along the eccentric little shops and second hand clothing stores there to the brightest blue skies imaginable. They didn’t actually buy anything. In fact, Makoto hadn’t even been paying that much attention but reveled in the fact that she was spending time with another person, one that not only agreed but wanted to spend time with her.

 

So Makoto laughed at ridiculous outfits they tried on but didn’t buy, ones that were loud and cheerful and that Rei kept snickering about how girly and frilly and Harajuku they were and how they’d maybe fit Usagi perfectly but not them, so they made photos of each other in them in silly poses and sent them to their mutual friend (Rei’s photos, of course, were accompanied by warnings she wrote, all in caps, that she would fry Usagi if she dared to show them to anyone else, even Mamoru.)

 

The thought alone made her heart warm; their mutual friend.  And how it felt a little bit like family, even though they’d only ever been in that constellation once the night before, and had only met Rei within the past 12 hours.

 

She’d been thrilled this morning that Rei had actually said yes when out of the spur of the moment she’d decided to dare to just call Rei and ask her if she wanted to spend her Saturday with her, and maybe they could meet up later with Mamoru and Usagi if they wanted to? A resounding yes, even, almost as if she’d wanted to ask the same thing last night and hadn’t dared to either. Makoto had been so nervous, calling. She never usually did this sort of thing. Before her parents had died she’d been too young to arrange her own get-togethers and after… well, afterwards she had been in such a bad place for so long that nobody had really wanted to spend time with her, and those who did hadn’t been very good for her.

 

But yeah, seemingly, Makoto had gotten the hang of it now, allowed herself to be bold and open and cheeky, like she would have been before all this mess that had been her life for so long now, and trusted her friends to like her, no questions asked. It was amazing. It was the happiest she’d ever felt.

 

So this was how the two of them now made their way back to Juuban, to meet up with Usagi and Mamoru for Fruit Parfaits to end this lovely afternoon. They talked about anything and everything on the way in hushed low voices – about her training sessions with the two, about Makoto’s parents, about Rei’s relationship to her father, and she had the distinct feeling to know that Rei opened up to her in a way that she normally wouldn’t. She felt incredibly flattered and warm about it.

 

The changed into the Namboku line, and arrived back in Juuban in only three stops. Mamoru and Usagi were already waiting up on the street by Exit 2 (Usagi was never late when it came to food dates) and the bubbly blonde fell around them with big happy hugs and loud and cheerful greetings and a smile that shone as brightly as the sun that beamed down on them, as if they hadn’t seen each other in forever even though it had only been last night, while Mamoru, as always, stood back with his hands in his pockets, a slight shrug in his shoulders and a half-smile as a greeting, until Makoto came and engulfed him in a hug as well.

 

She knew he liked hugs, the big marshmallow; he just wasn’t the type to initiate them.

 

They settled into a dainty small café with iron-wrought chairs that reminded Makoto of a little French bistro and ordered their Parfaits (for the girls) and black coffee (Mamoru was just boring, sometimes), and Mamoru teased Rei for that rainbow-colored tutu she’d worn in that one photo at which Rei started yelling at Usagi for having shown it to him after all and Usagi ducked behind Makoto to hide, then Rei stole Usagi’s one strawberry from her parfait in revenge, which had Usagi start a war that could only be stopped by Makoto sacrificing her own strawberry in peace-negotiations.

 

It was perfect.

 

Makoto’s laughter died on her lips when Rei froze suddenly, her eyes widened, her whole demeanor changed and she looked frantically at Mamoru, who had seemed to react to her immediately.

 

“You said no more…appearances for a while.” He said, vaguely, glancing at Makoto warily while still talking to Rei.

 

She had gone pale, ashen even, as if she suddenly felt sick. “Guess I was wrong.” Rei said. “We need to go _now_.”

 

It was then that Makoto felt this sinking feeling in her gut, this pinch in the back of her mind, the feeling she always got before these monsters appeared. This feeling of panic, almost, of adrenaline and thrill pumping through her, and as if in answer, she could hear a rumble of thunder outside which made Usagi jump a mile, on this clear, clear sunny day, and storm clouds form.

 

She tried to calm herself down, soothe the storm, stop the thunder.

 

Makoto swallowed. This had happened before… Usagi and Mamoru running off just at the same time she felt this. Usagi had started to make lame and weird excuses, too loud, too rash and they’d practically jumped out their seats and were scrambling for the money to pay their Parfaits, making to leave Makoto alone on her own abruptly, as they had done two times before, only now with Rei, too.

 

Makoto swallowed again, and then stopped Usagi mid-excuse in a small, hushed voice. “…You’re feeling this too, right? This pinge of danger when the Cardians appear?”

 

Usagi’s and Mamoru’s eyes widened while Rei seemed strangely calm, as if she had expected Makoto to know.

 

Makoto continued. “…Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask… I’ve seen them fight, on the news. … They fight exactly like you two do, exactly like I show you to.”

 

Mamoru looked at Rei and she nodded, and Usagi opened and closed and opened her mouth again. They stood frozen, even when Makoto felt it in her so acutely, knowing whatever it was it needed their attention _now_.

 

“I want to help.” Makoto said, with an unwavering voice, and stood up herself.

 

“Mako-chan…” Usagi started, eyes wide.

 

And Mamoru came a step towards her. “You already do help us… so much.”

 

Makoto’s jaw set. “Then I want to help more.”

 

 

L

 

 

They sat at dinner with Usagi’s parents, and Mamoru frowned.

 

Mamoru couldn’t wrap his head around this. Why would a Cardian attack at his apartment complex? It had found victims, yes, but it wasn’t at all like the usual spots – parks, amusement centers, metro stations – places where people mingled, filled with crowds. And it had seemed to him the Cardian had been looking for something in particular, and not finding it where it suspected it.

 

Usagi had practically gone ballistic when Rei had told them where they were headed, she’d been so sure they must have found out his identity, gone after him directly, but it just didn’t _seem_ so. If the Cardian had been there for Tuxedo Mask, shouldn’t it have reacted differently when he’d shown up?

 

It had been a Cardian on the smaller scale again, humanoid, a kind of horned centaur, and it had stopped in its tracks for a second to gaze at him just when they had arrived at the scene, as Tuxedo Mask, as if deciding over something and then letting it go. It had been quite obvious that he hadn’t been what the Cardian was looking for. But it had been a long enough pause for Sailor Moon to corner it from behind, have it on its hind-legs in a swift movement that Makoto had shown her to do weeks ago, and touch her purying hands to its horns – it had evaporated into fog before it even had the chance to howl.

 

It had been easy enough to destroy, Usagi hadn’t needed any help this time at all, and it was gone almost before the fight had even started.

 

And Makoto had been there, with them, had crouched away in safety as they had begged her to, along with Rei, so they wouldn’t be seen… Had seen them transform in an alley behind that café without batting an eyelash, as if it were the most normal thing to see…

 

They’d gone up to his apartment afterwards, the four of them, and they had talked. Everything that had happened to them so far, how it began, their crazy reincarnation theory, everything. Makoto had swallowed it all, had, strangely, believed them. Had talked of a strange power in herself, that she didn’t understand and could barely control. And Usagi had been concerned, but so secretly thrilled, he had felt it radiating off of her, to have Makoto by their side.

 

They’d all be training together from now on, it seemed… He sighed.

 

He felt he wasn’t doing a very good job at protecting this city if he kept failing to keep the people who were dear to him from joining in the fight.

 

“—Mamoru-dear?”

 

His head whipped up, pulled out of his thoughts, and his startled eyes settled on Ikuko and he blushed furiously. “Excuse me?”

 

He couldn’t keep the blush away. He’d blushed this morning around her as well, now that he knew that she knew he was practically living in her house and sleeping with her daughter he felt so awkward and embarrassed he couldn’t really look her in the eye.

 

“Do you want some more?” Ikuko repeated, warmly, with an amused smile.

 

“Uh…, I’m fine, thank you, Tsukino-san.”

 

“ _Ikuko_ ” She said, with a frown. Mamoru had been better at that before. She suspected she’d never get him to drop the suffix, yet he could at least use her first name couldn’t he? He hadn’t been this formal the last couple of weeks, and it irked her a bit, so she just continued talking right away and heaped more food onto Usagi’s plate.

 

“What time are we leaving tomorrow, Mama?” Usagi asked around a mouth full of her mother’s Katsudon. And Ikuko supplied a time with a twinkle in her eyes.

 

They had plans to go to a street festival tomorrow, spend a pleasant Sunday all together. It had been so heartwarming to him, the way the invitation had extended towards him without saying, he’d felt so included. Ikuko had been talking about barely anything else all week, had looked forward to see them all spend time together, wear yukatas and enjoy the street food, yet now Mamoru felt so awkward he didn’t know if he should rather be terrified of it.

 

And it terrified him even more when she had suggested that maybe Mamoru wanted to help her with the dishes today, instead of Usagi?

 

So this was how he stood there now, face flushed crimson, dish towel in hand, drying everything Ikuko handed him dripping.

 

Outside it was raining so relentlessly that water pitter-pattered onto the glass of the kitchen window even though it was situated in the current shadow of the howling wind, and it gave his roiling emotions a weirdly fitting soundtrack.

 

They had worked in silence for a while, he guessed Ikuko was waiting for him to get comfortable to talk, but the silence felt so unceasingly awkward that it was him who ended up breaking it, stuttering helplessly.

 

“I… I’m sorry I’ve… I know I’ve outstayed my welcome, I didn’t mean to be disrespectful, I…”

 

Ikuko stopped him with a small laugh. “Mamoru-dear, you forget that I was 16, too, once. I was just as old as Usagi is now when Kenji and I met. All is good. I’m happy how well you two treat each other, and I trust you both to be responsible. You’re _always_ welcome here.”

 

His throat constricted, and he had to blink. “I’m very...  I love your family Tsukino-san…”

 

“ _Ikuko_ ” She interrupted him, as if automatic, but with a small amused smile playing around her lips.

 

He swallowed, glanced at her sideways and then back at the bowl he was drying meticulously. “I’ve never felt this … accepted. You adopted me into your family so freely, and it makes me very…” He stopped, frowned and trailed off.

 

Ikuko was silent for a while, studying his slightly crouched and vulnerable posture. As if he were afraid she were to whip around and take Usagi away from him. She exhaled slowly and then started to talk. “The world hasn’t been very good to you, so far, Mamoru, it’s edged in your smile.” She said, and Mamoru glanced up at her with a look that made her gut clench in sympathy.  “But please believe me that we all mean that – even Kenji my old grouch –“ She laughed heartily. “You _are_ part of this family now, dear.”

 

He swallowed thickly and cleared his throat, never looking up from the dishtowel and the last and very much dry bowl he kept rubbing. The rain against the window was again the only sound in the kitchen for a while. Only when Ikuko thought he wouldn’t speak anymore he said in a very small voice, almost whispering,  “Thank you, Ikuko-san.”

 

She smiled.

 

Then she took a deep steeling breath and proceeded to holler through the house, so loud he shuddered a bit. “THERE’S A THUNDERSTORM OUTSIDE, I’M TELLING MAMORU TO STAY AGAIN TONIGHT!”

 

He heard Kenji mumble something incomprehensible in the next room and Mamoru blushed again. Ikuko only took the towel and bowl from him, winking, and nudged him out the kitchen door to go upstairs already.

 

 

L

 

It was one of the smaller autumn chestnut festivals, and most definitely the last one of the season, but because this late autumn was so very warm, it just felt like a summer Matsuri. Paper lanterns were wiggling in the soft breeze, the street food from the vendors were supplying the street with delicious odors, they could hear the drums being played in the distance signaling a small traditional theatrical performance, and Ikuko had promised them they would be able to see a small-scale tezutsu hand-held fireworks show on the Sumida-River later in the evening, which Usagi loved to bits and was looking forward to extremely.

 

Many people wore their casual summer Yukatas, and so were they.

 

She loved Mamoru in Yukata or Kimono – she already knew his Juban from several occasions– it was midnight blue silk, matching his eyes perfectly, with a darker collar and a really nice but classy pattern and he sometimes wore it open as a cardigan of sorts over simple dark matching shirts and pants when he felt particularly stylish and flamboyant even though it was so fancy or maybe just because of that, or just simply tied with his tiny narrow koshi-himo waist-string in the mornings when they stayed in his apartment and he didn’t wanna really dress.

 

His Yukata today was similar – cotton, the same midnight blue mixed with white in a  pattern that seemed to have been batik dyed with a very narrow light grey obi belt that he wore very low on his hips – and he wore a dark anthracite colored and textured Haori jacket over it. He was as smartly and stylishly dressed as he always was.

 

Her family’s Yukatas were more toned down and simple – her mother wore a dark green one with a large flower on her back that was otherwise uni-colored, both her father and brother’s Yukatas were a simple uni-colored blue with white and black striped narrow obis. Her own Yukata was the most colorful, very powdery light pink with lots of pastel colored flowers – roses, dahlias, cherry blossoms on it, and a wide flowery turquoise colored obi with matching oversized flower headpiece that she clipped onto one of her buns.

 

Mamoru and she stood out from her family a bit, it made them look like they belonged together, both a bit more over the top like that – and she loved it.

 

Mamoru felt oddly comfortable. Especially after his conversation with Ikuko the previous evening. It felt especially odd to him that this didn’t feel strange to him anymore in the midst of her family – he knew he felt at home in their home now, at their dinner table, but shouldn’t this still feel a bit different, out and about with them? It didn’t.

 

He smiled.

 

He mostly stuck with Kenji, who was getting loud over their current topic – foreign politics – and had been excited over the last one – Sailor Moon, Tuxedo Mask and their anonymous new fiery companion. Ikuko was strolling along in front of them, checking out the stalls silently with a soft smile, and he could see Shingo running around and getting lost from time to time staring at his phone in his hand murmuring things like _‘there’s an Aerodactyl over there’_ and _‘there’s a lure on here’,_ which Mamoru didn’t have a clue what he was talking about yet Usagi kept skipping off with Shingo to look over his shoulder onto his phone screen and thus kept getting lost alongside.

 

They always found their way back fairly quickly though, Shingo and Usagi, especially when Mamoru had bought Yakitori skewers for everyone and Usagi kept appearing from seemingly out of nowhere to steal bites off his, even though she had her own.

 

The sun was slowly beginning to set, the skies were turning a deeper blue, streaked with pink and yellows, and the lit lanterns now created even more of a wonderfully warm atmosphere and they were slowly making their way towards the Sumida-River that was very close by to watch the handheld fireworks.

 

They passed a small bridge that was decorated completely in colorful lanterns which Ikuko gushed about in a way that had Mamoru smiling because it reminded him so much of Usagi. Kenji had got it in his head then that this was the perfect spot for a new family photo, so he set his large professional camera to work that he carried with him on a small extendable tripod (he didn’t trust other people to take good photos), adjusted the settings for the view with his wife as his willing test subject and then hollered across the bridge towards Usagi and Shingo. “Tsukinos! Family photo!” to get them to gather around Ikuko.

 

They came running – or tripping, more accurately in Usagi’s case in her narrow and tightly bound Yukata – Kenji set the timer, yet Mamoru remained standing fidgeting to the side of Kenji’s camera, until Kenji frowned at him and pulled him with him into the photo. “That means you too, son, come on up.” He said warmly, a bit amused.

 

Mamoru’s throat constricted as he put himself into position behind his beaming girlfriend, putting his hands on her shoulders, and he was pretty sure he’d be sporting a very peculiar look in this photo.

 

It was the first family photo he remembered ever being a part of.

 

And he had a feeling it would even surpass the one from his birthday in the favorite photo category.

 

They took two more, Kenji kept re-setting the timer, sprinting back and forth between them and the tripod, and he knew Usagi felt what was going on in him, because she brought her hand up to her shoulder to clutch one of his and stroked over it lovingly and sighed a little with a content smile and didn’t move off with Shingo again afterwards but kept to his side instead.

 

This day might very well be the one in his life that most felt like home, like he belonged somewhere. Here, next to the woman that owned his heart, with Usagi’s tiny little hand in his, walking leisurely among her family that welcomed him so.

 

He never wanted to lose this.

 

They made their way across then, and found a spot amongst the crowd by the riverbank that still held a bit room for them to wait for the fireworks. Meanwhile Shingo , who wasn’t interested in the fireworks in the least, had met a classmate in the crowd who was playing the same game he was, and after some nagging Ikuko had relented in allowing him to go off and home with his friend to play some other games on his console and catch more Pokémon on the way. “But be back by 9.30!” Ikuko had called after them and Shingo had rushed off and towards the metro station without looking back.

 

It was still a little while until the fireworks were announced, and Mamoru looked around and understood with a chuckle why Shingo might have been disinterested in this spectacle – all around the riverbanks were mostly only couples, him and Usagi and her parents included.

 

He smiled, looking around, until his face fell with an uncomfortable thought. If Rei was right and the Cardians were indeed after love then this would be the perfect spot for an attack right now. He shook his head, chastising himself for the negative thought, and Usagi looked at him concerned.

 

And as if Karma struck to punish him for that thought, all of a sudden they both felt this tug in their gut and the spike of adrenaline that meant a Cardian was arriving.

 

They didn’t need to look at each other of course, they knew what it meant.

 

 

Right in front of them, rising out of the Sumida-River, a Cardian resembling a mermaid which was completely made up of foam and water broke out to the surface and hovered in the air with a loud shriek.

 

Everything happened so fast; The Cardian howled and seemed to single in on him, of all people. It expelled a jet of water that sizzled and crackled with electricity, which he was just only so able to dodge.

 

Mamoru and Usagi clutched at each other in alarm, looking for ways to get out of the crowd to transform, while Kenji clutched at Usagi and him, trying to get them to run with them in the same direction, forbidding them to leave his side, and they couldn’t but run with him.

 

Mamoru tried to steer them away so they would lose them, so they could hide to come back and fight, but Ikuko held Usagi’s arm in the death grip only a mother could have when seeing their child in danger.

 

They were slow, too slow, and the screaming crowd so dense and panicked, and the Cardian screamed in a high-pitched noise that wasn’t a voice and that hurt their ears and with it emanated tiny droplets of water in all directions that solidified when connecting with the victims it desired and with little bolts of electricity coming from the tiny droplets the people it hit fell limp to the ground. Mamoru ducked just in time, and nothing fell on him, even though he felt eerily that his had been the Cardian’s most wanted direction.

 

Among its first victims though were Kenji and Ikuko.

 

L

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A cliffhanger, I know, I'm so sorry, but I absolutely needed a cut there for the chapter to work like it does in my head, and for this chapter to not get too long as well. I'll update very soon, PROMISE!
> 
> And as always, you help me out lots by letting me know what you thought of this chapter!^^
> 
> I also got to experience this morning what CRAZY feels it makes when someone makes you FANFIC FANART GAH! (smokingbomber made me a tiny!Rei with a stack of zippos and I cried xD, you can check it out on her tumblr)
> 
> So, just putting it out there, but if anybody out there with those crazy fanart talents wanted to make me the HAPPIEST person ever: I would be so ecstatic about a lanterned-bridge/Yukata-wearing-Tsukino –family-portrait ;) ;) ;) XD XD


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter is my husband’s favorite so far. I hope you like it, too ^^
> 
>  
> 
> Also… a note xD - throughout this a lot of people have commented on Ikuko, and how chill she is, and well, I thought I'd explain her.  
> Naoko based the Tsukinos on her own family, and I took the liberty to do the same, so Ikuko (and some parts of Kenji, too) is about 70% my own Mama.   
> My mom's the most loving and enabling and supporting person in the world who has raised four daughters on her own. Conversations Ikuko has with Mamoru and Usagi are mostly me channeling the kinds of conversations my mom has had with us - like when my oldest sister's first girlfriend came to live with us when I was very little and they only teenagers - cause her girlfriend's parents weren't as cool with a coming out as my mom was.   
> So there's Ikuko for you.

L

 

 

They freed Kenji and Ikuko as effectively and fast as they could. Usagi gripped the droplets with her bare hands – her fingers got burned from the electricity but she didn’t care, didn’t even flinch to get it off her father and Mamoru did the same with Ikuko. He hefted Ikuko up and carried her, her eyelids fluttering, Kenji could walk with Usagi’s assistance and they got them out of there and into the nearest alley where they appeared to be at least somewhat safe and away.

 

Mamoru sat Ikuko down gentle on the ground, while Usagi helped Kenji to carefully lean against the wall and catch his breath.

 

Mamoru beside her clutched her hands behind her back and as discreetly as he could – Kenji and Ikuko were still in shock, breathing hard, not paying too much attention, she felt him direct his energy to them and heal the burns.

 

Both her parents were weak, her mother barely awake yet frantic, and she looked back out the alley. They were relatively safe here, she thought with a nod. They could leave them here for the time being.

 

She knelt back down towards her mother – Kenji had sat down next to her and held her hand, talking, exhaustedly, without any strength to it, in a soothing voice, and Usagi held a hand to her forehead. She was sweaty, cold, but awake. She would be alright.

 

She nodded at Mamoru, stood up and they turned to leave.

 

Kenji freaked out. He jumped up grabbed at Usagi with a strength that shouldn’t be left in his bones, yelled at them, clutching at her Yukata desperately.

 

“Papa, you need to let me go.” She begged, trying to get his grip to loosen and looked back at Mamoru with wide eyes. Her mother, noticing in her delirium what was happening started to regain her consciousness fully, only to panic.

 

“ _No_!” She yelled, getting up awkwardly, at the same time that Kenji said that he couldn’t let them go out there and put themselves in danger.

 

Usagi looked at Mamoru, she felt the turmoil in him. He didn’t know what to do either.

 

“Stay here, stay safe.” Kenji begged, almost on the brink of tears. “Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Moon will be here any second to deal with it, just wait and see.”

 

Mamoru came a step nearer back towards her, and Usagi looked up and into Mamoru’s widened eyes, and with that she got out her brooch and transformed right in front of her parents.

 

They were still as statues, looking at Sailor Moon in front of them with bated breaths that just wouldn’t be expelled. Her mother started to cry silently when Usagi whispered sadly, “They won’t be if you don’t let us go.”

 

Mamoru swallowed and transformed as well, and Ikuko started hiccupping in her heavy crying as she sank back to the floor.

 

Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Moon looked back at their wide, shocked and teary eyes and then at each other, nodded, and dashed from the alley and towards the screams.

 

Ikuko still called after them. Her _No_ ’s and _Come back_ ’s swallowed by her hiccups.

 

L

 

 

They hadn’t stayed in that alley of course. They had to be closer, they had to _see_.

 

Her baby….

 

It had been ghastly, outlandish, seeing Sailor Moon fight and knowing this was her own daughter putting her own life at risk. Her baby.

 

But somehow… she was shocked, terrified, yes… but somehow not really that surprised. It all made sense, the weird excuses she and Mamoru sometimes had, the way Usagi sometimes argued with Kenji over news coverage of the heroes, something she had never done before, the lost and sunken looks she adopted when anybody spoke of the victims…

 

And she knew, of course, her moonchild’s weird affliction to the moon. As a child she would always be drawn to it, saying it protected her… And Ikuko had always believed this, too.

 

Usagi’s birth had been difficult. She had been born prematurely, and at one point the doctors had feared not only for Usagi’s life, but for Ikuko’s as well. The labor ward had been on the top floor of the hospital, and Ikuko had been able to see the full moon through the big skylight. Usagi came into the world and didn’t cry, and didn’t take her first breath, and the doctors had been getting frantic, when the clouds cleared in front of the moon and it shined, for a second, so brightly, and Usagi let out her first little wail as in answer. Ikuko had thought it fate, given their name, Tsukino – of the moon – and named her daughter Usagi because of it. Her little moon bunny. Her baby.

 

She recalled, suddenly, in the back of her mind, all those times when Usagi was little, could just barely talk, when she had had these nightmares and Kenji and Ikuko were so often staying awake with her throughout the night to help her through them. And afterwards, she’d told them such creative tales, that Ikuko had found endlessly adorable.

 

After all, lots of kids had imaginary friends and made up stories, but only her daughter had had a made-up kingdom.

 

She had thought it endearing at the time. Especially because her moonchild used to waddle outside during a full moon, basking in the moonlight.

 

And now her baby was here, was fighting as a warrior who claimed in the media that she was doing it in the name of the moon, fueled by its power.

 

Ikuko was trembling, her whole attention fixed on her daughter, yet still everything that happened went by in a blur, as if viewed through a distorted lens. She was in shock, she was aware of that at least. Kenji, beside her, clutching at her, seemed to be a bit more coherent. This wasn’t surprising to her, as a reporter he was used to being in the midst of catastrophe, especially since these Cardian attacks. So she clutched back, letting herself be guided and held together by her husband.

 

The fight had taken so long. Forever, in her perception. Sailor Moon – no, _Usagi_ – was drenched, completely wet, both the howling stormy wind that blew the Sumida in all directions and the watery body of the Cardian, and had several burns on her, and seeing every single one of them inflicted on her felt to Ikuko as if she’d suffered them on her own. Tuxedo Mask – no, _Mamoru_ – had been there to whisk her away for most of them, but he himself was in a state that was even worse.

There had been a girl, hooded, to the side, away from the water, and she’d shouted at them from time to time, and then she’d expelled a wall of fire – the Cardian, made up completely of water, had simply swallowed it up, unaffected,  it’s fluid body seemingly boiling for a second judging from the look of it and from  Usagi’s scream and the welts the her skin on her thigh had made when hit with it directly afterwards.

 

No fire had appeared again in this fight afterwards, yet through the howling winds lightening struck only once, though from whence it had come she had absolutely no idea, and it hit the riverbed, just beside the Cardian, as though it had missed its mark: The creature, already filled with electricity, had only shuddered in pleasure, soaked up the electricity in the water and expelled it in bolts that had paralyzed Tuxedo Mask momentarily, and Ikuko’s heart had felt like it had stopped when he didn’t directly get up from where he fell.

 

It was so much later that Mamoru shielded her daughter from an onslaught of burning watery electricity that he himself endured so she could sink into the Sumida-River and do _something_ – the result of which was that the whole river started glowing, white, so brightly, and the creature howled and exploded in a sense fog, the water once again becoming calm, normal.

Ikuko let out a sob at the same time that everybody else who remained on site – mostly media and police – cheered victory.

 

Mamoru’s cape was shredded, blood seeping through. Usagi helped him stand, supporting his weight like she’d done with Kenji what seemed like a lifetime ago and was probably only half an hour or so.

 

And then it had all been over, and the two of them had fled the scene, and Kenji and Ikuko stood dumbfounded, not knowing what to do, until Ikuko felt a hand touch her shoulder from behind and it had scared her so much she had jumped but it was her daughter, in her pretty flowery Yukata, with a frightened and concerned look in her eye, Mamoru just behind her.

 

She gasped, and clutched at her, rolled up the sleeve of Usagi’s Yukata to expect the wound she had seen inflicted on her arm – but nothing was there, only baby smooth skin. She grabbed Mamoru by the upper arm, turned him around even though of course she would see nothing through his Haori jacket, but slowed in her movements, noticing that he wasn’t flinching like a person would whose back would be practically skinned. Her breathing sped up, and slowed down, and sped up again.

 

A girl, beautiful, with long dark hair, stormed towards Usagi then, yelling why in the hell she would be so irresponsible to forget her phone, but then froze upon seeing Ikuko and her husband. Mamoru gave a sharp shake of his head, and the girl nodded and turned back to where she came from, another, tall and auburn-haired, behind her in her wake.

 

They had been silent the entire way home. Kenji was almost bursting, she knew it, but he kept it bottled up on the way. She herself didn’t really even remember their way home.

 

Kenji broke the silence on the way only once, when he got out his phone to call Shinji – telling him that they were alright, nothing had happened to them, and to stay with his friend overnight because they didn’t want him to navigate the city tonight after what had happened. It was quick thinking, and Ikuko admired his ability to still be able to do so in the light of what they had just found out.

 

Only when they had shut the door behind them did Kenji break. He started to sob, low, gut-wrenching, and Ikuko stroked his back. Her own tears had already run dry, she didn’t know if she had any left.

 

Usagi and Mamoru stood in the hallway, both frozen. Ikuko could see the way Mamoru clutched her hand, and if he were afraid they were going to rip her away from him.

 

Ikuko nodded for them to go into the living room, and they did. They huddled into a corner on the couch, and they looked so out of place there, hunched in their Yukatas.

 

Kenji had managed to calm down, and swallowed thickly. He stood in the middle of the room, too agitated to sit. He opened his mouth to talk, and frowned, then closed it again.

 

It was Usagi who started to talk. “Papa…” She started, and Kenji looked at her sharply. „I…. Do you remember our conversation after that couple died? In the car, after you picked me up from the scene?”

 

Kenji blinked, and nodded, his eyes widened.

 

“I asked you if you’d feel differently if it were me who was fighting…” She said carefully.

 

This time he did sit down, on the edge of the couch, exhaling. “Usagi… did you… Did you try to tell me then?”

 

“I … maybe?” Usagi flinched, but then shook her head. “No… No, I don’t think so. I was making up my mind then, to step in, to act.” She said slowly, considering. “You helped me make up my mind.”

 

Ikuko was silent during the whole exchange, and so was Mamoru. She could see his hands trembling, and his lower lip. She knew fear when she saw it, and her heart went out to him. The poor boy… what horrors did he see in his life, on top of having been left behind alone… But...

 

Kenji inhaled sharply at Usagi’s remark. “Did you know he was…” He trailed off.

 

“Tuxedo Mask?” Mamoru supplied, in the quietest of voices, and Kenji nodded.

 

“I didn’t when I made the decision, no. But I did before I became Sailor Moon.” Usagi said, her voice gaining confidence.

 

Kenji frowned. “Did he… drag you into this?”

 

Mamoru’s hand flew into his hair and he took a shuddering breath, and Ikuko would have smiled at him to reassure him if she’d remember how to do so in this moment… but she didn’t.

 

Usagi though glared hard at her father. “No.” She said, with a sure voice, and an edge to it. “It was my own decision. He was against it. He begged me on his knees not to fight but I do.” She said, and Ikuko suddenly remembered that night a while ago, just after the two of them got together, when Mamoru had been so angry with her, and Usagi had said almost the same thing. She sighed, and wondered if she’d reacted differently back then, harsher, if she had known like she did now what that fight must have been about…

 

Kenji sighed, and rubbed his hands over his eyes.

 

“Papa… what you must understand is this.” Usagi started. “I have had these powers all my life. That time Naru got attacked? That Cardian didn’t disappear like I told you guys back then. I _killed_ it. I was in this from the start. And I would have gone and continued, having had no idea how to control it or go about it, I would have flung myself in it directly had there not been this handy excuse to chicken out because there was a local superhero already fighting these things.” She stopped for a moment, Kenji had started pacing, and she had to put a hand on Mamoru’s knee, because he was fidgeting so hard it was making everyone even more nervous.

 

“Tuxedo Mask isn’t why I’m doing this. If anything, he’s been the one thing _keeping_ me from doing this. If it hadn’t been for him I’d be doing this _longer_. But untrained, unfocused, and I probably would have died in the process without him around to protect me.” She said, very slowly, and both Mamoru and Kenji expelled breaths that were shaky.

 

“He hates this too, seeing me fight.” She said, looking over towards Mamoru and his slumped shoulders.

 

Mamoru looked up then. He had tears in his eyes and he was looking at her, not her husband. “Believe me, I hate having her in this fight as much as you do” He whispered, and Ikuko believed him.

 

Silence fell over the room again, an awkward one, and after a while Usagi started talking again. “It’s not that bad, really. I’ve gotten really good, it’s not so dangerous as it looks…” She said, cringing, and Mamoru flinched.

 

Kenji glared at her then, and bent over to the shelf behind him, reaching for a stack of his own newspapers, and leafed through it for a moment, then dropped one of them in front of Usagi.

 

Usagi flinched away from the picture it held, but of course she knew it. Ikuko blanched upon seeing it. It held an image of Tuxedo Mask –no, _Mamoru_ , - his front completely covered in his own blood, a huge gash in his side, bitten off, a big headwound dripping blood into his face. A picture from months ago, back when it was just him and Sailor Moon hadn’t been around.

 

Kenji hissed. “Don’t tell me this isn’t dangerous what you’re doing. I’ve seen you both lose control in this situation. I’ve been _there_. ”

 

Usagi bit her lip. And waited to talk for a moment. “You’ve seen all these wounds in these pictures. Have you ever seen one on me?”

 

Kenji blinked, and so did Ikuko. She hadn’t, of course. Not even a scratch. Just like today. How could this be?

 

“We’re not fighting blindly, Papa. We have powers, you know we do. It’s my fight and I will fight it, whatever you say, whatever you do. If you kick me out, I will fight. If I stay, I will fight.” Usagi said, her voice almost angry.

 

Ikuko hiccupped when Usagi mentioned the possibility of being kicked out. As if they’d do that. As if she ever could… Her baby.

 

Now that she knew in what danger she was all the time, Ikuko felt the need to mother her and keep her as close as possible, forever and ever, not the opposite… And the thought worried her that her daughter would even think of it.

 

“But why.” Kenji asked, almost begging. “Why must you do this? Both of you.”

 

 

Usagi frowned. “Papa… it was you who said it to me… That those with the power to fight these things have a _responsibility_ to act when they can…”

 

He blanched, remembering. “But I didn’t know _you_ ’d—“

 

Her eyes softened. Her father stilled.

 

“We’re protecting this city. Because we’re the only ones who can. I want this, Papa. I want to save everyone and I can.” Usagi smiled then, warmly. Reassuringly, and Kenji let out another sob, sitting down again.

 

Ikuko looked at her daughter then. She looked so serene, so confident. Ikuko was terrified, but in this moment she also realized something else.

 

She was proud. She was proud of this amazing, wonderful person, with that big heart and that loving soul, this person who loved everyone so much she wanted to protect them.

 

Her hand flew to her mouth and a sob escaped her own lips.

 

“Where do these… How do you _have_ these powers?” Ikuko guessed his reporter habits came through now, asking these questions.

 

Mamoru and Usagi looked at each other, and she shrugged. It was Mamoru who answered.

 

“We’re not sure actually. We just do… we only have theories… Very crazy sounding ones…” Mamoru said in his unsure voice.

 

And Ikuko frowned, hard, but Kenji nodded.

 

His demeanor had changed, and Ikuko recognized it. It was the posture he held when he accepted things he had no influence over, when he gave in. She hadn’t even realized she had been waiting for it, didn’t think she’d be so relieved herself when seeing it, but she was.

 

She knew her baby would do this, no matter what. She knew it because this was the person they had tried to raise her to be. They would have to stand behind her, help her in any way they can.

 

Usagi obviously recognized her father’s posture as well, because she flew from the couch and into Kenji’s arms.

 

He hugged her hard, picked her up from the floor and buried his head into her shoulder, her feet dangling off the ground. Kenji sobbed again, only once, but then he let her go and Usagi beamed up at him.

 

Kenji had to chuckle through his tears, and Ikuko did as well. Their daughter’s smile could do that.

 

Kenji then turned to Mamoru and started to talk, and Ikuko was so relieved he obviously shared her opinion. “Let me make this clear. We will help in any way we can from now on. I will research for you, you have an entire newspaper team at your back now.”

 

Mamoru’s head whipped around to Usagi, and then Ikuko. Obviously events were unfolding in a very different way than he had expected this conversation to go.

 

“Papa…” Usagi said, shaking her head in wonderment…. “That… would help so much actually.”

 

“What do you know, where do I start.” Kenji said, and started to pace again.

 

Mamoru swallowed. “Well, we don’t know _any_ thing about these Cardians, really. We’re flying blind. We have no contact to the police either, because we were too afraid they’d find out who we were…Anything would help I guess.”

 

Kenji started rattling off options then, going into work-mode. Ikuko knew of course that this was what he always did in moments of crisis; he tried to keep his head and rationale and work the problems through.

 

And he did. Usagi and Mamoru, judging by the looks of them, were pretty much run over by all of Kenji’s plans, and pretty much still in shock themselves. Kenji told them he would contact the police, would set up a way so he would channel their information through himself, so Usagi and Mamoru wouldn’t be in danger of compromising their identities (Usagi had beamed, saying something about a Commissioner Gordon that none of them understood), and that he even had one better: They were currently preparing a story on the research facility that studied the Cardian samples to find out who they were and what they did. He would go there tomorrow, he’d do the interviews with the researchers himself even, so no information would be lost.

 

They kept talking for hours, well into the night, making plans, sharing stories and problems, admitting to theories that made them unsure (that they really did think her powers came from the moon, for instance, yet Ikuko had the feeling there was something they didn’t say and it made Ikuko catch her breath because it sounded so familiar), and she could feel Mamoru relaxing, the anxiety leaving his shoulders, his voice getting stronger.

 

Ikuko was pretty sure he’d thought this had been it, that he’d be expelled from this house, never to be allowed back in. And she had to admit for a moment there she as well had had the urge to rip her daughter away, lock her up, keep her safe. But she knew, so deeply, what her daughter was like, and she saw also that Mamoru was not only the man who treated her best, he was also someone who not only _would_ keep her safe when she’d run off into danger, he was perhaps the only one who _could_.

 

Ikuko _needed_ Mamoru in Usagi’s life. He would not be going anywhere.

 

And when Kenji’s almost monologue-like action planning had finally trickled to a stop, he’d turned to Mamoru, with a serious expression that made the boy freeze again, just a little.

 

“Promise me you will protect her.” Kenji said.

 

And Mamoru whispered back “With my life.”

 

Kenji grimaced, but then nodded, and then even smiled, even when it was a sad one. “Go up you two, Ikuko and I have things to talk about now.”

 

They both nodded dutifully and got up.

 

Ikuko frowned, looking after them. “Wait.” She said, and they stopped.  “I need to show you something.”

 

She got up and knelt in front of the big shelf that lined the wall, pulling out the bottom drawer. It was filled with CDs, all of them had hand-written labels. “You said you don’t really know where these powers come from. Only theories?”

 

They looked at each other, confused, and then just mutely nodded at her.

 

“I think I can help with that…” Ikuko said, and then dumped a heavy stack of CDs in front of them. All of them labeled “Usagi, Age Zero to Two”

 

“You know how we have so many tapes of you?” Usagi nodded, and Ikuko popped one CD in the Blu-Ray player, then pushed a button on the remote. She turned to Mamoru to explain. “Usagi’s birth was so hard and she’d almost died so she was our miracle child and we held a camera in her face for everything she did.” She pressed play and you could see an incredibly small infant in Ikuko’s younger arms. Eh, no. wrong CD…  (Yeah, they had her first tummy ache on tape. She was four days old and farted all throughout the video and you could see her younger self and Kenji giggling all the way  through it…) She chuckled, Usagi rolled her eyes and she changed CDs. At least it had lightened the mood, she guessed.

 

She rummaged through the stack again but continued talking, as both Mamoru and Usagi still seemed quite confused about what was going on here. “Anyway… you know how kids sometimes either talk or walk early but never both? Usagi-chan _talked_. At barely over a year old she spun long and elaborate and _loud_ tales, yet stumbled around like a motorically disabled thing forever.” Ikuko said, and plucked a CD out of its case.

 

Mamoru chuckled. “Nothing’s changed then, I guess?” and Usagi jabbed him in the ribs with a loud _‘Hey!_ ’ but smiled, glad, also, quite obviously, that he could smile again.

 

 The picture flicked on with a tiny bit of static and there was little Usagi, tiny, her blonde her up in pigtails that stood up wide from her head, and she wore an adorably fluffy white cardigan with bunny ears. Mamoru had to swallow a bit, as this might just be the cutest thing he’d ever seen. (“She’s almost 2 there, not enough hair for the buns yet” Ikuko whispered as an explanation.)

 

She paused the video, because Mamoru held up his arm with a ‘Wait! Wait!’.

 

He pointed at Usagi in the video, looked back and forth between her and baby-her. “I _know_ you!” He said.

 

She frowned at him, cocking an eyebrow, “Um, _yes_ you _do_? What—“

 

No, he shook his head. “I meant I know little you. You were a little older but… I’ve seen you before!” He looked at her wonderingly. “At the hospital after my accident. You gave me a rose!”

 

Kenji frowned next to her. “Um, where was this?”

 

“Sanno Hospital, Minato. I stayed in their neurological ward for about three months when I was six, August through October.”

 

Kenji’s brow furrowed. “That’s when Shingo was born.”

 

Right. Ikuko glared at Kenji. She remembered that.  “Uh-huh. I remember that. The time my husband lost my precious baby girl in a hospital. “

 

Kenji gulped and Ikuko shook her head, and pressed play again.

 

Ikuko, a younger Ikuko in a white blouse and full blue skirt sat down by her daughter and looked into the camera, encouraging little Usagi to do the same but she didn’t listen and kept smashing her crayons clumsily onto a piece of paper, little cardigan bunny ears flopping with every jerky movement.

 

“Usagi-chan, will you tell me of your dream again, hm?”

 

She looked up with a tiny face and giant blue twinkling eyes and shouted “ _O-keee Momma_ ” in such a cute little voice Mamoru felt his throat constrict and Usagi giggled beside him. “I was cute, wasn’t I?” She cocked her head at the screen and Mamoru could only nod mutely.

 

But little Usagi didn’t start to talk, so Ikuko tried to coach it out of her again. “So who were you in this dream, honeycakes?”

 

Usagi beamed back up towards the camera, and with little pudgy fists that she pushed up excitedly over her head she started to giggle – Mamoru melted a little –  and said “I’m a _PRIN_ -CESS!”

 

“But it’s not a _dreeem, it’s TRU_!” She shouted excitedly at the camera. Ikuko, next to her, touched her daughter’s hair and winked at the camera, and the picture started to shake a little – the person manning the camera – Mamoru guessed it’s Kenji – was laughing.

 

“And where are you from, my little moonchild?”

 

“From the MOON!” Usagi yelled and jumped up to her little feet and made a big circle around herself with her little arms.

 

Mamoru and Usagi looked at each other in confusion, and back at the screen.

 

And then little Usagi, as if a dam broke, began to babble. Ikuko next to them had to translate sometimes, as not everything little Usagi said was entirely understandable.

 

That she has friends, and they protect her. Their names are Sailor (little Usagi says “Sera”) Mars and Jupiter and Venus and Mercury and they are always with her, but there are even more Senshi and they make it be windy and silent and cold and even can make time go funny and her mother is the queen, and they rule over ‘ _aaallllllll’_ the solar system because the silver crystal protects them, and only the people from the moon can use the silver crystal and it’s powerful so everyone is nice to each other because of it.

 

Usagi and Mamoru look back at each other, startled, at all of this. At the mention of the crystal, the Sailor Senshi, everything.

 

“But then the people of the Earth became very angry and an evil queen wanted to steal Endymion from me. And they were so mad that they came to the moon and … “

 

Little Usagi stopped there and started to cry and Ikuko held her. “Shhh Usagi-chan.” She hushed her daughter, and exchanged a worried look with the person holding the camera. 

 

And  then they heard little Usagi say, “That’s not my name.”, sniffling. “Oh?” Ikuko said, “What is your name, my little moonchild?”

 

“Serenity.”

 

The image flickered to a stop. Everyone was silent for a little while.

 

Usagi pressed her hands to her temple, elbows in the air. “Why… why didn’t you ever say anything about this? I don’t know anything about this.”

 

“I tell you all the time how you used to dance in the moonlight and kept saying it protected you!” Ikuko protested.

 

“But… but not like this…”

 

Ikuko sighed. “Frankly, honey, I didn’t think anything of it... Kids have imaginary friends all the time. I thought it rather adorable that mine had an entire imaginary _kingdom_. … And it wasn’t this story for very long, either. You talked about imaginary things all the time, you kept switching!” Ikuko gesticulated wildly with her hands. “You had an imaginary talking cat that you named Luna for a few weeks. And that time you kept dreaming of a white magical flying Pegasus…. There were _all_ nonsense, I didn’t think this could be any different.”

 

“But.. but … I was reciting the planets! How would I have known that?” Usagi shook her head wildly.

 

It was Kenji who answered this time. “You had a little mobile of the planetary system in your room. We bought you all kinds of planetary and moon and bunny themed things, as the sight of the moon always calmed you down so much—

 

And Ikuko took over ”– we had to recite the names of the planets and the moon in sing song as the words calmed you down so quickly. We thought you were incorporating your new knowledge really creatively…”

 

Mamoru put his hands to his mouth, shaking his head, and Usagi looked at him wide-eyed, then turned back to Ikuko. “Mama… can we have these?”

 

“Of course…”

 

 

 

L

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’d love to hear what you thought of this!^^


	24. Ikigai Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, managed three updates again this week, woop woop!
> 
> I’m not making promises for next week though xD

 

L

 

They found themselves sitting crouched over Mamoru’s laptop, sprawled on the tatami mats in Rei’s room, going through hours upon hours of Baby-Usagi video material.

 

They’d split the videos up – Usagi and Mamoru went through one third of the stack together (Usagi didn’t wanna go through this alone, she found it too spooky, she’d said), Rei had another piled on her bed on which she lay, with laptop on her lap. Only her legs dangled out in front of the screen in their view of her from the floor, giant red sound-muffling headphones peeking out from behind the screen.

 

A third stack was waiting on the coffee table, waiting for Makoto who was to join them after her gardening and martial arts clubs at school.

 

She didn’t get this, any of this. It was crazy to her that in the end, after working through this so much and researching all they could on their theory, the person with all the information would end up being herself. Her little self, granted, but she didn’t understand why she couldn’t remember this, even when she knew herself that these dreams were her oldest memories.

 

Rei and Mamoru hadn’t been as disbelieving. Had proceeded to rain countless information on her – how babies dreamed more intensely than adults did, and it should be logical that kids could draw more information from a dream, or that, if one chose to believe in reincarnation (which they all admitted to do now, obviously), shouldn’t it be intuitively right that a small child, untainted with new sets of memories, should recall old ones better, as in some weird sense they were still ‘fresher’?

 

And really, the information they’d gotten from this already was mind-numbing. They’d been able to patch together the anatomy of a war between Moon and Earth, of an evil corrupting power that had been sealed by her dying mother. Of a wedding ceremony conducted in secret, in a holy place little Usagi had called Elysion, which had started this war.

 

And of her guardians. The Sailor Senshi, sworn to her from the day of her birth, next to her, guiding her and raising her, all her life. Their powers and personalities, and the ways they had tried to keep her safe, tried to keep her away from Earth and from him  –  to save her life.

 

Rei had needed only half a sentence of Baby Usagi starting to talk of a Sailor Mars and she had paused the video (the second one they’d watched this day, still together with Rei, before they’d divided them all), looked up at them and declared. “That’s me.”

 

And well, from what they’ve seen so far, Makoto was most probably Sailor Jupiter. None of them had said so out loud, though, yet all of them kept exchanging CDs in Makoto’s stack – take a random one out, put one in with large portions of Sailor-Jupiter mentioning that they’d already viewed.

 

That still didn’t solve their problem of a transformation for them though, and Baby Usagi hadn’t supplied a solution to that problem yet either, though they kept looking.

 

They’d gone through several hypotheses already though. (“Maybe only you can conjure up mediums, Usagi? Maybe it’s the power of the lunarians that does it or something?”) Though that had brought them nowhere, as Usagi had no clue how to do that and instead nudged her boyfriends towards Rei, he’d been the one she’d conjured _hers_ up with after all. (“There, try _him_. Magic hands.” And he’d turned to her with a mock-appalled lock. “Are you herding me off to be touched by other women now?” and she’d rolled her eyes at him saying Rei wasn’t other women), which had turned into a small argument over whom is was of both of them that had made her brooch happen in the first place. (“But you gave me _my_ transformation with that hands of yours, why not hers too.” – “I didn’t _give_ you your transformation, _you_ did that, you pulled something out of me, I can’t do that!” – “Well you could _try_ …”)

 

Needless to say, he did try, of course, but their powers – his and Rei’s – really weren’t compatible at all, she couldn’t feel what he was doing obviously, and he couldn’t go any deeper into her consciousness than he could with any other person in the world besides Usagi, and frankly, it felt weird to him.

 

So they were back to looking over the video material, Mamoru was taking notes studiously in his crazy neat hand-writing, and Baby Usagi was telling them about how ‘Venus’ was always so mad at her for sneaking off to Earth to see Endymion and proceeded to pout at Ikuko asking if she would let her see Endymion any time she wanted though? Ikuko had had a hard time calming Baby Usagi down then afterwards when Ikuko finally had to admit that there was really no Endymion. “But there _is_!” Baby Usagi had cried, hiccupping.

 

Mamoru had to blink through it, several times. This was pretty much sensory overload for him as well – of cuteness, of information, of wonderment – and in between that chill that kept running up both their spines of hearing a toddler describe a genocide.

 

“And you really don’t remember anything of this?”

 

Usagi’s lips curled and she pressed them together. “Nothing.” She sighed. “… well, not _nothing_. Now that I’m watching all these I do remember my imaginary talking cat. I loved her. Those were the best dreams.”

 

He chuckled. “Of course you’d only remember the unimportant bits. Of course.”

 

She glowered at him, yet playful. “Right. Go ahead. Make fun of my imaginary friends.”

 

He laughed and hung his head in surrender. “Really. You don’t need to be ashamed.” He grinned at her.  “I had an imaginary friend too, you know?”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yeah. Mine was a little green alien boy who was as lonely as me. I had him just after my parents died…” He admitted, a self-conscious smile playing around his lips and her eyes lit up and she made little _‘Awww’_ noises at him to which he rolled his eyes and nudged her, then resolutely turned back to his notes and the screen.

 

Baby Usagi had stubbed her toe at absolutely nothing and Ikuko had to comfort her, which she then managed by cuddling up a small little powdery-colored plush rabbit – one he remembered still sat on top of her vanity today – into her little face and Baby Usagi giggled delightedly. It was so adorable he had a really hard time watching with a straight face.

 

He swallowed, shaking his head slowly. “You were awfully cute you know. I can’t really even look at these….”

 

She giggled, and it wasn’t very unlike the little giggle Baby Usagi was doing in the screen.

 

“Um,...”He looked over at her suddenly, blushed and murmured, and glanced at Rei for a moment to check if she still had her headphones on and wasn’t listening – she wasn’t. “Just saying but…” He scrunched his eyes shut and cleared his throat, and blushed so hard Usagi was getting extremely confused (and amused) by it.  “Um… If you ever want kids… like in the future, I’d be all for it…” He mumbled and her head whipped up and she looked at him bewildered. “Just saying…”

 

 

L

 

 

Ami scrolled back through the Email she’d received this morning.

 

Interviewer: Tsukino Kenji

Newspaper: Asahi Shimbun, Toyko branch.

 

But what an editor wanted to do interviewing her himself she had no idea. And frankly, she was a bit nervous. She’d been interviewed before, of course, even for television – but it had always been for a scientific audience, usually about her papers, and never for the public audience.

 

This though, background research on the Cardians – this was big, obviously. Why Professor Tomoe had chosen her to be the spokesperson of the project she didn’t know. Maybe it was to showcase the school  - she was the star student after all, it would make sense to get more publicity and funding through showcasing the prodigy.

 

She did feel confident to be the best person to know about the research, though, obviously – just not the most confident one talking. Maybe Professor Tomoe should have rather chosen Viluy-san for the job. She had been more eager to do it, anyway.

 

At 6pm sharp, just the time they’d arranged, she twitched a bit at the sharp and confident knock at her door. She jumped up, smoothed over her lab-coat that hid her school uniform only partially, and opened the door with a timid smile.

 

The older man – dark haired, glasses, very friendly smile, in a suit – blinked at her for a moment and then caught himself. “I’m looking for a Mizuno Ami. That is you, I assume?”

 

Ami nodded and he smiled and bowed. “Thank you for making time for me, Mizuno-san. I must admit, I had actually assumed my colleagues had made a mistake in the memo regarding your age, I’m a bit surprised to see they must be right after all…”

 

Ami blushed. “I don’t blame you for the confusion, Tsukino-san. I am the youngest person to run a research project on this scale after all. But it is small compared to the other research conducted at Infinity.”

 

She saw Tsukino-san’s eyes widen. “You _run_ the project?”

 

Ami blushed further. “I am head-researcher for the Cardian Project, yes. I’ve been chosen several weeks ago among us.”

 

He blinked, then looked back at his memo pad with a dumbfounded expression. “At _16_?” and blinked again, then shook his head. “Well, then I guess you must be all they say you are.” He said, and Ami could see it was meant appreciatively and it made her flush more.

 

Tsukino-san got right into it then. He unpacked a small rectangular voice recorder and pushed the button and they began. He’d done his research – he was on top of all their official statements and their cooperation with the police, and he asked her about all of it, to the last details, yet all the way friendly and considerate – he probably noticed her nervousness and that’s why he was so patient with her, she thought, reassuring her that he had all the time in the world and she could collect her thoughts all she wanted. 

 

And he had a lot of technical questions – about the biological host she had deducted from the Cardian fog, about its power to live off emotion. This, Tsukino-san had what seemed like thousands of questions to, and he made notes even though he was taping the whole conversation, to understand her arguments further. It was very endearing to her how invested he seemed in it. And he asked about her work trying to discern patterns for the attacks, to predict when they would come – even though she was most nervous about this very aspect – the pattern had been irregular lately and didn’t add up to the previous data. They attacked in new, untypical places in times there shouldn’t have been an attack according to her data. But there was…

 

Then a bit more about the nature of the research conducted at Infinity over all, that it was specified for research on biological, cosmological and genetic  samples in general, as well as bio-engineering as its overall frontier, and what they hoped to achieve with the research on the Cardians.

 

Ami nodded thoughtfully when he asked that last question. “If you want to hear why Infinity is interested – it is for studying extraterrestrial biology. They hope to venture further in bioengineering through the new viewpoint, and I can assure you it is a goldmine. Cardian biology functions very differently from our own and it is very insightful. I, for one though, am invested because I hope my research might lead to answers on how to best oppose these creatures, so no other people may be harmed.”

 

She was a bit surprised how much Tsukino-san’s eyes lit up, how warm his smile grew when she said this, and he nodded, and thanked her profusely for all the information, turned off the recorder and started to pack his things back into his briefcase.

 

She watched him carefully, and then got the nerve to address him again in a timid voice. She was curious, but she didn’t want to snoop into something that might be a private matter. “Tsukino-san, may I ask a question of my own?”

 

But his eyes stayed bright and friendly. “Of course! Anything.”

 

Ami cleared her throat, and started talking in her small voice. “Why did you do this interview yourself? If I understand it right you’re the supporting editor-in-chief for the Tokyo issue? Wouldn’t a small interview like this rather fall to a reporter?”

 

He laughed. “You’re very observant, Mizuno-san.” And scratched his head sheepishly. “Let’s say I’m trying to do my part in this, as well.”

 

It seemed she had looked a bit confused, because he obviously seemed the need to explain himself.

 

He paused momentarily before he spoke, looking aimlessly around her dingy little lab and the probes on her desk. “My daughter recently taught me how very brave it is to step in when one feels they have the ability to do so and act. I’ve always believed before that it was simply given that someone who could would do so, because in my head it was their responsibility.” He said, slowly, deliberately choosing his wording, or so it seemed and Ami had to start a bit at that, and glanced down at her own hands.

 

Tsukino-san coughed a little, and then cringed, as if he felt embarrassed to admit to a former fault in himself, and she guessed he was. “Like Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Moon. I hadn’t realized before how noble it was that they would do so, what a sacrifice... That they are also just…er,… people, so brave to do what they do… I feel humbled by it, and I know if there is any way for me to contribute to aid in this, er…,  problem, I will do it with every last of my abilities. And _my_ ability happens to be asking good questions, and to poke in the right spots.” He trailed off with a smile and got up from the chair she had provided him.

 

She stood up as well, making to escort this friendly man the two steps to the door. She was a bit rattled by what he had just said. It made her ponder.

 

“Your daughter taught you this?” She said when they were at the door.

 

He nodded and smiled.

 

“She’s very wise, your daughter. You’re very lucky.”

 

He laughed whole-heartedly, and she started a bit. “I’m sorry, it’s just very strange to have a genius prodigy like you call my little Usagi wise. But I do guess you’re right. She can be very wise sometimes.” He said, his words laced with little chuckles. “Well, thank you for the interview Mizuno-san. May I be so bold to contact you again if I have further questions on this?”

 

She nodded vehemently, saying she will help in any way she can and of course he could contact her again, and then he was gone.

 

She frowned. She could help in _any way_ she can….

 

She walked back to her desk and let herself down carefully, then turned to look at her drawer, the one that held her crystals, thoughtfully.

 

She’d never thought about it in terms like this before… She’d never considered the possibility that she and her strange powers could be useful for anything else than seeking the knowledge needed to understand – for research, for information, for knowledge, plain and simple. It was the first time that it occurred to Ami that her powers to control water and ice might be useful to aid in this fight. That she could do more than provide the information…

 

Information that might prove fruitful. It was crazy, yes, but she knew, deep down, the laws of the Senshi, even if she had no clue as where this knowledge came from… She’d viewed all this information before like a historian would. She documented it, fail-proofed it, saved it – but she didn’t use it… But maybe she could. Maybe she might be able to weaponize her powers.

 

These sets of knowledge that she had, so random and vast, could indeed be useful. She could see that now…

 

Ami knew, like breathing and walking, the laws of science. Of physics, of math, the structure and logic of it. She knew why elements behaved the way they did, she knew how chemical compounds would behave in any given context, she knew of statics, and could do verifiable calculations in her head. But she also knew other things, random things that did not make sense for her to know. Ami knew how to construct a hand plough that could be used in flooded soil for sowing wheat, flax, lentils, figs and plums, and how to herd the goats across the fields to push seeds into the ground. She knew how to cut grain using a sickle, and how the flax was then made into linen cloth, and how naturally growing papyrus reeds were processed to make sandals, boats, baskets and paper.  
Ami also knew the conduct of a woman on a canton pirate ship, the code of laws all had to follow under a fleet's leadership, which goods were taken for group inspection and which were turned over to the public fund for the supply of the villagers. Or that she knew how to make healing potions out of plants that have been long forgotten. 

 

All of them such specific sets of knowledge as if taken out of time.  


And Ami knew the laws of the Senshi, about intergalactic transmissions, about societal customary conduct on planets that today have no habitable surface.

 

She didn’t remember anything; there were no specific memories, no memories at all, only knowledge. But she did know that there were only a few possible explanations for how she knew these things… the possibility of a joint, universal conscience could be ruled out by the fact that she had only very specific, and not all-knowing sets of knowledge; Astral projections across time would not be able to explain how she would have knowledge of hard labor, as that would not have been a tangible experience…

 

Which left one explanation and one only: That there was something like reincarnation. That she has lived and died in all these places before, all of her, with all her abilities, down to her very DNA.

 

And everywhere she’d had these abilities. To master ice and water, to make crystalline patterns – ones she could now find strewn all over the world.

 

She exhaled slowly, and concentrated. She concentrated on the molecules in the air – everything from the oxygen to the specs of dust, and first poured nitrogen in it – the element she had the most control over – but then also other elements, traces of metals and ash that she pulled from the air, irons and salts from her blood, then shaped and arranged them in structures, forming crystal lattices, growing, solidifying them how she wanted, and at the last instant, added an icy core, and tried to pour everything that was her in it. Memories, power, her essence as she felt it.

 

She closed her eyes, squeezing them shut, and when she opened them again she held a crystal in her hand, the most beautiful she’d ever made, like the most precious jewel. It was flat but tear-shaped, small but heavy, deep blue and clear, and it shined in all directions, yet its core seemed fluid, foggy, moving, and just a tiny bit alive with power.

 

 

L

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, no Venus yet, but I promise I’m not forgetting her (and I’ve even written all her scenes already, she’s there, I swear xD)
> 
> We’re approaching the finish line very fast, though^^ - 4 more chapters!
> 
> Let me know what you’re thinking!


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit longer again, but the next one coming will be a bit shorter. Just so you’re prepared ^^

 

L

 

 

Makoto was nervous. They didn’t need to look at her to see it, they need only look outside. The weather kept changing, as if it couldn’t make up its mind what it wanted to be. Little islands of blue skies surrounded by heavy clouds, a spark of lightning here and there only to clear up again and start anew.

 

They’d found themselves on a train out of town – after a few attempts of training Makoto at the Hikawa shrine Rei had very soon decided that it wouldn’t do to drench her home in monsoons while Makoto couldn’t control it, and they’d decided to move their training into the mountains for the weekend. It had been a tough decision to make – usually Rei could sense an attack happen way before so they’d have enough time to come back, yet especially during the last days they’d always been very unpredictable, so they were taking a risk with leaving town.

 

They took the Odakyu limited express train from Shinjuku to Hakone-Yumoto. (The train was called "Romancecar" - Usagi's eyes lit up at that with a beam towards Mamoru and Rei glared at her something fierce in answer saying "no please god no don't even think about it" to which Usagi only grumbled with a pout), then took a bus to the very outskirts of the little picturesque mountain town only to hike up a further hour into them until they reached their accommodation.

 

It was beautiful up there. It was so easy sometimes, with them living smack in the middle of the biggest metropolitan area in the world, to forget how beautiful nature was. Especially the Japanese mountain region, and especially in autumn, with the trees so colorful; red, yellow, golden, and the nature just only still so very much alive with squirrels hopping, birds flapping, the sound of crickets stridulating, water rushing along little streams with little bridges that had been built over them.

 

Kenji had booked them this private little hut in the middle of nowhere just outside of Hakone and if it hadn’t been for Usagi’s heavy protest that they could just take the train he’d driven them there, too. (In fact, Kenji had thrown himself headfirst into research for them, as well, everything from ways to train them better to the reports he’d gotten from that very young head researcher at Infinity– it was helping immensely, and it amazed them – especially how very accurate that girl’s warning system was without even her knowing and Kenji had vowed to establish a standing contact to the girl.)As it was though, both Kenji and Ikuko kept calling them every other hour to check up on them during their stay and keeping them updated on any news from the police and hospitals if they were suspecting a new attack, and all of them – the Tsukinos as well as Mamoru and Usagi on the other end – freaking out every time reception gave out – they were in the mountains after all.

 

But so far, they’d spent a Saturday midday and evening training Makoto, a Saturday evening being gourmet-cooked  a three-course meal by Makoto who was obviously trying to make up for her guilty conscience of making them all sneeze by that point after having to stand in her weather all day (though Mamoru found Usagi damn cute in her raincoat and giant pink Wellies) and an early Sunday morning playing video games on that ancient Super Nintendo installed to that even more ancient tube-type TV set in their hut (Street Fighter II, the only game there was, still stuck in the machine –Rei kept winning, Mamoru was absolute rubbish at it). Makoto made them all breakfast while they were waiting for Usagi to finally manage to get up and showered and dressed for them to train anew – and throughout it all it had been quiet and peaceful in Tokyo meanwhile.

 

It gave them pause, especially Mamoru. The last few days had been heavy on very random, very out of place attacks. The Cardians were always on the weaker side, and never out to actually steal a lot of energy – but they kept looking for something, which Usagi (and Rei, too, by now) still swore must be him, yet they didn’t react to Tuxedo Mask at all. It was weird though – on Monday a Cardian had attacked near his apartment complex _again_ , Tuesday there had been two attacks on the same day, one of them on his university grounds, another by the arcade. On Wednesday another, just in front of their supermarket that Usagi and him were shopping in for Ikuko at the time. All of them places he frequented, yet he was never their desired target. It was _strange_.

 

And now, once there were gone out of town– peaceful.

 

They’d trudged back up the mountain, about half an hour away from the hut as not to destroy anything. Usagi had complained all the way about not having got to play Super Nintendo with them and having had to rush breakfast, which got only worse every time Rei said it was her fault for not getting out of bed.  Mamoru had to bite his lip from time to time not to grin like a happy fool – the whole thing – spending a weekend away with friends that felt more like family – was the kind of thing he hadn’t even dared to dream about in the orphanage.

 

It was so perfect, so normal, so exactly what he’d always wished for.

 

Well – normal was up for discussion, though. There _were_ trudging up a mountain to teach a girl with superhuman strength to wield her lightning powers.

 

Makoto could with heavy concentration conjure up one type of weather now, keep the storm from coming all at once – only rain or only lightening, when concentration slipped though it was mostly just her mood, and when she didn’t have her emotions under control it stormed like the world was going under.

 

On their second day now, they’d already fallen into a routine: Get Makoto worked up and upset and angry until the storm arrived and then try to calm her down so she could control it.

 

The upsetting usually involved calling upon some pretty raw feelings, talking of old wounds, or that one time simply seeing Usagi accidently slip and fall down the side of their trail and down through the trees – nothing had happened of course; Usagi was a tough girl, and the few scratches were healed by Mamoru in the blink of an eye, nonetheless the storm came on in answer as if called and they’d all – Rei, Makoto and Mamoru – had a giant fright.

 

Most of the teaching was left to Rei, some to Mamoru. Rei had, of course, that eerie sense of what was right and what had to be, which helped Mamoru and Usagi in their training usually, and added on top of that her knowledge of meditation and focusing. This was then the one part Mamoru could most effectively link himself in – he could of course tell by her emotions, her heartbeat, the spikes of adrenaline, when the calming didn’t work and could give hints. Also – Makoto struggled most with controlling her emotions once the storm got brewing. It overpowered her, and she had no reign over it, which was exactly why she couldn’t direct it pretty much at all. So Mamoru focused all of his ability, touched her arm when the storm was at its height, and tried to soothe and calm her turmoil.

 

It helped to a degree, but not enough for her to accomplish anything as difficult as aiming, and it frustrated Makoto. She wasn’t used to not being in control, she wasn’t used to be overpowered by anything, and so this was pretty difficult on her.

 

Especially because she’d never attempted to control it in the first place.

 

She’d told them, last night in front of their magnificent bonfire courtesy of Rei, that she hadn’t known she had these powers most her life. They came out by themselves, and they were stirred by her emotions – that much they’d gotten already, of course, yet it seemed logical to them, that obviously good moods turning to good weather weren’t as noticeable as heavy storms would be. So it had taken Makoto until the death of her parents – the first time in her life she had felt anguish, loss, heartbreak, terror, denial, sadness and all at once, to understand that it came from her. She’d thought at first that it had started only then when in truth she’d had it all along. The night of the plane crash it had started raining; storms that uprooted trees had lasted for days. Who could have known that this was Sailor Jupiter in her, her powers expelling through in raw emotion.

 

And it was exactly those feelings that, even though they were deeply buried, still overpowered her when they rushed from her so freely when she let it storm, let her emotions run wild and free, and caused her lack of control now. So they’d talked through the night – first about them – Sailor Senshi, Moon Princess, Golden Kingdom, Silver Millennium, everything they’d gotten out of the videos and what it all meant, and how mind-numbing and unbelievable and overpowering it all felt to each of them … and then about Makoto’s parents, about her loss, about the struggle afterwards, and how it hindered her control in her abilities – and this had been where Usagi shined, where only she could help where the others all struggled with knowing no solution to dealing with Makoto’s pain because they knew the loss all too well themselves and had known no way through it either…

 

So Usagi had talked the night through, speaking of hopes and dreams and how her parents would have wanted her to be happy, were so surely proud of her and she should carry that feeling of them with her everywhere, let it give her strength, keeping them close to her heart where they belonged, and how much she believed in her and loved them all, and together they would be strong, and keep each other together.

 

And today, knowing Usagi believed in her, letting the feeling of loss come to her but embrace it instead of fearing it – at least a little more – her control of the thunder came so much easier already. In a way, she even felt she wouldn’t be able to do this without knowing what such strong, raw emotion felt like. It didn’t justify her loss of course, but somehow at least something came out of it.

 

And so she slipped less, she could focus more.

 

Still, even though she felt she could control the intensity of the weather now by keeping her emotions in check, she also felt there was absolutely no way for her to aim.

 

They tried for hours again. Even Usagi was so patient it amazed her. They’d been up here at 9 o’clock, now it was past 4pm – they were to leave their hut around 7 to catch the train back to Tokyo at 9pm. So really, there wasn’t much time anymore for her to learn, at least not while they were here where she couldn’t accidently set fire to a house –they should all be getting anxious for her to improve herself and yet they weren’t. It calmed her.

 

They were about to call it a day – Mamoru especially, she felt, had been a little on edge since her thunder struck much too close to Usagi for any of their liking a while ago – when Makoto tried one last time.

 

It made a beautiful sinewy trail in the sky where Makoto had concentrated on it – so hard it had started raining again – and tried to bend it, but it didn’t move where she wanted it to, this time it didn’t even come down. She sighed, and so did the others.

 

They turned to go, but Usagi kept standing rooted to the spot, her face angled up into the rain, frowning at the sky where the lightening had just been. “Um… guys?” She called back and they turned back to her. “Silly question probably, but… Is there fire in lightning?”

 

Rei’s eyes widened and she told Makoto under her breath to do it again. Makoto went back to her previous spot and concentrated again, hard, and the rain came a little faster, wind shaking through trees, shaking the red leafs.

 

 This time, while Makoto made it rumble and flash, Rei concentrated her own powers, trying to search out a spark in Makoto’s brilliant shocks of white --- and found one. Rei concentrated like she never had before, and with the flow of her hands the lightning bolt bent – and struck exactly where they’d tried to aim these past two days: the dead tree trunk in the middle of the stream ahead of them.

 

Usagi jumped a bit (She would never get used to thunder and lightning, however often they’d be doing this) and after a small shocked pause Makoto and Rei looked at each other with wide eyes and erupted into cheers. Makoto was giggling with joy and even Rei laughed, a real laugh that came from the bottom of her and both of them flew towards Usagi, grappling her surprised form up in a group hug, jumping up and down.

 

Mamoru shook this head, scratched his temple, dumbstruck… that was such a brilliant idea…  that none of them had thought about that before…

 

Mamoru went into nerd-mode, excited, explaining the phenomenon – even though really only Makoto was even attempting to listen while she let it flash again and Rei proceeded in bending it (with some effort- but it worked); that fire really was a state of combustion in which matter – usually fuel – was ignited and combined with oxygen which resulted in flame, and that lightning was an electric spark of fiery discharge in the atmosphere between clouds, both of them linked due to their flow of energy – both miniscule eruptions of energy only really differing through their combination but which created two different sets of the same thing: Something that burned when struck.  He went on and on, and Usagi giggled and shrugged when Rei tried to get him to shut up, that they didn’t care about the physics behind it, they only cared that it worked, but he wasn’t phased at all and just went on talking; that they’re not the same by all means, but lightening once there could cause fires when it produced enough heat to get the chemical reaction going– and that this was what Rei was most probably using to temper with, and how brilliant it all was.  

 

They eventually got him to shut up (though it kept bubbling out of him here and there) and only after as little as an hour more, Rei and Makoto had developed a rhythm that worked perfectly.

 

It really was time to go though, they still needed to get back to the hut, pack their stuff, hike down and catch their bus back into town.

 

“Well...” Usagi said, hopping back across the stream that had gotten a bit bigger since they’d unleashed Makoto’s rains on it and onto the trail that led back through the woods. “Guess we only need someone to control water then to take care of Mako-chan’s rain, huh?”

 

They grew silent, all thinking the same – Makoto was pretty sure of that.

 

 Sailor Mercury... Just like Sailor Venus, Baby-Usagi had had lots to say about Sailor Mercury…

 

“Think we’ll find her, too?” Makoto asked, her boots splashing a bit on the muddy earth.

 

Rei frowned, and looked off into the distance. “I’m very sure we will…” She said, ominously. It was still a bit spooky to Makoto, the way Rei just… sensed things. And then she rolled her eyes, because Mamoru was back in nerd-mode, saying that really Mako’s rains would take care of themselves, because they really were only a side-effect of the thunder and once she had that fully under control there would not be any spontaneous rain anymore and then proceeded to explain that all some more in fancy words until Rei smacked him in the shoulder and he protested loudly…

 

They packed back up pretty fast – all except Usagi who had basically emptied the contents of her backpack all over the hut and now had trouble finding it all, while Mamoru called the Tsukinos to let them know they were on their way back and wiped down the counters and kitchen, trying to leave it all like they had found it, and Rei and Makoto rolled the futons back up and stowed them away.

 

They made it down into the little town in time and strolled back through Hakone with their backpacks towards the train station. It was the last station on the line, so it was already standing there when they arrived although it wouldn’t leave for a bit yet, thus they basically had free seating choice when they walked in – something they weren’t usually accustomed to being used to the Tokyo metro.

 

They took the last seats in the car, in the very back, Rei and Makoto in front, Usagi and Mamoru behind them – all of them a bit rueful to leave Hakone behind, vowing to try and do this again sometime, acknowledging how beautiful a town it really was.

 

“Also, when giant angelic aliens attack, we’ll be safe here and might just survive.” Usagi remarked, and thank god, this time at least Rei and Makoto chuckled, getting it. Not Mamoru though, and Usagi groaned. “Tokyo-3? Nerv? C’ _mon_ Mamo-chan. This has to stop. I’m making a list now.”

 

Rei snickered at him and Mamoru rolled his eyes, and Makoto basically fell asleep the minute the back of her head hit the plushy seat behind her – she was very Japanese in that way, and also pretty exhausted from all her training over the weekend.

 

Rei donned her giant red headphones again, listening to music, when the train slowly began to fill a bit more and finally rolled out of the station and towards Tokyo, and Mamoru unpacked his giant anatomy text book that he’d barely had any time to glance into over the weekend – Usagi, who had her head resting on his shoulder wrinkled her nose at the pictures in it and demanded his phone to occupy her time (her battery was low).

 

He handed it over without hesitation, and she even knew the pin to unlock it (she had a habit of forgetting to charge her phone overnight, so anytime it died and she got bored she’d use his –he was very much used to that), yet when she put her headphones in and he saw that she _wasn’t_ watching YouTube videos like she usually would he began to fidget. It got worse when he saw she had begun scrolling through his music. “What are you doing?!”

 

She looked at him a bit perplexed, finger stilling on the touch screen. “Looking for stuff to listen to?”

 

He blushed. She blinked, confused. “…unless you don’t want me to?”

 

He seemed to take a moment to consider, and his blush deepened, but he turned back to his book and mumbled “No, ‘s okay, go ahead.”

 

Usagi lowered his phone in her lap and looked at him curiously. “It’s okay… I won’t if you don’t want me to…” Then she held it back out to him, offering it back.

 

He cleared his throat and shook his head. “No… you can. It’s okay.”

 

She looked at him for another few beats, utterly confused on what would get him so flustered, and well, hadn’t she been so curious, she’d insisted and given him his phone back anyway, but if he _said_ it’s alright…

 

So she went back to scrolling through his music, this time glancing back up at him every few seconds for a reaction while he – very obviously flustered – pretended to be reading his textbook even though his eyes weren’t moving over the words.

 

At first glance his (gigantic) music collection was exactly what she’d have expected. Mostly classical music, lots of foreign music, a substantial amount of jazzy and bossa nova bits, all mostly very boring cause no J-Pop to be seen, but with the odd electronic song mixed in.

 

But on second look one thing stood out: He’d labeled every song – Mamoru’s music on his phone was not ordered by album or some other logical thing like the alphabet, instead he had labeled them all with emotions. And not any base emotions, of course –no, no – no ‘sad’ or ‘happy’ here – this was Mamoru after to all, so they were quite diverse ones ranging from ‘mellow library mood’, to ‘apprehension’, ‘anticipation’, or ‘intimidation’ to ‘last minute panic’.

 

  _It fits_ , she thought immediately, for him to categorize music by what most affected him in his life - emotion. His own and those of others, and a deep wave of affection for him washed over her that caught in her belly and stayed there and she beamed up at him for a second – he was blushing wildly - until she went back to scroll through his emotionally sorted music playlists.

 

One label - one emotion that he'd labeled - made her breath catch: The emotion that he had labeled simply "Usako"... she tapped on it and it was the fullest playlist of them all. And this one, she could see, was _very_ different from the others, very diverse, a mix of all genres, even J-Pop. And it wasn’t even new! Some of these songs, she saw, had been added to the list over a year ago. On it, she could pretty soon see when scrolling and playing and skipping through the titles was everything and anything from weirdly cheerful instrumental swing numbers to every song they'd ever danced to – even her favorite Taiko ni Tatsujin song was on there that she always forced him to play with her and that he claimed to hate... and a few other songs on there, that made her heart miss a beat.

 

She played through them, skipping through each song. She blushed wildly – matching his current skin color quite beautifully – when listening to the lyrics of Jason Mraz’s ‘Butterfly’ (even though she didn’t understand every word she got the gist of it) and started and looked up at him wide-eyed when ‘Marry You’ by Bruno Mars came up.

 

He shrugged, a bit helplessly, and she’d never found him more adorable.

 

 

 

L

 

 

He saw her sitting by herself on the step in front of their school building, alone. There were only very few students still trickling out of the building and Usagi was playing with her phone, glancing up to the school gates from time to time, probably waiting for Chiba.

 

Damn Chiba. He’d so counted on the weekend, after he’d so frustratingly managed to stay hidden from his Cardians all week – but Chiba had just been gone, god knows where.

 

He set his jaw, making up his mind and plopped himself down noisily, right next to her.

 

She jumped a bit, eyes widening. “Seijuro! Hi.”

 

“Chiba not picking you up today?” Even he could hear the annoyance in his voice when he said the name, and Usagi gave him a peculiar look.

 

“He’s running late, he needs to talk to his professor about some assignment.” She waved her phone as if it would explain everything.

 

They grew silent. He didn’t know where to start and she obviously not what to say to him, even though she was usually so chatty with everyone else. He scowled.

 

“What is it about him?” He said with a scowl.

 

She turned her head to look at him sideways and cocked her head. “What do you mean?”

 

“What is it that you like.” He said, looking her straight in the eye.

 

She smiled, the smile grew softer and softer and she turned it into the distance, then looked down at her clasped hands, eyelashes fluttering and cheeks blushing a rosy color. She looked so beautiful with that smile for Chiba he felt like choking. “Um… he’s really sensitive and vulnerable, but he doesn’t let anyone see that side of him, not because he’s ashamed of that side of him, but because he doesn’t need to bring it out there?... Um, that doesn’t make sense I guess, what I mean is…..I'm in awe of him, really... that he's so compassionate and considerate, although he had such a tough childhood, and how that didn’t make him vengeful or jealous and instead he wants to protect people from suffering what he himself endured...He cares so much and acts where no one else does just because he thinks it's right...” She trailed off, and turned back to him, sheepishly, one eye shut and her hand flew to her head, scratching her temple, but smile and blush firmly in place.

 

She looked so adorable he thought he might die from the longing he felt.

 

In the distance he could hear grunts and shouts – one of the sports clubs must have started their practice, and the wind rustled the trees. It was quiet, peaceful even.

 

He swallowed, and met her gaze. “I’m in love with you.”

 

Her smile fell. “I know you think that...” She looked back at her hands, and her shoulders slumped a bit. “I’m sorry.”

 

His eyes flared indignantly. “Think? I do!”

 

Usagi sighed, and looked at him sadly, empathically. “Seijuro… you don’t even know me…”

 

He knit his brows, his eyes not wavering from hers. “That doesn’t matter”

 

Usagi paused, cocked her head. “Well… why do you love me then?”

 

He blinked at her, taken aback. It took him a moment, and he looked around the deserted school grounds to organize his thoughts, but answered.

 

“You’re the single most beautiful being I have ever seen and your beauty inspires me. It makes me feel things I haven’t felt before. And I see the joy you give to others and I want that as well.” He stated, firmly.

 

Usagi nodded, and looked back into the distance. She knit her hands, and cleared her throat before she turned back to look at him. She looked apologetic, but kind.

 

She took a deep breath before she spoke. “You say you love me like I would say I love milkshakes or karaoke. Things that I enjoy, that give me something, mostly gratification, like that giddy feeling I have when shouting lyrics at the top of my lungs and my friends around...” She stopped to think for a moment, and he frowned at her.

 

“ In the end I don't really love milkshakes and karaoke, though. It’s just the word we falsely use, but the way these things make me feel is not about the milkshake and the karaoke at all but about myself and how they make me feel, I enjoy these things for what they give me.”  She was back to mumbling towards her kneading hands, her voice timid and small, as if she were sad she had to say them.

 

But she continued nonetheless. “You see... you don’t know me. You like how I look and the fuzzy feeling it gives you, but not really me...” She looked back at him.

 

Seijuro shook his head vehemently, preparing to protest, but Usagi held her hand up. She wasn’t done.

 

“I don't love Mamo-chan for what he can _give_ me... I would love Mamo-chan regardless of if he'd ever chosen to be with me. It’s not about what he gives me at all... maybe even the opposite. I know I love him _because_ I know I want to give _him_ anything he would ever want or need, because I want to make him happy, this wonderful person that he is...” She smiled warmly then – for Chiba again, of course – and his insides clenched in jealousy. “I want to help him make all his dreams come true, I want to give him the happiest memories I can, I want to comfort him and share his burdens, I want to protect him and give him a family and a home…”

 

She stopped again, and he was glad, momentarily, because he felt his insides clench at hearing about Chiba… Always, always, Chiba Mamoru. Always him.

 

Why him.

 

“Do you get what I mean?” Usagi asked tentatively. “It’s…It’s not about what _you_ get out of it, what it makes _you_ feel …Sure he also makes me feel so happy and loved because he’s wonderful to me… but that’s not why I know _I_ love _him_ , that’s how I know _he_ loves _me_ …” She smiled, full of sympathy. “So in the end, with that precious right person… you’ll get both. … But loving someone… it’s about what you want to _give_ that makes it love...” She trailed off then. “Do you understand?” She added, with wide and careful eyes.

 

His look hardened. How big could the thrall possibly be that this guy had her under… that he would make her give herself up for him in this way, giving all she had. It was the most unnatural thing he had ever heard. She didn’t even see that this wasn’t how the world worked, than no one in their right mind would think someone else were more important than your own happiness...

 

He wouldn’t be able to make her see with Chiba still in the picture, though. So instead he forced the furrow in his brow to smooth over and took a deep breath before saying. “I understand what you _mean_ to say.”

 

She smiled a satisfied little smile then, obviously thinking she’d gotten through to him with her blinded logic. Then her gaze skipped back towards the distance, as it had continuously done all throughout their conversation, and this time her eyes lit up while she did.

 

Seijuro followed her gaze, and sure enough, there was Chiba coming towards them, approaching the school grounds, lips pursing when his eyes met his own, yet eyeing him neutrally if reserved. He didn’t stop at the school gates then as he normally would every day, but kept walking.

 

Usagi didn’t notice the exchange between them, or if she did, she didn’t let on. Instead she hopped up from her perch on the step, and spoke with that usual happiness back in her voice. “I’ll go now, there he is…”  She turned to beam at her approaching boyfriend, then looked back at Seijuro with a smile and a friendly wave and then skipped the remaining distance between them towards Chiba and latched herself onto his side.

 

Chiba chuckled then, a sound that raised Seijuro’s hackles, and he put his hand onto her cheek and it lingered there for a second while he looked at her so intensely before he broke it to give her a small kiss in greeting even as they turned and walked off the school grounds, talking in low murmuring voices.

 

He was seething.

 

Chiba hadn’t even looked back at him, had proceeded to completely ignore him.

 

The way he looked at her… So deep and intense. Surely, surely, that’s how he did it. That’s how he kept her trapped and at his every whim.

 

  _Don’t worry, Usagi-chan_ , he thought. _I’ll deal with this. I’ll set you free from him._

 

He’d make sure himself this time.

 

He looked around himself, and satisfied to see there really was no one there anymore, he teleported away.

 

 

L

 

 

 

” – really think he’s just so lonely…” Usagi said.

 

He _hrmpf_ ed. No reason to confess to his girlfriend, he thought.

 

He held her hand a little tighter, having seen the possessive and angry look in Seijuro’s eyes just minutes ago. It irked him, not really because he was jealous – the whole world could confess to his Usako, and he knew it wouldn’t change a thing about them. He only became jealous when they looked at her in that certain way that he knew (and could _feel_ ) they were thinking things he didn’t want anybody to think about regarding her –, but rather because it worried him. It was vengeful, that look.

 

They were on their way back from her school towards Rei’s –on their schedule today was trying to create her weapon again while Makoto was still busy with her club activities – and stopped in front of ‘their’ usual Family Mart like they usually did to buy snacks on the way.

 

It was when they stepped into the small conbini and left the noises of the street and people behind the sliding doors that he felt something was wrong. It was too silent in here. No customers. It was barely just a second that he had to contemplate it, looking around the little store to see there wasn’t even anyone manning the till, that the pit in their stomachs opened, signaling danger, and they looked at each other in alarm.

 

Before they’d had the chance to dash out of the market again though the sliding doors snapped shut in a thicket of vines and thorns that appeared, smashing the glass and blocking the exit.

 

“I had hoped I could do this without your girlfriend having to see it, to be honest, but I feel it’s now or never that I get a chance like this.”

 

Both their eyes snapped towards the source of the male, slightly off-pitch voice, but there was nothing. The place was still devoid of people, the voice having no one to attach to.

 

Usagi looked at him in alarm, clutching at her brooch, but he shook his head sharply. Surely someone was watching, surely this voice was a threat that shouldn’t know their identity.

 

The thicket of vines behind them grew, smashing the glass of the complete window front and thickening still. The glass clattered noisily inside, and Usagi, with a shriek, jumped a bit further into the market to avoid being hit by it.

 

Mamoru inhaled deeply, letting his radar feel out around him. There _were_ two other people here. One unconscious, breathing shallowly like people do whose energy had been drained by a Cardian, lying behind the till, the other hidden, breathing, but slightly off – as if it wasn’t human.

 

Mamoru tugged on Usagi’s hand which he’d never let go during all of this – instead he’d steeled his grip on her – towards the tills, making to see if there was a way out through the back. Usagi gasped when she saw the shop clerk collapsed unconsciously on the floor – they knew him, his name was Haru, Usagi small-talked with him every time they were here.  

 

The door to the backroom snapped shut as if by an invisible hand, overgrowing with vines in an instant, before they reached it.

 

“Oh no, no, you don’t.” The voice said, harshly.

 

Mamoru drew Usagi slightly behind himself when they felt the tug in their guts deepen – signaling a Cardian. They heard a flute being played – it was an enchanting, almost peaceful melody, and with it, a Cardian roared to life.

 

It seemed completely transparent, as if made out of glass, and small – smaller than Usagi. With an earsplitting, high-pitched screech, so impossibly uncomfortable that both Mamoru and Usagi had to clutch at their ears, all the glass in the small convenience store seemed to vibrate – the remaining glass on the edges of the windows, the glass of the refrigerators and freezers, of the glassy shelves of the displays, and then shatter and fly towards the Cardian.

 

Usagi and Mamoru both gasped when hundreds of tiny shards of glass cut their skin through cloth, leaving bloody trails, on their way towards the Cardian.

 

“NO, NOT HER, you idiot – HIM!!” The voice boomed, and the Cardian focused completely on Mamoru.

 

And then a woman appeared – but she looked strange, green skin, a bordeaux-colored body-suit with vines on it not unlike those that blocked the exits, flowing pink hair and red-eyes. “Ail!” She screamed towards the ceiling, towards the voice, and looked at Mamoru in horror.

 

He looked back at her, clutching at his girlfriend, brows furrowing, breath hitching. _She looks like Fiore…_

Mamoru clutched Usagi tightly to his side – her school uniform was cut all over, just like his clothes were, blood seeping into the white fabric of her shirt but she didn’t make a sound of pain, instead looked towards the woman with the brave and steeled expression of Sailor Moon in her eyes.

 

“Ann…” The voice said, and then became corporeal at the same time that Usagi, seemingly, had enough.

 

She shouted her transformation words, and let herself be engulfed by the colorful lights and ribbons that made her into Sailor Moon.

 

Both creatures – the man, now corporeal, made Mamoru’s breath hitch even more – was that Fiore? No, no… he can’t be. He just looks like him? How…

 

And the man – Ail? – in question gasped, and fell to his knees.

 

The woman’s eyes hardened. “ _This_ is how you keep him?” She hissed at Sailor Moon, full of venom, then turned to the Cardian. “Get her!!” She yelled.

 

The Cardian screeched again and hurled the entirety of glass in the room towards Sailor Moon.

 

Mamoru cursed, and transformed as well.

 

He jumped towards Usagi just in time, crushing her face-forward to his chest, his cape materializing around them, keeping most of the shards away. Some struck into his back and he gasped, others lodged into both their legs and Usagi whimpered.

 

The woman – Ann – gasped upon seeing him as Tuxedo Mask, shock written in her whole stance.

 

Ail started to shout. “No, not her, can’t you see, it’s _him_. _He’s_ making her do this. _He’s_ making her fight us.”

 

Tuxedo Mask held onto Sailor Moon, but he was so confused. So utterly confused. Obviously, they were like Fiore. Obviously, they were of Fiore’s species – and now that he had to face the fact that his imaginary friend hadn’t been imaginary at all, he also knew that Fiore had been the most peaceful, gentle being he had known at the time; the only person gentler he’d ever met currently in is arms.

 

Fiore had believed to be the last of his kind. Fiore had been scared, lonely – and definitely not evil.

 

These two, if they were like Fiore, couldn’t be evil.

 

Usagi’s words, from weeks ago, rung in his ears, while he held onto her. That people weren’t evil, that they were just people, doing evil things for reasons.

 

He looked down at Usagi, she looked back up at him, wide-eyed. Scared, but determined.

 

Behind them, in front of the store, he could feel Rei and Makoto had arrived. Rei was burning away at the vines, trying to free them, even though they kept re-growing, re-appearing, Makoto was making it storm so people would keep away.

 

He let go from Usagi slightly and faced the man – Ail. “I’m not going to fight you. We’re not going to fight you.” He said, determined. Usagi looked at him, confused. “We’re going to talk, and then we’re going to help you.”

 

Ail signaled the Cardian even when Ann tried to prevent it, and it let out another shriek, this time forming a huge spike of glass that she hurled at Mamoru.

 

Mamoru just stood there, not dodging, and Sailor Moon’s eyes widened.

 

She shoved him away, Mamoru fell with terror in his eyes when he realized what she was doing, and now she was in its path.

 

It happened so fast – Usagi’s crescent moon pulsed and a power exploded out of her, blasting through the store, blinding everyone – and when it was gone the Cardian had been evaporated, the broken windows and doors had been restored, the vines ripped through, the shop clerk was coming to, and the spike had been shattered – yet still the smaller pieces it had shattered into had lodged themselves into Usagi’s abdomen.

 

Both Mamoru and Ail exclaimed in horror, and Usagi, clutching her stomach, fell to her knees.

 

Mamoru clutched at her, with trembling hands, dimly and not completely aware of people shouting, of Rei and Makoto that came running, of the aliens yelling, crying at each other. He was only aware of his Usako, blood seeping from her when he grabbed at the shards and pulled them out of her, one by one. She was conscious, looking at him wide-eyed, blood gurgling from her mouth and he was frantic, panicked. Healing her as fast as she could but she was slipping from his fingers, loosing blood too fast.

 

He registered a shout, by a voice he had never heard before. “ _MERCURY AQUA MIRAGE_!” and Ail was engulfed by a globe of water, when Ann screamed in horror and freed him just in time, but he didn’t look, he didn’t care, he could only babble mindlessly at Usagi, willing her to respond, to stay with him, to give him the time to heal her.

 

She was slipping, slipping so fast. Rei appeared at his side, shouting panicked at Usagi to stay awake, and he had to _do_ something, he needed to heal her faster, more efficiently.

 

Something in him ripped. Giving him the power he needed.

 

With an anguished roar armor broke forth on an ornate navy uniform and onto him, and Endymion replaced Tuxedo Mask.

 

He could grab at his power now, so easy now, and the golden glow of his healing hands intensified, cape billowing out behind him.

 

Gold became brighter, and brighter, and solidified, and Usagi’s eyes snapped open, healed now, looking at him wide-eyed.

 

Remembering, just as he did.

 

 

L

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger again. Very evil one, yes I realize that and I’m sorry. xD I’ll update very soon, as always.
> 
>  
> 
> Also:
> 
> Here’s some little bit of Mamoru’s playlist (because of course I looked for songs that would match. Of course.)Feel free to fill up in your head as you like, obviously xD
> 
>  
> 
> Bruno Mars – Marry Me
> 
> Moloko –The Time is Now
> 
> Benny Goodman – Sing Sing Sing (meloD Remix)
> 
> きゃりーぱみゅぱみゅ–PON PON PON
> 
> Toploader – Dancing in the Moonlight
> 
> Jason Mraz – Bella Luna
> 
> Pomplamoose – Batman Theme
> 
> Billie Holiday – It had to be you
> 
> Alexander Rybak – Fairytale
> 
> John Legend – All of Me
> 
> The Beatles – I Will
> 
> Florence & the Machine – Cosmic Love
> 
> Beach Boys – Wouldn't it be nice
> 
> Phillipe Rombi – Love Theme
> 
> Justice vs. Simian – We Are Your Friends
> 
> Frank Sinatra – Witchcraft
> 
> Beth Rowley – You've got me wrapped around your little finger
> 
> Sting – Until
> 
> Jason Mraz – Butterfly
> 
> Franz Liszt – Liebestraum
> 
> Promise of The World Music Box Version


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, so I kinda lied, accidentally. This chapter isn’t any shorter at all, after all. xD That wasn’t planned, but… they just kept talking xD xD…

 

L

 

 

It was curious, how they met almost exactly in the same way back then. Mamoru almost had to chuckle about it.

 

They’d both been little kids, him only a little older than her. Her mother, Her Majesty Queen Serenity, had been on a formal visit to the Golden Kingdom. Princess Serenity had managed to sneak away and get lost in the gardens, where she’d found him –Endymion. He’d been crying, because his nurse who he loved was to be sent away from court to be replaced by a royal guard of boys barely older than him, from the farthest reaches of the Kingdom and who he didn’t know.  To comfort him the tiny princess had plucked a rose from the garden bushes and held it under his nose. Looking up he’d seen the single most adorable and prettiest sight in the world, this incredibly warm and gentle smile, set in this delicate face with her pale skin and silver white hair, and those blue-ish lavender eyes.

 

She was so tiny, this lovely angel, four years at most, so full of warmth and kindness and she’d soothed his tears away with pudgy fists, asked him why he cried and told him of her own guard and how what was happening to him was the best thing in the world and he should save his tears for things that were sad.

 

And how they’d met again, years later, when the promise of war had hung over both their kingdoms for years and high strung hopes hung around peace negotiations. It had been in her palace gardens this time around, when it was his royal family making the formal visit and he and his guard (who by then had become his brothers to him) had been excused to explore the castle under guidance from her own royal guard. And how he had been introduced to this face again, the features older, but just as warm and gentle.

 

They’d both felt the jolt when he’d touched her knuckles to his lips, had both felt the other feel it – those whirring emotions that weren’t their own. It had confused them, scared them, moved them to tease each other and lash out instead of falling into each other’s arms, which was what they’d really wanted to do in that moment – they’d done that a little later.

 

They’d been married, only a few months later, secretly, in another garden – Elysion – by a boy priest under the cover of darkness. He’d known the risk, of course he had, but he just hadn’t been able to keep away.

 

He’d understood she was the other half of his soul, and sacrificing what they had for peace had just not been possible for either of them. Maybe they had been too naïve, too hopeful, too optimistic that everything would fall into place. That their love had to be accepted once they were not only linked by fate, but also before the gods and law.

 

It wasn’t.  

 

It had been a mistake. The risk had been too great. And yet… knowing what he knew, he would still always, _always_ do it again. He would always choose her. He remembered what had happened, and yet not a single bone in his body could regret choosing her over everything.

 

And it was so different – remembering. They’d heard Baby-Usagi tell them. And yet remembering was _so very much different_. He had no words for this.

 

They both looked at each other, in shock.  Usagi’s eyes were wide, so very wide, and so tired. He let his hands trail through one golden streamer of hair – amazed how it could be so different and yet the same. And he knew she – Usako. His _wife_. – was recalling the same thing, it played across her eyes and her raging emotions.  Her heart was hammering in her chest, she felt like recognition, longing, heartbreak, love. He took her hand, and she laced her fingers with his, gently, slowly. He was acutely aware of her soft skin against his, breath hitching and all, as if it were the first time he’d touched her, as if he hadn’t moved in her only this morning, as if he’d been denied her hand all this time.

 

He was pulled back to the present by Rei, shaking him, yelling at them that they needed to go _now_ , he needed to get back to normal, Makoto couldn’t keep anyone away much longer for them to flee.

 

They both shook out of it, and the clarity of the memories was dulled, like distant memories of dreams although he knew he would forever recall these now, making way for Mamoru to take hold of himself again.

 

Ail and Ann – as they had called each other, were gone.

 

Right. – Something that happened after Usagi had been injured. Someone had stepped in, did something –

 

He looked up into a different set of blue eyes that bore into him. Sailor Mercury’s eyes. She de-transformed, without breaking his gaze, and instead of a Senshi in a blue and white fuku and knee-high boots that should have looked unfamiliar to him but now wasn’t, a timid girl in a bordeaux and green colored school uniform stood in front of them.

 

Then her eyes flew to Usagi, who coughed, heaving, eyes squarely fixed on Mamoru and nothing else, touching her hands to her ripped and bloody fuku – no wounds were there anymore. She de-transformed and her – also ripped and bloody –school uniform re-appeared. Mamoru did the same, willing the armor to go and his regular battered clothes to re-appear.

 

Usagi looked at him wide-eyed. She was drained, weak, having expelled all her energy and nearly died beneath his hands – he trembled when he thought of it – and could barely stand up on her own… He almost fell to his knees in front of her and pulled her arms over his shoulders. She understood his intent immediately, slid onto his back, and he laced his arms behind his back and underneath her bottom, lifting her piggy-back. This way most of her blood-stained front would remain hidden.

 

Rei unzipped her hoodie and threw it over Usagi on Mamoru’s back, to hide the few still visible blood stains on the back of her school shirt, and then they ran. He was dimly aware of the blue haired girl – Sailor Mercury – stopping at the destroyed vines where a little sapling had sprouted just where Usagi’s energy blast had cut them, ripping it from its dead host and then proceeded to run after them. 

 

Makoto let the storm die down, leaving a small wake after them and through its eye they ran to the closest place that could shelter them, a small gap between houses, and waited a bit, looking at each other wide-eyed and then stepped out again, trying to act as if everything was normal.

 

The media was rushing in, crowds of on-lookers were forming, and attention was on the front of the Family Mart store, not on them. No one spared them a glance when they walked down the street together, just some concerned looks when they saw Usagi’s tired state, being carried by a boy in battered clothes – at least, his clothes being black, there was no blood visible on him.  But the way Mamoru carried her; the stance he adopted conveyed nothing out of the ordinary, just a boyfriend carrying his tired girlfriend, and they looked away.

 

“Tsukino’s.” He said, answering everyone’s unvoiced question of where to go, where to talk, and led the way with Usagi falling victim to her fatigue on his back, eyes fluttering in exhaustion.

 

Sailor Mercury blinked, she seemed surprised at the name but then caught herself, though paused for a second.

 

Rei turned back towards her and smiled reassuringly with a wink that Ami knew was completely and soley only for her benefit.  “…You coming _, Sailor Mercury_?”

 

The blue haired girl gasped a little. “That _is_ my name, isn’t it?” She whispered, and Rei’s eyes turned soft, grabbing her hand in hers and turning to walk.

 

Ami followed them.

 

 

L

 

She teleported, huffing and puffing, into their home with Ail across her shoulders and carried him, groaning, the few steps to their bed.

 

She’d arrived at the scene to safe Mamoru from Ail. She’d left to safe Ail from Mamoru.

 

The decision had been instantaneous, instinctive, irrevocable.

 

Ail collapsed, a trembling, weak heap of limbs, on the soft fluffy covers – they hadn’t adopted a lot of human habits since they arrived on this planet, but their sleeping arrangements they had copied. There had been something so comforting about soft bedding and falling asleep in a warm embrace that had drawn them in.

 

She lowered herself onto the bed as well and lay down behind Ail, wrapping his shaking form in her embrace, mimicking their sleeping position for his comfort, then allowed part of her energy to flow into his body when she touched her lips to the nape of his neck.

 

He sighed, calming somewhat.

 

There had never been a being in the whole universe she had felt more attracted to than Chiba Mamoru. No one she had ever wanted as much, desired as deeply, wanted to possess with all she was.  And there probably never would again.

 

It wasn’t even that he was Tuxedo Mask – Apart from the fact that creating a Cardian took a lot out of Ail, and having to create new ones because they kept being destroyed was even harder on him, she could absolutely forgive and completely understand that Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Moon would protect themselves and their own, would protect their planet from what they viewed as a threat.

 

It had been a shock, yes, but not a flaw. It made him, if possible, even more intriguing to her.

 

But they’d attacked them – the power Sailor Moon had expelled was greater than anything she’d ever witnessed. And then Mamoru had transformed again a second time to safe the wretched girl – and shown a power that was maybe just as great.

 

They’d almost killed Sailor Moon – no, Usagi. She was aware of that. He would not forgive that, just as she would not forgive them attacking Ail.

 

And then they’d attacked – she’d barely gotten Ail out alive.

 

This new warrior had come out of nowhere. The power she had expelled had been condensed, intense, on the point. The globe of water that engulfed Ail would have killed him in moments had she not dived in and hollowed it out.

 

It had been them, out to kill hers. Them against us.

 

But Ail was all she had. Ail was her companion, the single most important person in her life, the only person in her life. He had been with her through all their hardship, in every moment. He was hers, she was his, they belonged in this world together. They had come into this life together and she would not allow him to leave it without her. She would always keep him safe, always avenge him, would always be at his side.

 

Even if it meant to wipe out these warriors. Even if it meant to wipe out Mamoru.

 

She knew what this meant now – Ail was weak, on his brink. Their tree was dead, a hollow vessel unable to heal and sustain them any longer, only able to be carved out for Cardians anymore to get the energy they needed for them instead.

 

They were a threat to Sailor Moon and her entourage, and if she did not kill them now, they would come for both of them instead. It was just like it was at home. Kill or be killed. She knew the language of revenge and retaliation; had grown up with it even when they had run from it.

 

But she must do this, so they could live, so they could continue to get their energy this way, so they would not be hunted down by Tuxedo Mask for having injured his mate.

 

She’d arrived to safe Mamoru from Ail. She’d left to safe Ail from Mamoru. And now she would need to go back to kill him, and his girlfriend and their team as well.

 

 

L

 

He carried Usagi’s groggy form into her room, Ikuko whirring around him, wrought up and frantic, ever since she opened the door for them and had seen Usagi slumped on Mamoru’s back.

 

She was awake, though drowsy and out of it, not fully aware of the things happening around her. When he slid her off his back and onto the edge of her bed, Ikuko yelped, hand flying to her mouth, seeing the blood stains on her daughter’s shirt.

 

Both Mamoru and Usagi jerked up, hands flying up to reassure her, albeit slowly and uncoordinated in Usagi’s case. Usagi lifted up her shirt clumsily, showing baby smooth and unblemished skin, and Ikuko shoulders slumped back, letting out a huge sigh of relief.

 

Usagi got tangled up in her shirt, trying to get the bloody rag off her unsuccessfully and Mamoru directly jumped over to help her out of it and she sighed and slumped backwards onto the bed, curling up, eyes fluttering shut, while Mamoru went to rummage in her drawer for something new for her to wear.

 

“What can I do?” Ikuko said, anxious, hovering close to Usagi and wringing her fingers. Usagi moaned tiredly, and Mamoru turned to Ikuko with a sympathetic smile.

 

“Don’t worry… she’s alright, just tired, I swear…” He mumbled, apologetically, a bit defeated. He was very much aware of the fact that he was trying to convince himself of this almost as much as he was Ikuko. It had been such a close call… He looked over to Usagi, who had drifted off to sleep, curled up as she was and only clad in her bra and tattered skirt.

 

Ikuko looked dissatisfied, clearly feeling helpless in the situation. He cleared his throat. “She could use something to eat, I guess? Something with crazy amounts of calories? She’s lost a lot of energy…”

 

With this Ikuko’s shoulders snapped back, she adopted a determined expression, held a hand to Usagi’s forehead and then to her cheek and with very motherly instructions to holler for _anything_ , anything t all, she left the room and hurried down the stairs.

 

Mamoru quickly changed out of his own torn shirt and donned the button-down and vest from yesterday that was still lying around, not bothering to change his jeans that were only ripped around the knees and shins, and then grabbed the pale jersey skirt and the soft creamy-colored lacy woolen sweatshirt he had gotten out for her and approached the bed and her sleeping form.

 

He wasn’t all too careful with her school skirt – it was absolutely destroyed and unsalvageable anyway, so he didn’t bother being gentle to it when he got it off her, and tossed it blindly towards her trash bin. He was extremely careful when dressing her though, touching her almost religiously, gently, holding her steady and brushing against her skin as though she were something sacred. And to him, right now, she was. And it wasn’t really due to those new (old) additional memories at all, no. It was because she was her, and he had almost lost her today.

 

She was coming back to when he lifted her gently by the shoulders to get the sweater over her head, and she tried meekly to hold herself up to assist.

 

Her eyes blinked awake towards him again when her head emerged back out from the fabric, this time truly looking at him. He smiled at her, and without breaking their gaze he continued to pull her arms through her sweater.

 

“Good morning, princess.” He smiled a sad little lopsided smile at her.

 

Her eyebrows scrunched together. “ _Usagi_.” She corrected, with a frown.

 

He blinked at her, startled. “Yes. Of course, I know… I’m sorry, I was trying to be funny…”

 

She exhaled, relieved, and then frowned again, tiredly. “They’re not… as bright as they were before…” She said, worrying her lip, and he brought his hand up to tug on the side of her mouth to free it from her teeth. She released it almost immediately.

 

She was talking about her new set of memories, of course.

 

“For me neither.” He whispered and she exhaled deeply once more.

 

He knelt in front of her then, and their eyes were aligned with her sitting on the edge of her bed, mimicking the exact position they’d been in just a few weeks prior, in this very same spot.

 

“I’m still me…” She whispered, head cocked slightly sideways.

 

“Me, too.” He whispered back and she almost shuddered in relief.

 

Her whisper was small, but intense. “I love you.”

 

He grabbed her hands, almost yanked at her and leaned forward to bring their foreheads together. The look in his eyes was meaningful; fierce and powerful.

 

“I love you.” He replied, almost desperate, lips trembling.

 

Her lips curled up in a small smile and she wrapped her tired arms around his shoulders, drawing him closer against her and tilted her chin upwards to kiss his forehead, then nestled her chin into the crook of his shoulder, holding as fast as he did.

 

They remained like that for a while, until he sighed into her neck and the fabric of her sweatshirt. “We need to get down. They’re waiting for us downstairs.”

 

She nodded, but didn’t let go, her fingers clawed into his shirt. “What about the girl?” She mumbled, muffled by his shoulder, and he blinked.

 

He was sure she hadn’t been conscious enough in her near-death experience during Sailor Mercury’s appearance, but obviously awake enough on their way back, talking in hushed voices, for her to notice her in her civilian form.

 

“She’s Sailor Mercury.” He said, his voice vibrating against the skin of her neck and he felt her reaction. He was sure if he’d let go to look at her face now he’d find her eyes wide and surprised, and true enough, her heard her gasp. “Her name is Mizuno Ami…”

 

“The genius girl that Papa –“

 

“ – interviewed just last week.” He finished for her, chuckling dryly and it rocked her small form, then shrugged his shoulder slightly, the movement shaking her head that still lay against it. “What are the odds, eh?”

 

And if the anticipation that he felt bubbling around him, coming from downstairs, was any indication then they were probably grilling the girl about her transformation right now. She’d said she made her medium herself when Makoto had asked her about it on the way…

 

He released Usagi from his death grip and she reluctantly let him go with a little whine. She was still very weak, even if fully awake now, so he had her hook her arm through his and steadied her when they made it slowly down the stairs. (She’d refused to be carried down the stairs, rolling her eyes at him and telling him not to fuss so much.)

 

They could hear loud and pronounced voices wafting up the staircase from the living room. Makoto was obviously excited.

 

“ – think you could make crystals like that for us, too?!”

 

“I could try…”

 

The first thing he saw upon entering the room was Mako-chan jumping up and down in a way he would normally only have expected Usagi to do, with her hand on Ami’s shoulder who was blushing wildly.

 

Ami practically jumped up upon seeing them entering the room and bowed deeply when introducing herself very formally to Usagi.

 

Usagi stilled next to him for a moment. He could feel his girlfriend’s – _wife’s_ – emotions roaring. Recognition, this deep, deep affection she felt whenever she saw any of the Senshi… and he knew, because he did so as well, that she remembered her now of course. That she remembered all of them, even if dimly. Her guardians, her friends… her family.

 

With energy that she didn’t currently _have_ , Usagi flew into Ami’s arms with a cry, hugging her more tightly and longer than Ami had most probably ever been hugged before – at least those were the feelings her got off of her. She seemed a bit overwhelmed, the poor timid girl, especially when Usagi sniffled into her shoulder, crying a soft little “Welcome home. You’ve been missed _so_ much, Ami-chan.”

 

It was a while until Usagi extracted herself from the flustered blue-haired girl – only when Rei started teasing her about it; and Usagi’s head whipped around, still crying, and she flew towards Makoto and Rei, who were standing next to each other, and engulfed them in a group hug as well.

 

Even he was near tears, to be honest. Usagi’s emotions were raging so much he was having a damn hard time not getting affected by her.

 

And so was everyone else… even if _they_ didn’t share a bond straight to her emotions and sensations. As it was, Makoto had started crying as well, Ami long before. The former let them flow freely with a smile, the latter wiped at them somewhat embarrassedly, both really not knowing what was going on in Usagi, but feeling the significance nonetheless.

 

Rei ended up shoving Usagi playfully, swallowing around a lump in her throat as well or so Mamoru thought, telling her to cut it already, they had things to discuss.

 

And so they did.

 

They talked well into the afternoon; Ikuko kept around and fed them – and seemed to insist on continuously shoving food down her daughter’s throat (at least the bowl she’d been supplied with didn’t ever remain empty), and Kenji had come home at one point – dashing into the apartment frantically after having heard of another attack to see if they were alright and why didn’t they bloody ever listen to their phones – only to stop and blink at Ami confusedly who sheepishly waved hello at him. (And he was quite smug, way later, when Ami admitted that it been her conversation with him that had convinced her she could try and join them even if she had had no idea that she was ‘Sailor Mercury’ – she said it with a bit of wonder in her tone of voice.)

 

But after a while, they left them to it, not wanting to intrude on what seemed a very private experience, and Mamoru vowed to fill Kenji in later. Also, Mamoru was again very grateful, not for the first time, that Shingo was allowed to stay over at his friends’ houses so often, otherwise they really wouldn’t have been able to explain the reuinion currently happening in the boy’s living room.

 

They’d showed Ami one Baby-Usagi video that mentioned her the most, talking about her work, her crystals, her powers; then about Serenity and Endymion (which Ami was very intrigued about, firing away questions how it could be that his remembrance would trigger hers, and even more intrigued when Mamoru starting talking about unexplainable psychic soul bonds and psychometrics), about reincarnation, elementary powers, explained themselves and what was happening.

 

Though, unsurprisingly, Ami could explain the latter to _them_ way better.

 

“It’s called Makaiju. It’s a cosmic tree.”  She repeated, cradling the little sapling between her hands and then put it back on the coffee table. She stroked its little leaf as if it were a pet.

 

Mamoru shook his head, still a bit dumbfounded how she could know all these things. ‘I know about worlds…’ She had said ominously. ‘A lot of worlds…’ But one thing he was certain about; had they met Ami earlier a lot of this would have been way easier.

 

“So… what you’re saying is… what we’re up against all this time is this tiny little baby tree?!” Rei couldn’t wrap her head around all this information. 

 

“Well, not the tree _directly_ , and of course not _this sapling_ anyway, but the tree’s offspring, yes.” Ami nodded.

 

“But… we’re fighting _plants_?” Makoto shook her head.

 

“Technically… yes.” Ami said.

 

“But the boy Mamoru says he knew…” Makoto repeated. Ami sighed a bit. And Mamoru could understand, they had been going over this three times by now, yet still, it was a bit much to take, even for him.

 

“Would be another of the tree’s offspring, yes. A sibling of the ones you saw today, you could say. But then again, they’re _all_ siblings, they’re all made by this tree. The genetics behind it are fascinating. Think of it as self-pollination. Onesided, asexual reproduction. No amphigony. They don’t procreate, they are only ever created by this one tree. Without the tree the species dies out.”

 

“And it feeds off emotion?–“ Mamoru murmured, looking at the tiny sprout skeptically, and Usagi, who sat on the floor with her back against Mamoru’s legs, touched the leaf carefully with one extended digit –

 

It twitched at her touch and grew a tiny fraction. Usagi yelped and drew her hand back, Ami looked at it wide-eyed and amazed.

 

“Usagi-san…Can you do that again, please?” She asked with an awed voice.

 

Usagi eyed the sprout warily, and then back up at Ami, who looked at her with almost giddy anticipation. Usagi gulped, and touched it again. Then she shrieked; it had grown another few centimeters, two or three, this time a soft little new leaf had started forming.

 

Ami jumped up, giggling. “ _Amazing!_ ” 

 

Mamoru eyed the tree probably as warily as Usagi and the others did, but Ami was beyond excited. “Can you think of Mamoru-san when you do it?”

 

“Er,… okay?” Usagi said, and extended her finger again, this time a safer distance away, Mamoru’s hand resting on her shoulder, squeezing as she leaned her whole arm over and scrunched one eye shut, then looked up at Mamoru in the last second while she touched it.

 

The pad of her index finger brushed the tiniest leaf only briefly, but this time it pretty much exploded in leafs, tripling its size. Mamoru yanked at her shoulder to draw her back and she fell back on her bum, clutching at his legs, fingers clawing into his black skinny jeans. What had at first barely been the size of a small dandelion was now the size of a big cat or small dog, sprouting shiny glimmering green leafs.

 

“Well _that’s_ creepy.” Rei deadpanned, eyeing the plant warily while Ami couldn’t contain her amazed laughter; She was even clapping her hands in excitement.   

 

Makoto looked at it as doubtful as Rei did. “But you’re _sure_ they’re really a peaceful species, yes?” She said, one eyebrow raised, eyes fixated on the alien botany.

 

Both Mamoru and Ami answered with a resolute and resounding “Yes.”

 

“Well…so why are they killing people, then?” Rei glared with pursed lips and an annoyed tone.

 

Ami cringed a little, her soft voice becoming even quieter. “Well – to be precise, as far as I am informed, and please correct me if I’m wrong, they’ve killed only once. And it was the first time it had been a couple who was attacked, yes?”

 

They nodded. Mamoru and Usagi’s gazes both turned a bit darker, mournful, and Makoto glanced at Mamoru sympathetically.

 

Ami paused a bit before she continued to talk. “Well, I’d reckon it was an accident, actually…. You just saw what the tree did when Usagi-san thought of Mamoru-san. Love is the purest emotion for this entity. It would not be able to deal with this amount of energy exposed to it if it hadn’t been prepared for it. It wouldn’t have even known when it was too much…” She trailed off, watching Mamoru’s frown carefully.

 

Makoto shook her head rapidly, scrunching her eyebrows together in thought. “But… why do they extract energy to feed this thing then, or to feed themselves or whatever, when they basically just need to touch it with happy feels?”

 

“Well… for one, I don’t think it’s this easy… the emotion needs to be very strong… _and_ completely positive.” To emphasize her point, Ami went to touch the plant again herself – nothing happened. Mamoru frowned. Right… He’d seen her hold the thing the whole way back, nothing had happened to it. But it made sense… Usagi _was_ filled to the brim with love for _anyone_ ….

 

“Well…and also,” Ami continued “so they might not be aware of that. There aren’t that many people who feel deeply. Especially because the samples I have seen are all riddled with Chaos energy, and practically if not completely dead…”

 

They all looked at her confused. Ami frowned. “Eh… that’s another story maybe. Still…” She inhaled deeply, and started to gesticulate at the tree in modest movements. “The point is, I think they don’t know. In fact, I think this sapling is the only thing about this tree currently still alive.”

 

Usagi’s eyes widened. “So… if we could teach them, then they might not do this…” She said, her voice hopeful.

 

“Maybe.” Ami shrugged. “It’s just a hypothesis.”

 

Then Ami frowned again, looking at the plant on the coffee table. She picked it up – it was much lighter than it appeared and looked a little peculiar with its roots not burying into anything but otherwise completely normal. She put it back and this time she noticed that the roots weren’t even fully touching the surface it was placed on – it floated a little bit.

 

She looked up. “Um, Usagi-san, Mamoru-san… would you be willing to test what effect it has when both of you touch the sapling simultaneously, thinking of each other?”

 

Usagi gulped, but looked up at Mamoru who shrugged at her. She nodded, and they both moved towards the plant.

 

“Wait!” Ami yelled and they both froze, wide-eyed, hands extended.

 

Ami picked up the plant again, and moved it off the coffee table to the middle of the living room, on the ground. Mamoru nodded. More space, made sense.

 

Mamoru took her hand, and turned to look at her. Not breaking their gaze, they both extended their hands again and then touched the leafs of the tiny tree at the same time.

 

This time it billowed out so forcefully it knocked both of them off their feet. It grew, in an instant, to Usagi’s height.

 

They landed on the floor in a dull thud that made Kenji jump into the room, thinking something had happened. He stood, dumbfounded, staring at a floating tree in the middle of his living room.

 

Ami grinned. “ _Or,_ … I’d say we have a gift for them.“

 

 

L

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So… this is almost it. Only two more chapters.
> 
>  
> 
> It’s been a crazy ride, and I wouldn’t have been this fast and determined without your reviews.
> 
>  
> 
> So some much needed and deserved thanks are in order, to everyone who took the time to push that review button and let me know that you were reading and enjoying it,
> 
> And especially to Ruk, Celestrial Cat, Mercedes 1312, Sailor Saiyan007, momo221, Kasienda, tryntee13, Bunchan529, alecksandurah, Lady Aya, Tinatin, wishwars and Malevolent Dark Reflection,as well as Kumuchii on AO3 for reviewing so often and thoroughly and with so much excitement that made my heart beat faster and kept me going like nothing else; and for smokingbomber and irritablevowel to do the same while also helping me out when I got stuck on a plot-hole or a detail, and for Antigone2 for doing so and for a review that made me cry and for inspiring this thing in the first place.
> 
>  
> 
> Next up: Venus!


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, yeah… so the chapters are coming in quick succession now, like in the beginning – so Chapter 28 might even get published later today. But as I said sometime before, I really don’t write linear at all, so most of these scenes have been sitting here forever, and I’m only filling in a few tiny gaps anymore now as I go… so that’s why xD.

 

L

 

Ann sat by the tub that she had placed Ail in, filled to the brim with slightly above room temperature water to keep his vitals stabilized.

 

He _was_ more or less stable now, oftentimes even awake, but so so very weak, and giving him her own energy only helped so much.

 

He needed energy, fresh, unfiltered energy, badly, and she had no way to get it for him.

She only had one chance. She needed to act fast – needed to get rid of them, collect Sailor Moon’s valuable energy in the process and at best have Ail even with her at the time so he could access the energy directly and not second hand.

 

It would be so much easier if she could just do what Ail could do. It would be so much easier if their roles were reversed. Ail would have been able to create a Cardian right now and get her the needed energy if he were in her shoes, and then they would have been able to regroup and fight with all they had.

 

But Ail couldn’t help her now. She had to do this for them.

 

Ann wasn’t capable of creating Cardians. She never had needed to learn, because Ail could. And even if she might have been able to learn it at a certain point, even if it were still possible to form such a deep connection to their tree as Ail had when the tree was still alive… there was no way now to form this kind of bond with a hollowed out corpse.

 

But there was still one Cardian she could use anyway.

 

The only one that had ever survived Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask’s assaults.

 

Her one chance at this.

 

She held up her hand and her surroundings glimmered until she was able to slip between the crack of dimensions and stand before what was once their source of life.

 

She had to flinch upon seeing the blackened, withered, mouldering remains of their tree. She would never get used to the sight.

 

She called through the black, and got an answer from all sides from the creature that Ail had taken on himself to nurse back to health, make it stronger and invincible. Had it merge with parts of other Cardians to reconstruct its severed limbs.

 

The butterfly-resembling Cardian appeared in front of her with its ghost-like flickering form, shining green through the black. Its burned off wings had been replaced by glass that could dissolve into water at will; the turning wheel at its back now sizzled with electricity, its twisted horns now tipped with metal and gold, its tendons grown longer, and it was quicker to dissolve into fog lest it be seized again. It was a thing of morbid beauty that Ail had created.

 

It would do.

 

L

 

It was exhilarating, fucking _indescribable_ the feeling Makoto had when transforming into Sailor Jupiter.

 

It felt like being reborn, like déjà vu, like coming home.

 

When her feet touched the ground again, clad in green boots now, and she smoothed her hands over her white and green fuku for the first time, felt the surge of power and control that it brought; she felt so thrilled that she started laughing so hard she had to bend, clutch her side for the strength of it, tearing up.

 

Rei – sorry, Sailor Mars, of course, was a bit more dignified in her joy; she could see that out of the corner of her eye, the way she kept looking down at herself in awe.

 

Makoto managed to come down a bit, only the odd little giggle resurfacing, and with that she hugged Ami so tightly that she picked her up, who gave a small startled shriek. “ _Thank you thank you thank you_ –”

 

She put the poor blushing girl back on her feet, and Rei gave an embarrassed bow in thanks, until Usagi smacked her in the shoulder to go and thank Ami properly and both of them only acted weirder. Ah well, she didn’t have that problem so Makoto went and hugged the blue-haired girl again.

 

They were currently at the Hikawa shrine, having met there with Ami. It felt a bit silly, how easy it had been in the end. Ami had closed her eyes, concentrated, and formed crystals – one leaf shaped, the other shaped like a tiny flame, both clear and transparent until she’d each held them in front of Makoto and Rei respectively, and while Ami was still forming it, had asked them to concentrate hard on everything they felt was Senshi within them, pour it into their thoughts and then aim at the crystal, using their power a minimal amount.

 

Makoto had created a tiny miniature electric discharge, which Ami had captured and crystallized in her medium’s core. It swirled, green, foggy, and a tiny bit alive. The same for Rei; red, foggy, and a tiny bit alive, made from the tiny spark that had escaped her hands after Ami’s order.

 

They’d stood there then, both her and Rei, looking a bit clueless about what to do now and Ami had shrugged, saying to just try, just say what came natural, it’ll come to them, and Usagi had nodded eagerly in agreement.

 

Rei had had no problem with that of course, if the girl had anything then it was instinct, and with a few shouted words Makoto had watched in awe as the girl transformed before her, a bit slower than Usagi usually did (Usagi had blushed crimson and huffed and covered Mamoru’s eyes), but maybe it was just because it was her first time transforming and then it had been Makoto’s turn.

 

It had taken her a bit longer to find the right words, but here she was. Sailor Jupiter, reporting for duty.

 

And she just felt so _riddled_ with energy. Like she could take anything and anyone on.

Sailor Mars might have been first to remember her transformation words, but Sailor Jupiter had directly recalled her first attack – only to be tackled midsentence by a shrieking Usagi, keeping her from doing it here what would grandpa Hino say.

 

That Makoto had been reluctant to de-transform again was the understatement of the week, but after some grumbling she did and they settled into Rei’s room and got the tall Crown to-go plastic cups from Rei’s fridge that Usagi and Mamoru had brought with them upon arrival (Usagi had been very insistent that they should combine the research and the milkshakes), and Makoto unpacked the bento boxes she had prepared.

 

Also, it felt a bit like Ami felt more comfortable when they were doing other things as well instead of just and only listening to her raptly, so eating was a good idea. Makoto had the feeling the girl didn’t really like being the spotlight of attention. Which was a bit hard, considering she was a fountain of information that had been frankly astounding and stunning to all of them so far.

 

The things this girl _knew_. Insane. And here they’d thought _Mamoru_ was a know-it-all…

 

Like when Ami mentioned in passing that there were whole cultures still modeled after aspects of their extinct Silver Millennium and Golden Kingdom, which anthropologists were still very much confused about why the hell they would do these particular things, or build their houses in that particular way, or believed in this and that weird superstition, all of which were really rooted in their very own history. Mamoru, needless to say, had been so fascinated by every word Ami had said so far – jumping at a sentence here or there and running with it excitedly, nerd-mode switched on and all – that the poor girl had made a fast fan – which obviously made her quite shy.

 

So Makoto decided to take pity on her and changed the topic, at least somewhat. “So how’s the tree?” She asked, nibbling on an onigiri distractedly.

 

Mamoru groaned pitifully. “It _grows_.” He glared and Makoto had to giggle. He looked _adorable_ when annoyed, she couldn’t help it.

 

Ami’s eyes had widened. “On its _own_?”

 

Usagi paused in her food-devouring slightly and blushed at that. Mamoru sighed. “No. _Someone_ can’t keep from accidently touching it, or falling over it, or running into it…”

 

Rei snorted at that, next to her. But well, to Usagi’s defense, they _had_ put the thing in her room so Shingo wouldn’t see it. Yesterday after they’d carried it up there, it had already almost touched the ceiling. And it looked ridiculous, because Usagi had insisted they put a red bow on it. (“It’s a _present_ after all…” At which Mamoru had first only rolled his eyes but then done it for her since her own attempts to do it herself – as there was just no keeping her from it – had let it grow even more, obviously.)

 

“Well why don’t we put it here?” Makoto asked and Rei threw her a look. “Grandpa tends the gardens.” She said with a look that rather said, _‘Are you stupid?’_.

 

“So?”

 

“I guess he’d notice a _floating tree_.” She said and Makoto nodded in agreement with a slight wince. Right. That…

 

She looked over at Usagi then, who had lost a bit of her speed with which she normally tore through Makoto’s homemade food and had grown rather silent. Makoto raised an eyebrow at her, but she wasn’t looking at her, so she turned to look at Mamoru instead, who shrugged his shoulder at Makoto with a look that kinda said _‘I don’t read her_ mind _, you know?_ ’ and then he nudged Usagi beside him a bit with his shoulder.

 

“What’s wrong.” He asked, leaning down towards her affectionately.

 

She snapped out of it, and by now they were all looking at her. “Nothing! Sorry…” She said, then sighed. “…Just wondering if we’ll find Venus, too…”

 

Mamoru said something Makoto was sure referenced his returned memories, a bit sad that she couldn’t remember as well, saying how he was quite frankly surprised that Venus hadn’t been first to come running to Usagi. Ami though, Makoto noticed, had cocked her head sideways in thought and whipped out her phone, only to start typing furiously, while Mamoru and Usagi continued in their musing of where Venus might be. (“I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s like, a model or something” – “At 16?!” – “Well, she wouldn’t _have_ to be 16, would she…?” “Well.. you _all_ are…”)

 

Makoto leaned slightly towards Ami to be able to glance over her shoulder and at her phone screen. The girl had opened up a window that looked more like a computer screen than an Android background and was typing names into a field that read “Exclude” – the names she typed in were all theirs, plus another that she didn’t recognize.

 

“Who’s Tomoe Hotaru?” She mumbled, and Ami jerked upwards a bit to look at her, startled.

 

Ami blushed. “A friend of mine.” But then went back and ticked some boxes and wrote some specifications in her screen. In the header was a logo that made Makoto start a bit; IDNAIS – International DNA Index System.

 

It was a moment later that three names with accompanying photos appeared on her screen.

 

Makoto almost choked on her milkshake. “Did you just… did you just hack into international DNA databases on your _phone_?”

 

This pretty much brought any conversation in the room to a halt. Heads whipped around and Ami shrunk a bit where she was sitting.

 

“No…” She mumbled. “I just accessed Infinity’s terminal server to remotely log into my own computer… which happens to have access to international DNA databases and I happen to know which markers to look for to identify a Senshi…” She rushed the last bit, mumbling faster in tune to Mamoru’s widening eyes.

 

“But…” Rei started an argument, how that could be possible, DNA samples weren’t kept on such a grand scale to be scanning through so many people to find another Senshi and she was pretty sure she would not be found there (At which Ami pressed her back button and showed Rei her entry which she had formerly excluded in her search. And yeah, of course they were all on there.)

 

“What?!” She’d exclaimed. And Ami explained that well, she _might_ have tweaked her access a bit to include _all_ international information available from _any_ country, be it medical, criminal, or just a recent blood donation or doctor’s screening.

 

“But…” Rei had started again. “They don’t _save_ that kind of information… and it’s kept _anonymous_.”

 

Ami looked at her with a sad and sympathetic expression. Like someone does at a child that just found out that Santa wasn’t real.

 

Makoto cleared her throat. And Ami started, flushed, and swiped on her phone again, back to the results.

 

She put her phone on the coffee table.

 

Three finds had come up:

 

Tenou Haruka

Kaioh Michiru

Aino Minako

 

All of them with very generic, unsmiling biometric I.D. photos.

 

“The first two go to my school.” Ami supplied, and Makoto noted that Ami didn’t seem like that was news to her, finding those two names on a list that indicated Senshi DNA.

 

Rei had only snapped the phone up immediately, and pointed at Minako decisively. “That’s her!”

 

Usagi snatched the phone from her, and a hand flew to her mouth. Makoto didn’t need to be able to read her emotions for this, it was written clearly on her face. She recognized the girl.

 

“How do we find her?” Usagi whispered. Ami’s phone was slightly shaking in Usagi’s hand when Ami took it from her.

 

She then proceeded to type furiously, for a minute or so, and Makoto once again couldn’t believe her eyes. This time she was _sure_ this was hacking what the girl was doing, and what turned up were the girl’s social security number, birth certificate, school records, Email… and home address. “Oh here it is.” Ami said, turning the phone back around. “She lives in London.”

 

Makoto blinked at the girl, and Mamoru snatched the phone from her, looking at it fixedly as if he’d never seen a phone before, as unbelieving as Makoto was herself. Rei and Usagi just looked at each other, stunned.

 

“So…” Rei said, wide-eyed. “What are we saying? Are we going to _London_?” She asked around the coffee table and at least Mamoru seemed to contemplate the idea. “… or do we just like, email her? She’d probably think we’re bullshitting her...”

 

Ami timidly demanded her phone back from Mamoru – who was a bit loath to let it go, Makoto saw, probably wanting to analyze the shit out of what this could all help them with and how the girl was doing it – and with just a few more clicks and typing she announced, “She has an instagram, a tumblr, a blog and a pinterest account… She seems to be quite interested in fashion.”

 

“Ami-chan, you scare me.” Makoto said, shaking her head amusedly with some obvious praise laced in her voice and the girl in question started stammering.

 

“Uh…Maybe one of us should get in contact with her? Usagi-san?” Ami said, blushing.

 

Usagi swallowed, wide eyed, and nodded. But then her expression dulled a bit and she frowned. “But… isn’t this unfair? Pulling her into this when she doesn’t even have the time to think about if she wants to figure out this stuff and be part of this? Like we all did…?”

 

L

 

At the same time, halfway across the world, Minako huffed a bit, hefting both cat carriers and her carry-on through security, mumbling towards the cases that she’d never feed them again a day in their lives, how were they so heavy?

 

Turns out, over all, bringing cats overbroad was something of a challenge.

 

At one point they’d almost given up the bureaucratic lunacy, Luna had pretty much begged her to go on her own and find Serenity. But how would she make them remember without the cats? How would she find the Senshi and give them their powers without the cats? And how would the cats ever get to Japan on their own? They couldn’t exactly walk into a travel agency and book their flights, and sea travel always sounded so much easier than it actually was.

 

So it had taken them pretty much months, to get all the required vaccines that Luna and Artemis had to grudgingly endure, get them little pet passports, pass an international quarantine test – another of which would be waiting for them upon arrival.

 

After that, it had been so easy it was almost ridiculous. One call to her school that she’d be moving back to Japan, another to her mother that she’d be needing her room back after all and after a few traded insults that was that – they had the _worst_ relationship, but well, even she wouldn’t leave her daughter homeless it seemed.

 

And it was almost disheartening to see that she could fit her life into two oversized suitcases. Most of which were of course entirely filled with her clothes – mostly very classy and/or over the top vintage pieces from little hipster shops in the East End, or from the Stables Market in Camden Town –  only her favorites had made the selection, and picking among her babies had been the hardest thing of packing up her life in London. She’d been driving the cats – mostly Luna, Artemis was strangely immune to her antics – insane with her dramatic bawling sessions over one or another particular piece of clothing that just had to go.

 

She accidently banged one of the cat carriers against the side of the conveyor walkway and one of them  – she guessed it was Artemis, Luna was more collected than that – let out an entirely too human-sounding scream. She rolled her eyes.

 

She loved the little bugger, but really, he was almost more of a drama queen than she was.

 

By the time they’d started to talk (now _that_ was a memory – finding her tiny kitten furballs suddenly _talking_ to her…) Minako had already mostly worked it out on her own. This strange urge to _protect_ she felt whenever she’d gaze at a news clipping of Sailor Moon, which she collected like a hoarder. She’d always known, deep down, that she had a purpose. That she was a warrior. The feeling fit when gazing upon the one _other_ blonde Sailor Senshi.

 

She’s literally been staring at her purpose for months, blu-tacked to her wall.

 

There was no question, doubt or hesitation in her when Artemis had asked her if she wanted her memories back to fit that sense of purpose in her.

 

She didn’t remember everything. It wasn’t like there was suddenly only Venus, and no more Minako. No, not at all. It was more like there were just suddenly more memories to Minako. Some memories were hazy, as if taken from a dream, others were clear as day. Dying, for instance, was one of the clear ones. Not a nice memory to have.

 

And Serenity. There were very clear memories about Serenity as well.

 

Serenity had been 17 when she had died, just shy of 18, secretly married, and had witnessed a genocide upon her death – which Minako recalled sadly only too well - and which had been at Serenity’s own hand. In that moment, having witnessed the butchering of everyone and all she loved, to her it must have been a last act of dignity and of choice - she had chosen to not live in a world where he and _all_ her loved ones weren't in it.

 

Venus had been 11 when she’d been sworn to Serenity on the day of her birth, the oldest among the others and thus been made their leader, even though the age gap had been small: Mercury, their youngest, had been shy of 8 years old at the time. As a baby, they had been of course more babysitters than anything else at first. Later they were her older sisters. Scolding her, teaching her, raising her, protecting her, though always swearing to serve her, never losing their proper ways of calling her ‘Her Highness’  which Minako remembered drove Serenity up the wall sometimes, made her feel so lonely amidst these people she loved and who loved her so.

 

As a child, Venus hadn’t understood why she should have been taken from her family to serve the princess when she was only a mere child herself, especially in a society where one could live nigh forever. She had rebelled against it for a short time when she was younger, before she’d ever met Queen Serenity much less her then unborn child.

 

She’d been born a princess in her own right, like all the princess’s guardians –Princess Venus, heir to her throne. And as was the custom, with the birth of Serenity all firstborns in child-age, or if the firstborn wasn’t female, then the first female born to the family, would revoke all their rights to their own power and seat, vowed to never have children or be married, and be sent to serve as guardians to the heir of the Silver Millennium. By the time she had arrived, had first laid eyes on the infant royal, herself a mere child, she had already learned to understand the honor and duty in it, that this was how the peace was kept, and how pure and important the cause.

 

It was much later, when Serenity endangered herself in a way that needed them to act as soldiers for the first time, that she finally understood that a bond this strong to her princess could only have been formed if they were the ones to raise her, to form her, like any sibling would participate in their sibling’s formation, to induce this overpowering sense of loyalty and love and care and blind protection, given so freely and automatically; instincts one would usually only feel for their own children or their own siblings.

 

Their job had been to protect the purest power in the world from extinction. But by having her grow up under them when they were only children themselves, it had been ensured that it wasn’t a power they protected – it was the single most precious person in the world to them.

 

Serenity had been 15 when she met Endymion again. 16 when they were married without anyone’s knowledge. 17 when she had died because of it.

 

Venus had understood the yearning, of course. Understood the power of love. She of all people should. Especially because she herself loved someone forbidden. But she also understood her duty. And there was nothing in the world she loved more than her princess. Not even Kunzite.

 

Serenity hadn’t yet ruled, hadn’t yet been sworn to power, had been born into the task, yes, but never lived it. She didn’t fully grasp the outrage she would cause, the rules she would break.

 

Endymion did though. He had been older, if only slightly. But at 18, when he’d fallen in love with the 15-year old heir to the Silver Millennium, he’d already been sworn in, had already taken over his duties. He knew what it was they were doing, and he didn’t care. He took the risk, knowing it would most probably cause a war.

 

Venus never forgave him for that. He might as well have pushed the blade into Serenity himself.

 

And now, it seemed, he was getting her into danger once more, at least from what she had gathered from the news. Because who _else_ could Tuxedo Mask be.

 

To say Minako was livid was putting it very mildly. She was about to have his head.

 

She took a few calming breaths, trying to control her anger. It helped.

 

She let out a huge sigh of relief, pulling her cat-eye-shaped shades off her eyes and onto her head when she finally flopped into her seat – cat carriers stored safely with the cabin crew.

 

‘ _Welcome on this A773 flight from London Heathrow to Tokyo Narita. We’ll be taking off momentarily. Please turn off all electronic devices for take-off. We ask you to…’_

 

L

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go… only one more to go.
> 
>  
> 
> Please, please let me know what you think!!^^
> 
>  
> 
> (And yes, I hear you, and I’m thinking about a sequel, but it’s not set in stone yet, even though I do want to do one… But more on that after the end!)


	28. Ikigai Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pfew…. So this is it…
> 
> I listened to a song while writing the next scene that in my head fit absolutely perfectly. Cover of Like a Prayer by Vitamin String Quartet. Gave me goosebumps. You’ll get what I mean (and exactly where I imagined it to) if you do listen to it xD

They felt a Cardian appear.  It was the kind without any warning; neither Rei had sensed it nor Ami’s warning system predicted it. It just flared up, leaving them clutching at their stomachs, with this odd sense of knowing just where they would have to go to find it.

 

It was pure luck that they were all still together at the Hikawa shrine, as it was already getting late and they had meant to part ways hours ago but kept talking. And Mamoru could practically feel Makoto’s excitement to be testing her new (old) attacks.  

 

This was it, then. He exchanged a small glance with Usagi, then Rei. Only then he remembered the others would be coming too now.

 

He shook his head to try and clear it, to plan. “Someone needs to get the tree.” He said, looking at them meaningfully.

 

Makoto frowned, nonplussed. “Well _we’re_ not leaving. Not when we’re finally equipped to really help.” And with that she started jogging down the steps, not waiting for an argument, and they followed.

 

Mamoru’s look turned sullen and he felt Usagi’s reprimanding frown on him as they hurried after Makoto. He knew what she was gonna say of course. That he’s not in this alone anymore, that he needs to let go, that they’re a team now. He frowned back at her, but didn’t argue the matter. Instead he said, “Call your father. Tell him to get that goddamn tree there _now_.”

 

She fumbled for her phone in her run, and after a moment he heard her giving directions.

They transformed on the way – Makoto was back to cheering, pumped – but stopped dead in their tracks on arrival.

 

They was no one there. No victims, as if the whole area had been cleared. Police was starting to arrive, but it was as if an invisible force pushed them back, anyone really, that was near it.

They had been waiting for them, he realized with a start.

 

And as if she heard his thoughts, the woman – Ann – appeared hovering above them. Behind her, protected by what he could only describe as a bubble, a safer distance away, lay her partner on the ground. Heaving, barely conscious, sweating.

 

“There you are.” She hissed, face scrunched up, eyes mere slits. She lifted her hands and expelled a blast of energy that knocked them off their feet. Mamoru was quick to clutch at Sailor Moon, press her to his chest and roll them so he landed on the asphalt, but she only on him.

 

He grunted as his head hit the floor, top hat rolling off and away.

 

And then with a screech that seemingly came from anywhere, the Cardian they had felt appeared. Though he wasn’t the first to recognize it with widening eyes – Rei had jumped up, inhaling sharply. It fluttered into existence, like static that sometimes gave out, filtering in and out.

 

“ _No_.” Usagi yelled, and disentangled herself from his arms.

 

She got up gracefully, and built herself up in front of Ann with defiant eyes. “We will not fight you.” She said in a tight and confident tone of voice, chin high. “We’ll teach you how to survive. You don’t need to take energy by force.”

 

The Cardian flapped its flickering wings – they were now what appeared to be glass, reminiscent of the Cardian’s structure they had previously fought; the one that had nearly killed Usagi.

 

He felt a pit in his stomach open and panic curl up, but she was right. And he trusted Sailor Moon. He picked himself up from the floor, one hand on his knee, and went to stand beside her, then dropped his sword.

 

It clattered noisily to the floor, and Ann looked at it, confused, torn, frightened even. He could feel the emotions coiling in her; she was terrified, riddled with adrenaline, driven to protect like a cornered mother hen – he was never more sure that Usagi was right.

 

But then her expression steeled again.

 

“All the easier for me then.” She said and lifted her hand.

 

Two things happened at once; Ann expelled another blast of energy meant to knock them back off their feet, but Mamoru had seen it coming and with a wince he had braced himself and clutched Usagi to his side. They remained standing, the blast sending her hair and his cape billowing out behind them. At the same time, the Cardian roared and prepared to attack.

 

Its wings dissolved into water in a fountain around it so giant they could no longer see the horizon behind it, billowing out to strike at them.

 

But Sailor Mercury had jumped in front of them, and like a ballet dancer or figure dancer she twirled around her own form gracefully, her hands performing a movement that seemed to calm the waters, until she whispered, in the quietest of voices, “ _Mercury Aqua Mist_ ”, and with it she generated billows of icy fog that surrounded them and broke against the waves of water the Cardian expelled: Freezing it instantly.

 

It was macabre how beautiful a sight this was, this angelic being formed like a butterfly, floating like a ghost, surrounded by fragile looking spiked waves of ice, forming around it almost like an art nouveau painting.

 

The ice didn’t stop it though – the Cardian gurgled in a hiss of electricity that was generated in the golden wheel on its back and travelled, instantaneously, across the ice, shattering it, morphing it into glass.

 

Tuxedo Mask flapped his cape with a flick of his wrist, wrapping it completely around Sailor Moon, but otherwise they remained standing still, outwardly unphased.  

 

Both Rei and Makoto moved next to Mercury, and while Makoto managed not only to call upon the thunder with a shouted call of “ _Sparkling …Wide …PRESSURE_ ” but had also gathered it between her hands and blasted it towards the glass, Rei balled her fists and snarled. “Well I toasted you before, I can do it again.” And collected fire around her, completely without any source whatsoever, and hit the wings at the same pressure point that Jupiter did.

 

It cracked, after some effort, and dissolved back into billows of water, completing an infuriating cycle of events. Back to zero.

 

“ _Shit.”_ Mars growled.  

 

Jupiter tried again, even though Usagi yelled at them to stop it, don’t fight it, and called the thunder again to aim it at the Cardian’s wheel.

 

It had no effect – the Cardian vibrated for a moment and the water started sizzling with electricity once more. She, too, cursed, while Ami started to type away at her whirring phone and had he had a mind for it, he would have wondered what kind of crazy gateway machine that thing must be hooked up to.

 

As it was though, Ann didn’t leave them any time for new strategies. She roared, in what Mamoru felt was an exchange of energy. His eyes widened – the alien woman seemed to drain her own energy completely, feeding it to the creature. It seemed to moan in pleasure, shuddering, and then grew… and grew, and kept growing.

 

Trees in the park around them started snapping, falling, making room for the giant creature, and the Senshi had to take several steps back, hearts hammering in their chests, he felt, to still be able to see its horns in the sky.

 

Tuxedo Mask clenched his jaw and started to tremble. Every fibre in his being told him to attack, to fight, and he felt a rush, blasts of energy within him and words on his lips that wanted to be shouted out, expelling it, but he bit them down, and tightened his hold on Sailor Moon. He trusted her judgement. If she said don’t fight, he wouldn’t fight.

 

Makoto and Rei started to fire up again, quite literally in Rei’s case. “ _No_!” Usagi shouted at them again. “ _Don’t_! She’s protecting him, don’t you see? She loves him. They aren’t bad, they’re _scared_.”

 

Behind them, a car crashed through the entrance of the park with a blast,  as if crashing through a energy barrier and that was pretty much exactly what it did. It bobbled down the few steps and slid onto the grass with screeching brakes and dented, smoking hood.  

 

It was her father’s car, and tied to its roof, hidden by sheets, was the tree.

 

Usagi smiled, and a calm settled within her that he had never seen in her before. “We can do this. There doesn’t need to be a fight.” She whispered.

 

At the same time that the Cardian flapped its wings and directed an energy blast resembling Ann’s but stronger, faster, grander at them, Usagi grabbed his hands, determined, and poured every ounce of her bravery into her gaze. A bubble of _something_ , a shield of some sort, expanded from the joint hands, encasing them and the Senshi, protecting them, and he felt her reach for his powers, they way they did in training.

 

He understood immediately, scrunched his eyes shut and opened up his every sensation to her, diving into hers like a person drowning, grabbing at her pool of light in return.

 

A shudder went through them, hairs stood on end, goosebumps covering every limb and patch of skin although he couldn’t for the life of him tell if it was hers or his body, as if a thin film of magic chose to cover them from head to toe and suck emotion from their pores and between their hands. He felt her gasp as if the sound had come from his own mouth, felt the warm, bright, pink energy form between their hands, just like it had when they had made her brooch.

 

But this time, the object forming between them was longer, extending, glowing between them.

 

Two things happened at once. Between them, the object took form as a wand, its staff pink, its peak heart-shaped like her brooch, and crowned, a crystal at its core, framed by gold that covered its base like a bow. And then, with the pulsing of the crescent moon on her forehead, mounds of white silk billowed away from her form, settling into a dress that he remembered all too well... both from memories of a past life and dreams in this one.

 

She looked up at him, serenely, and with the warmest smile he had ever seen on her lips she grabbed hold of the staff. It extended with her touch, growing towards the ground.

 

She didn’t wait for anyone to react, to get out of their shock, and with that she, Princess Serenity, simply turned around – dress crinkling with her every movement – and lifted her wand towards the skies, shouting.

 

“ _MOON SPIRAL HEART… HEALING KISS_!”

 

To Mamoru, it felt as if her were looking upon a goddess, upon something holy. The heat he felt - so warm, so perfect, erupting from Usagi in waves - glimmered and shone around them, so bright. And in its wake the toppled trees mended, flowers grew through the earth and leaned their blossoms towards her, and at the same time that the Cardian was destroyed by it in a blast of light, just like that, he felt that Ann’s and Ail’s energy was completely restored.

 

Ann crashed to the floor, hitting it hard, choking on the blast of emotion, so unused to it, and Ail behind her who had only been dimly aware of his surroundings blinked awake and rushed towards her, catching her, shocked and scared.

 

Everything about him started to shudder, as if his body was physically recoiling from Serenity’s warmth.

 

Behind them, Mamoru was aware of Kenji reacting to his daughter’s transformation, as well as the girls, but he had only eyes for Usagi, who started to speak, her tone lower that it usual was, royal and commanding, yet so so warm. “Your tree lives off emotion. You don’t need to take it forcefully, you only need each other. “

 

Ail fell to his knees, collapsing in a heap beside Ann and started crying, ugly sobs wracking through him. Usagi’s eyes softened even more and she took a step towards them, but he recoiled.  “Our tree is dead.” He spit through his tears, hissing.  

 

“Your tree is very much alive.” Sailor Mercury said from behind Serenity, and he felt Ail’s heart almost stop at the words and Ann’s anger flaring up, almost as if she thought they were taking them for a fool, angry how anyone could use such a hope against them.

 

But then Ami nodded towards Kenji. He twitched upward and then snapped the cords away from the roof of his car, and the tree started floating a bit, still covered by the sheets.

 

The emotion rolling of the two aliens was almost too much for Mamoru when Kenji yanked the sheet away, ruffling the trees leafs in the process. Mamoru’s throat constricted, it felt as if he couldn’t breath, and he knew for a fact it was just an echo of what these two were feeling.

 

Kenji carried it to his daughter, and lowered it next to her. Usagi grabbed Mamoru’s hand, squeezed it, and lifted it towards the tree along with hers.

 

He closed his eyes, and thought of her smile, and the flush in her cheeks back in the day when all he had dared to do was tease her, and about his birthday, when she had comforted him without even knowing what his anguish had been about, and the way her lips had felt on his cheek afterwards and his heart had hammered nearly through his chest,  and of the first time he had felt her lips upon his, clad in that ridiculous Superman T-shirt, and the evening at his apartment after that, and of the day he had first been allowed to touch her in a way that made her tremble beneath him, and of the day she had given him a family by inviting him into hers, and the way he felt in awe of her when she accepted Rei’s stoicism so completely, and of escalator cuddles and her beaming glee on food dates, and the look in her eyes when they danced in the street, and the look in her eyes when they danced at her friend’s party as if they were alone there, too, and the pride he felt when she made everyone feel so completely comfortable and at ease and taken care of, be it at that party or when talking about Makoto’s raw emotions of her parents’ death, and that blush on her face when she went through his playlist, or just yesterday, after he’d almost lost her, when she held him in his arms and loved every part of him, old and new.

 

He thought of it all and poured all this emotion to the forefront of his mind, mimicking her emotion exactly, when they touched the bark of the Makaiju.

 

It swelled, surging with power, and new leafs and branches curled from the bark, rising towards the sky. It had been a mere moment, and it had grown to the size of any tree around them, thick roots swelling at its base, coiling, moving.

 

Thick tears started pouring out of Ann’s red eyes, and Ail took tentative steps up towards the tree. He held his hand up to touch it, but didn’t – his hand hovering just millimeters from the trunk.

 

A wave of emotion hit Mamoru and he understood with a start that the man was communicating with the tree, when he let out an anguished sob, full of regret, but also hope.

 

He held his hand out towards his partner and she came to him, grabbing at it.

 

They turned back towards them, and Mamoru realized with a start that he wasn’t wearing his tuxedo anymore, but Endymion’s armor – it must have happened upon touching the tree; he hadn’t even noticed.

 

Ail bowed. Deeply, remorsefully, and Mamoru could feel the gratitude rolling off of him even though he didn’t voice it. “We will not be causing any harm from this day on.” He said, and with that he looked down at Ann, they both touched the trunk of their tree, and the air shimmered around them and they were gone.

 

The air stilled around them, and Mamoru and Usagi both turned back into just that… Mamoru and Usagi. You could have heard a pin drop at this second.

 

Sailor Jupiter broke it. “Okay…” She said, eyebrows raised. “So what just happened?”

 

But they had to hurry away. With Ann gone her forcefield was gone too, which meant approaching media. Kenji hustled the two into his car; the other Sailor Senshi, still transformed, walked into the light of the street lamps to keep any unwanted attention away from Usagi’s and Mamoru’s civilian forms.

 

Though what it made it onto the headlines on the next day was Kenji Tsukino and his partially ruined car. The news-hero who was helping the Sailor Senshi (of which there were more now.)

 

Kenji was quite smug about that.

 

All of the rest went back to normal; except that Seijuro had approached her at school the next day and announced that he would not be making advances on Usagi anymore, which was quite a weird situation for her, but she was really quite glad about that.

 

L

 

Minako looked back on the little sheet of paper in her hand which held the home address of a Tsukino Usagi written on it. Luna was perched on her shoulder, Artemis walking beside her, as in step as a cat could walk with a human being.

 

They had both grown considerably, of course, no longer her tiny baby kittens, but they were still not grown fully. They still had their shiny kitten fur, slender, fragile bodies, they movements still not as graceful as those of a grown, adult cat.

 

She sighed, lifting her shades up on her head. “So… what do I do… I just say hi? Good to see you, by the way, you’re my princess and I need to protect you?” She flinched, and smoothed over imaginary wrinkles on her chic and flared out cream-colored coat and colorful dress.

 

“…don’t worry about that. We’ll try to restore her memories, hopefully it’ll work and you don’t need to explain anything.” Luna said from her place on her shoulder – voice young, belonging to a teenager.

 

She stopped in front of a family house, very picturesque, with a white walled fence and a tag next to the buzzer that read “Tsukino”. The tiny white wooden fence in front of it was wide open, so she simply walked up to the door, shooting an insecure glance towards Artemis who nodded reassuringly.

 

Luna jumped down from her shoulder gracefully and landed with her soft pads on the other side of her. This was how she stood there, heart beating in her throat, framed by cats. She lifted her hand, holding her breath, and knocked three times.

 

A woman answered. Purple, wavy hair, impossibly gentle smile. “Oh hello!” She smiled. “What can I do for you?”

 

Minako flushed, and glanced once more down towards Artemis, who pursed his little snout at her, indicating for her to just talk already.

 

“Hello… I’m here to see your  eh… daughter?” She stammered and the woman smiled, turning back around and further into the house, opening her mouth to shout. But she didn’t need to…

 

Tsukino Usagi – it must be her, she would have recognized Serenity anywhere – chose that moment to peek around the hallway. Her eyes widened upon laying eyes on Minako, and she stumbled in her shock, mouth agape.

 

She stood there, and her mother looked at the girl with furrowed brows when Usagi started to shed silent tears, just staring at Minako, and took a few tentative steps forward.

 

Minako’s heart was beating so loud she had never experienced anything like it.

 

Then Usagi’s gaze broke and she looked down towards Minako’s feet. Then she started to giggle in her tears and knelt, opening her arms wide.

 

“Okaeri, Luna.” She whispered, tearily, with a huge, warm smile.

 

There was no holding the cat. Luna started to cry as well and jumped towards Usagi in one huge leap and was caught and cradled mid-air to the girl’s heart. Usagi was sniffling, starting to sob and looked back towards Minako.

 

And there he was, Endymion – well, Chiba Mamoru, of course – walking into the hallway with what started as a concerned and worried look and then turned to surprise, stopping dead in his tracks upon seeing her.

 

He placed his hand on Usagi’s shoulder as she slowly got up, Luna in her arms, and he smiled at Minako. “It’s good to see you Minako-san. Please come on in… We have a lot to talk about.”

 

Minako blinked, but had no time to process anything else, because her princess had tackled her, crying, and sobbed heartfelt welcomes into her shoulder.

 

L

 

He laughed. He couldn’t keep it in, it just bubbled out of him.

 

That the solution had been just under his nose, within reach, was just unbelievable.

 

He’d known at first sight that there had been something peculiar with that first Cardian sample. It had made no sense that this one, out of all of them, would have stayed frozen.

 

But that this peculiar frost of all things, and its genetic structure, had been his missing key... He’d seen a similar structure before, of course, in his own daughter. But it was no longer pure, had been changed by the entity residing in her, too modified to be accessed.

 

But this – this was pure. He was very positive that what he had here was Mizuno’s slightly alien DNA. There was power in it, force. And it had been his missing link to finally not only create, but perfect his daimon eggs.

 

He was sure, given time, that he would have had a breakthrough of some sort. They would have come to be, no matter what… but not like this. Not this powerful, not this perfect.

 

They would be magnificent, invincible now, once they were needed.

 

Professor Tomoe, alone in his barely lit lab, kept on laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it… the end.  
> Phew. Crazy feels.
> 
> Please, please tell me what you thought of it – of this chapter, of this story in general, of what you liked. No matter if you’ve read it fresh when it came out, or if you’re finding and reading this months after it’s published. It keeps me in this world, and makes me look back at what I wrote, and gives me endless ideas for a sequel, and even to write other stories.
> 
> Speaking of: As it is now, I do have ideas for a sequel to Ikigai, a lot of them, but not a final and thought-through laid out plot like I had when writing this one. So, one way or another, it’ll be a while until I’ll start writing one because a) I really need to focus back on grad school for a while and b) still need some more ideas.
> 
> (One thing’s certain though – if there’s a sequel it’ll have lots and lots and lots of Minako. I promise!)
> 
> So I’ll probably start next semester holidays. So see you in 90 days or so, I guess, maybe?? We’ll see.
> 
> Up until then, I will publish the odd Deleted Scene from Ikigai, though, from time to time (not here in this story directly though.) and I will keep the tumblr page (floraone), so you can get a hold of me there, should you want to^^.
> 
> Also, here’s what the Internet has to say on explaining what Ikigai means, and it absolutely captures what it was I was trying to do in this story, what the whole point of it was:
> 
> “Ikigai (生き甲斐 ) is a Japanese concept meaning “a reason for being”. Everyone, according to this concept, has an Ikigai. Finding it requires a deep and often lengthy search of self. Such a search is regarded as being very important, since it is believed that the discovery of one’s Ikigai brings satisfaction and meaning to life.”
> 
> So yeah….that’s what I tried for them to do. I hoped you liked it!


End file.
